Almond Joy Is In Denial About Its Almond Usage

Almond Joy Is In Denial About Its Almond Usage

We’ll admit that it would look a little sad to advertise a single lonely almond on the wrapper of the .6 oz Almond Joy. But printing “Coconut & Almonds” on the front, including an illustration of two almonds next to the text, and then referencing “almonds” in the ingredients list, looks a little misleading when you open the package and see one lonely nut lump on your candy. (Thanks to James!)

Meg: pun INTENDED

The Justice Department is investigating price fixing in the chocolate industry. Mars, Nestle, and Cadbury were contacted after a preliminary analysis showed that the 100 Grand bar actually cost far less than advertised. [Slashfood]

Whole Foods has expanded last week’s recall of 365 Organic Everyday Value Chocolate Bars to include all 8 varieties, and expanded the Best If Used By date window to any date prior to 11/08/09, because of possible undeclared milk and tree nuts. [FDA]

Whole Foods is recalling its 365 Organic Everyday Value™ Swiss Milk Chocolate Bars with Rice Crisps, 3-ounce size, with a Best If Used By date of 11/21/07, because the batch may contain undeclared hazelnuts, walnuts, and pecans. [FDA]

Kraft is recalling 23,000 cases of Baker’s Premium White Chocolate Baking Squares after FDA testing “detected the presence of salmonella in some 6-oz. packages.” So far no illnesses have been reported, so if you’re the opportunistic con-artist type, you’ve got a shot at being first-to-media on this one. [Reuters

Portion Control And Snack Replacements Pervade Annual Candy Trade Show

Portion Control And Snack Replacements Pervade Annual Candy Trade Show

Green tea Hershey’s Kisses, diabetic-friendly sprays that taste like ice cream, chewy Lemonheads and Atomic Fireballs: the candy industry’s All Candy Expo was held in Chicago earlier this month, and over 2,000 new products were revealed, many of which reflect consumers’ current fondness for low-calorie snacks, portion control, and energy-boosting products.

Vosges makes a chocolate bar with actual bacon in it, while a mom & pop company offers powdered peanut butter that you can add to anything you like (and has 75% less fat than regular peanut butter). [Washington Post]

Mars Breaks Rank, Promises Consumers It Will Keep Using Real Chocolate

Mars Breaks Rank, Promises Consumers It Will Keep Using Real Chocolate

On Monday, Mars Snackfoods US—makers of “pokin’ at you pokin’ at you” Snickers bars, M&Ms, and other popular office meal replacement systems—announced that it would not seek FDA permission to replace its cocoa butter with cheaper vegetable oil, which is what the rest of the industry is lobbying for. Okay, first of all, yech, just… vegetable oil? But second of all, yay for Mars for drawing a line somewhere on poor product quality.

Top 5 Dark Chocolate Bars

Top 5 Dark Chocolate Bars

We already know that dark chocolate is good for you. Now, thanks to the “trained panelists” (what are they, monkeys?) at Consumer Reports, we have a list of their picks of the best dark chocolate bars on the market. Their #1 pick is a bit surprising: Cacao Reserve by Hershey’s Extra Dark. Really? Hershey’s?

Eating Dark Chocolate Every Day Is Good For Your Heart

Eating Dark Chocolate Every Day Is Good For Your Heart

Attention dark chocolate fans: Eating a little bit of dark chocolate every day is good for your heart, according to new research.

NPR's Bittersweet Guide To Chocolate, Yum!

NPR's Bittersweet Guide To Chocolate, Yum!

After gorging on the good (and not-so-good) stuff, NPR’s stuffed staff reached some decisions about the best — and worst — Valentine’s Day online-orderable gifts to give this holiday season.

The Best? NPR liked quite a few, the most interesting sounding being:

Noka Chocolate Is A Scam

Noka Chocolate Is A Scam

Noka chocolate is sold for $2000 a pound, but it’s actually crappy chocolate bought from another company and repackaged in a half-abandoned strip mall in Plano, Texas.

$8 Chocolate Bar Treats Acne, Ugly

$8 Chocolate Bar Treats Acne, Ugly

Chocolate’s miraculous medicinal properties continue to justify the sweet cocoa bean’s direct correlation with depression and suicide: although it may extend the cellulite rotundity of your posterior, at least chocolate won’t put squirting pimples on your fat ass. Or at least Borba’s new “Chocolate Clarifying Bar” won’t.

Chocolate Makes Us More Mensa

Chocolate Makes Us More Mensa

When we reported that squirting the fudgy nourishment from the chocolate teat into your mouth by the gallon counter-intuitively , many of our readers, cramming a last 100 Grand Bar in between their cavity-laced teeth, immediately defenestrated themselves. This led to a marked plunge in our readership, so much so that we were commanded from on high to find something good and quasi-scientific to say about our pal the cocoa bean.

If Loving Chocolate’s Wrong, I Don’t Want My Girlfriend to Be Right

If Loving Chocolate’s Wrong, I Don’t Want My Girlfriend to Be Right

Chocolate Makes You More Depressed

Chocolate Makes You More Depressed

From the ‘Morning Bummer’ department, I have an unfortunate cousin who is trapped in that infinitely recursive cycle of eating that happens when you eat because you are depressed and you are depressed because you’re fat. Weighing upwards of four bills, the woman will often come home from work, climb into bed and eat two full bags of Doublestuffed Oreos while watching television in a gloomy bedroom. She’s this really great, vivacious, knee-slapping personality, making it all even sadder that she could easily be featured as the mascot of Fat Chicks in Party Hats.

Morning Deals Round Up

• Friday sales! J&R! Staples! Amazon! And because we love you: 50% off Godiva Chocolates. Remember us when the endorphins flow.