According to The Boston Globe, Comcast has:

...a corporate philosophy that aims to have even its subscribers love the cable giant as much as workers do. The underlying principle is simple: Happy employees make happy customers. "Everything is delivered through our employees," said Stephen L. Hackley, senior vice president for the Greater Boston region. "If employees are satisfied and happy, it comes through on the phones, it comes through in the field. They are the difference makers."

Some of those cheerful "difference makers" gushed to the Globe about their great jobs — and about how great it is to be serving those happy customers. "I have more freedom and more responsibility, and as long as I don't make any mistakes, no one is on my back," said James Mendes, a field technician. "I'm allowed to fix all the problems and make the customer happy. I've never been happier."

The Globe recently named Comcast, which has 4,000 employees in Massachusetts, the top place to work in the state. The cable giant beat out employers like Harmonix Music, which makes a little game called Rock Band, and Google, which gives all employees FREE FOOD — because of little things like a 401k match, flexible shifts, and policies that encourage them to become "discerning consumer advocates." We assume the free porn and comfy customer couches are just icing on the happy, happy cake.

A cable company that listens [The Boston Globe]

(Photo: Eli Hodapp)

(Thanks, Jimmy!)

Unfortunately for you but luckily for your would-be customers, Johnny law does not approve of such tactics. The News-Herald of Panama City, Fla. reports:

Springfield police say that on Sept. 9 Kennedy Cao, 33, interrupted the Springfield Cable service to Myrtle Danley, a Springfield Cable customer and the mother of Commissioner Carl Curti. Danley stalled Cao long enough for Springfield police to arrive, and after Cao confessed to interrupting the service he was arrested and charged with unauthorized tampering with communications services, according to documents released by the Springfield Police Department.

Danley and dozens of other Springfield Cable customers, including Mayor Robert Walker, have had their service disconnected by contractors working for Comcast for the past several weeks, said Springfield Police Chief Phillip Thorne. One customer had her Springfield Cable service cut off four separate times, he added.

So remember, Comcast contractors, win over prospective customers not by tricky, criminal shenanigans, but by preaching about how great Comcast is. Oh, wait...

Comcast, Springfield Cable disagreement leads to arrest [News-Herald]
(Photo: dmuth) (Thanks, Peter!)

The FCC and Comcast have been fighting this out in FCC panels and courtrooms off and on since ownership limits were put in place in the early '90s. The limits stated that no company could be large enough to serve 30% of all consumers with cable.

Now, the court agrees, satellite and fiber optic services are valid competitors to cable, and the threat of Comcast world domination is no longer as scary. Oh, yeah, and limiting how many customers they can have is infringing on Comcast's First Amendment rights:

Comcast told the court the limit violated its First Amendment right to speak to cable subscribers, and that the FCC didn't account for an increase in provider choices available to customers. Satellite TV companies such as DirecTV and Dish doubled their number of subscribers in the seven years leading up to the FCC's decision, Comcast said in a brief.

Today the court adopted Comcast's reasoning. It cited satellite companies and those that send programming over fiber- optic cables, such as Verizon Communications Inc. and AT&T Inc.

"Speak to cable customers"?

Comcast currently serves about 25% of households in the United States. The company has no current plans to buy up smaller providers and/or competitors.

Comcast Wins Appeal of FCC's Cable Market-Share Limit [Bloomberg News]

(Photo: cmorran123)

Basically, the cable companies (Time Warner, Comcast, etc.) pay subscription fees to cable networks (CNN, ESPN, etc.). The cable companies pay a lot for the channels, and in return get the right to air their own commercials for a specified time every hour. They then get the revenue from the commercial airings.

The networks send a signal, usually inaudible, that tells the local cable company when to insert the local commercial. It is not time based triggering, it is based on this signal.

If you listened to CNN years ago, you used to be able to hear the audible cue tones (like a touch tone phone) just before the commercial breaks.

It appears that the local company or the network is signaling incorrectly that a local ad can run.

Aha! So our readers who theorized that something might be wrong with the ad-serving software at local Comcast headquarters. This probably also explains why, heading back to "The Daily Show" from commercial break, I sometimes see half a second of the Enzyte commercial that would have aired had my local Time Warner not inserted their own ad instead.

A little bit of research turned up the specifications for some channels' local avail signaling tones. For example. here are the notes given to cable providers about when they can place ads on CNBC (even during infomercials):

CUE TONES: Tones are generated on a dedicated DTMF port on the rear of the IRD. Please consult the manufacturers documentation for connection information.
PRE-ROLL: 08
3 MINUTES PER HOUR: CNBC Programming
Local Commercial Times : :60 Floating Break Between :03 - :17
:60 Floating Break Between :24 - :34
:60 Floating Break Between :41 - :51

Sponsored Programming:
:28: 30 :90 Hard Break
:58: 30 :90 Hard Break

TONES: 622* (Local avail on)
622# (Local avail off)

PREVIOUSLY: Comcast Won't Let Me Watch Cartoons!

From The Oregonian:

According to Oregon State Police, Mendoza Olvera was driving south on Interstate 5 near milepost 230 when it accelerated and hit the back of a commercial semi-trailer. Mendoza Olvera's Suzuki Sidekick then went into the center median and continued several hundred feet before going over a 40-foot embankment and into Oak Creek. The car was upside down in about four to five feet of water.

Police said Comcast employee Jay Burris, 36, from Salem, stopped to help. He ran down to the water and pulled Olvera out. She regained consciousness after being pulled from the water.

Two other men also stopped to help and the three of them flipped the car over to make sure there were no more passengers. The person they rescued was cited for reckless driving and not having a license.

Driver rescued from submerged car by bystander [The Oregonian]
(Photo: Oregon State Police)

Their story boosts Comcast's early bid to repeat its iinspiring Cinderella run in last year's Worst Company In America tourney:

My husband and I have a small landscaping company and a residential design firm in Western Maryland. A remote area, with few choices for things like business service particularly phone, internet etc. We were Verizon customers but after a recent move we were unable to use Verizon for high speed internet and had to switch to Comcast. After a few months Comcast contacts our accountant and asks if we would like to switch our phone service 'cause it will save us a bundle.

So after some number crunching we switch. For both companies. Well today they disconnected our service for the landscaping company. With no prior warning, no courtesy call, no nasty-gram, nothing. The lines for our design business were still active so we contacted Comcast and they said our payment hadn't posted so they disconnected our service. The payment was mailed over a week ago and even with a posting delay it may have been a few days late, but nothing serious (like 45+ days or more). So now our customers are getting "This number has been disconnected." And while Comcast said they would reconnect our service "in a little while." It's been 5 hours and nothing. Our accounting manager is trying to make something happen, but so far no luck.

If this is the way Comcast is treating business customers I can't imagine that they will successful in that market. I'm guessing we'll move on back to Verizon after this — for all of the problems Verizon usually has, they've never done anything like this.

I really, really hate Comcast right now.

More than a week has passed, and Kelly has yet to hear back.

Obviously it's not a good idea to pay your bill even a few days late, but Comcast seems to be behaving unreasonably here. Somewhere that smug, bespectacled "can you hear me now/it's the network" Verizon guy sports that smug look on his face as he readies to reclaim an old customer.

(Photo: mojojornjorn)

Comcast and Time Warner Cable are working to bring this to you, starting with Turner Broadcasting programs. BusinesWeek has the details:

Here's how the trial will work: Starting in July, 5,000 Comcast subscribers will be able to see shows online from Turner Broadcasting's TNT and TBS channels, like The Closer and Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns. But first, they each will have to demonstrate that they're a Comcast cable-TV subscriber through a screening called authentication. That most likely will entail a user name and password. Comcast will offer the shows on Comcast.net and Fancast.com, and Turner on TNT.tv and TBS.com.

Cable companies hope to stop users from giving up cable entirely through evil plans such as cable subscriber authentication and charging for sites like Hulu. Will media companies succeed in breaking younger consumers' belief that content should be free?

Time Warner, Comcast Plan to Wall Off Online TV [BusinessWeek]

(Photo: LAYeiser)

Comcast has been barraging me with invitations to come back ever since I switched to FiOS. On some days I will open my mailbox to find multiple Comcast ads that are identical. Now I have this one taped to my front door with a nice little note in the upper right corner. How hard up are these guys?

I think Comcast is just feeling needy after their loss to AIG in this year's Worst Company In America contest.

The drama started when Adam moved and Comcast kept applying his payment to his old account. After a few months of this, they shut off his cable and told him he owed around $300, which he gladly paid over the phone — only to realize that he'd just paid Comcast twice for the same service and that his cable still wasn't back on.

His original email was understandably quite lengthy, but here's how he signed off:

The worst part of it all, LOST is on tonight and I am missing it.

Oh yeah, I am picking up a wireless signal from a neighbor since my internet is out. Be sure to also tell people to secure their networks since you never know who is on it.

The whole mess was eventually straightened out — but Adam decided he'd had enough of Comcast and switched to FiOS, which is where we join his story.

Adam writes:

As I have been updating you on my serious of issues with Comcast and their breaking of protocol, lying to a customer, and inability to handle even the simplest of requests the saga is finally over but not without one last instance of poor customer service.

On Friday 05/15/09 I had FIOS installed but my Comcast billing cycle went through Monday 05/18/09 and on Sunday 05/17/09 at 6:30pm I called Comcast to cancel my service and was unable to speak with a person regarding billing.

I called 2-3 times to try to speak with someone but kept getting taken to the same area on the phone system, and finally after selecting I was having trouble with service was I finally able to get a CSR on the phone. I told them I would like to cancel my service and when they asked why I said I was done with the level of service I got from Comcast and had FIOS installed.

The person said they were sorry to hear that but they were unable to complete my request and I needed to call back on Monday 05/18/09 during business hours because they only had technical support on the weekends. In my last statement to Comcast, I explained that this was exactly the reason I am canceling their service.

I called to handle an issue with them, and it should not matter what day or what time I called, because if I have a billing problem I should be able to speak with a person immediately, but that area is not open on Sundays and there was no one that could help me. I bet if I wanted to start service or purchase additional items like movie channels, pay per views, etc.. someone would have happily done that for me.

I went to the Comcast billing office this morning to return my equipment and cancel my service, and upon telling the person what I wanted to do she did not seem to care or ask any questions, just accepted the items and gave me a return receipt.

Adios Comcast, it has been an unpleasant 6 months with their service. If I can be just 1 person who stands up to them and refuses to accept substandard levels of service, then hopefully I can inspire others to do the same thing.

Thanks again for all your help while I was trying to remedy my situation with Comcast. If i had not had The Consumerist, I would probably still be trying to figure out where my money is and just calling the general help line and never being able to get to the executive level, even though they were just as inept, at least I have it on the official record with them. Now let's just hope that check is actually in the mail to me.

One last piece of advice, Adam. Hang on to that receipt.

(Photo:mojojornjorn)

The good news is persistence on your end can cancel out incompetence on theirs.

I get my cable and Internet through Comcast, and called Saturday to see if they'd lower my bill if I threatened to cancel. The first rep I talked to said there was nothing he could do for me because I'd just finished a term on a promotional rate, and company policy dictates customers can only get special discounts every three months.

On a follow-up call immediately after, a different guy told me he'd cut my bill by $40 a month for six months.

No escalations, no supervisors, no new spiel from my end. Just two different dudes with two different answers. Either the first guy was a liar or Comcast has authorized its servicefolk to generate responses via Magic 8 Ball.

It sort of makes me wonder what would have happened had I let it ride and placed a third call. Maybe $60 off a month for a year and a free glow-in-the-dark frisbee?

For more tips on how to lower your phone, internet and cable bills, check out this post.

(Photo: O Pish Posh)

When [my roommate] called Comcast this week, they said there would be a $10 fee to change names. I apparently can only avoid this fee if he were to die. When he pressed the Comcast person on the phone, they told him that it was another department which is why they had the fee. I mean, it can't be more than 45 seconds of keystrokes to change my number and name from his.

They ended up giving us a credit of $10, which means we're paying them and then they're paying us. I'm sure this makes perfect sense on some planet, but not this one. I'd love to know how they justify this fee.

Maybe it's to keep people from switching the names on their account every month. People are just crazy enough to do stuff like that.

RELATED: Don't forget to vote in the Comcast vs. GM round of our Worst Company In America series.

(Photo: mojojornjorn)

He writes:

Let me give you some back story. I live in Houston Texas and we went through a hurricane back in September. It was absolute hell, we had to pay over $3,000 from our small salary for damage and were without electricity for 3 weeks. Comcast was awful throughout the ordeal, we scheduled appointments and I would miss work and guess what? They were no shows for the first 2 weeks. They finally came, fixed it, but guess how long it took, A MONTH. They didn't even reimburse us for the loss service, they told us they were going to but our bill never showed anything and we called for the reimbursement and they claimed we did have service.

So I just got my last bill and guess what? They had the audacity to charge us $25.00 for a PHONE CALL. We called and complained but they claim they will "try" to fix it, no promises....

Don't let Comcast push you around. Reach out to their resident Twitter-jockey and see if he can't promise to help secure your refund. If that doesn't work, take your complaint straight to the President's office.

Here is a brief excerpt. Theories are proposed, and theories are refuted.

Maryjo Bacolod > May I just ask as to what voice prompt you are getting
whenever trying to dial a 603 number?

Brad_ > "we're sorry. due to telephone company trouble, your call cannot be completed at
this time. Will you try your call again later?"
Brad_ > Toll calls work fine. I can call my voice mail box in Seattle, but not my neighbor

Maryjo Bacolod > Also, to better look into your concern, can you provide me a specific
number that you have tried to contact using your phone service with us?

Brad_ > (It's a free, quasipalindromic box... it's cool).
Brad_ > I tried calling my pharmacy — 437-8100. Tried placing a reorder for insulin and I can't get through
Brad_ > I fear for my life if we don't resolve this problem.

Maryjo Bacolod > I really apologize for this.
Maryjo Bacolod > We have already checked here on our end and everything seems
to be working fine with your phone service.
Maryjo Bacolod > There are no current outages.

Brad_ > Then what's the problem?

Maryjo Bacolod > The problem could be with the phone provider of the recepient you are trying to call

Brad_ > Why can't I dial locally?

Maryjo Bacolod > But let me also check here on my end. i would need a minute or two for this.
I'll try to contact the phone number you are trying to access/ call.

Brad_ > I tried calling my parents, my cell phone, my wife's cell phone, the pizza place, a girl I dated
in high school, and the animal shelter. All within 603. Same bloody telephone company problem
error message
Brad_ > It's a problem with the telephone company, you. Not the good folks I was trying to call.
Brad_ > I won't sit idly by while you besmirch the name of the pizza place and the animal shelter, good madam.

Maryjo Bacolod > Let me try to dial it on my end so we can verify.

Brad_ > Please.

Maryjo Bacolod > Would you allow me two minutes for that?
Maryjo Bacolod > Thanks

Brad_ > Take three, they're small.

Maryjo Bacolod > I will try to make a test call to this number you have provided.

Brad_ > Aaaaaaaand....?

Maryjo Bacolod > Sorry for the long wait.
Maryjo Bacolod > I tried dialing your pharmacy's phone number and we can access it here on our end.

Brad_ > No problem. I thought you didn't take your torch and got eaten by a grue.
Brad_ > Cool. So what's messed up between me and them?

Maryjo Bacolod > When do you get the error message. Is it after dialing all the numbers?
Maryjo Bacolod > Or does it prompt you after 4 numbers dialed.
Maryjo Bacolod > or after dialing 603?

Brad_ > I dial the full seven digits, wait about 10 seconds, and instead of the ring, I hear the faux-British lady telling me the telephone company is screwed up
Brad_ > I'm in 603, I don't need to dial it for local calls
Brad_ > I don't think the faux-British lady is even faux-British. Probably Welsh

Maryjo Bacolod > I see. As per advice of my supervisor, the 603 area code has to be included during the dialing process.
Maryjo Bacolod > Can you try doing it on your end?
Maryjo Bacolod > Just to see if it works.

Brad_ > Why would I suddenly have to start dialing 603?
Brad_ > Why wouldn't I have been notified so I wouldn't lose close to two hours of my
life on this issue?

Maryjo Bacolod > I apologize for that.

Brad_ > IT didn't work. I don't trust you or your supervisor

Eventually the CSR agrees to schedule a technician. This is Brad's second chat — after he never received a promised follow-up call.

New chat log:
user Brad_ has entered room
Brad>Need to schedule support, I suspect a faulty modem. Can receive inbound calls, can make long distance calls, cannot make local calls.

analyst Michael has entered room

Michael>Hello Brad_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Michael. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Michael>I will be happy to assist you with that.
Michael>Since your account protection is a priority to Comcast, I need to verify some information before I am able assist you. May I have the full name,and phone number the account is under. Thank you.

Brad_>Sure, Brad Gagne, number’s [redacted]

Michael>Thank you, One moment please, While I verify that information, and I will be back with you shortly.

Brad_>Cool.

Michael>What lights are on the phone modem, Please let me know which are steady and which are flashing.

Brad_>Battery light is blinking green, all others are steady green
Brad_>Thursday night reps Katrina and MaryJo line tested the heck out of our setup, reset the modem remotely, but ended up scratching their heads

Michael>Thank you, One moment Please.

Brad_>And a promised call to schedule service never came
Brad_>*** WARNING *** I’m getting frustrated

Michael>Thank you
Michael>I do understand, testing indecated that I will need tor reset your modem.

Brad_>… and the seventeenth time is any different from the previous 16?
Brad_>Do you have the chatlogs from before?

Michael>I can only hope if it doesn’t work I will schedule a Technician and tell them to bring a new modem.

Brad_>It won’t do a bit of good, but go ahead
Brad_>Work the script

Michael>Thank you for your understanding,

Brad_>IS there any record of the two hours that I’ve already spent on this on your end?

user Brad_ has left room
analyst Michael has left room

Brad_>It’s back up, all green with a blinking battery
Brad_>Seriously… I got dropped again?
Brad_>Hello?
Brad_>Good acoustics in here.
Brad_>Just a small town girl… living in a lone-ly worllllld
Brad_>She took a midnight train goin’ an-ny-wherrrrre…
Brad_>Just a city boy… born ‘n raised in South Detroiiiit…
Brad_>He took a midnight train goin’ an-ny-wherrrrre…
Brad_>I power cycled it myself when your reset brought me nothing but pain
Brad_>Can you hear me now? (Sorry, that’s the other guys)
Brad_>[Tap] [Tap] [Tap] Hello?
Brad_>Michael? You there buddy?
Brad_>Michael?
Brad_>Miiiiichael?
Brad_>You still there?

Michael>Analyst has closed chat and left the room

We wonder how many times a day this exact chat is held with Comcast. Hundreds? Thousands? Eventually Brad did get a technician scheduled, but it took yet another chat session. Next time, why not try the services of Comcast's Twitter team? Tell them the Consumerist sent ya.

Comcast Can Kiss My Ass [GDSOB]
Comcast Can Kiss My Ass Round 2 [GDSOB]
Comcast can Kiss My Ass Round 3 [GDSOB]
(Photo: mojojornjorn )

UPDATE: Brad got some Comcast technicians out to his house. They diagnosed his problem as a broken "9" button — although there is still some mystery to the issue. None of the numbers Brad was unable to call contained a "9".

As effective as we've found Frank to be, the story does highlight one of his faults, unintentional creepiness:

Noting the thunder and wind late on the night of June 11, richrecruiter, a Twitter user, wrote that he was “counting down to Comcast outage interrupting tonight’s Phillies game.” Mr. Eliason quickly replied with a brief “LOL,” short for “laugh out loud.”

Be careful what you say, Frank is listening... and we hope he's getting lots of overtime pay.

Griping Online? Comcast Hears and Talks Back [NYT]

After five weeks, 20 calls, a day off work and three visits that ended without any idea why Bayes couldn't get service, Comcast found the solution to this head-scratcher of a problem: The company hadn't run cable lines to Bayes's house.

...Bayes, a membership specialist for the National Rifle Association, said his problem began before the first service agent came to his home. The new-home specialist should have been able to tell Bayes there was no service to his new home from the first call, he said. None of the many other service representatives caught that error for weeks.

Comcast installed a line from the neighborhood hub to his home almost six weeks after his first call.

"We went above and beyond for him," [Spokeswoman Jenni Moyer] said.

But that wasn't enough for Bayes. Last week, he switched providers.

"Above and beyond?" Seriously?

Call the Cable Guy. Again. [Washington Post] (Thanks, Brian!)
(Photo: cmorran123 )

Reader Brad is fed up with junk mail from Comcast. He asked the company if it would be possible to be taken off the junk mail list to which Comcast replied, "We are unable to remove a non-active account from the mailing list. The reason being is, if or when you move out of this address, we would not be sending offers and possibly prevent the new owner from receiving a special offer," and that would be a crime against humanity, we suppose. Is there a way to get Comcast to stop sending junk mail? Brad's letter and our response, inside..

Dear Consumerist Editors and Readers,

I'd like to share my Comcastic experience with asking Comcast to stop sending me junk mail. I get more from them than any other source. They first told me it would be taken care of, but after some time of receiving more and more Comcast junk mail I called back, and they said, "No, we can't take you off our mailing list, (get this...) because you might move." !!!! (Documentation below)

A received no reply to my "feel-free-to-contact-us-if-you-have-any-more-questions" follow-up. I forwarded this Service Rep's email to Comcast's web persona, Mr. Frank Eliason. He seems very responsive in his twitter posts and in an interview I heard. But unfortunately, after about 10 days I have received no reply.

How can I stop receiving unwanted mail, if Comcast says, "We don't care what you don't want, we'll send it anyway in case you move"?

-Brad

Comcast's letter:====================

Hello Mr. Brad ********,

Holly was correct in stating we are unable to remove a non-active account from the mailing list.

The reason being is, if or when you move out of this address, we would not be sending offers and possibly prevent the new owner from receiving a special offer.

I hope this answers your inquiry. Please feel free to contact us if you have any more questions.

Thank you for choosing Comcast.

Sincerely,
Chenise
Comcast Customer Care

One approach to stop Comcast's junk mail is to submit a "prohibitory order against sender of pandering advertisement in the mails," also known as form 1500. This form was originally drafted to stop mail that customers found "erotically arousing or sexually provocative." Despite the non-sexual nature of Comcast's mail, this order can still be applied. Once this form is accepted by the USPS it would make any further junk mail a violation of this order. The major problem with this is that the USPS is notorious for not enforcing the orders, in which case you are back to square one.

Another avenue that might be worth investigating is Comcast's self-appointed go-to guy for unresolved issues. Scott Westerman, an area Vice President for Comcast, writes in his blog:

But at the base of it all is our desire to build great customer relationships, one at a time. That’s our common passion at Comcast.

If you have an unresolved issue, we want to hear about it. Our local teams are the first best resource. 1-800-Comcast will connect you with the office that serves your area. But if the chain of command isn’t working, you can directly connect with us, via email at we_can_help@cable.comcast.com or @comcastcares on twitter.

We’re listening.

Scott Westerman
Area Vice President - Comcast
scott.westerman@comcast.net
@comcastscott on Twitter

Additionally, our readers always have some tricks up their sleeves. What are some of your tricks for stopping junk mail?

(Photo: Getty)

The article says,

In Weatherly's case, he says he never kidnapped the technician and he never threatened him with his dog. He admits to being angry and dissatisfied.

"After you pay a monthly fee you expect some service," he said. "But why would I kidnap the cable guy? I was polite to him and told him to leave. The TV was under warranty."

Because it's a pending police matter, Comcast's policy is not to comment, said Terri Weldon, a spokeswoman. "We cooperated fully with the police, and the report should relate everything that happened," Weldon said.

When asked about disgruntled customers who spawned several opposing Web sites, Weldon said customer service is Comcast's top priority.

Weatherly's version of events differs from the affidavits. The technician arrived several days after he logged the complaint, Weatherly said. The Donelson retiree had complained that his new Sony TV had no picture.

Weatherly said the technician dismantled his surround sound system and didn't fix it. Unhappy with what happened, Weatherly said, he told him to leave it as it was because the TV was under warranty.

Comcast drives us insane too, but Mr. Weatherly, please get a grip. We hope everything goes well with your mental evaluation and you get your problems sorted out. If you are lonely in the meantime, we're sure you would have a lot in common with the smashem-up hammer-totin granny.

Cable man's alleged abductor ordered to get mental exam [The Tennessean] (Thanks to Econobiker!)
(Photo: Getty)

"I came home to find Comcast had put a green utility box smack-dab in the middle of my lawn. You couldn't miss it. My stomach just turned," said Cheryl Davison. It was an eyesore for Davison since her old equipment was buried in her yard and covered with a plastic lid. She got nowhere calling customer service so she decided to call the contractor who installed the box. The contractor gave her the number for Comcast's local network construction team and after 3 weeks got her box removed.

"No one is going to be happy to have the box in their yard, but Comcast could do a lot better with customer service and dealing with their customers," said resident Jim Chilton. Chilton returned home one day and found a box so close to his driveway he couldn't open his car door to help is 4-year-old son. He said, "It looked awful. The grass around the box disturbed and never replaced."

Chilton said he finally got a hold of someone at Comcast who promised to help him. He said, "Just trying to get a hold of someone to talk to is a total pain. They would not have done squat if I hadn't written their legal department."

Comcast's rival, AT&T, has also been getting in on the act by placing even larger boxes on residential properties. In both cases the companies say that the reason for the big boxes is that the new equipment runs hotter and therefore cannot be buried underground. "You don't want this sensitive network equipment to overheat," said Andrew Johnson, vice president of communications for Comcast.

Sorry Andrew, but if the above results are any indication, apparently you can put at least some of these equipment bundles underground. Although, doing the job right probably takes some extra time, effort and money which are all things you probably aren't used to spending on your customers.

Boxed in by Comcast [The Press Democrat] (Thanks to Joe!)
(Photo: The Press Democrat)

Hi consumerist, I'm writing in about your absolute favorite company. I wanted to be able to pay my new Comcast bill with a credit card, which means that I had to set up online access to my account. Well, Comcast, being the helpful company that they are thought it would be great to automatically change my preferences from receiving a paper bill to solely getting electronic statements. Well, I still wanted paper statements, just wanted to be able to pay my bill online. I figured changing back would be easy, but, as you guessed, it wasn't. When I went to Manage My Account, and tried to change "Delivery Method" to paper statements. Comcast redirected me to a site telling me that my choice would require talking to a CSR, and included a big orange button saying "chat now". I hit the button, and had the following hilarious interaction with a chat CSR. Turns out the only possible way to reinstate paper statements after Comcast automatically stopped them is to call Comcast. I've only been a customer a week, and they've already made me wish I picked DSL in my new apartment!

Lethel > Hello guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Lethel. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Lethel > It would be a pleasure assisting you today. How are you doing?

guest_ > hi- i would like to receive a paper bill, which automatically was replaced with e-statements when i signed up for online access to my account

Lethel > Can you please acknowledge that you are still at your computer?

guest_ > i am at my computer.

Lethel > Thank you.

Lethel > May I know your name, please.

guest_ > katherine *******

Lethel > Hi Katherine! Thank you for asking that. <

Lethel > May I ask how long have you been a Comcast customer.

guest_ > is this really all necessary just to reinstate a paper bill?

guest_ > less than a month

Lethel > I see.

Lethel > Katherine, I will ask your assistance to call us in 1-800-COMCAST to request for that.

guest_ > are you kidding? please explain why you can't reinstate this

Lethel > We will be more than glad to send you a paper bill as soon as you gave us a call.

guest_ > why is this not as simple as a chat session? please explain

Lethel > I can give you the breakdown here online but I can't send you a paper bill.

Lethel > You may need to request for it.

Lethel > May I have your account number, please.

Lethel > I do apologize for the inconvenience.

guest_ > i don't need one sent. just need my preferences changed so i receive them

Lethel > I will try to help you with that.

Lethel > May I have your account number, please.

guest_ > i am looking it up. one moment

Lethel > Sure.

guest_ > ******************

Lethel > Thank you very much for the information. May I ask for your complete address, too.

guest_ > ****************

guest_ > ***************

Lethel > Thank you.

Lethel > May you give me a sec to pull up your account.

Lethel > Thank you for patiently waiting. I will ask you to log in to www.comcast.com. You may click the link the "customer", then click "manage my account", and change your STATEMENT DELIVERY to "paper statement".

guest_ > it directed me to you

guest_ > said that i need to talk to a "csr" on chat.

Lethel > Let me try to do it for you.

Lethel > May you bear with me.

guest_ > thank you

Lethel > I do apologize but it require me to provide password.

Lethel > As much as I want to do it for you. But password is case sensitive.

guest_ > so there is no way for me to change my preference myself, and you can't do it unless i provide you my password.

Lethel > There is a way. I suggest that you may try logging in again and changed your preferences. If it still directed you to us in live chat support, I suggest that you may call us to request for it. That is the easiest way to changed your preferences in your account.

guest_ > well, this has been a waste of my time

Lethel > I do apologize for the inconvenience.

Lethel > I understand that your time is valuable.

guest_ > is there any place i can lodge a complaint for how highly inefficient this has been? it seems that comcast needs streamlining if something as simple as changing bill delivery options requires so much effort

Lethel > I am sorry to hear that. You can call us in 1-800-COMCAST. As much as I would like to help you but I am limited to our system here. And also, password is a case sensitive which
are not allowed to ask to our customer.

Lethel > The reason why I was suggesting earlier that you may call us in our customer hotline so that we can assist you right away with your concern. You have reached sales department.

Lethel > I can only place orders and provide information with our products.

Lethel > Is there anything else I can assist you with today, Katherine?

Lethel > Can you please acknowledge that you are still at your computer?

guest_ > there is not

Lethel > Thank you for your time. I hope you will give us a call and assist you with your concern.

Lethel > Thank you for choosing Comcast. We do appreciate your business. Please do not hesitate to chat with Comcast again at www.comcast.com. We are always available, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Lethel > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

(Photo: jorny)

Comcast writes:

We have reached out to this customer to attempt to directly resolve the issue. In an effort to provide the best possible service to all of our customers, Comcast maintains an Acceptable Use Policy (AUP), which is outlined in our user agreement. Generally speaking, 99.99% of our customers use the service as intended, which includes using it to download and share video, photos and other rich-media.

Customers who are notified of excessive usage typically consume more than 100 times the average national Comcast bandwidth usage. Illustrative examples of such usage on a monthly basis would include: sending or receiving 256,000 photos, downloading 30,000 songs, sending or receiving 13 million e-mails. In the rare instance that a customer violates this policy, Comcast proactively contacts the customer via phone to work with them and address the issue, or select a more appropriate Comcast product.

Comcast values the business of all of our high-speed Internet customers and we continuously strive to maintain the integrity of our network. We apologize for any miscommunication that this customer may have received about this process.

That's well and good, but fails to address:

• Why the warning about the possible disconnection was unclear in the first place
• Why Frank gets "banned" from Comcast service for a year
• Why even though he's banned, Comcast still sent him a bill for the new business account, which he can't use
• How you can advertise a service as unlimited, then have an asterisk that says oops, there's a limit to how much unlimited you can use

— BEN POPKEN

Previously: Comcast Customer Uses "Unlimited Service" Excessively, Gets Disconnected For A Year

Comcast asked Frank to cut back his unlimited internet usage. Frank was confused. He thought unlimited meant, well, unlimited. Frank was wrong. Very wrong.

Comcast replaced Frank's faulty cable modem in November. Frank's wife received a warning from Comcast in December. Their excessive internet required upgrading to a business account for an additional $10 per month. Maybe $20. The CSRs weren't clear. Frank decided something wasn't right and stopped trying to resolve the situation.

January 19, Frank tries to check his e-mail. No internet. No internet? NO INTERNET?! Frank's wife calls Comcast. There's a note in their account. They must contact Comcast's Ministry of Love Network Abuse and Policy Observance Department.

Comcast accused Frank of downloading 305GB in November and 297GB in December. It's Comcast's policy to suspend any account that exceeds usage limits twice in any year. Doesn't Comcast advertise unlimited use? What are the usage caps? Comcast representatives would only say "I'm sorry but I cannot divulge that information."

Frank escalated the call until reaching the omnipotent Geovanny. The dialogue from his conversations with Comcast, inside...

Me: Can I please speak with a manager. I would like to escalate this and find a resolution.
Geovanny: There is nobody available. I'm the only one in the department and my word is final.
Me: I thought Scott was also part of the "Policy and Abuse Department". So you have more than just one employee. I'd like to speak with whoever writes your checks.
Geovanny: It's just me here.
Me: Even the CEO of the company has to account to somebody such as the board of directors.
Geovanny: As far as you're concerned, I am the CEO
Me: I understood Brian Roberts was the CEO of Comcast? If a complaint was directed to him and the board they would need to take action in resolving this problem. We did not receive sufficient notification and your customer service was clueless to the problem with our account last month.
Geovanny: He would just bounce the complaint to me.
Me: I'm looking at the caller ID number. It says you are calling from 856-638-4000. Customer Service last month said I shouldn't see an 856 number if it was a legitimate call from Comcast to my state.
Geovanny: We're an up and coming department and don't go through the normal Comcast lines.
Me: So how do I know it's not some guy trying to gather information on me. Ever heard of identity theft??"
Geovanny: I don't know. You should have taken the call seriously however.
Me: "You have to be kidding me". People can spoof a caller ID phone number easily (I checked Google in December). So how can I take it seriously? I would have expected a letter or something.
Geovanny: We prefer to make a phone call to personalize the communication. Me: That being said, how come Customer Service didn't know of the problem with my account?
Geovanny: Customer Service doesn't have access to our database.
Me: Why the @#$@ not?
Geovanny: It's to protect our customer information
Me: Somehow I don't feel very protected. Your customer service has access to my name, phone number, address and other personal information when we signed up. Your organization has failed miserably. Don't you understand. I have no other options for internet without Comcast. Not even DSL is in the area? Had I known there was a problem I would certainly have taken action.
Geovanny: There is nothing to be done now.
Me: In my research I've learned that Cox Communications had the same problems as you guys and in 2003 they caved in to customers demanding they post the bandwidth/data caps... and it will happen with you guys sooner or later.

Ok. Comcast won't budge from its perch atop Mount Jerk. Dial-up is the only alternative, and let's not kid ourselves. Dial-up is as viable as biking across the Pacific.

Frank did what we would do: call Comcast and ask to sign up! He got an ambitious frontline CSR, Ryan, who tried to arrange a business account. But that note from the Network Abuse and Policy Observance Department was a deal-breaker. Frank, a Senior Systems Engineer with seventeen years of professional experience, even offered to build a separate linux firewall to guarantee his traffic wouldn't exceed usage limits, if only Comcast would say what they were. No dice.

Frank's wife got ahold of Sarah, head of Comcast's Ministry of Plenty Escalation Department. The February 1 conversation below:

Me- Hello
S- I'm looking for Frank or Elizabeth
Me- I'm Elizabeth
S- This is Sarah from Comcast ...
Me- Oh yes you called last night and I tried to call you back and left you a message.
S- I know, I had to leave early yesterday.
Me- Ok, So what's going on?
S- Well we aren't able to give you residential or business acct., but we can give you a commercial acct.
Me- What is that?
S- It would be a direct line for your own use connected to your house.
Me- Wow, how much would that be?
S- About $1700 to install and then about $1000 a month service fee.
Me- What the? Are you kidding me, we can't afford that!!
S- Well that is your only option.
Me- Why not the business account?
S- You use to much to be eligible for those accounts and since you have a business that uses so much broadband, you need to have your own direct line.
Me- We have a very! Small business and have had it for 3 + years and never had this kind of usage as has been the last few months. That is a ridiculous thing to suggest and doesn't make any sense. We have 6 children and a budget. This is outrageous and I can't believe you would even consider suggesting such a thing. Would you do it?
S- No, I don't need it and you have a business that apparently does use that much.
Me- Haven't you heard anything that we have been saying as to our ideas of why the usage was so high. Like the spyware that my husband found on his machine that was piggy backing and downloading through our line. Also it isn't a coincidence that the same month our modem was switched that the usage went through the roof. That would cause it if it wasn't capped.
S- We have never had that happen before. It was checked and it doesn't seem to be the problem and as to spyware you should be using an application to detect such things so you don't have those problems.
Me- He does have those and it still can happen and did, and as to the modem I don't believe you could have checked it, since it isn't running right now and it is too much of a coincidence to ignore.
S- What is done is done, we can't reverse it, but you can get the commercial line.
Me- No we aren't going to do that. There is no way we could afford that. You are basically leaving us without any real options and that is unacceptable. We don't have any other ways to get high speed internet and DSL isn't in our area. But that doesn't matter to you.
S- I understand how you feel but we can't do anything about it.
Me- I don't think you really do understand or you wouldn't be doing this to begin with.
S- I am sorry you are having this problem, but you ignored the warning.
Me- Are we back to that again. As far as I am concerned you all are responsible for our loosing the internet acct. If the customer service had actually confirmed to us that there was a problem we would have looked into it and tried to resolve it last month. We wouldn't have ignored it. We rely on internet a great deal. My husband needs it for work and we wouldn't have wanted to jeopardize that.
S- We are sorry that the customer service didn't deal with you properly and we are dealing with that. All the same you were called and you were given a direct number to call the abuse team directly.
Me- We tried with what we had and just got messages and so we tried to call customer service to help us. They told us it was probably a hoax and to ignore it. They should have had some kind of note logged in our acct. to confirm a problem. Based on what they told us, what were we to seriously think. Want to talk about confusing.
S- I can understand how you feel and they shouldn't have said that.
Me- It seems to me that you all should take responsibility for your part in this mess. Your customer service should have given correct information to us. As a result you should be dealing with the result and be apologizing and trying to rectify the problem.
S- I understand how you feel, but we can't do anything about it.
Me- You know thinking about it, when I did talk to the abuse team that they even had suggested a business acct. upgrade and based on what you are saying we wouldn't have been able to do that either.
S- They shouldn't have suggested that. Based on your usage the business acct. would have been to light for your use.
Me- So they gave us the wrong information too. So how can we be blamed for something you all are telling us. How are we supposed to know what to do?
S- Well you should have limited your usage for starters.
Me- We don't normally use that much. We have been with Comcast for about 4 years and have always been doing the same thing, nothing has changed and now we have excessive usage. I just don't see how that is possible. We need a residential or business acct. We will make sure we don't go over our limits, whatever those may be.
S- I understand your dilemma. But based on recent history, you would be back to square one and we can't take that chance of reversing the acct. and letting you back on to do the same thing again. You will have to wait til Jan 2008 to get reconnected.
Me- I don't think you are getting it. Aren't you caring at all about the predicament you have put us into? There is no way we can wait a year and you know it. That is nuts.
S- We apologize for your inconvenience, but you should have dealt with it.
Me- It seems to me we are just running this around in circles, not getting anywhere. So it doesn't matter our reasons and no matter what I say nothing will change your mind. Is that where we are at?
S- That is right, we can't help you at this time.
Me- (Looooooonnnnnnngggggg pause, trying to keep from crying). I finally say, well I guess there isn't anything left.
S- I'm sorry.
Me- I'm sure you will be. Bye
S- Thank you and have a nice day.
Me- (mumbling and rolling my eyes) yeah right.

No unlimited internet. No explanation. We'd be pissed, too.

In twelve months, Frank can submit an "application for reconnection." But only if he agrees to abide by Comcast's Terms of Service.

It's not as if Frank's relationship with Comcast is completely severed. Though he's still without precious service, the business account Ryan created just sent Frank the first, of what we expect will be many, bills. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

Comcast Broadband Dispute

Between the FCC ruling and the standardization, this opens the door for "a broad assortment of feature-rich, CableCard-ready video products they can buy at retail stores or online. They'll no longer be stuck with the cable provider's limited selection of rental equipment."

Problems with rental DVRs and set-top boxes are some of the most common complaints we get here at Consumerist. Here's hoping this helps. —MEGHANN MARCO

The stuff we saw at CES that you'll really want [Philly Daily News via Philly Will Do]