(YouTube)

We’re Going To Be Humming The Awful/Genius Jingle From A Cheesy Mall Commercial All Day

Boots and pants… where can I buy some boots and pants? Or haircuts? What about haircuts? Denim! My needs to be addressed, simply and set to music. Good thing there’s an awkward/genius commercial for a mall in New Jersey to fulfill all my shopping and amusement needs. [More]

Get Through Your Friday With The Help Of This Laughably Bad Anti-Liquor-Privatization Ad

Get Through Your Friday With The Help Of This Laughably Bad Anti-Liquor-Privatization Ad

Here in Pennsylvania, there’s a heated debate going on about whether or not to ease the state’s byzantine laws on the sale of alcohol. Both sides of the issue have merit, but a new ad arguing against changing the law isn’t doing itself any favors. [More]

Group Calls On Parents To Tear Kids Away From TV, Computer Screens For A Week

Group Calls On Parents To Tear Kids Away From TV, Computer Screens For A Week

Not so long ago, people would have laughed at the idea that elementary school kids would have smartphones, or that every member of a family would have a TV in his/her room, or that potty-training toilets would be designed to hold a computer screen to placate the defecating infant. In an effort to remind people that there is life outside of the LCD screens they hold in their hands, one group is asking parents to go screen-free next week. [More]

Frank Ocean’s Reply To Chipotle’s Lawsuit Over Undelivered Ad Song: F@&# Off, Here’s A Check

Frank Ocean’s Reply To Chipotle’s Lawsuit Over Undelivered Ad Song: F@&# Off, Here’s A Check

Things are heating up between Chipotle and musician Frank Ocean, after the Mexican food chain accused the singer in a lawsuit of failing to deliver a song for a commercial. Chipotle claims it paid him $212,500 in advance but then he failed to record the ad campaign’s song. His reply? Here’s your money back and oh yeah, f–k off. [More]

E-Mail Shows Big Corn Exec Wary Of Using “Natural” To Describe High-Fructose Corn Syrup

E-Mail Shows Big Corn Exec Wary Of Using “Natural” To Describe High-Fructose Corn Syrup

Though the FDA rejected the bid to relabel high-fructose corn syrup as “corn sugar” in 2012, the legal battle over ads about the sweetener is still ongoing. Newly uncovered e-mails from executives at huge agri-business firms reveal that not everyone was on board with all the messaging in the pro-HFCS ads. [More]

Save Santa: Buy This Hallmark Ornament

Save Santa: Buy This Hallmark Ornament

When we received an e-mail from reader Ryan entitled, “The most brilliantly evil Christmas commercial ever made,” well, our interest was piqued. Surely that bar is very high. There have been some great (terrible) moments in holiday commercial history. [More]

Cal and his dog, Spot.

7 Reasons Wacky Used Car Salesman Cal Worthington Will Never Be Forgotten

For anyone growing up in California, it’s likely that you saw used-car impresario Cal Worthington and his dog Spot imploring shoppers to “Go see Cal.” And if you didn’t, your local salesman probably lifted a few tips from him. One of the most famous, wackiest of wacky car commercial salesmen, Worthington passed away on Sunday at age 92, prompting an outpouring of nostalgic tributes. Whether or not you ever went to see Cal, here are seven reasons never to forget him. [More]

Kia’s Viral Commercials Are All About The Hamsters, Not So Much The Cars

Kia’s Viral Commercials Are All About The Hamsters, Not So Much The Cars

The original commercial for the Kia Soul wasn’t quite like anything else in car ads. While it was computer-animated and probably not cheap to produce, the full one-minute spot received millions of views on YouTube. Kia’s cute hamsters and clear storyline got everyone’s attention, and that was the company’s goal. [More]

(Carbon Arc)

What Is This “Football” You Speak Of? Survey Says 91% Of Consumers Excited For Super Bowl Ads

You’ve got your chicken wings ready, the remote has fresh batteries and the perfect spot is staked out on the couch. Does it even matter that there will be a football game airing during the Super Bowl, or are you just excited to see the ads? A new survey says 91% of consumers gearing up for the big day are also pumped about seeing the commercials. [More]

Hollywood Star Acer Commercials Push Ultrabooks, Challenge Gender Norms

Hollywood Star Acer Commercials Push Ultrabooks, Challenge Gender Norms

Kiefer Sutherland seeks new, exciting, and flame-tastic ways to… bake cupcakes. Megan Fox walks away from a zero-g gig in her underwear to… create a computer program to communicate effectively with dolphins. In these extended ad spots designed to play in movie theaters, the stars follow their secret passions with the help of an Acer Ultrabook because, well, that’s who’s paying for the commercials. [More]

(The Master Shake Signal)

I Hate Progressive Insurance For Waking Me Up Over And Over

Tegan is mad at Flo from Progressive. Arguably, it’s her own fault: she leaves the TV on overnight as a sort of background noise. This leaves her and her fiancé at the mercy of whatever commercials run while they’re dozing. A new spot for Progressive insurance that advertises their mobile app features the loud, prominent sound of a vibrating phone. Most TV watchers might glance at their own phones in confusion, but Tegan was asleep, and was on call for work, so when she heard the vibrating sound, she woke up to check her phone. [More]

Roller Skating Is Definitely Better Than Using Crack

Roller Skating Is Definitely Better Than Using Crack

More than three years ago, comedy duo and self-proclaimed “internetainers” Rhett & Link set out to find great local businesses all over the country, and make great local commercials for them. “That’s nice, Consumerist,” you say. “But they can’t possibly still be doing this three years later and producing new ads.” That’s where you would be wrong, imaginary hypothetical reader! [More]

The Six Million Dollar Man Is Hawking $300 Hearing Aids

The Six Million Dollar Man Is Hawking $300 Hearing Aids

We have evidently not been paying close enough attention to the world of as-seen-on-TV products. Because if we had, we would have reported that Lee Majors, star of the ’70s series “The Six Million Dollar Man” was hawking bionic ears over-the-counter hearing aids. [More]

Man Who Drank Glass Of Fat Walks Off Can Of Soda

Man Who Drank Glass Of Fat Walks Off Can Of Soda

The same guy who drank a glass of fat to demonstrate the lard-inducing effects of soft drinks is back. This time he shows how long you have to walk to burn off the calories from a can of soda. It takes three miles! That’s the distance from Union Square to Brooklyn in New York. [More]

DirecTV DVR Makes Me Watch Ads… But Only For DirecTV

DirecTV DVR Makes Me Watch Ads… But Only For DirecTV

We always knew that the cable companies that rent us our DVRs would eventually find a way to let customers time-shift, but still us all to watch commercials. DirecTV subscriber Dan wonders whether he’s alone in being unable to use his 30-second skip button only on his satellite provider’s in-house ads. [More]

Subway Ad Serves Up Birdbaths Of Hamburger Grease And Hypocrisy

Subway Ad Serves Up Birdbaths Of Hamburger Grease And Hypocrisy

Subway’s “Eat Fresh” campaign is all very well and good, but fast food is fast food. Sure, you can order a six-inch turkey sub loaded with vegetables and no cheese or mayo with a side of apple slices. Or you can get a footlong tuna salad sub that has more fat than a Big Mac and fries. Which do most customers choose? Yet Subway’s latest ad slams burger chains for the unhealthiness of their food, showing kiddie pools full of burger grease. [More]

Colbert Makes Dude Version Of Summer's Eve Hand Puppet Ads

Colbert Makes Dude Version Of Summer's Eve Hand Puppet Ads

In order to rectify a troubling imbalance in the world, the Colbert Report made a spoof commercial of the Summer’s Eve talking vaginal hand puppets, just for men. [More]

Parody: Baby's Face Lotion

Parody: Baby's Face Lotion

This parody ad riffs on all those “age-defying” facial lotion commercials and takes it to their inevitable and ridiculous conclusion. “People say that I have a baby face,” says the female voiceover, “but now that I’m getting older, t hat’s just not enough.” Cue disturbing special effects. [More]