Today’s lesson: If you’re wanted for any kind of crime — or even if you just want to be a good, considerate citizen — find a way to make sure your phone doesn’t pocket-dial 911. Otherwise, you may end up like James Green of Bangor, ME, who was arrested this weekend on outstanding warrants after his phone courteously called local police and helped them track him down.
If you were a criminal and needed to shoplift a chainsaw from a retail establishment discreetly, safely, and efficiently, how would you go about it? An Oklahoma man allegedly chose a novel method: stuffing it down his shorts. [More]
Sidling up to a deli counter and stuffing a 12-pound turkey breast down his elastic-waisted sweatpants must have seemed like a good idea at one point. So a Brooklyn teen gave it a try. However, the nature of elastic and the laws of physics intervened, and he ditched the turkey in the street after waddling out of the store. [More]