(Allison)

If You Bring A Baby With You To Shoplift At Walmart, Don’t Leave Her Behind

While we don’t condone theft of any sort, we are aware of the notion that having a baby with you while you shoplift might help create the illusion that you’re not a petty criminal who needs to be watched by store security. But if you get spotted trying to take advantage of some five-finger discounts, leaving that infant behind is incredibly uncool. It will probably also lead the police right to your doorstep. [More]

(Ninja M.)

Apple & FBI Investigating Mass Leak Of Stolen Nude Celebrity Photos

As you undoubtedly read about over the long weekend, numerous female celebrities’ mobile accounts were recently breached, and the extremely revealing results were posted online for all to see (And no, we’re not posting any links here). In addition to the personal embarrassment this invasion might have caused for the people in these images, it’s a black eye for Apple, who has a lot of explaining to do about the security of its iCloud storage. [More]

Drunk, Angry Customer Pulls Employee Through Wendy’s Drive-Thru Window

The employee was pulled through that wee window and then further assaulted by the customer. (Photo: Google Maps)

One might think that working at a fast food drive-thru window would provide some measure of protection from angry customers who want to leap over the counter and do bad things to you, but that is apparently not the case. [More]

(Sathish J)

Yet Another Airline Passenger Arrested For Groping Sleeping Woman

To all air travelers, but mostly to my fellow males — What the hell is wrong with some of you? It pains me to write yet another story about a passenger accused of molesting a sleeping woman in the seat next to him, but it apparently happened over the weekend on a United flight from Tokyo to Newark. [More]

(frankieleon)

Hot Sauce-Filled Soda Is Weapon Of Choice For One Taco Bell Customer

We’re pretty sure that throwing any beverage at a Taco Bell employee will get you booted and banned from the store. But since you’re at Taco Bell, why not include some hot sauce in the beverage bomb you toss in the Bell staffer’s face? [More]

If You Want To Keep Your Job As A News Anchor, Don’t Get Caught Shoplifting

If You Want To Keep Your Job As A News Anchor, Don’t Get Caught Shoplifting

As celebs like Wynona Ryder have demonstrated, you can get caught shoplifting and still go on to have a decent career in the public eye. Perhaps Ryder’s redemption tale will give some hope to a California news woman who has resigned her local anchoring gig after being charged with shoplifting. [More]

Our expert reconstruction of the crime scene. (photo: Morton Fox)

Burglar Breaks Into Restaurant To Cook Himself Crab Cakes

Every master criminal has his or her weakness that lands them in jail. Some get caught because they feel compelled to clean out every diamond from a vault. Others can’t resist the temptation of going up a supposedly unbeatable security system. Then there’s the guy in Delaware who was caught robbing a restaurant because he stopped to cook up some crab cakes for himself. [More]

Facebook-Shaming Gets Another Dine-And-Dash Artist To Pay Up

Facebook-Shaming Gets Another Dine-And-Dash Artist To Pay Up

Even though it’s no different than other forms of theft, it can sometimes be difficult to get the authorities worked up about a restaurant customer who skips out on a meal without paying. But some restaurant owners are having success with getting these dine-and-dash scofflaws to pay up by publicly shaming them on social media. [More]

(mytoenailcameoff)

If You’re Unhappy About Comcast Charge, Don’t Pull Gun On Service Tech

While we disagree with some who think that Comcast is an admirable company, we certainly don’t advocate using a gun to resolve your disputes with the cable company. Apparently our talk-it-out ways are not shared by a New Mexico woman who is accused of pulling a gun on a Comcast tech following a dispute over unexpected charges for a service call. [More]

Police Hunting For Man Who Stole 9 Lawnmowers From Sears… One Mower At A Time

Police Hunting For Man Who Stole 9 Lawnmowers From Sears… One Mower At A Time

When I first heard about a man wanted in Alabama for allegedly stealing nine lawnmowers from a Sears store, I assumed he’d swiped all the mowers at once with the aid of a truck or moving van. But no, this mower thief had the idiotic bravery to steal the nine mowers one at a time… in the backseat of his sedan. [More]

(Enokson)

If You’re Going To Commit $175K In ID Theft, Don’t Do It Under Your Real Name

One would think that a scammer clever enough to steal a victim’s personal data and trick some of the nation’s largest banks into helping her steal $175,000 would have the forethought to hide her own identity. But that idea apparently didn’t occur to a North Carolina who also posted helpful photos of herself online to aid police in their search. [More]

Even Millionaires Can’t Urinate On The Candy At CVS

Even Millionaires Can’t Urinate On The Candy At CVS

Even if you’re a wealthy real estate heir who has previously been acquitted of murder charges, you will probably get arrested if you decide to expose your private parts to CVS employees… and then use said private parts to urinate on the store property and products. [More]

FedEx Indicted For Shipping Drugs For Illegal Pharmacies; Denies Allegations

(Michael Sauers)

More than a year after UPS agreed to pay $40 million to settle federal charges that it knowingly made shipments for illegal online pharmacies, a federal grand jury has indicted FedEx for similar allegations. [More]

(frankieleon)

Fake Airport Security Screener Tricks Women Into Pat-Downs

The world has enough problems with actual, inept TSA agents who have never heard of our nation’s capital. We don’t need jerks posing as airport security just to molest female travelers. [More]

Former Deputy Charged In Shoplifting Incidents That Got Target Worker Fired

(pdxmac)

Yesterday we told you about the Target worker in Virginia who was fired after he reported an alleged shoplifter believed to be a law enforcement officer. Today comes the news that a former sheriff’s deputy has been arrested and charged, while the Target worker remains unemployed. [More]

(Alan Rappa)

Stolen Horse Does Not Make A Good Getaway Vehicle For Drunken Shoplifter

I have vague memories of old Hollywood westerns and TV shows where bandanna-masked bank robbers would escape on the back of stolen horses. But in today’s decidedly non-equine culture, a shoplifter is probably going to stand out when she ties up a pilfered horse outside the store. [More]

‘Employee Of The Year’ Postal Inspector Charged With Stealing Passports, Pills, Playboys From Packages

(Adam)

A U.S. postal inspector and 2012 Federal Employee of the Year award recipient probably won’t be getting a trophy for his latest noteworthy achievement, as he stands accused of stealing pills, jewelry, passports, Playboy magazines, knives, marijuana, and an autographed Joan Rivers collectible from the mail he was entrusted to protect. [More]

Police: Man Called In Bomb Threat To Southwest Airlines To Ruin Ex’s Vacation

(Chris Wilson)

There are plenty of immature ways that you could — but most definitely shouldn’t — get revenge on an ex. While most of them are, at worst, misdemeanors, a Seattle man is facing a much bigger penalty for allegedly calling in a bogus bomb threat to Southwest Airlines just to get back at an ex-girlfriend. [More]