DHS officials said the newly disclosed policies — which apply to anyone entering the country, including U.S. citizens — are reasonable and necessary to prevent terrorism. Officials said such procedures have long been in place but were disclosed last month because of public interest in the matter.

Civil liberties and business travel groups have pressed the government to disclose its procedures as an increasing number of international travelers have reported that their laptops, cellphones and other digital devices had been taken — for months, in at least one case — and their contents examined.

The policies state that officers may "detain" laptops "for a reasonable period of time" to "review and analyze information." This may take place "absent individualized suspicion."

The policies cover "any device capable of storing information in digital or analog form," including hard drives, flash drives, cellphones, iPods, pagers, beepers, and video and audio tapes. They also cover "all papers and other written documentation," including books, pamphlets and "written materials commonly referred to as 'pocket trash' or 'pocket litter.' "

Reasonable measures must be taken to protect business information and attorney-client privileged material, the policies say, but there is no specific mention of the handling of personal data such as medical and financial records.

Senator Kickass Feingold (D-WI), sponsor of the unrelated Arbitration Fairness Act, plans to introduce legislation to require "reasonable suspicion" for border searches.

Defending the searches, Secretary Chertoff wrote in an Op-Ed that "the most dangerous contraband is often contained in laptop computers or other electronic devices." He added that "searches have uncovered "violent jihadist materials" as well as images of child pornography."

Just imagine what draconian Torquemada-esque searches they'll devise once they realize even more 'dangerous' and 'violent' material lurks within people's minds.

Travelers' Laptops May Be Detained At Border [Washington Post]
(AP Photo/Mike Derer)

• Take the place of an airline boarding pass.
• Contain personal information about the traveler.
• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage.
• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes.

Lamperd Less Lethal—oddly, that name doesn't make us confident about either the effectiveness or the safety of their products—has an entertaining instructional video on their site that explains why this is such a great idea. It opens with footage of the planes hitting the WTC towers, just in case you've forgotten, then describes how all the current solutions are ineffective—biometrics can't spot "new" terrorists who aren't in the database, Air Marshalls can inflict friendly fire on nearby passengers, etc. But they've got an answer in the EMD Safety Bracelet! Check out these handy graphics if you don't believe them:

Okay, we doctored that last one, but you know there'd be a technical glitch at some point that turns everyone on the manifest into a herky-jerky bag of twitching muscles. Pretzels everywhere! Plastic drink cups flying! You have to admit, it'd be funny to see (so long as your own EMD Safety Bracelet didn't go off at the same time.)

Lamperd Less Lethal insists that this is a great idea, and that passengers won't mind being figuratively collared like slaves out of a bad sci-fi movie:

Wearing an EMD safety bracelet for a few hours during a flight is a small inconvenience to ensure their safe arrival...many if not most passengers would happily opt for the extra security of the EMD safety bracelet.

We'll admit, it would certainly make it easier for flight attendants to take care of drunks, fashion victims, unruly children, and the occasional masturbator. But if DHS wants to take security this far, why not just anesthetize passengers and load us up on gurneys, where we'll remain blissfully unconscious as we're shipped like freight across the globe? It would be more dignified than wearing a stun bracelet.

"Want some torture with your peanuts?" [Washington Times] (Thanks to Capt Janeway!)
EMD Safety Bracelet video [Lamperd Less Lethal]

The good news is that the FCC has collected this information since 2004. The bad news is that they won't release it, even after MSNBC filed a Freedom of Information Act request (which any citizen can do online, here) citing "national security risks."

Disclosing the reports risks but one thing: that consumers will use the information to make informed purchases. — BEN POPKEN

Why Cell Phone Outage Reports Are Secret [The Red Tape Chronicles] (Thanks to Paul!)