Roller Skating Is Definitely Better Than Using Crack

Roller Skating Is Definitely Better Than Using Crack

More than three years ago, comedy duo and self-proclaimed “internetainers” Rhett & Link set out to find great local businesses all over the country, and make great local commercials for them. “That’s nice, Consumerist,” you say. “But they can’t possibly still be doing this three years later and producing new ads.” That’s where you would be wrong, imaginary hypothetical reader! [More]

The Six Million Dollar Man Is Hawking $300 Hearing Aids

The Six Million Dollar Man Is Hawking $300 Hearing Aids

We have evidently not been paying close enough attention to the world of as-seen-on-TV products. Because if we had, we would have reported that Lee Majors, star of the ’70s series “The Six Million Dollar Man” was hawking bionic ears over-the-counter hearing aids. [More]

Man Who Drank Glass Of Fat Walks Off Can Of Soda

Man Who Drank Glass Of Fat Walks Off Can Of Soda

The same guy who drank a glass of fat to demonstrate the lard-inducing effects of soft drinks is back. This time he shows how long you have to walk to burn off the calories from a can of soda. It takes three miles! That’s the distance from Union Square to Brooklyn in New York. [More]

DirecTV DVR Makes Me Watch Ads… But Only For DirecTV

DirecTV DVR Makes Me Watch Ads… But Only For DirecTV

We always knew that the cable companies that rent us our DVRs would eventually find a way to let customers time-shift, but still us all to watch commercials. DirecTV subscriber Dan wonders whether he’s alone in being unable to use his 30-second skip button only on his satellite provider’s in-house ads. [More]

Subway Ad Serves Up Birdbaths Of Hamburger Grease And
Hypocrisy

Subway Ad Serves Up Birdbaths Of Hamburger Grease And Hypocrisy

Subway’s “Eat Fresh” campaign is all very well and good, but fast food is fast food. Sure, you can order a six-inch turkey sub loaded with vegetables and no cheese or mayo with a side of apple slices. Or you can get a footlong tuna salad sub that has more fat than a Big Mac and fries. Which do most customers choose? Yet Subway’s latest ad slams burger chains for the unhealthiness of their food, showing kiddie pools full of burger grease. [More]

Colbert Makes Dude Version Of Summer's Eve Hand Puppet Ads

Colbert Makes Dude Version Of Summer's Eve Hand Puppet Ads

In order to rectify a troubling imbalance in the world, the Colbert Report made a spoof commercial of the Summer’s Eve talking vaginal hand puppets, just for men. [More]

Parody: Baby's Face Lotion

Parody: Baby's Face Lotion

This parody ad riffs on all those “age-defying” facial lotion commercials and takes it to their inevitable and ridiculous conclusion. “People say that I have a baby face,” says the female voiceover, “but now that I’m getting older, t hat’s just not enough.” Cue disturbing special effects. [More]

Original Ronald McDonald Was Really Creepy

Original Ronald McDonald Was Really Creepy

If today’s Ronald McDonald looked more like his original incarnation, the McDonald’s CEO might have a tougher time defending against those asking for the burger clown’s resignation. Have you seen the first Ronald? Played by Willard Scott, he’s a clown with a soda cup for a nose and a tray of food as a hat. He also has a food tray attached to his belt which will magically produce three hamburgers in a row on demand. You can see why this Ronald was streamlined into the version we know today. Because he looks like a serial killer. [More]

This Is How TV Ads Are So Loud

This Is How TV Ads Are So Loud

Here’s something that might be hard to believe at first. There is no difference in volume between the loudest part of a TV show and a loud commercial. [More]

How The Japanese Disaster Will Hurt Local TV Stations, Newspapers This Summer

How The Japanese Disaster Will Hurt Local TV Stations, Newspapers This Summer

Aftershocks from March’s earthquake and tsunami in Japan will reportedly hit home in the advertising world in the coming months, due to Japanese auto manufacturers’ supply shortages. And the new victims will be the bottom lines at newspapers, as well as TV and radio stations. [More]

Tajazzle Bedazzles Your Intimate Areas

Tajazzle Bedazzles Your Intimate Areas

This is an incredible infomercial for “Tajazzle,” a “3-step system of personal confidence” whose third step is a crystal tattoo that you place in an area “only your lover can find.” Everything from the product itself, to the cheesy actors super committed to being super sensuous, is hilarious. [More]

Mash Up Gender-Targeted Toy Advertisements For Your Amusement

Mash Up Gender-Targeted Toy Advertisements For Your Amusement

The average child watches thousands of television commercials every year. Ads geared to kids don’t just encourage purchases of mass-produced plastic toys and mass-produced junk food: they also enforce rigid gender stereotypes about who should be playing with which kind of toy. Girls want sparkly pink ponies that bake cupcakes and need to be fed bottles, and boys want loud, fast remote-controlled tanks that shoot lasers and green slime. But happens when you pair the audio to a “boy” ad with the video to a “girl” ad? [More]

UK Ad Predicts Feline Evolution, Rise To Power

UK Ad Predicts Feline Evolution, Rise To Power

Fans know that The Consumerist is the place to go for consumer advocacy, money-saving tips, and news about the oddities of global capitalism. But we also work hard to prepare our readers for the coming rise to power of our feline overlords. This UK milk commercial combines slightly off CGI with a warning about what we’re in for when cats finally evolve opposable thumbs. [More]

Senate Passes Bill Banning Loud Commercials

Senate Passes Bill Banning Loud Commercials

Everyone hates loud commercials, which is why Senate Republicans and Democracts were able to agree on something and Wednesday unanimously passed a bill banning them. The bill would require commercials to be broadcast at the same sound level as the programs they’re interrupting. [More]

What Happens When You Let 100 Cats Loose Inside An IKEA?

What Happens When You Let 100 Cats Loose Inside An IKEA?

Who knows better than cats what the most comfortable and interesting spaces in your house are? That’s the idea behind a new commercial for IKEA. To get the crucial kitty footage, one hundred cats were–why not?–let loose inside the Wembley store after hours to romp and nap for the cameras. [More]

Predators Shrink Ray Zapped My Movie

Predators Shrink Ray Zapped My Movie

The Grocery Shrink Ray is so powerful its scope spreads beyond grocery store aisles and into movie theaters, where it reduces the number of bloodthirsty villains in action movies. [More]

How On Earth Did They Make That Old Spice Commercial?

How On Earth Did They Make That Old Spice Commercial?

A new commercial in Old Spice’s “the man your man could smell like” series of ads hit the airwaves and the Internets this week. If you’re not delighted, you should be. The commercials are silly, visually interesting, and–according to their star, the very visually interesting actor Isaiah Mustafa–surprisingly low-tech behind the scenes. [More]

ABC Doubling The Commercials On iPad App, Online Streams

ABC Doubling The Commercials On iPad App, Online Streams

If you watch ABC’s shows online or with an iPad, your limited commercial interruptions are about to get a little less limited. So far, most of ABC’s streaming shows contain 5 to 6 ads of 30 seconds each, but mocoNews says one of ABC’s executives just confirmed that the network is going to double that ad load, perhaps leading the way for other networks to do the same. [More]