The suspects' likely plan for later in the day. (ken fager)

Shoplifters Spotted Shoving Hamburgers Down Pants

Two men in Texas California were sort of shuffling around a supermarket without purchasing anything. One of the men was wearing very baggy pants, and store employees later told police that it was obvious something had been shoved inside his trousers. When the staff confronted him, his pants fell down, revealing ill-gotten hamburgers. [More]

(Artnchicken)

Man Jailed For Rubbing Pepperoni On His Weiner At Grocery Store

Earlier this week, a northern New York man was caught doing a terrible, terrible thing to an innocent stick of pepperoni. He was arrested and put behind bars…not just for lewd behavior in public in a Hannaford store, but because they had to destroy the pepperoni he had defiled afterward. [More]