HI CONSUMERISTS, LAURA NORTHRUP HERE FOR THE BILLY MAYS TRIBUTE POST! Billy is no longer with us, but his oeuvre remains. Let’s take a look back at the ads, products, and gentle self-mockery that made Billy a master among pitchmen.
The best thing about YouTube is that it lets us see wacky commercials and insipid infomercials without the inconvenience of watching TV. Where would the Comfort Wipe be without it?
Funny or Die has a pretty funny, nsfw parody of the current Microsoft “You find it, you keep it” commercials. Jake’s in the market for a decent laptop that can meet his needs, which include a big screen, the ability to go online, and enough cash left over for some subscriptions to certain adult websites. It’s basically what the real commercial would look like in a world without TV censors.
Good news for those of you who hate loud commercials — a bill currently bouncing around in Congress would force the FCC to “preclude commercials from being broadcast at louder volumes than the program material they accompany.”
-That’s why you’re a junior account manager, Chuck. You don’t think outside the box.
The people behind the new Smart Mop infomercial have clearly studied the success of the ShamWow guy, and they’ve taken the infomercial genre to a new level of silliness. Their new ad is so ridiculous that it seems designed more for YouTube than primetime, but since it’s funny and entertaining (for an infomercial) we’ll take the bait and post it.
Subway spokesman and occasional thin guy Jared Fogle may soon be out of work thanks to a new FTC rule banning commercial testimonials that warn “results not typical” or “individual results may vary.” Under the new rule, marketers using, say, body builders to advertise weight loss pills are also going to have to show an average lardass whose results might be more typical. You can guess how advertisers are reacting to the change…
The world of late night TV (and now prime time too) has never had a shortage of stupid exercise machines guaranteed to make you look like a dehydrated, sauced-up infomercial model. ObsessionFitness has put together a quick list of 8 of the worst offenders, including our favorite, the hula-inducing Hawaii Chair.
Tonya emailed us a video clip of a cute little piggy with a robot voice complaining about being trapped on hold. We appreciated the rant, but were even more fascinated with the technology that allowed her friend to turn a long, written diatribe into an instant cartoon. You know who needs this? Dan Hesse, shunned pitchman and CEO for Sprint! You’ll never have to stop making commercials now. Also, we’ve decided to make you British.
As we’ve said repeatedly, AnnualCreditReport.com is the good website to go to when you need to pull a credit report, because it’s actually free. The others, including freecreditreport.com, use the promise of free the way an angler fish uses its forehead-worm-thing to trap dumb little fish. The FTC has decided to fight fire with fire by releasing its own jingles. To be honest, we’re not 100% sold on them—they have kind of a squaresville, PBS vibe, which is gonna really hamper their viral power. Check them out below.
If you’re down in the dumps and have nowhere else to turn, consider this collection of congratulatory remarks dubbed over applause. Only $24.95! But wait, if you order right now, you’ll also get some, uh, pewter puzzle pieces?
What’s better than Billy Mays? Remixes of Billy Mays? We agree. And guess what? We’re tripling the offer inside. Yes. That’s right.* *These are all probably NSFW.
You, dear consumer, have abruptly stopped purchasing automobiles. GM’s sales are down 45%. Ford has sunk by 30% and Toyota, yes, that Toyota is down 23%.
Okay, we got the bathroom humor of Kellog’s All-Bran commercial last year. We’re not sure if this commercial for Extended Stay Hotels, which shows guests so relaxed that they pass gas—or what the French call un petit éclatement—is quite as effective. Maybe they should change the tagline at the end to, “Our windows can be opened.”