Furries rejoice! Andy at NonToxicReviews is covering Toy Fair in NYC this week, and he's just uploaded some footage of the latest in the unending parade of Elmo merchandise: vibrating, giggling gloves that you can wear. We're almost afraid to see the videos that are going to start popping up once these hit the market.
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Little James here loves Elmo. In fact, his entire house is filled with every Elmo toy you could possibly imagine and even a few you can't. One of these beloved Elmos is a model that you can program with your computer to say your kids name. Recently, James' mother replaced the batteries in "Elmo Knows Your Name" and is now convinced that the doll is homicidal.
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Sorry kids, the Consumer Product Safety Commission and Fisher-Price are recalling Big Bird, Elmo, Dora and 83 other types of fun toys that happen to be covered with toxic lead paint from China.
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We hope we are not dignifying this obvious publicity stunt with coverage, but Walmart has "found" 4,000 of those stupid Extreme Tickle Me Elmo pieces of crap and will be "make [ing] the toys available "around noon E.T. on a first come, first serve basis" for $39.97 apiece." So, if you're one of those people who wants a zombified psychotic Elmo beast that will amuse your brat of a kid for about 10 seconds total, here's your big chance to hit refresh 300 times and still not get one. Have fun. —MEGHANN MARCO
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Consumer Reports has finally tested the "hottest toy" of the Christmas season the "extreme" T.M.X. Elmo...with hilarious results. It seems the Elmo is little more than "hard plastic covered by a thick fabric," and it tends to scare younger children.
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In 1963, Charles Beaumont penned the classic Twilight Zone Episode, "The Living Doll." In it, a possessed plastic doll named Talking Tina (and voiced by none other than June Foray, the voice of Rocket J. Squirrel) plots to kill Telly Savalas, a bitter husband who cruelly treats his stepfather to cope with his own impotence.
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If you happened to work in a store, as I did, during the Rosie O'Donnell induced Tickle Me Elmo craze, you'll understand my legitimate feelings of horror when confronted with people lining up to buy Elmo T.M.X. Announced today, Elmo T.M.X.'s (the X stands for X-treme) reveal ended "months of unprecedented secrecy that's had the toy industry abuzz."
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Murder Me Elmo Update! Turns out this story was just another cock tease, as Elmo is really just saying "Who has to go?" not "Who wants to die?" Or so the company insists:
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Every once and a while, something absolutely perfect in your life unexpectedly happens. Going from nadir to apex on the parabola of awesomeness: for some, it's seeing that unexpected, infinitely coveted purple drop in World of Warcraft; for others, it's going skydiving and landing in the missionary position inside Scarlett Johansen. But no matter what your dreams in life are, you have to admit, Elmo using his shrill nightmarish voice to tell small children looking for instructions on using their first potty that they are about to die is just shy of the best thing ever.
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Latest by airship: Of course, the definitive book on the subject is Taro Gomi's Everyone Poops, which includes brilliant observations like "An elephant more »
Consumerist
