Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle Away

Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle Away

A few years ago, we shared the story of a bold shoplifter who thought that nobody would notice if he stuffed a chainsaw down his pants and tried to make a break for it. Someone will notice, as it turns out. In Florida, police say that a man tried to commit a similar crime this week, only with the chainsaw stuffed in his shirt. He did not succeed. [More]

(Jess)

Intruders Massacred 920 Chickens With A Golf Club, No One Knows Why

Two weeks ago, an act of vandalism and animal cruelty occurred in a shed housing chickens belonging to meat producer Foster Farms. Someone entered a farm through a hole in the fence and clubbed 920 chickens to death for no clear reason. [More]

(Jacksonville Sheriff's Office)

Thief Steals Forklift, Tries To Break Into ATM With It

Some people would steal an industrial forklift from a construction site, and that would be the extent of their crimes. Forklifts are expensive, after all. Just sell the forklift and call it a (criminal) work day. Yet one criminal in Florida aspired to more. He or she apparently stole the forklift, then turned it to a greater purpose: stealing an ATM from a bank. [More]

(Great Beyond)

Bakery Robbers Demand Cash, Get 2 Doughnuts Instead

Early this morning, a pair of would-be bakery robbers walked into a bakery and demanded $20. The person staffing the counter, who happened to be the bakery owner’s 79-year-old mom, made them a counter-offer of two glazed doughnuts. They accepted. [More]

Why Do Criminals Love This Walmart So Much?

Why Do Criminals Love This Walmart So Much?

The Walmart on State Route 436 in Casselberry, Florida is very popular. Unfortunately, it’s popular with a demographic that retailers don’t want to attract: criminals. Specifically, shoplifters. Some very talented shoplifters, like the man who allegedly removed 18 televisions from the store while dressed as a woman. [More]

(914Studios)

Terrible Person Steals Jar Of Donations For The Jimmy Fund

Stealing a tip jar is pretty low, but do you know what’s even lower? Stealing a donation jar. Possibly even lower than that is stealing a donation jar for children. Children with cancer. Yet someone in Massachusetts did just that, stealing a jar of donations for the Jimmy Fund from a bar. [More]

Ron Dauphin

Do Not Set Bird Seed On Fire To Distract Walmart Staff From Shoplifters

Shoplifting is a crime, a scourge in the retail business, and very, very bad. Do you know what’s worse than than shoplifting, though? Setting the store on fire to distract store security while your companion shoplifts. Now a Minneapolis woman has been charged with two counts of arson, and the Walmart store where this happened sustained six-figure damage. [More]

Does Less Cash Mean Less Crime?

Does Less Cash Mean Less Crime?

This might seem like a completely backwards question, especially when you consider the recent mega-breach of credit and debit card numbers at Target. But it could be that the wider adoption of credit cards and electronic payments contributed to huge decreases in crime rates in the United States in the 1990s. [More]

Two Terrible People Robbed Girl Scout Selling Cookies Outside Of Grocery Store

Two Terrible People Robbed Girl Scout Selling Cookies Outside Of Grocery Store

We all eventually learn the difficult lesson that the world is out to get us and our small electronics. One young girl in Florida learned this in an unfortunate time and place: two men took off with her cell phone while she and a friend sold Girl Scout cookies in front of a grocery store. [More]

(БРАТСТВО)

Before Handing Over $9,000, Make Sure TV Salesman Really Works At Sears

When someone approaches you with a deal that seems irresistible, sometimes there’s a good reason why. For example, the person offering you a truckload of televisions for $900 each when they retail for $3,000 may not be a legitimate representative of the electronics department at Sears. [More]

(Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie)

Police: Man Pulled Gun On Cookie-Hawking Girl Scout

When you see a co-worker pass around the inevitable Girl Scout cookie order form and grumble about how you had to do door-to-door sales back when you were a kid, keep this story in mind. A family alleges that a Girl Scout selling cookies in a California neighborhood had a gun pulled on her by a potential customer. [More]

(amanjo)

Walmart Customers Charged With Beating Security Guard, Running Off With 55 DVDs

On Friday, a Walmart security guard in South Carolina confronted a woman who was pushing a cart filled with DVDs that she hadn’t paid for out the door. That’s his job. Instead of surrendering or simply running off, the two women allegedly started hitting the guard and then ran off. [More]

Tiny Bluetooth Card Skimmers Will Make You Hug Your Debit Card

Tiny Bluetooth Card Skimmers Will Make You Hug Your Debit Card

It’s probably not a good idea to use your debit card at the gas pump. Not because we have anything against debit cards, but because we’ve learned of yet another group of criminals who planted invisible card skimmers in pay-at-the-pump machines at gas stations in the southern United States. [More]

(Modern Farmer)

The History Of The Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, In Comic Form

We at Consumerist remain fascinated with the 2012 theft of 10,000 barrels of maple syrup from the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve in Quebec, Canada. We’re not the only ones: there’s even a movie about the heist starring Jason Segal in production. Yet some questions remained: Did authorities ever catch everyone involved? Was every drop of syrup recovered? More importantly, why is there a global strategic maple syrup reserve in the first place? [More]

Man Suspected Of Swapping iPods For Erasers At Target Caught, Arrested, Pleads Not Guilty

Man Suspected Of Swapping iPods For Erasers At Target Caught, Arrested, Pleads Not Guilty

Remember the guy in California who gave his wife an iPod box filled with erasers for Christmas, but not intentionally? When he tried to exchange it for a box with a real iPod in it, the new box contained erasers, too. We publish a lot of stories like this, but here’s something unusual: a follow-up story with the arrest of the person behind the alleged eraser-swap. [More]

Avoid Shoplifting After Faking Your Death To Avoid Shoplifting Charge

Here’s a tip: if you’re going to fake your own death to beat a shoplifting charge, remember that’s a big step. Don’t jeopardize your hard work by shoplifting again at a different department store and getting arrested. A woman in Nashville allegedly did just that, and is now accused of stealing from Dillard’s after faking her death to get out of a shoplifting charge at Macy’s. She did not try the controversial “Dawn of the Dead” defense. [USA Today]

Shoplifters Take $20,000 Worth Of Bras And Panties From Victoria’s Secret

Shoplifters Take $20,000 Worth Of Bras And Panties From Victoria’s Secret

It took them three shoplifting trips, but a pair of real-life underpants gnomes took $20,000 worth of bras and panties from a Florida Victoria’s Secret store. In surveillance video, you can watch two twentysomething men shove merchandise into a bag from another store and their pockets, apparently unnoticed by store employees. [More]

(TMQ.st.louis)

Comfort Food Crime Wave Is Back: $362,000 Worth Of Candy Disappears

In spring of last year, comforting, tasty foods began to disappear by the truckload. Soup, hamburgers, Nutella: all stolen. Consumerist developed a theory. What if these crimes were the work of a syndicate of well-traveled, resourceful, and extremely hungry thieves? After laying dormant for most of 2013, the Comfort Food Criminals are back. [More]