I have a beautiful head of hair. Every morning, I wake up and, Marcia Brady like, comb out the gossamer locks. “One! Two! Three!” I chant, up until a million or I pass out. Then, I break open some eggs, carefully separate the yolk and then apply the white to each glistening strand with a fine paint brush. It’s a pain, but it’s worth it.
By October 16, 2006