I've been approached by a friend to join up with MonaVie acai juice—it's a "superfood" juice that's sold through "network marketing." I actually do like the product, and this is a friend I trust, but my alarm bells are still going off. I don't want to get sucked into a scam, obviously. There's nothing about this company on your site, so I thought I'd drop you a line and see if you had any advice.

Here's our advice: don't do it! When you look at the business details and filter out the friend-of-a-friend stories, it's not worth the hassle.

MonaVie—a concoction of acai and other fruit juices, and sold in wine bottles for $40 a pop—is the latest in a long line of mysterious and exotic cure-alls, and no, no you should not "sell" it. We use quotation marks because the majority of distributors are their own primary customers, according to Newsweek's Tony Dokoupil. The juice is loaded with good things and is certainly not unhealthy for you. But before you decide to shell out $40 on a bottle, or help your friend reach his or her sales quota by becoming another member in the company's multi-level-marketing (MLM) business model—funny, when you chart that model, it looks like a pyramid!—you should find out more about how the sales look from the top, and what's actually been verified about its health benefits.

Dokoupil points out that those people reportedly making millions of dollars in sales commissions are members near the very top of the pyramid.

Most of the million-strong sales team is really just drinking the juice, according to MonaVie's 2007 income disclosure statement, a federally required printout of their distributor earnings. More than 90 percent were considered "wholesale customers," whose earnings are mostly discounts on sales to themselves. Fewer than 1 percent qualified for commissions and of those, only 10 percent made more than $100 a week. And the dropout rate, while not disclosed by MonaVie, is around 70 percent, according to a top recruiter.

So that's the reality from a profit perspective. As far as health benefits go, most of the claims about its ability to cure cancer, eczema, general pain, anxiety, autism, and a case of the stupids, is gossip and hearsay. (In fact, it may cause a case of the stupids, we're guessing.) Newsweek points out that because unsalaried MonaVie salespeople are out making the ridiculous health claims and not the company, MonaVie stays within FDA guidelines, and doesn't have to worry about backing up such claims.

Wikipedia cites a few nutritional studies that place acai berries somewhere in the mid-to-high range on antioxidant protection. It's definitely a great fruit, and if you can find an affordable source of acai berries, go for it.

But even if acai berries were filled with God's own tears, it turns out that a $40 bottle of MonaVie isn't 100% acai juice, and the company won't disclose the ratio of acai to its other ingredients. In fact, their product page presents an amazingly content-free but fancy description that avoids any real details:

While the açai berry serves as the foundation for each of MonaVie’s vital formulas, with literally thousands of phytonutrients and antioxidants found in nature’s fresh fruits, MonaVie didn’t want to focus on just one at the expense of others. This led to MonaVie’s scientists and product development team selecting additional fruits whose synergistic union would reach far beyond what any single fruit could accomplish. These specially selected fruits have been exclusively combined to create MonaVie’s premier balanced blends.

In other words, "Just trust us!"

We think instead of lining the pockets of MonaVie's savvy head promoters, you should just shop around for 100% pure acai products, which will be much cheaper. Or just keep eating a variety of cheaper fruits, buy a decent $12 bottle of red wine, and lay off the health food fads altogether.

"MonaVie Acai Juice: Cure-All or Marketing Scheme?" [Newsweek]

Under the terms of a preliminary settlement agreement, [Timberland and e-commerce company GSI] will pay $7 million into a cash fund to reimburse those who received the messages, according to KamberEdelson LLC, one of the law firms that helped bring the suit.

To sign up for your slice of the $7 million pie—pending court approval—visit www.timberlandtextsettlement.com and register as a claimant. You have to register by Feburary 2nd, 2009.

"Timberland pays out to settle text spam lawsuit" [InfoWorld via IntoMobile]

1. Executive Customer Service - How to get routed to a high-ranking exec's secretary who will pass you off to the secret elite customer service squadron. They need to be able solve any and all problems, lest you persist in escalating and interrupt someone's golf game or steak dinner. Get Started.

2. EECB (Executive Email Carpet Bomb) - Sending a email blast to as many high-ranking execs as you can. The trick is figuring out the corporate email address format and combining it with publicly posted lists of company execs. Get Started.

3. Small Claims Court - For just a few hours work and under $50, you can get a judge to make a company give you what you're owed. Get Started.

4. Chargeback - Pay with a credit card and if you don't end up getting the goods or services you ordered, you can reverse the charge and not have to pay for it. Get Started.

(Photo: Getty)

The two companies jointly sought an injunction to stop Tyson's ad campaign, arguing the "raised without antibiotics" claim misleads consumers by making it appear Tyson's chicken is safer or more healthful.

Sanderson and Perdue initially based their legal challenge on Tyson's practice of feeding chickens ionophores, an antibiotic used only in animals raised for food. Sanderson and Perdue also use ionophores.

Then during trial in federal court in Baltimore, Tyson officials acknowledged they also inject eggs several days before they hatch with antibiotics that are approved for use in humans. Dave Hogberg, Tyson's senior vice president for consumer products, said it is a common industry practice.

Hogberg said injecting eggs with antibiotics did not undermine the "raised without antibiotic" label because the term "raised" is understood to cover the period that begins with hatching.

According to Tyson's "Core Values," they are a bunch of well-meaning folks "engaged in the production of food, seeking to pursue truth and integrity." After the USDA initially cried foul over Tyson's health claims, the pursuit of truth led Tyson to instead boast that their chickens are "raised without antibiotics that impact antibiotic resistance in humans.” At the time, Tyson said:

“We once again turned to consumers for their guidance and they told us this label more clearly conveys our chickens are not raised with any feed ingredients that could contribute to antibiotic resistance in humans,” said Dave Hogberg, senior vice president of Consumer Products Marketing for Tyson Foods. “The new labeling enables us to continue producing Raised Without Antibiotics chicken, which nine out of ten consumers say is important to them.”

Wow, that statement is just leaking with truth and integrity. Who ever would have guessed a federal court would brand Tyson as dishonest?

Court Orders Tyson to Suspend Ads For Antibiotic-Free Chicken [Washington Post]
Court says Tyson chicken antibiotic claims must stop [BarfBlog]
Tyson to Use New Label for Raised Without Antibiotics Chicken; Company and USDA agree to more informative wording (Press Release) [Tyson Foods]

So. I've been dealing with UPS in several forms, now, for nearly six months on the same issue. Long story short: I paid them $600 to break, steal, and then give away my computer.

I was shipping it to England in early October 2007, as I was expecting to move there, and it turned out I got a customs exception that made it cheaper to ship my computer than to buy a comparable system in England (especially with the dollar-to-pound exchange rate tanking). Fine, right? So I packed it up, insured it, and shipped it out from the UPS Store in Woburn, MA the day before my flight left (total: $300 or so). For a lot of other reasons (is there a "disgruntleduniversitystudentist.com"?) I ended up needing to cancel the trip while the computer was stuck in customs limbo, awaiting several forms that I needed to fill out to get my exception. So, I talked to the customs people, and they said there would be no problem with simply returning the shipment to the sender. I told UPS to do so, and they agreed, provided I pay for return shipping (another $300).

So after some problems with the tracking info, it finally gets delivered. I'm happy - until I get home and see it. One corner is completely crushed. It's OK though: my power supply broke the fall. So the computer is now heavily dented, and refuses to start. I called and filed a claim, thinking that it was pretty cut-and-dried, especially as I had taken that handy-dandy insurance. Right?

Not so much. First, I'm later told that I committed a major faux pas by filing my own claim, rather than going through the UPS Store, as apparently he is the actual shipper, and in charge of such claims. Fine. I call the UPS store, who quickly take my number and promise to call back. A bit later, they do so - but with the most unexpected greeting of "Hold a on sec, bro, lemme finish chewing." The person calling me back, who turned out to be the owner of the franchise, set up the claim, all while berating me for doing it wrong (because heaven forbid I should want to be involved in getting my money back) and calling me bro, dude, etc. It is, by this point, November. My claim should be done processing in 4-6 weeks. Fine. I ship out the package for inspection, and I wait.

It is now December, nearing Christmas, and my list is populated by sad games that will not be played, and peripherals which will see no connections for some time yet. I call the UPS store again. They claim that I had refused to give them the package and so no work was done. Despite the fact that this was not true (he was apparently misreading the readout - I had been unavailable on their first scheduled pickup attempt, so the package stayed inside, but shipped out the next day). They also need information on the original price, so they can evaluate it. Note that this is a custom-built, two-year-old system - I don't exactly have the receipt handy. The UPS Store owner advises me to find a similar-looking product around the same price. I do so. He says that my claim will be processed in 4-6 weeks. He also mentions that he has my computer in his store, already inspected, so if it's refused, I can get it back ASAP.

Now, it's January, nearly four months into the debacle. There has still been no decision on whether or not I can get my money for the computer. I have written off the computer as a loss, and begun building another one from scratch. I assume that I will be receiving nothing from the insurance, and at this point really just want the computer itself back, just to see if there's any viable hardware left that could save me some money. I call the UPS store, and they inform me that my claim was denied. Well, fine. Return it to my address, then. They say that they can't, as the main UPS office has it. What? You had it in December, and now it's gone? They claim that they never had it in December. Of course, the main UPS office claims they don't have it, either, but interestingly they claim it was returned to someone named Ken in New York. Apparently, that was the name listed as the original shipper when they started the return-to-sender process in England. How? I have no idea. I know no one named Ken, much less one from NYC.

Needless to say, I ship FedEx now.

(Photo: zyphbear)

From the law firm's press release:

Apple told consumers that both the 20-inch and 24-inch iMacs displayed "millions of colors at all resolutions." Indeed, the new 24-inch iMacs display 16,777,216 colors on 8-bit, in-plane switching (IPS) screens, as did the previous generation of 20-inch iMacs. But the new 20-inch iMac monitors do not even come close, displaying 98% fewer colors (262,144).
 
While Apple describes the display of both the 24-inch and 20-inch iMacs as though they were interchangeable, the monitors in each are of radically different technology. The 20-inch iMacs feature 6-bit twisted nematic film (TN) LCD screens, the least expensive of its type.
 
The 20-inch iMac's TN screens have a narrower viewing angle, less color depth, less color accuracy and are more susceptible to washout across the screen.
 
Apple's Web site tells consumers that "No matter what you like to do on your computer — watch movies, edit photos, play games, even just view a screen saver — it's going to look stunning on an iMac."
 
In fact, the inferior technology of the 20-inch iMac is particularly ill-suited to editing photographs because of the display's limited color potential and the distorting effect of the color simulation processes.

The lawsuit claims Dannon has spent "far more than $100 million" to convey deceptive messages to U.S. consumers while charging 30 percent more that other yogurt products.

The lawsuit also cited scientific reports showing, counter to Dannon's advertising, that there was no conclusive evidence that the bacteria prevented illness or was beneficial to healthy adults—and that Dannon knew this.

It seeks reimbursement for all U.S. purchasers of Activia, Activia Lite and DanActive, and demands that Dannon engage in "a corrective advertising campaign."

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"Food Frauds: Special K Fruit & Yogurt And DanActive "Immunity" Drink"
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From Jake's blog:

I wasn't happy about this... I was rather upset! I approached the TSA guard who dropped my laptop and I asked him what he was thinking. He didn't even apologize to me. Then I asked him how we could resolve this matter. And he told me that there were too many people waiting to get through the line, and I should move along as not to hold up the screening process. So I asked him again, where can I file a claim to resolve the damage done to my laptop. That's when the supervising TSA guard walked over and told me that I should gather my belongings and move on to the departure terminals and if I create a scene, he would arrest me.

So what am I left to do??? I gathered my belongings, surveyed the damage, and went on to the departure terminals. When I arrived at my terminal, I approached the information counter and ask them what I could do in my situation. They told me I needed to go back to the TSA security checkpoint and talk to the supervising guard that's standing in the middle of the checkpoint. I told the info lady that he was the one who threatened to arrest me, and that going back would surely result in me missing my flight. She then proceeded to tell me that there weren't any other options in my case.

I waited a few minutes so I could eat some breakfast (and cool down), and I vented to my dad on my phone. After venting, I approached the check-in attendant and asked her for the PIT TSA phone number. She asked me what I needed it for, and I told her my situation — she was impressed that I was calm after what had happened — she said she probably would have flipped out and gotten arrested. The TSA phone number she gave me which turned out not to be any good, so I'm left to do some research.

In this day and age of our corrupt law enforcement officers who's into tasing anyone and anything at any chance they get — I think I did the right thing by not raging and creating a scene; which would have caused me to get arrested.

Here are some instructions on how to do it. The TSA says:

Once TSA has received a sufficient claim, you will be sent a letter of acknowledgement and a control number. Please recognize that there is often a 3-week delay for mail sent to Federal facilities due to screening requirements. Claims that are faxed will receive a quicker response. Either way, TSA will attempt to resolve your claim as quickly as possible (often within 90 days), however we may require up to six (6) months to fully investigate your claim before we can make a recommendation to approve, deny, or offer a settlement. After six (6) months, you have the right to file suit in U.S. Federal District Court. Small Claims Courts have no jurisdiction over Federal Tort claims. Please refer to the Federal Torts Claim Act for more information.

To file a complaint about the agent who threatened you with arrest rather than give you this (rather basic) information, contact the "Claims Management Office Customer Service Manager." Call the Contact Center at (866) 289-9673 or email the office at tsaclaimsoffice@dhs.gov. We're sure they'd love to hear about it. Accidents happen and the TSA has a claims process in place to deal with it. That guy was a total jerk.

TSA Damage Report (w/ photos) [Jake Rhymes With Cake]

(Photo:Jake)

"XYZ Airlines lost my f**cking luggage. F*ck. Sh*t. They won't call me back or listen to me. I hate them. I miss my shoes, my camera, my ren. fair costume, my dog, my saxophone, my collection of rare Hummels, my great aunt suzy's diamonds, my lizard... (No, seriously. The lizard and the ren. fair costume are real complaints. Airlines will lose, steal or mistreat anything.)

I hate XYZ airlines. What can I do to make them find my luggage?"

Let's assume that if you're writing to us your luggage has been missing for a long time. Ok. It's gone. We're sorry. Next time don't check bags through Philadelphia. Here's what to do when you've given up all hope:

• Accept the fact that you're going to need to fill out another claim form with the airline. You probably already did this when your bag failed to greet you at your destination. Sorry. It's time to fill out a second form. If you took more than one airline, the last airline you traveled on should be responsible for your baggage. Get a claim form from them.
• Make an itemized list of all your lost stuff. The airline is going to compensate you for the depreciated value of your stuff rather than its replacement value. Use this tidbit of information however you see fit, but do understand that airlines will reject a claim that they suspect is fraudulent.
• Expect to negotiate. The airline doesn't want to pay you. They may ask for receipts or other proof of the value of your crap.
• Here's the fun part. There are limits to how much compensation you are entitled to. In the US, the limit is $3,000. For international flights there's something called the Montreal Convention that establishes the limit. This limit is currently 1,000 SDR. The value of SDR (Special Drawing Rights) changes daily. You can check out its current value by visiting the International Monetary Fund's website.
• Once you've got all of that settled, you'll want to register your complaint with the Department of Transportation. Complaints sent to the DOT end up in that Air Travel Consumer Report that media people just love to use to embarrass the airlines.
• After all is said and done, if you're in the neighborhood, check out the Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Alabama. This is where most of the lost baggage eventually ends up. Perhaps you can buy your stuff back.

  (Photo:saramarie)

  File A Complaint With The DOT

It's done by capturing data about speed, braking and steering input from what is called an event data recorder. And it's going to get even more complex — already there are systems on some cars that warn when there's a vehicle in a car's blind spot, as well as anti-collision warning systems like the one currently featured in a Volvo commercial.

In a lawsuit, an attorney could make much of data that showed, for example, that a car had warned the driver of a stalled car ahead and the driver did nothing to avoid it.

Car's onboard data system could haunt you [Bankrate]
(Photo: Nictalopen)

Andrew submitted his warranty claim over 18 months ago. On December 11, Apple denied his claim because his
"proof of purchase does not specifically identify the transaction as one for an ipod." When he calls the claims phone number, it simply says, "the time for claims has passed."

Before we go any further, here's the cutting to the chase: We advise Andrew call Apple Investor Relations at (408) 974-3123. Tell them you own Apple shares and pitch them your story. Maybe they will help you out. If not, you could always relieve your stress by putting your defunct player in a blender.

A pic of Andrew's denied claim and more of his story, inside...

When Andrew called Apple customer service, they said they have nothing to do with class action suits or dealing with claims. Apple told him to call the claim number. The number that when you call it, simply has a recording saying, "the time for claims has passed."

Somehow "iPod 10GB MP3 Player for Mac and Windows" doesn't describe an iPod well enough. — BEN POPKEN

If you don't have time to call John Grisham and ask him to write a bad legal thriller about you, you might want to brush up on these strategies for appealing a denial of care judgment.

• Follow the companies procedure for referrals and appeals. Understand your coverage! This will save a lot of time and pain.

• Appeal through your plan. Companies may have different procedures for different kinds of appeals. Learn the rules and stick to them.

• If you're not satisfied with the internal appeal process, get an external review. External review programs vary by state to state, so learn the rules in your neck of the woods. Good luck with your gastric bypass.

[Consumer Reports]
[KFF.org]