The suspects' likely plan for later in the day. (ken fager)

Shoplifters Spotted Shoving Hamburgers Down Pants

Two men in Texas California were sort of shuffling around a supermarket without purchasing anything. One of the men was wearing very baggy pants, and store employees later told police that it was obvious something had been shoved inside his trousers. When the staff confronted him, his pants fell down, revealing ill-gotten hamburgers. [More]

(Coyoty)

Shoplifter Arrested After Shoving Steak Down His Pants

A 53-year-old man in Arkansas was arrested last week for shoplifting. His crime was one that has long fascinated us here at Consumerist: he is accused of trying to steal steaks from a Food Giant grocery store by shoving them down his pants. While this might seem like a logical and delicious enough crime, it’s also kind of a noticeable one. Also, no one will want to eat the meat. [More]

(MeneerDijk)

Walmart Shopper Thinks No One Will Notice 6.5 Pounds Of Cow Tongue Shoved In His Pants

We understand that the very act of wearing pants is kind of like adorning your legs in potential pockets — as long as nothing falls out the bottom, you’ve got fabric fit for carrying stuff. But just because you’ve got room in your pants to spare doesn’t mean it’s okay to shove stolen meat (or seafood) down there, as yet another bad consumer has shown us this week. [More]

(Artnchicken)

Man Jailed For Rubbing Pepperoni On His Weiner At Grocery Store

Earlier this week, a northern New York man was caught doing a terrible, terrible thing to an innocent stick of pepperoni. He was arrested and put behind bars…not just for lewd behavior in public in a Hannaford store, but because they had to destroy the pepperoni he had defiled afterward. [More]