FedEx Indicted For Shipping Drugs For Illegal Pharmacies; Denies Allegations

Not the vehicle that crashed, as far as we know. (Michael Sauers)

More than a year after UPS agreed to pay $40 million to settle federal charges that it knowingly made shipments for illegal online pharmacies, a federal grand jury has indicted FedEx for similar allegations. [More]

(frankieleon)

Fake Airport Security Screener Tricks Women Into Pat-Downs

The world has enough problems with actual, inept TSA agents who have never heard of our nation’s capital. We don’t need jerks posing as airport security just to molest female travelers. [More]

Former Deputy Charged In Shoplifting Incidents That Got Target Worker Fired

(pdxmac)

Yesterday we told you about the Target worker in Virginia who was fired after he reported an alleged shoplifter believed to be a law enforcement officer. Today comes the news that a former sheriff’s deputy has been arrested and charged, while the Target worker remains unemployed. [More]

(Alan Rappa)

Stolen Horse Does Not Make A Good Getaway Vehicle For Drunken Shoplifter

I have vague memories of old Hollywood westerns and TV shows where bandanna-masked bank robbers would escape on the back of stolen horses. But in today’s decidedly non-equine culture, a shoplifter is probably going to stand out when she ties up a pilfered horse outside the store. [More]

‘Employee Of The Year’ Postal Inspector Charged With Stealing Passports, Pills, Playboys From Packages

(Adam)

A U.S. postal inspector and 2012 Federal Employee of the Year award recipient probably won’t be getting a trophy for his latest noteworthy achievement, as he stands accused of stealing pills, jewelry, passports, Playboy magazines, knives, marijuana, and an autographed Joan Rivers collectible from the mail he was entrusted to protect. [More]

Police: Man Called In Bomb Threat To Southwest Airlines To Ruin Ex’s Vacation

(Chris Wilson)

There are plenty of immature ways that you could — but most definitely shouldn’t — get revenge on an ex. While most of them are, at worst, misdemeanors, a Seattle man is facing a much bigger penalty for allegedly calling in a bogus bomb threat to Southwest Airlines just to get back at an ex-girlfriend. [More]

900 Stolen Cellphones = $270K Profit + 27 Months Behind Bars For Verizon Employee

900 Stolen Cellphones = $270K Profit + 27 Months Behind Bars For Verizon Employee

I’ll admit that when I worked at Dairy Queen in high school, I might have helped myself to the occasional Blizzard or Hot Fudge Brownie Delight, but I wasn’t stockpiling these soft-serve desserts and selling them for a profit. Alas, I lacked the entrepreneurial spirit of the Verizon Wireless employee who saw the potential for big bucks in pilfered hardware. [More]

A Man Walks Into McDonald’s With Knife In His Back; There’s No Punchline

A Man Walks Into McDonald’s With Knife In His Back; There’s No Punchline

Imagine you’re just minding your own business, waiting in line for some fast food breakfast at your local McDonald’s when a man walks in. Something seems a bit off about him. Is it the way he walks? Perhaps it’s something about the conversation he’s having on his phone. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the huge, bloody kitchen knife sticking out of his back. [More]

Walmart Employee Saves Kidnapping Victim After She Slips Her A Note

Walmart Employee Saves Kidnapping Victim After She Slips Her A Note

Imagine you’re just working at a Walmart in the retailer’s Arkansas hometown when a customer hands you a note that she’s been kidnapped by two National Guard members. Your day suddenly got a lot more interesting. [More]

Threatening To Blow Up Store With 3 Hydrogen Bombs Is A Tip-Off You Might Be Bluffing

Threatening To Blow Up Store With 3 Hydrogen Bombs Is A Tip-Off You Might Be Bluffing

We’ve told you before about the increasing number of morons who attempt to hold up retail stores by threatening to blow the place up if their demands for a few hundred dollars in prepaid debit cards isn’t met. It’s already a dubious ultimatum that is just asking to be called out as bogus, so escalating it by, I dunno, saying you have multiple hydrogen bombs at the ready, isn’t going to help make your case. [More]

Mayor Resigns Under Cloud Of Poop-Throwing Scandal

Mayor Resigns Under Cloud Of Poop-Throwing Scandal

Tens days after being caught on camera tossing a bag of dog poop onto the lawn of a man in his neighborhood, the mayor of an upscale Southern California town has tendered his resignation. [More]

Supreme Court To Decide When Online Rants Cross Line Into Criminal Threats

Supreme Court To Decide When Online Rants Cross Line Into Criminal Threats

If I go on Facebook and tell someone in Florida that I am going to beat him into a bloody pulp and maybe kidnap his kid for good measure, I’m in violation of federal law. But does it matter whether I actually intend to do any of these things or if I’m just ranting with no intention of getting up from my comfy couch to do anyone any harm? That’s the question the Supreme Court will soon have to decide. [More]

Mayor Of California Town Caught Tossing Poop Onto Neighbor’s Yard

Mayor Of California Town Caught Tossing Poop Onto Neighbor’s Yard

Tossing a bag of dog feces on someone’s property is the kind of thing you’d expect from an adolescent, or maybe some intoxicated adults acting like adolescents. It’s not the kind of behavior you’d ascribe to the mayor of an upscale town in Southern California. [More]

(MyToenailCameOff)

Uber Driver With Battery Conviction Charged With Punching Passenger

Ride-sharing service Uber is already drawing fire from established taxi and livery services who allege that its drivers are not held to the same standards as professional drivers. So it’s not great news that one of its drivers has not only been arrested for allegedly punching a passenger, but that he has a criminal history that does not bode well for one in this line of work. [More]

People With $3 Million Worth Of Nikes Claim They Didn’t Know Shoes Were Stolen

People With $3 Million Worth Of Nikes Claim They Didn’t Know Shoes Were Stolen

Five years ago, a large shipment of Nike sneakers were supposed to go from the shoe company’s distribution center in Tennessee to another center in Texas. The $3 million worth of footwear vanished en route but recently turned up in a house in Kentucky. [More]

89-Year-Old Storeowner Takes Golf Club To Legs Of Sword-Wielding Robber

89-Year-Old Storeowner Takes Golf Club To Legs Of Sword-Wielding Robber

Pop quiz, hot shot: You’re an 89-year-old owner of a small store that is being robbed by a man carrying a sword (yes, a sword). Do you A) let him take what he wants and hope he doesn’t hurt you; B) try to talk him out of it; or C) grab the nearest object and start swinging away? [More]

Father-Daughter Burglary Spree Ends After She Posts Doctored Microsoft Employee Badge On Facebook

Father-Daughter Burglary Spree Ends After She Posts Doctored Microsoft Employee Badge On Facebook

I’ve never had a daughter, and I didn’t really have much of a dad. Most of what I know about father-daughter relationships comes from watching Paper Moon. I have a feeling that last part might also be true of a dad-daughter pair in Washington state caught stealing more than $40,000 worth of stuff from the Microsoft store on the company’s main campus. [More]

Man Steals Bread Truck, Keeps Making Deliveries (Sort Of)

Man Steals Bread Truck, Keeps Making Deliveries (Sort Of)

My mom always said to me, “If you’re going to steal an in-use bread delivery truck, it’s only common courtesy to keep making the deliveries.” Of course, it doesn’t help if those deliveries are just to random businesses that didn’t order any of the bread. [More]