(Steve Rhode)

McDonald’s Drive-Thru Worker Spots Own Stolen Car Pulling Up To Window

A McDonald’s employee may have left her car unlocked outside of her apartment complex overnight–she doesn’t remember. That didn’t mean that she deserved to have it stolen, though. She woke up to discover that her car was missing, then spotted the culprit…in the drive-thru lane at her workplace. [More]

(Dykam)

Man Arrested For Overnight Grocery Store Feast Of Whipped Cream, Steak, Shrimp, And Beer

According to police, a Kentucky man held the best overnight grocery store campout ever in the wee hours of Monday morning. Employees knew that something was up when they found 57 cans of Reddi-Whip brand whipped cream in the store’s trash. The whipped cream cans use nitrous oxide as a propellant, see. Oh, but the festivities didn’t stop there. [More]

(daysofthundr46)

Hobby Lobby May Have Overreacted To Theft Of $5 Worth Of Iron-On Letters

A Texas woman might be a little absentminded or beginning to suffer from dementia, but says that she didn’t mean to walk out of a craft store with a handful of embroidered iron-on letters. Unfortunately, she was shopping at Hobby Lobby, a chain whose management takes loss prevention almost as seriously as their Christian faith. The store wants the customer and her daughter to pay more than $1,000 in fines and civil penalties for the theft. [More]

(Dr. Disney Wizard)

Bank Investigators Do Not Need You To Withdraw $6,000 Cash And Give It To Them

Bank fraud is pretty serious business, and investigating it is important work. Banks do not, however, need you to help. If someone calls you up claiming to need your help with an investigation, do not help them. Do not withdraw thousands of dollars from the bank and give it to the “investigator.” It’s too late for two elderly women outside of Albany, New York, who withdrew $5,800 and $6,400 from their accounts, respectively. [More]

(CBS Chicago)

Taco Restaurant Cook Allegedly Filmed Ladies’ Room With Hidden Camera Phone

Another day, another creepy voyeur gets caught secretly filming customers in the restroom of the establishment where they work. This time, it’s a fast-food taco joint in the suburbs of Chicago, and police have put out a call looking for possible victims. The employee allegedly aimed his phone’s camera at customers using the women’s restroom. [More]

(ChrisGoldNY)

Comfort Food Crime Wave Continues: Man Steals Truckload Of Soup

First, the comfort food crime cartels came for the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, stealing more than 10,000 barrels and selling it on the amber market. Next was the Nutella theft: someone lifted more than $20,000 worth of choco-hazelnut spread from a truck in Germany. This week, we learned about a crime against one of the most comforting comfort foods, soup. Over the weekend, two men in Florida drove off with a tractor-trailer that contained $75,000 worth. [More]

(SA_Steve)

Watch out for shady black-market over-the-counter drug dealers. Police outside of Pennsylvania’s capital are looking for two men who stole $1,000 worth of Mucinex from a CVS store, and who may or may not have one heck of a cough. If that sounds like a lot, it’s not: it’s less than twenty 100-packs. [WHTM]

Not the flowers! Noooo!

Thief Dressed As Deliveryman Walks Out Of Florist With 21 Bouquets On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a chaotic time for florists, with temporary help mixing with regular staff to get everything delivered on time and to the right recipient. (Well, mostly.) In Chicago, one busy florist claims that a man took advantage of the floral fracas to walk off with 21 flower arrangements worth a total of $2,000. [More]

(jojoling)

Starbucks Barista Offers Would-Be Robber Free Coffee Instead Of Cash: Robber Accepts

When a would-be robber asked for all of the cash in the register of an Alabama Starbucks, either a quick-thinking cashier or the limits of technology got in his way. According to police, the cashier told him that the drawer wouldn’t open….so would he like a free coffee instead? Score! Free coffee! [More]

(Jason McHuff)

Man With Semiautomatic Rifle Kills 2 And Injures 6 At Mall, Then Kills Himself

On Tuesday afternoon around 3:30 PM, a man opened fire with an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle at the Clackamas Town Center mall in Portland, Oregon. According to police, wo people were killed and as many as six injured, at least one of whom is hospitalized and in serious condition. Early reports indicated that the gunman may have been wearing body armor and/or camouflage, and was wearing the hockey mask associated with Jason in the Friday the 13th films. After firing up to 60 rounds, he killed himself. No law enforcement officers fired any shots inside the mall. [More]

(Reuben Whitehouse)

Cashier Allegedly Scammed Lottery Winner Out Of $5 Million Ticket, Waited 6 Years To Cash It In

A maintenance worker in Syracuse, N.Y. claims that he won $5 million on an instant lottery ticket. He took it back to the store where he had purchased it, and the store owner’s son told him that he had only won $5,000. The man offered him for $4,000 in cash for the ticket. The store owner’s two sons sat on the ticket for six years, then turned it in to the state lottery. The lottery sensed that something was not right here. [More]

(J.G. Park)

Hide Your Valuables Where No One Will Ever Look

The best way to keep baddies from stealing your valuables is to not own anything valuable in the first place, but that’s no fun. Instead, consider hiding your valuables in places no one will look. Jewelry box? The obvious place to keep your grandmother’s pearls. An aspirin bottle in the medicine cabinet? Not so much! And who would look for a wad of cash wrapped in foil in an old Gardenburger box in your freezer? [More]

(stevelyon)

Buying An iPad From Some Guy At A Gas Station Isn’t Such A Good Idea

If some random person pulls up to you at a gas station and asks you if you’d like to buy an iPad for $200, go with your gut instinct. Unless your gut instinct tells you that this sounds like a really great idea. It isn’t. A Texas woman did just that. Now she’s stuck with an iPad that only lets her do one thing: have one-sided FaceTime conversations. Because it’s a mirror. [More]

(frankieleon)

When Choosing A Bank To Rob, Avoid The One Where Everyone Is Packing

There’s a sign on the door of the Peoples Bank & Trust that says you’re allowed to bring your concealed firearm in with you if you’re so inclined. That’s very American, but that doesn’t mean you’d expect the bank president to chase a robber from the bank lobby to his getaway vehicle while pointing a Colt .380 at him. Experts generally don’t support this hands-on approach to bank security, but it was effective: the robber (who was unarmed) surrendered, and the bank president is now a local hero. [More]

Walmart Employee Sentenced To 8 Years For Stabbing Customers On The Clock

Walmart Employee Sentenced To 8 Years For Stabbing Customers On The Clock

Two years ago, a Walmart employee who worked in the automotive department of a store in New Mexico walked up to a customer shopping with his family and threatened to fight him. Witnesses say that he then stabbed him in the chest and arms with a switchblade. Another customer, who authorities say tried to break up the fight, was stabbed under his chin. He was found guilty in May, and this week was sentenced to eight years in prison for the attacks. [More]

(cavale)

Florida’s Alleged Serial Used Enema Returner Has Been Apprehended

You can purchase disposable saline enemas with confidence: the man in Florida who would purchase, use, and return alarming quantities of them has been apprehended. Though in this context, an “alarming quantity” would be “more than zero.” The man’s federal indictment was just unsealed, and he was charged with, among other things, having “reckless disregard that another person would be placed in danger of death or bodily injury.” [More]

Employee Kills Coworkers At New Jersey Pathmark

Employee Kills Coworkers At New Jersey Pathmark

The Newark Star-Ledger is reporting that two workers are dead after an employee of the Old Bridge Pathmark supermarket in New Jersey entered the store with two guns and began shooting. The worker then took his own life. [More]

Do Not Throw Unwanted Water Refills On Your Red Lobster Waitress

Do Not Throw Unwanted Water Refills On Your Red Lobster Waitress

There are many ways to tell the restaurant employee who is currently serving your table that you are satisfied with your present quantity of ice water and would not care for a refill. “I don’t need any water, thanks,” you could say when they approach with pitcher in hand. You could shake your head “no” at them if your mouth is crammed full of breaded shrimp. In an informal establishment, you could put a paper napkin on top of your glass. We do not recommend that you follow the lead of three Illinois women, who were charged with attacking their Red Lobster waitress. A witness told the media that the trio expressed their displeasure at too-frequent refills by tossing their ice water on their waitress, then striking her with their hands. And their menus. [More]