Mall Santa Accused Of Groping Elf Co-Worker Due In Court Christmas Eve

Mall Santa Accused Of Groping Elf Co-Worker Due In Court Christmas Eve

In a story that seems to be ripped from the North Pole’s headlines, a mall Santa Claus has been ordered to stay away from his place of seasonal employment after allegations that he groped a coworker over the weekend. According to some reports, it appears that the 18-year-old woman he’s accused of harassing was playing an elf. [More]

Kmart Has Customers Jangling Over Men Jingling Their Junk In New Ad For Joe Boxer

Kmart Has Customers Jangling Over Men Jingling Their Junk In New Ad For Joe Boxer

Another day, another ad that could be seen as either clever or so suggestive that social media is roaring over the indecency of it all and how could you put that on TV, etc. This time it’s Kmart’s turn to face the Internet firing squad over an ad that features men jingling their junk like so many melodious bells in Joe Boxer shorts. [More]

Walmart’s Nightmare Before Christmas: Cereal Edition

Walmart’s Nightmare Before Christmas: Cereal Edition

In practical terms, there isn’t much of a difference between one sugar-coated breakfast grain product and another. There’s even less of a difference between Cap’n Crunch products for different holidays. Somehow, though, we still find this combined cereal display spotted at Walmart just as amusing as an honest-to-Santa Halloween tree. [More]

City Turns Out To Decorate For Christmas Early So Boy With Cancer Can Enjoy The Holiday

City Turns Out To Decorate For Christmas Early So Boy With Cancer Can Enjoy The Holiday

Usually here at Consumerist HQ we’re totally anti-Christmas Creep — we rant and rave about Halloween and Thanksgiving getting ignored just so stores can break out the holly as early as possible. But when it’s an entire town turning out to decorate to make sure that a 13-year-old boy with cancer gets to celebrate the holiday, well, that’s an entirely different matter. [More]

We Will Pretend These Nightmares Before Christmas Are Intentional

We Will Pretend These Nightmares Before Christmas Are Intentional

Maybe this “Nightmare Before Christmas” holiday mashup thing is becoming more popular in retail decor. It’s starting to grow on us, we have to admit. Maybe this should continue to be a thing, like Hobby Lobby’s Halloween trees. [More]

It's waiting. (TMQ.st.louis)

Only 125 Days Left To Shop For The Holidays, So Of Course Retailers Are Already Debuting Deals

Santa Claus is probably still curled up in his summer hibernation like the great snowy northern bear I imagine him to be in the warm months, yet the 125 days left before the holidays hit is but a tiny blip in time for retailers. Which means of course it’s time to start rolling out those winter-time deals lest shoppers think there are none to be had. Or will be none to be had? In any case, it’s deal time already, folks. [More]

Eww.

Walmart Sold Us A High Chair Covered With Food And Mold As New

Part of the delight of Christmas morning is opening up fresh, shiny, untouched gifts. Our new stuff gets wrapped in colorful paper outside of the boxes and layers of protective plastic by the Asian teenagers who made them for us. Jan’s great-grandson is still a baby, so he probably didn’t care one way or the other about the condition of his gifts, but the grown-up family members did. The high chair they bought him had been used. Used a lot. And it was covered with food and mold. It should be their baby who has the privilege of throwing spaghetti on his high chair, not someone else’s. [More]

(amcdaniel83)

Stealing Presents & Then Regifting Them: Christmas, You’re Doing It Wrong

We know, holiday shopping can be the worst. But that doesn’t mean you can take certain shortcuts like lifting presents from someone else who’s already put in the effort to buy them. Cops say a Chicago man stole not only unopened presents but also credit cards, and then took the time to wrap the presents in new paper and put them under his own Christmas tree.

[More]

(Adam A. Koch)

Pizza Hut Gives Gift Cards To First 100 People To Tweet Photos Of Their Lame Christmas Presents

From ill-fitting ugly sweaters to that 50 States Coin Collecting Starter Kit, there are almost limitless options for what can count as a “lame” Christmas gift. The one thing they all have in common is you don’t want’em, and they’re a waste of space. But how about pizza? Do you want some pizza, would that ease the sting of disappointment? Pizza Hut thinks so, and is offering people gift cards to lessen the dissatisfaction that can occur in recipients of awful gifts. [More]

(epicharmus)

‘It Really Is A Business': Why Taking Your Own Santa Visit Pictures Makes You A Cheap Jerk

Last week, we ran a post with advice for families bringing kids to visit Santa, written by a former mall Santa who got the job despite being skinny, thirtyish, and Jewish. He explained how to keep your children from melting down on Santa’s lap. One former elf, who we’ll call “Holly,” took offense at one of that particular Santa’s tips for saving money, and wrote in to explain how things worked at the mall where she served as “elf,” or manager of the Santa set. The main thing she wants our readers to know: if you don’t buy any photos and insist on only taking your own, you’re a Grinchy jerk who is figuratively yanking money out of every employee’s pockets. [More]

Seamus would like to leave now, pls.

In The Arms Of The Enemy: 24 Photos Of Kids Who Really, Really Don’t Like Santa Claus

What began with one friend’s photo of a child terrified of Santa Claus has burgeoned into the final gallery of 24 photos submitted by you, our game Consumerist readers. Whether you had one child or two, tears or outright hissy fits, we’d like to thank you for bringing a dash of humor to the whole situation and for being willing to contribute to our bit of holiday fun. Better luck next year perhaps? [More]

That's gotta smart.

The Doctor Is In: The Real Life Implications Of The Burglars’ Injuries in ‘Home Alone’

There’s a certain suspension of disbelief one needs in order to enjoy almost any Hollywood movie, and perhaps none more so than the holiday classic Home Alone. The plot in a nutshell: Kevin McCallister (Macauley Culkin) gets left behind when his family leaves town for Christmas, enjoys himself to the fullest and then has to protect the house from burglars Harry and Marv played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. To do so, he employs a bunch of DIY torture devices and seems to inflict a lot of pain on the Wet Bandits. But come on, how could those guys have handled the pain from even one of those injuries? [More]

(pixeljones)

Kmart Overcharged Me For Layaway Order, Then Their Servers Ate It

Caroline’s Kmart layaway order was wrong. After she placed the order online, the contract came back $92 more than it was supposed to be. Well, okay, no problem: she could just call up Kmart and straighten it out. That’s why stores have a huge customer service staff. Except for how she called up Kmart and they told her to direct her problems to her local store. For an online layaway order. She’s been struggling with Kmart for a month now. The staff at her local store have been extremely helpful, but that doesn’t solve her core problem: she’s been overcharged for an order that still hasn’t shipped after being paid in full. [More]

(333 (only half evil))

McDonald’s Asks Franchisees To Celebrate Christmas By Staying Open On Dec. 25

In an attempt to continue bouncing back from an almost unheard-of dip in sales during October, the folks at McDonald’s have asked franchisees to not close down during the holidays this year. [More]

(bclinesmith)

Toys ‘R’ Us Either Restores Canceled Order Or Screws It Up Again

Some good news out of Toys ‘R’ Us: after a seeming fit of disorganization, randomly canceled orders, and no information getting out to customers, we’re getting reports that maybe–just maybe–things are getting straightened out over at Big Giraffe. [More]

Sears Loses A Nexus 7 Sale, Misses The Point

Sears Loses A Nexus 7 Sale, Misses The Point

Bill has been a loyal Sears customer for most of his life. They happen to sell the Nexus 7 tablet, which he wanted to get for his wife for Christmas (hope she doesn’t read Consumerist) for a competitive price, and he could get Shop Your Way rewards points. Score! He ordered up the tablet online, then headed over to the store to pick it up. Then things started to go terribly wrong. [More]

Toys R Us Stalls On Bike Assembly, Sells Us Scuffed-Up One, Shrugs

Toys R Us Stalls On Bike Assembly, Sells Us Scuffed-Up One, Shrugs

Matt and his wife are wonderfully generous people who buy great gifts for the families they adopt at Christmas. They bought a bike at Toys R Us for one of the families they adopted. They paid the ten bucks to have it assembled. “We’ll call you when it’s ready!” the store employees told them, all helpful and stuff. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and that was the last time anyone at Toys R Us was helpful to Matt or his wife for several weeks. Apparently TRU actually doesn’t make calls to customers, and it was Matt or Mrs. Matt’s job to return to the store without being called, or the bike would disappear into the ether. [More]

(YouTube)

Mall Santas Beware: Combining Beards With Rappelling Probably Won’t End Well

While Santa Claus ain’t Santa Claus without that flowing white beard, that snowy expanse isn’t the best-suited facial hair for rappelling from a mall ceiling. A mall Santa in England found that out the tangled up way when he attempted to lower himself down a rope to cheering crowds, only to get stuck when his beard snagged on the rope. Chimneys are probably way easier to maneuver. Ho ho ho. [More]