I also love their raison d'être:

Loudon came up with the idea for the VJ Movement while covering conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq. While talking with colleagues after long days of reporting in these war zones, Loudon realized two things: that many journalists could not do stories they wanted to do because editorial directors in far-off newsrooms believed other events were more important, and that when multiple journalists covered the same topic, they all ended up with entirely different stories. This is the basis of our concept, "There is more than one truth."

VJ Movement is in its early stages and who knows how successful it will be but it's a great idea. However, in order to register so that you can pitch, it costs $50 for a year's membership. That seems a pretty steep price for the right to send a reporter tips and leads. So if you want to give it a whirl, we've got a free 3-month trial login you can use, username and pass are consumerist.

VJ Movement

"Warning! Painful to watch!" [Oh Gizmo!]

Fortunately, someone contacted Chipotle to ask whether it's true that their food will cause rectal bleeding. Chipotle responded, "There is no truth to that claim." Whew!

Ghost Hunters, however, is still ridiculously stupid.

(Thanks to mybodystory!)

"Well It Turns Out That Microsoft Ad WAS A Porno" [Oh Gizmo!]

Original Monex ad:And here is the recording of the Kristen Wiig skit and its transcript:[Opens with rich lady in a elegant,upscale room.]

Monex Spokeperson: Is there anything more satisfying that owning gold and holding it in your hands? [Camera splits showing hands caressing gold coins. Stacks of gold coins in the background] What? You mean, you've never experienced it? Then call Monex now for this informative brochure and vhs tape that will show you how you can invest in gold. [Gold coins splash around on mountains of golden coins. 1-800-555-0199 Book and tape. Why gold? Why now?] Did you know that in the past 12 years the value of gold has gone up a little bit? [A bunch of gold coins weigh more than a stack of dollars in a balance] I love touching gold. I would never do this with mere paper money. [Lady caresses her face with a gold coin. Kisses it.] "Guold" I love it. There is no better time to invest in gold than right around the time that it is now. [Lady goes into a golden living room] Look around my living room. Every surface is covered in 100% real gold. [In a golden table a photo of Goldie Hawn, a goldfish in a bowl, the lady drinks a glass of orange juice] I'm not drinking gold. I wish. This is orange juice but the brand is Florida Gold. I guarantee you'll spend hours caressing your gold, [hands caressing gold coins] massaging your gold, [hands massaging gold coins] washing your face in "guold" [lady splashes gold coins in her face like water in slow motion] What time is it? Oh, I know. It's time for you to call Monex and invest in "guold". [1-800-555-0199. Coins splashing around] Call today and tomorrow you'll be enjoying your "guold", touching your "guold", golding your gold "guold" [Lady is ecstatic in a shower of gold coins] Well? Convinced? I think I made a really good case for "guold". Speaking of gold case. [Lady picks up golden briefcase] I'm late for work. I work for gold. Ohh, I better put this on. [Lady puts on a golden scarf] It's getting "gold" outside. [Monex logo, coins splash around] Monex. "Guold".

[Cheers and applause]

Transcript from snltranscripts.jt.org

Windows 7 is indeed launching soon, so we figured you'd want to see this now so you have time to stop by the Party Plus store and stock up on crepe paper—don't worry, you don't have to hang it up, just leave it on the corner of the table—and of course balloons.

Never install a new operating system without balloons.

We suspect that this promo was actually written, directed, and edited by a Songsmith-style software being developed in Microsoft's research division.

"Mainstream Press 'Cringes' At Win7 Launch Parties" [Slashdot]

Pizza Hut iPhone App [iTunes Store] (Thanks to Dirk!)

[via Lifehacker]

In their ever-expanding quest for new subject matter, Rhett and Link are asking people to nominate their favorite local business to win a free, customized commercial. To make a nomination, you can visit the website, where you can also view the businesses that have been nominated so far.

Rhett & Link will make your next local TV ad [Adfreak]

According to 9News, VisitDemark initially defended the stunt, calling it "a good and sweet story about a mature, responsible woman who lives in a free society and shoulders the responsibility of her actions."

There's that. But then there's also the message, "Come to Denmark, where you can impregnate beautiful women and disappear the next morning!" It's the Denmark-as-Vegas model, but "What happens here stays here" was already taken.

Naturally, there's already a parody video (and, actually, it's pretty funny).

Denmark sorry for 'one-night stand' hoax [9News via Brandfreak]

The advice ranges from sneaky (place your phone into roam mode to trick the cell phone company into thinking your contract is more trouble than it's worth) to the outrageous (move to a blackout area). Other hints include finding a friend to take over your plan and whining incessantly to customer service. Of course, there's also the ever-popular pastime of watching for materially adverse changes to your cellphone contract and using them as an excuse to rip up your service agreement. Watch and learn!

How to Get Out of Your Cell Phone Contract for Free [SpendLess TV, via Bargain Babe]
(Photo: FastFords)

Attention Digital has collected several YouTube videos of CEOs apologizing for one reason or another: Domino's Patrick Doyle, for the infamous snot-food video; Matel's Bob Eckert, for its run of toy safety violations, and the Maple Leaf Foods robot, for listeria in its products. The article missed it, YouTube also has a video apology from United Airlines' Jim Goodwin (oooo, I just want to take him home and rub his belly...)

Having all of these collected in one place is nice because it allows consumers to get a sense of apologizes as a genre. Apparently, bad lighting and monotone reading from a teleprompter are a plus. Of course, CEOs can always get help from this guy when they need it.

CEOs apologize on YouTube [Attention Digital] (Thanks to Johnny!)

Marketplace convened a "Small Town Hall" to find out, among other things, whether preteens thought they should have plastic. In the video, one of the girls succinctly explains how using cash can make paying for things more painful and tangible. These kids are smart! Are they the offspring of Marketplace staffers, I wonder? The group asks another girl, who is on the pro-kiddie-credit-card side, how she is going to pay her credit card bills. "Uh, holidays?" she responds, a sentiment that many a would-be debtor has shared, no doubt.

Small Town Hall [Marketplace]

"It's Not Like Your Dog Needs Dignity, Get Him The PooTrap And Never Touch Poopy Again" [Oh Gizmo!]

"Hotel Survival - with George Egg" [YouTube via whill]

Winkers have to be custom ordered, and the inventor has some notes about what sorts of clothing work:

...if the leg is too loose and hangs from the widest part of the buttocks the pants will not wink. Some dresses and lingerie will also wink. I do not have a satisfactory way to decorate lingerie though. Perhaps later. Taking all into consideration men's pants will wink also. Many slacks and overalls do not wink very well though, because they are too loose.

Winkers [via Dlisted]

"United Breaks Guitars: Song 2" [YouTube] (Thanks to Steve!)

Phishing Scams in Plain English [Common Craft] (Thanks to Angela!)

A Sky News hidden camera investigation finds computer techs snooping through and downloading to thumb drive private photo folders, and even trying to access an online banking account with the login information found on the laptop.

Remember folks, keep anything you wouldn't want a sleazeball finding on an external harddrive so if you computer ever goes in for repair, you're not also handing over your secret bits.

Also remember, when you've got a computer problem across the pond, don't take it in for repair AT THE SKETCHIEST-LOOKING COMPUTER SHOP IN WEST LONDON.

Computer Shops In Data Access Scam [Sky News] (Thanks to Michael!)

Unauthorized charges getting WoW accounts suspended [Ars Technica] (Thanks to Beta!) (Photo: juanpol)

Sarah Haskins in Target Women: Lady friends [infoMania]

Lelah writes:"Dear:

Mr. Ivan G. Seidenberg

Mr. Robert E. Ingalls Jr.

Mr. William Barr

As President of my own company, I have to say, this is the first time in my career that I have gone so far as to send a letter to the top of the food chain regarding the unbelievable service I have received from Verizon. Let me say that if I had this type of service in my company, I would have fired the lot of them and held my head in shame as their leader. Verizon has taken customer no-service to a whole new level. Allow me to share with you my story. I am sure you will be as appalled as I am once you read through the nightmare.

THE VERIZON MELTDOWN:

Saturday, May 30, 2009:

2 door to door salesman wearing Verizon shirts arrived at my door on the morning of Saturday, May 30, 2009. The main salesman, Vadim Kushnirov announced that he was with Verizon and wanted to discuss the possibility of switching my Comcast service to Verizon. The other young man was in training. I didn't get his name however he was very inquisitive. A regular Q & A session that was so out there I had to really question who the heck interviewed him for this job in the first place. "So are you still married, he asked?" "Boyfriend?" "Your daughter is cute, almost as cute as her Mom." "Why did you get a divorce?" "Do you still love him?" "Does he pay child support?" "What do you do for a living?" "Do you make lots of money?"….HUH?" Ok…a little weird. Most would have asked him to leave, however, past the questions, he seemed like a nice kid. After Vadim offered a better deal than Comcast, (so I thought), I decided to switch services. I asked both inside my home for iced tea while Vadim proceeded to contact an office somewhere in the Midwest to get the set up started. While he was in the process of arguing with a gal over her misunderstanding of what needed to be done to get the order in place, the intern went to the couch in my living room, picked up my guitar and started playing it…a little singing went along with it. By the end of the very long session I was ready to smash the guitar over his head just to make him stop. Rude and annoying. Over at the counter, Vadim, obviously frustrated with the new gal on the other end of the line, went through several people to try to get the service set up. When the new gal got back on the line, she repeated the order back to me. It was incorrect and we started the process over and over again. This entire order entry took over 3 hours. I was patient but extremely annoyed that my Saturday was now completely shot due to incompetent customer service. When the order was finally placed, I was told by Vadim that the service would be installed on Friday, June 12. 2009. He left me his number to call if I had questions or problems. (503) xxx-xxxx. I must say, of all of the people in this entire process, he is the only one that really had enough integrity to get anything done. He did his job well, however, most of what you are about to read was completely out of his control.

Between May 30 and June 8, 2009, 3 different contractors (that I knew of) showed up at my home, unannounced, without appointments and to my knowledge, began a pre-set up for the Fios.

Monday, June 8: At approximately 10AM, a gentleman contracted by Verizon showed up at my home, unannounced. without an appointment, and knocked at the door. As no one answered the door, he proceeded to begin a set-up function that was connected with the Fios install. I happened to be at home (prior to going to my work appointment) and noticed someone in the yard. After about 10 minutes, I went outside and asked him what he was doing. He said he was with Verizon and doing some pre-set up. I went back inside and was trying to answer a few emails on my computer. Suddenly, the internet access was unavailable. I figured it was temporary but proceeded to contact Comcast as I thought the problem might be with them. The phone was dead also. I went to the neighbors home where their Comcast service was working fine. I contacted Vadim and mentioned that I thought whoever was here from Verizon, must have knocked out the Comcast Service. He asked me to turn on the TV to see if it worked. It was down also. I told him that I needed the service back up immediately. We have several users in the house and having the service down was not an option. I cancelled my appointment and stayed home from work as I thought someone would be back to connect the service. No one called or showed up until 4:00PM in the afternoon. It was someone from Comcast checking the lines. They asked me when Verizon was at the house, I told them that morning. He proceeded to tell me that whoever was there, cut all of the Comcast lines, left wires lying everywhere exposed and I wanted Comcast to reconnect, I would be charged to reset everything and re-install the lines. He was unable to do anything that evening but said he could come back the next morning and start the re-install. I told him I would call Vadim to see if we could move up the install date with Verizon. That afternoon at 4:35PM, I received a call from someone named Kirt (503) xxx-xxxx who scheduled the installs for Verizon. He told me he would have the install team at my home at 8AM sharp the next morning. Someone over 18 had to be there and it would take about 5 hours. I agreed and took Tuesday, June 9 off from work.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009:

…9AM, 10AM, 11AM….I call Vadim… "What's up, I ask?" "Where's the Network?" He's on it…. I get a call about 3PM…they are coming in the next few hours, (my thought is hurry up and wait)!

5:18PM, another lost day at work, the first of the Network makes an entrance. He has no service order and being Union, can't get started until the order comes in. "What do you want done, he asks." I explain the 6 rooms of cable connections, 2 phone lines and 300 channels of digital. He seemed annoyed and less than impressed considering it is now 5:30PM, he hasn't eaten all day and he is now on overtime. The rest of the Network shows closer to 6PM, about 5-6 of them. Still no service orders from Verizon. They all beam in on me and start discussing charges I don't remember ever hearing about. (connections, installation charges, etc). I call Vadim again as I feel like I have a bunch of guys coming up with their own set of rules and charges…Vadim shows up armed with electronic leash, headset and already patched into headquarters…He's on it, making the adjustments while arguing 2 hours in my driveway about the install charges with the Network. On with the install! 9:35PM…. I am trying out the new Fios! Wow…this is super fast…only 45 seconds to get Google launched. Who would have thought you could go faster than dial up? (I am kidding…considering I had a perfectly good high speed connection with Comcast prior to this install)! I called in the roommate to show off the new system! She was as impressed as I was! We immediately called in the Network to praise the fine work that was less than acceptable! We were told it wasn't the Fios, the awesome no-speed was due to the computer having issues? Hummm, funny how it worked just fine when it was on Comcast prior to 10AM, and since I switched back to Comcast, we are back to full speed. I made a note on Brian's (the technician) paperwork that stated the internet was less than acceptable. He left, he was on overtime, never heard back! Dennis, the phone guy is going on 4+ hours of OT…phones are not cooperating…no dial tone. "Perhaps a little CPR would help, is it dead, I asked?" He's done…no dial tone, it's time to go home…did I mention no dial tone….???? "I'll be back at 8 in the morning to get the line working, said Dennis." I suppose if I needed to call 911 for any reason, the neighbors are just 3 minutes away! In the mean time, I was supposed to be enjoying my new phone service with jimmied lines and splitters everywhere! Nice!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009:

Wednesday morning I noticed the trampling of some of my outdoor plants…basically where the lines went through the property. Not happy. I took the day off from work as I had to be at home for the set up at 8AM. Still no phone service and no technician to fix the problem… it's 9am….going on 3:41 PM…no sign of life from the Network and still no dial tone. Phone wires are lying all around my den. I call Vadim again…Vad, this is now out of your control…I need a Supervisor to call me right away. WAITING! 7:15PM, I get a 3-way call from Vadim and a Supervisor in Tech Support named James, no last name, no phone number. James assured me that someone would be out at 8AM on Thursday to set up the phone lines and make sure everything else was working correctly. It seems to me we have already had the 8AM conversation 3 times now. I told him I was done. I no longer wanted the service, Verizon or any part of the Fios experience. I would contact Comcast and have them re-connect the service in the morning which would in fact, cost me another day off at work to deal with the mess Verizon created. I also didn't want them to install because apparently, Comcast still held the phone numbers that were to be transferred to Verizon. Officially, these numbers were not going to be released until Friday, the original install date. I would have had my service reinstalled right away as I was still paying for service with Comcast. After 17 minutes and 27 seconds of conversation and making sure everyone understood that I didn't want Verizon service, guess what happened on Thursday morning?

Thursday, June 11, 2009:

Thursday morning my phone lines were full speed…guess who connected? (Verizon…after I specifically told them not to connect). Not only were the lines connected, they all went to the same phone number and gave anyone who called a fax signal! How special! Half the time the dial tone didn't work, other times people calling in would get a message that said the line was not in working order. Working order???? Was it ever? Another day off from work to deal with the nightmare. I called Comcast. They said unfortunately since Verizon took control of the numbers, It would take up to 2 weeks to get the numbers back. I was livid. Now I had to wait until June 18 to get normal phone service back. I had been using a cell phone throughout the week to contact Verizon…on hold most of the time or shifted from person to person. No one at Verizon seems to be able to make a decision, no less fix anything.

Friday, June 12, 2009:

I spent most of the day trying to figure out how to get everything back on track. It didn't happen. The phone lines were still recovery after the surgical mess left on both the inside and outside of my home.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN:

Many Calls between: Friday, June 19, 2009- June 28th!

I called the 888 customer service line early in the morning to make certain my Verizon Service was cancelled. To cancel the service, the entire process took 57 minutes, 42 seconds (I have a timer). Let me engage you in the cancellation process. It begins with prompts that send you to new prompts, that offer additional choices that make absolutely no sense considering all you want to do is cancel service. I eventually got to someone named Karen in Damage and Claims, told her the whole story. This went on for about 8 minutes. Guess what, I was transferred, surprise…. Repeat conversation…see above! 9:10AM…new supervisor, no luck, another transfer! Now I have someone named Mamour over in Dallas, the supervisor's Manager. A few order numbers thrown at me ON9xxxxxx and ORDROxxxxx…what this means is beyond me? They are all convinced that insulting me with an offer of a $25 performance guarantee reimbursement should do the trick… WOW…I'm impressed! That's some offer! Please…. It cost me more to write you this letter! I asked Mamour what I should do with the equipment that Verizon still has at the house. He informed me I would have to take them to a drop off station for credit. Hummm…Verizon left it here, now I am expected to drive it somewhere to get credit? One thing I found very interesting, I was told to call 2 numbers to get the closest drop off location. Ok, here we go 800-209-4455 (We're sorry, we can not continue to process your call, please hang up and try again)! I gave #2 a try, 800-436-1300…It's the HOME SHOPPING NETWORK… Am I now on the hook to sell this stuff at a discount? Frustration sets in as I do not want another 57 minute phone conversation with a Verizon female computer voice recorder that actually has attitude built into the voice when you don't give her the answers she wants.

One day a gentleman named Adam Brooks showed up on my doorstep. I opened the door. He was with Verizon. He wanted to know if I was pleased with the install? Does Verizon not communicate? For a communications company, I am a bit surprised that no one there does! Back to the story, one more time. He makes notes and tells me someone will be calling me. Actually, Adam was a really nice guy and seemed to have compassion for the situation. I have to give him credit for being very professional and following through. (503) xxx-xxxx. He said he would have the contractor that installed the lines contact me. I got a call from the contractor a week later, however, it appears that the cut lines were caused by Verizon when they installed the boxes on the wall. The contractor came out and showed me where everything took place and where the problems occurred. The contractor gave me a check for $43 to compensate for damaged plants on the property. I was told that someone named Dan Ferguson would contact me from Consumer Relations with Verizon, however, I never received a phone call from him.

Well now that everything was cancelled, I was told there would be no charges! Oh look, on June 25th, I was sent a bill in the amount of $157.50. Swell! Here we go, more phone calls.

July 16, 2009: I still have a balance of 157.50 on my billing. I contact Verizon again to have the charges removed. I spoke with Chris I think (not sure, a little confusion, see July 22 notes) who after 15 minutes of repeating the story again so that I could be compensated, she informs me her computer is down (it happened the day before as well-seems to be the norm there…If I can't get working internet service from a company who provides and charges for it, why should their customer service have access to working internet)? Go Figure! She said she would call me back…never did.

On Tuesday , July 21, 2009, 9:50AM. I contacted Customer Service and was connected to someone by the name of Neil 888-xxx-xxxx. Nice guy and he seemed to have it together. He read his notes and said that I talked to Angela on Thursday, she sits close by so he will talk to her and get the scoop on the billing problem and call me back. Angela? Well ok Angela, Chris… I've been through so many people at this point, I guess it doesn't matter because no one there can make decisions that make sense anyway. I get a call from Chris…she very firmly advised me that she was right and I was wrong in a very righteous way repeating statements from her notes that she perceived to be things that I said (considering her computer went down and she had to re-construct the conversation, I suppose anything goes…She also informed me (very directly I might add) that she left a message on my voice mail stating that the charges were reversed. I suppose if I had a message on my voice mail it makes all the sense in the world for me to call customer service and find out why no one called me to inform me of a credit…If I knew I had one, would I be calling??? I really have nothing better to do with my time. I am told that as far as additional compensation I could receive the really great performance guarantee check of $25…seems everyone there has the magic check to hand out. (I lost 5 days at work and about 11 days of phone service along with trampled plants in my yard. Did I mention Comcast has to rerun all of the lines again and bury them due to the cutting of the cables)? Ok, so the $25 again is a slap in the face. Chris tells me her supervisor will give me a call…she can't give me his number but assures me he'll call…Waiting…I talked to Chris around 10AM… Matt the Supervisor calls me at 11AM. Matt is not willing to work with me…he too wants to offer the $25 slap in the face and says he can not accommodate my 5 days of work missed due to Verizon not showing up when scheduled…although it's a different compensation when I was expected to wait for contractors that didn't show up as scheduled. I explained to Matt that if I didn't show up for the appointment, I am sure that Verizon would charge me…or would that be Frontier Communications that is taking over Verizon in the NW? By the way, no one ever informed me that my service provider would be Frontier Communications…I found this out from one of the Comcast contractors.

Now let me throw out a few more one liners that were fascinating to me:

Matt: I asked him for a supervisor. He was quick to tell me she was unavailable (how did he know that without even taking a breath to ask her, does he man the Supervisor calendar)?

Matt: I asked him for the supervisor's name, Kim he replied. I asked for a last name…He refused to give me the last name, stating that for security reasons, he is not allowed to give out last names.

Matt: I asked for Kim's phone number, he stated she didn't have one! (I am becoming amused)!

Matt: He also told me Kim would not be able to give me any answers that were different from his… Why have a Supervisor if her subordinate can always make instant decisions and answer for her? Glad we cleared that one up!

Matt: I asked him where the corporate office was. He said St Petersburg FL

Matt: I asked for the Corporate phone number: Classic response, "They don't have one!"

I am seriously amused at this point!

My response: "Wow Matt, A communications company that provides phone service all over the country and they doesn't have a phone of their own?" "No wonder my phones never worked!" "They haven't figured out how to hook up the first one over at headquarters! "

Matt: "I can give you an address, you can write to them!" PO Box ya da ya da ya da! Thank you, so helpful.

Matt: I asked for a physical address, he wouldn't give me one.

Matt: I told him I wanted compensation for the 5 days I took off from work to accommodate Verizon's necessity for me to be home, although they didn't show up when promised. His response…The $25 performance guarantee. I told him I make no less than $65 an hour and that's what I expect as compensation….8 hrs x 5 days even though I have spend endless additional hours trying to get this mess straightened out. He told me that he can not just whip out a check. It's against Verizon guidelines. I asked him to send me a copy of the guidelines. He said he couldn't do that. He told me that it is against policy to compensate for work lost or send out a copy of the guidelines! I asked him for a copy of the policy… No, he can't do that either. He also told me, and I quote "It was against FCC rules." That's a new one!

Well…he told me he would have Kim call me sometime between noon and 5PM! Nice… I wasn't sure how that would be possible considering Kim didn't have a phone! Am I missing something here?

1:30: Kim leaves a voice mail…with no return phone number! She must have borrowed a phone from AT & T! She said she would call me sometime the next day! So, do I wait for the call? Maybe sometime between 8AM-5PM!

Wednesday, July 23: Kim calls the other phone number that I rarely answer at 11:30AM. She is not willing to offer more than $25. As I mentioned to Matt, if I was going to hear the same song and dance each time I hear from another Manager, then send me to someone else. I told Kim the same thing. At least she didn't make any decisions for the next Manager in line. That would be James. He is supposed to call me sometime between now and 5:00PM. Hurry up and wait some more. I get the call from James at 3:30PM. Amazingly, he is one of the few at Verizon that is allowed to have a phone. I guess security isn't an issue for him and going against Verizon policy is ok, because he did give me his last name (Hobson) and a phone number where he could be reached. 636-xxx-xxxx. I did ask for an employee ID#, but he said he couldn't offer that as it was an internal number and policy not to give it out. (Lots of policies)! Of course I was offered the usual $25. I think if they keep offering the $25 dollars, I suppose it would add up each time and eventually I could collect a lot of checks for $25 until I got the compensation I deserve. I let James know that $25 is not acceptable and, like Matt, asked him if he would work for $25 a week. Of course he said no. I asked him why than should I be any different? As you can imagine, we wasted another 20 minutes on the phone going nowhere. I did ask for the Corporate number. He put me on hold for at least 5 minutes and came back with a "We can't seem to find it." He informed me that someone would call me within 24 hours with the number.

Well, as you can see, it is now Friday, July 24 at 9:35AM. No phone call from anyone, at Verizon Corporate if there is such a thing!

July 23, 2009: I received a call from Wendy Allen…somewhere in Texas. She proclaimed to be the Manager of the entire building, as she put it. She said she was in control of Texas, California and some other state (not mine). Twice she repeated these states, Oregon was never included. I asked her why she was calling me as she was not in my state. She corrected herself at that point and told me she had the west coast. Of course, $25 was her best offer and not acceptable to me. I am now frustrated. I told her I would locate someone on my own that could make decisions. Wendy's offered her number at 972-xxx-xxxx. So, I guess the policy doesn't work here either cause I got both last name and phone number. Different rules for different schools!

Next step? I will continue my quest and just keep adding to my list of notes from May 30 and send this letter out to anyone who will listen. My next step (consumer advocates who are receiving a blind copy of this letter), the FCC, government officials (I am well connected), who may have more contacts than I do. Eventually someone will listen but I would like to see Verizon do the right thing and just compensate me for the 5 days I missed from work. They expected me to be here, I lived up to my end of the bargain. It will be interesting to see what happens next!"

CAN! CEL! YOUR! FACE!

"Bas Rutten's Cell Defense: The Contract Hold" [YouTube] (Thanks to Rob!)

Update: Transcript!
Thanks to our commenter Alexander Saites, here's a transcript of the video:

Hi, everybody. I'm Dave Carroll, and I'm coming to you from an undisclosed warehouse somewhere in Nova Scotia, Canada, and I would like to express my deep gratitude to everybody in the world who's been supporting United Song One the way you have, which is more than I ever could have hoped, especially after two days.

United has been in contact with me, and they have generously, but late, offered us compensation, and I'm grateful for that, but like I said before, I'm not looking for compensation. And if they would chose to give that money that they were thinking I might want to a charity of their choice, I'd be very happy to see that happen. I'd only ask that they'd share that news with us as to where that money went.

I'd also like to mention Ms. Irwig — she was mentioned in Song One, and through many of the posts I read, she may be being treated a little unfairly. And in my experience, she was a great employee, and unflappable, and acting in the interest of the United policies that she represented. So, I think she deserves a bit of a break, and one day, I hope to have a good laugh with her about [aboot] all this, because in Song Two, I feature my dealings with her a little bit better, in a very lighthearted way. So, stay tuned for Song Two, everybody. It's coming very, very soon. Thanks.

"United Breaks Guitars - A statement from Dave Carroll" [YouTube]

RELATED
"United Breaks Guitars"

Update 1: United apparently has seen the video (thanks to Chris!).

Update 2: Now that the "United Breaks Guitars" meme has blown up across the Internet, Dave Carroll has posted a video response addressing the airline's belated offer to repay him.

(Thanks to Melissa!)

Ivan Seidenberg [Charlie Rose]

My mom would like his advice.

RELATED
"Amish Build Miracle Fireplace Using Steam-Powered Adobe Photoshop"
"Consumer Reports Tests The Amish Heater"

There's some slight PG language, so if you work as a Curse Guard at a bible camp, do not watch.

Consumer Reports tested the ShamWow last month and found out (surprise!) it's not necessarily the super product Vince says it is. You can watch that video here—and there's absolutely no cursing involved.

TRANSCRIPT:

EXTERIOR: WHITE HOUSE GATES

BEN: Hey Ben Popken here with Meghann Marco, Consumerist.com, we're here at the White House—

MEG:—invited to the White House—

BEN:—to talk credit card reform with Austan Goolsbee, senior economic adviser to Obama. We asked for your questions about credit card reform and we brought them here, so we're gonna find out what's in store for the future of plastic in America.

INTERIOR: CONFERENCE ROOM

MEG: So, as you know, we here at Consumerist, we make our living explaining the perils of the credit card industry to consumers, so why are you guys trying to put us out of business by reforming the credit card industry?

AUSTAN: No no no, we're trying to help you, that's exactly, we've been listening to you for this long and it's clear as the President said, there's nothing wrong with a credit card industry where people can get access to credit, and people ought to pay their bills, but what we've gotten into is this situation where you've got some players engaging in clearly deceptive practices and predatory practices where consumers don't have full information about what they're getting themselves into, and where the industry's made more than $15 billion in penalty fee income last year. So what they've done is just turned what use to be fees for penalties into really a profit center. And we've got to get away from a model like that.

MEG: So we've got a question from Consumerist reader Jason. He wants to know, why can banks be allowed to change APR on existing balances? Shouldn't the new APR only be applied to the balances and purchases moving forward from the date of the change?

AUSTAN: Yes, Jason's totally right, that is one of the central elements in the Obama views, is that in a series of practices like changing the interest rate on money you already, loans you already took essentially, that it doesn't make any sense, that we oughta get rid of that.

BEN: Along those lines, James Robrahn asks, "How's it that the banks are getting billions in TARP funds and then they turn around and they're cutting off people's credit lines and raising interest rates in this time of crisis?" What's going to be done about that?

AUSTAN: When you're in a crisis mode, it's clear financial institutions are pulling in credit in all sorts of forms, that's why the financial rescue was needed, it's been a big effort of the administration, trying to get the lines of credit back flowing, to consumers, through credit cards, to small business, to a whole bunch of areas.

BEN: And what are some of those steps that are going to unlock credit for consumers?

AUSTAN: Well a lot of the steps to unlock credit are more macro in nature, as I said, it would be relatively difficult to go legislate, for the government to go figure out, here's a credit-worthy individual, you should go give them a loan, is much harder. So the things that they're doing is we've go the financial rescue in place, we've had a series of efforts where the government's trying to unlock consumer credit, student loan credit, automobile credit, small business credit, through the buying up of securitization, buying up various investments, which, they've tried to make it more appealing for people to get into that market. It has been met with some success, though we are certainly wanting to expand those markets now.

BEN: Up until now, basically, credit card companies have said, well we don't regulation, we just need more disclosure. So, this is a new change of tactics. So I'm kind of wondering, you know, why don't we take that up? why don't we go with disclosure and do it like they do in Canada and cigarettes? You buy a box of cigarettes in Canada and you have a picture of a dessicated lung on the box and it says you smoke these and you will die. So with credit cards, you put a picture of a family evicted from their foreclosed house and it can say, if you use this improperly, it will lead to your financial ruin? Why doesn't the administration push for something like that?

AUSTAN: Meghann, is he Canadian?

BEN: Clearly. I'm Clearly Canadian.

AUSTAN: The President totally agrees with the importance of disclosure, and disclosure and transparency. Which are related but not the same thing. I mean, I have a PhD in economics, I can't understand a lot what's in the contracts under your credit card, and my eyesight is not sufficient to even be able to read it a lot of the times. So, the President's program is based on plain language, and reasonable disclosure. So disclosure plus transparency's important... I don't think that's all the President's fully on board with that's all let's do. I think he thinks we need that, but in addition, there are certain practices, that, even with disclosure, they're relatively hard to explain, and the credit card companies have engaged in gaming the system so that they just need to be prohibited. So, setting your payment date to be on a Sunday, so that you literally can't pay on the payment date, it either has to come in early or else it's late and you get a penalty fee. Or setting the payment time to be noon, so even if it comes in but it came in in the afternoon oohp! You had a late fee, you add another 15 dollars. So there are a series of practices, be it the form of penalty fees, raising interest on loans you already took out, a variety of other things that the President thinks we need to do more than just disclosure and transparency.

MEG: Is this bill gonna stop those guys who give away the free t-shirts in college? Because, as you know, college students are frequently shirtless, and they this resource. So how is that going to affect college students?

AUSTAN: The issue of students, and not just students, young people of all types and access to credit is a very vexed issue, as we all know. On one hand, there are a lot of people who are really… credit constrained when they're young, and they would like to have access to borrow money, and don't want to be forced into borrowing from even worse sources of credit. At the same time, the credit card companies it's clear have engaged in some pretty over the line practices. At the least, we need to start by agreeing that there ought to be sensible underwriting standards for young people. You know, there are a series of things that are alleged, like credit card companies making gratuity payments to the leaders of universities in order to get them to sign them up as the only credit card company. There are a variety of things we ought to look into, because I think it's a pretty serious problem if you got people coming out of school, usually already in heavily indebted situations, just as the nature of having to pay their tuition. They got access to credit and they can do deceptive practices and be put in a very bad situation that it takes them years to really recover from.

BEN: Some are arguing that if we increase regulation, the current card companies are going to have to decrease the amount of credit that's available to be giving out to people, which with the case of kids it sounds like that's probably a good thing. But also for those who have credit, it may make it more expensive for them. Is there a concern that with this regulation, it might push people, if they can't get access to credit, they could be pushed to other things like payday loans, overdrafting their checking account, loan sharks?

AUSTAN: We do want to make sure that people have access to credit, and they aren't being pushed to loan sharks, and they aren't being pushed to pawn brokers or something that's even worse than what's happening on credit cards. That said, you hear from, you know, American Bankers Association or other industry spokespeople the argument that "well, if we can't charge you the 15 billion dollars of penalty fees, then we're gonna have to charge you the money some other way, and you don't want us to have to charge you some other way." Look, the credit card companies have made huge profits in recent years, and a lot of those profits have come from deceptive practices. And they shouldn't be doing those practices. And if we're going to choose between two models, one in which they say, "these are our true fees, and these are our true interest rates, here is what you actually will pay," and alternative B is they say, "You're not gonna have to pay anything, and you sign up for it, and then you start getting bills, and you have no idea what the heck is that? Between those two, the first one is by far the better system, and I really don't think that we have to choose between honesty and a viable business. I think it's just not true. And we've kinda gotten into this scenario where they say, "This is a carjacking! Well, you know, if you didn't want to be carjacked, you didn't need to take your car, you don't need to be driving, and you should've locked your windows and, you know, made them bulletproof." That kind of logic pushes you the wrong way. I mean the loans of credit cards are by far the most riddled with these kind of criticisms, and complaints to the Better Business Bureau and to Consumerist and wherever, they're much more so than other forms of consumer credit, small business credit.

MEG: Ok, this is a question from reader Johnathan. He wants to know, "Why are credit card terms the only contract I can find that are subject to unilateral dictation of changes in terms?

AUSTAN: The credit card companies reserve the right to change the terms. Uh - there are other contracts that have that feature. There are certain things in credit cards which are even more questionable. Like they reserve the right to change the interest rate on loans you already took out. So when you make a purchase, you have a balance, something happens, your rate goes up, they apply it to stuff you already bought. This is a very iffy type of a contract. Similarly, the print is barely readable, the language is not in English, it's in kind of "Bank-o-nese," which you really need a law degree—you probably need more than a law degree. Most lawyers can't even read it. And it gives them the right to administer fees of their choosing, for behaviors of their choosing, and the argument that they give in response when they you get the fee and complain is, "Well if you don't like it you should have read the contract." Or, "You should go find a new credit card." Those two explanations are deeply not satisfying. That's why two central themes in the President's plan are: it's got to be in plain language, and then a second focus of the President's plan is prohibiting certain practices, which are just over the line, like, changing interest rates on balances you already incurred, and things like that.

BEN: That feature struck me in particular because when the bankers defend it they say that they're repricing risk, but as far as I understand, a risk is something that could happen in the future. But if it's already happened, then where's the risk and why are they repricing for it?

AUSTAN: You know, the thing is, getting in the insurance business of insuring things that didn't happen, is a great business. Because it just means you pay us. And that is the situation a lot of credit card companies are in. "Well, you know, we have to be compensated for the risks," but this is already debt, they already took it out! You had a deal at a certain interest rate, and they're going back and changing it. In addition, there are certain practices, that even with disclosure they're very hard to explain. And the view from the Federal Reserve, as well as Congress, as well as the President has been, we gotta address those. So, as an example, if you've got two different kinds of debt, some has a high interest rate and some has a low interest rate. The credit card companies have, and you make a payment, the credit card companies will apply your payment automatically to the low-interest rate one. Leaving you the debt of the high-interest one so they get more money off of you. You can explain, what the Federal Reserve found, is you can explain this to people, but a lot of people still don't quite get what you're saying, so it's far better, it's a far better idea to simply require them to pay down the highest [interest] one first.

BEN: All these different practices you've been describing, it sounds like we're talking about a game where it's rigged for the house from the outset, and the rules are always changing, and you can never know them, and with credit being so important for consumers, and consumer spending driving 70% of the economy, how did we let it get this bad in the first place?

AUSTAN: It's not there's something wrong with credit cards. There's a perfectly viable business that consumers can benefit from, that the banks can profit from... all the President is saying is let's be completely above-board, transparent, and honest with what we're doing, and not engage in certain kinds of practices that are really preying on the lack of knowledge and the lack of understanding on the part of the consumer. Penalty fees to discourage a certain kind of behavior, everyone understands that. Penalty fees where we design it so you can't get out of paying the penalty as a way we're going to use just to make money... now I think we've gone into a space where we don't want to be.

MEG: We have a reader question about going over the limit, which is a big fee that everyone is really upset with. The reader asks, "Credit cards allow you to go over the limit and chare you fees for doing that rather than having a clerk reject your credit card for being over the limit. Isn't there a way to opt out of these services? And shouldn't there be a simple way to do so?"

AUSTAN: It's another one of these tricks is that your credit limit is $10,205. Now, you better remember how much you've spent for the whole month because when you get to that, it doesn't reject it. They just send you a fee that says, "Oh, you wen't over your limit! You didn't know, but you went over it." So the President has said, well we ought to do, for example, is have an opt-out box you can check that says "If I get to my credit limit, reject my thing when I try to buy it!" "No no no, you can't buy it, you're over your limit." This is again one of those "Is it reasonable to expect people to know exactly where they are relative to their limit? And when the limits are changing around unilaterally anyway, strikes me, again, as preying on the lack of information on the part of the customer.

BEN: A lot of our readers are interested in these mandatory binding arbitration clauses, and these class-action waivers. Is Obama concerned about that? And are we going to do anything about them? Because that's another case where we're stripping consumers of their power. Credit card companies are basically afraid to get into a real court with a consumer.

AUSTAN: The thought of thousands upon thousands of people having to go to court to sue to deal with various credit card problems, because you could see that being unappealing, you can see a role for arbitration. On the other hand, a lot of accusations that these mandatory arbitrations are with firms who are representing themselves to the credit card companies as, they are doing double-duty as debt-collection agencies, as well as mandatory arbitration... if you're a consumer going to mandatory arbitration with a firm whose job it is to collect money from consumers, to give back to banks, that strikes me as a difficult situation. It's not an obvious thing. If you ban mandatory arbitration, you will end up with thousands more lawsuits, and that's not obviously in the consumer's interest, but on the other hand I think we do gotta be mindful of some of these abuses.

BEN: Right, another one of those, what seems to be an abuse, or at least definitely a conflict of interest, I don't recall the specific study but they found that basically the arbitrators that were returning judgements in favor of the credit card companies most often got the most business. Will there be space maybe, because obviously what we have isn't working and chucking it is probably not a good idea either, could we see a mandatory arbitration reform bill down the line?

AUSTAN: That's an interesting idea, I was going to say, maybe this is due for a Consumerist expose of this stuff. I don't know which of those is true, I mean, I'm not a lawyer, we'd need to really get the credit lawyers in, to look at this, but I have seen these allegations that you're speaking of, of mandatory arbitration, of the firms selling themselves to the bank as "We never give the customer anything, hire us as your abitrator!" That seems problematic. If that's actually what's happening, it seems like something's ripe for reform.

BEN: I saved our best, our hardest, question for last. And I don't want any wiggling. I want a straight answer out of you Goolsbee. What credit card does Obama use?

AUSTAN: What card he uses... does the President get to use a credit card?

BEN: I don't know, does he have to give that up along with his Blackberry?

AUSTAN: Yeah, he might.

BEN: Well, thank you very much, Mr. Goolsbee, for speaking with us.

AUSTAN: My pleasure. Anytime.

BEN: We learned a lot about credit card reform, what's in store, what new protections are gonna be added, what we're looking for to get this credit card game and make it a little fairer for consumers. Ben Popken, Meghann Marco, Consumerist.com, thanks.

(Photo, Video: Brian Goldstein)

One victim tried to file a police report and was told to go to landlord-tenant court, which won't really work, since the guy isn't a real landlord.

My sympathy is mitigated by the fact that he's going around saying that they're able to steal gas and electricity from the city. Sometimes, fraudsters prey on people's greed and need, acting like they're going to help you perpetuate the scam you wish you knew how to pull off, making some victims complicit in their own deception.

Fake Landlord Scam [Fox NY]
Video: Homeboy Hookup Rips Off Craigslist Renters [Gothamist]

Newmark said reviewing stuff online "was like voting" and called it "patriotic" ; Sklar said consumers and reporters using online tipsters should "Trust, but verify" ; Sullivan said that we shouldn't let our guard drop just because we have a more populist President so "keep asking hard questions" ; I noted how companies had "figured out the rules of engagement a long time ago" and use them against journalists to kill stories.

PREVIOUSLY: Consumerist/Consumer Reports Panel/Party Went Well

Operation Repo [TruTV]

MEG: We have a reader question about going over the limit, which is a big fee that everyone is really upset with. The reader asks, "Credit cards allow you to go over the limit and chare you fees for doing that rather than having a clerk reject your credit card for being over the limit. Isn't there a way to opt out of these services? And shouldn't there be a simple way to do so?"

AUSTUN: It's another one of these tricks is that your credit limit is $10,205. Now, you better remember how much you've spent for the whole month because when you get to that, it doesn't reject it. They just send you a fee that says, "Oh, you wen't over your limit! You didn't know, but you went over it." So the President has said, well we ought to do, for example, is have an opt-out box you can check that says "If I get to my credit limit, reject my thing when I try to buy it!" "No no no, you can't buy it, you're over your limit." This is again one of those "Is it reasonable to expect people to know exactly where they are relative to their limit? And when the limits are changing around unilaterally anyway, strikes me, again, as preying on the lack of information on the part of the customer.

BEN: A lot of our readers are interested in these mandatory binding arbitration clauses, and these class-action waivers. Is Obama concerned about that? And are we going to do anything about them? Because that's another case where we're stripping consumers of their power. Credit card companies are basically afraid to get into a real court with a consumer.

AUSTUN: The thought of thousands upon thousands of people having to go to court to sue to deal with various credit card problems, because you could see that being unappealing, you can see a role for arbitration. On the other hand, a lot of accusations that these mandatory arbitrations are with firms who are representing themselves to the credit card companies as, they are doing double-duty as debt-collection agencies, as well as mandatory arbitration... if you're a consumer going to mandatory arbitration with a firm whose job it is to collect money from consumers, to give back to banks, that strikes me as a difficult situation. It's not an obvious thing. If you ban mandatory arbitration, you will end up with thousands more lawsuits, and that's not obviously in the consumer's interest, but on the other hand I think we do gotta be mindful of some of these abuses.

BEN: Right, another one of those, what seems to be an abuse, or at least definitely a conflict of interest, I don't recall the specific study but they found that basically the arbitrators that were returning judgements in favor of the credit card companies most often got the most business. Will there be space maybe, because obviously what we have isn't working and chucking it is probably not a good idea either, could we see a mandatory arbitration reform bill down the line?

AUSTUN: That's an interesting idea, I was going to say, maybe this is due for a Consumerist expose of this stuff. I don't know which of those is true, I mean, I'm not a lawyer, we'd need to really get the credit lawyers in, to look at this, but I have seen these allegations that you're speaking of, of mandatory arbitration, of the firms selling themselves to the bank as "We never give the customer anything, hire us as your abitrator!" That seems problematic. If that's actually what's happening, it seems like something's ripe for reform.

BEN: I saved our best, our hardest, question for last. And I don't want any wiggling. I want a straight answer out of you Goolsbee. What credit card does Obama use?

AUSTUN: What card he uses... does the President get to use a credit card?

BEN: I don't know, does he have to give that up along with his Blackberry?

AUSTUN: Yeah, he might.

BEN: Well, thank you very much, Mr. Goolsbee, for speaking with us.

AUSTUN: My pleasure. Anytime.

BEN: We learned a lot about credit card reform, what's in store, what new protections are gonna be added, what we're looking for to get this credit card game and make it a little fairer for consumers. Ben Popken, Meghann Marco, Consumerist.com, thanks.

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