Fortunately, someone contacted Chipotle to ask whether it's true that their food will cause rectal bleeding. Chipotle responded, "There is no truth to that claim." Whew!

Ghost Hunters, however, is still ridiculously stupid.

(Thanks to mybodystory!)

The deal was, if you bought a burrito the day before Tax Day, they'd give you a Burrito EZ form which could be traded for a free burrito on Tax Day. They stopped doing this last year, apparently.

Phil Villarreal, friend of the blog, is still not over it:

I called around the four Southern Arizona locations and discovered that Chipotle is no longer giving out free burritos to salve our wounds on Tax Day. Worse, every employee I talked to said they'd never heard of the promotion. And still worse, three out of the four said they couldn't say for sure whether the free burritos would be back in action for Halloween.

"We don't know anything until the marketing department tells us," a woman at the East University location told me. "Halloween is a long, long time away."

Amen, sister. Halloween has never, ever felt farther away.

How cruel. At least there's still Halloween... where dressing up as a burrito will get you a free one. (Shown above). Look how happy the burrito looks... eating his burrito. That sounds grosser than it is.

OK, now we're in a depression [Philmguy]
(Photo:dallas.com)

The survey included fast food and chain restaurants (like pizza places, and other casual eateries) and ranked the results by the highest percentage of "excellent" ratings.

Top 10 Chains in Customer Satisfaction:

1. In-N-Out Burger, Irvine, Calif., 60%

2. Raising Cane’s, Baton Rouge, La., 59%

3. Giordano’s Pizza, Chicago, 56%

4. Chick-fil-A, Atlanta, 55%

5. Panera Bread, St. Louis, 54%

6. Chipotle, Denver, 52%

7. Pei Wei, Scottsdale, Ariz., 51%

8. Firehouse Subs, Jacksonville, Fla., 51%

9. Taco Tote, El Paso, Texas, 50%

10. Qdoba, Wheat Ridge, Colo., 49%

For more about the study, check out the WSJ Independent Street blog.

In-N-Out Burger vs. McDonald’s: Guess Who Won? [WSJ]
(Photo:hellochris)

There's apparently such a huge demand for this service that it broke the application.

From TechCrunch:

As it turns out, the company decided to pull the application after a few hours because of unexpected demand that was overloading its servers. User requests were timing out with enough frequency that the team decided it would rather hold off until it could offer a more enjoyable and reliable experience. The current goal is to have it back on the App Store in two weeks, along with some cosmetic changes (many of the user reviews that were left while the app was still available had some complaints regarding the user experience).

If you already downloaded it, the application will continue to work — but the rest of you will just have to wait until they figure out how to deal with the demand for hi-tech burrito ordering.

We wonder if this says more about people's desire to use their phones to order food in new and different ways — or is it really just a commentary on how interminable a lunch-time line at Chipotle can be.

The Case Of The Missing Burrito [WaPo]
(Photo:tubbynj)

Hello,

So, I went to the Chipotle around the corner from my house yesterday to find that it was closed. As I stepped out of my car, some lady asked if I was headed to Chipotle and told me that it was closed today due to "operational issues." She gave me a card for a free burrito and sent me on my way. Later that day, my roommate told me he saw Health Inspectors in there the day before snapping photos of the workers and the establishment.

Today, I come to find out it was closed because it had suffered a Hepatitis A outbreak. 6 people have contracted the disease between March 1 and April 22 with the only thing connecting them is the fact that they ate at this particular La Mesa location.

I have also eaten there many, many times and now I have to go get checked to make sure I Chipotle didn't give me Hepatitis A.

Just thought I'd let you guys know.

Here is a link with more information: http://foodpoisoning.pritzkerlaw.com/archives/hepatitis-a-6-people-with-hepatitis-a-ate-at-chipotle-in-la-mesa-california.html

Hope to find out more information on this, please help.

Thanks.

(photo:tubbynj)

Gregg writes:

Writing to let you know about a great experience I had on Halloween evening at Chipotle restaurant on Kirkwood Ave. in Bloomington, IN.

I live in Atlanta and was traveling through Bloomington Ind. on Halloween and decided to get a burrito at Chipotle, near the IU campus. Upon walking in, I noticed dozens of college students with tin foil on various parts of their bodies...tin foil masks, hoods, hats, wrist bands, arm bands, tube tops, pants, etc. Strange, but yeah, this is a college town and it is Halloween night.

I was standing in line behind two frat boys wearing tin foil on their head, and they must have noticed my strange look (I'm a couple of decades over college age) because one of the guys told me that anyone wearing tin foil that night got a free burrito, any kind, anything on it. One guy tore a small piece of foil off of his piece and handed it to me so of course I put it on my head and ordered my chicken burrito with guacamole. Got down to the cashier who looked at me, smiled and said "looks you got the tin foil" and charged me a buck something for my drink and that was it. A free burrito.

Had a great dinner and left with a smile on my face at having been part of a really cool promotion by a restaurant I love to eat at anyhow.

Big thanks to Chipotle for the free food and the great idea.

(Photo:stirwise)

Last time I got the pigs out on the plains of super green grass (Grass won't last more than a day under pigs). Today was a lone adult chicken in an otherwise empty commercial coop, perfectly clean bird, on a perfectly clean floor. I know for fact chickens don't get moved from the time they are chicks, until the vacuum machine comes to box them for transport to the slaughter house. So where is all the bird shit and carcasses that succumbed to walking on the ammonia soaked floor?

This green-washing portrayal is so unrealistic, its possibly criminal. I'll keep an eye out for the 'happy frolicking cattle' one.

Chris from Chipotle writes:

Meghann -

It's a sad state of affairs when someone sees images of animals that are raised right and automatically assumes they are misleading, though many in our industry have provided ample reason for such an impression.

In our case, there's nothing misleading about the pig and chicken images you've mentioned (we also use images of beef cattle in that series). All of these images are from farms that supply our naturally raised meat - meat that comes from animals that are fed a pure vegetarian diet, never given hormones or antibiotics, and raised in a humane way. In all, Chipotle serves more naturally raised meat than any restaurant in the world, including 100% of our pork, about two-thirds of our chicken and nearly half of our beef. Under a philosophy we call "Food With Integrity," we've been working hard to improve the quality of the ingredients we use in our food and the progress we've made sourcing naturally raised meat is the most visible manifestation of our progress, but it doesn't end there. We've been working to source organically grown beans and buy more and more each year as the supply increases (this year, 25% of all of our beans are organically grown), and most recently we worked with our sour cream supplier to be sure all of the milk that's used to make it comes from cows that aren't treated with the synthetic hormone rBGH.

If there's anything more you need on this, please let me know. Otherwise, I hope you'll share this info with your reader. Their skepticism is certainly understandable, but in this case, I hope they'll be pleased to learn that it's unfounded.

Best...

Chris

(Photo: Chipotle)

What did he discover? Secret menu items are for real.

On the Chipotle Chicken Quesadilla: "It's so good that I tell them they should have it on the menu, to which the kindly lady who prepared my food wistfully says, "Hopefully, it will be, someday."

On the Subway Pizza Sub:
"There are like nine pepperoni slices on it, and maybe it's just my imagination, but I could swear I felt my arteries hardening with every bite."

On the Jamba Juice Pink Starburst Smoothie:
"It tastes — wait for it — like a pink Starburst candy, albeit in liquid form. And instead of being done with it after a few seconds, I have a giant cup of it."

We sort of want to try that chicken quesadilla. He made it sound really good. —MEGHANN MARCO

Top secret [Arizona Daily Star]
(Photo: uberculture)

PREVIOUSLY: The Really Big Guide To Secret Menu Items

Here it is, your guide to secret menu items. Sure, it's not the secret rib eye at Nobu, but it's something. Before reading this please note that this article has not been fact-checked. This report is based purely on reader suggestions. We are posting them entirely without confirmation and are not going to try to order any of this crap in order to confirm its existence. We would die of heart disease, be broke, and our ass would be the size of Texas. This is the internet, the internet is not fact-checked, and these are your secret menu items. Enjoy.

Taco Bell: Everything Taco Bell makes is comprised of a few basic ingredients, so they'll likely make anything they have the stuff for, which is probably pretty much anything they've ever served. Examples to attempt: Cheesy Gordita Crunch, Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, Encharito.

Wendy's: A tipster tells us, "order a "Grand Slam", It would otherwise be called a Classic Quadruple, were it on the menu." Reader bringafajita suggests trying to get a "Quarter Pound Double Stack with Cheese." FishingCrue tells us to try "Everything" (lettuce and tomato) on a Wendy's Double Stack, sometimes it's even free. If they look at you like you're crazy, tell them there's a button for it. A double stack with everything, add bacon is a decent sandwich for somewhere south of 2 bones."

Chipotle: Chipotle will, like Taco Bell, make anything they have the ingredients for. Unlike Taco Bell, this is an official policy. Some suggestions: Nachos, Quesadilla, Individual Tacos, Taco Salads, Tiny Bean Burritos Using Taco Shells, Fresh Cilantro on Your Tacos, whatever you can think of.

Subway: Subway will still make the "pizza sub," and many other former menu items. Also, they can't sell "broken cookies," so they may give you some for free.

Jamba Juice: Jamba has an entire secret menu of "unhealthy" smoothies named after things that would involve copyright violations were they to be included on the menu. The ones we know of:White Gummi Bear, Red Gummi Bear, Green Gummi Bear, Raspberry Dreamin', Pineapple Dreamin', Sourpatch Kid, Tropical Tango, Pacific Passion, Berry Depressing, Now and Later, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Apple Pie, Fruity Pebbles, Rainbow Sherbet, Strawberry Shortcake, Push Pop, Skittles, Andres' Surprise, and Lemonade Lightnin'. (Thanks,ronaldscott!)

In-N-Out Burger: Has their "secret" menu posted on their website, but a tipster writes in: "Not only can you get an animal style burger but you can also get animal style fries which are amazing. It's fries piled with onions, cheese and sauce and they come with a fork." In addition, we hear several voices calling from the mist, whispering that the secret menu doesn't stop at 4 x 4., but may, in fact, go on to infinity. Or at least to 100 x 100...
(Thanks, xapplexjuicex!)

Starbucks: Starbucks will make you absolutely anything you want no matter how insane it is, according to our tipster.

"Baristas might try and tell their customers that no, we can't do that with the blenders. This is a lie. Starbucks corporate policy is that the customer is ALWAYS right (even when the request is stupid). If you really insist that you want your iced soy latte blended, the baristas HAVE to do it. If they continue to refuse, ask to speak to a manager and either they'll realize they're about to get in trouble and will fill your request, or the manager will come out and politely tell the barista to make the customer happy.

Absolutely any concoction that you can think of (involving any type of milk, syrup, coffee, etc.) will be made for you. The limits to Starbucks "secret menu" are merely the limits of your imagination. You can even bring supplements from home and ask the barista to please include that in your drink."

(Photo: cogdogblog)

• Jamba Juice has an entire secret smoothie menu. We remember that it used to be on Wikipedia, but has mysteriously vanished. All the smoothies are made from stuff in the store, but most aren't as healthy as the ones the promote. They are, however, in the register. Some secret ones to try:
Strawberry Shortcake, White Gummy Bear, PB+J, Pink Starburst, Skittles, Red Gummy Bear, Sourpatch Kid, Now and Later, Push Pop, Fruity Pebbles. The consensus seems to be that "White Gummy Bear" is the most delicious substance known to man.

• In-and-Out Burger's Secret Menu. This one is posted on their website

• Chipotle. According to Wikipedia a quesadilla is considered a secret item.

Now, we know you guys know about more of these "secret menus" from different restaurants. We want to put together a list. An ultimate guide.

Do you work at Jamba? Send the complete menu. Work somewhere else and know what's up? Send it. Tips [at] consumerist [dot] com. Put "Secret Menu" in the subject.—MEGHANN MARCO

Secret Off-the-Menu Items [Buzzfeed]

Dress like a burrito today and get a free burrito at... Chipotle. You can also show up as a taco, "bol," or a salad.

We're not sure that every location is participating, but one assumes that if you act insane enough, they'll at least throw a burrito at you.

Let us know how that works out.

That's where the real trouble started.

Bursting burritos, pustulent piles of homogeneous Mexican delights, and the men who feel indifferently about them, after the jump...

Daniel writes:

"Dear consumerosos,

I work for a small word of mouth research and planning company here in New York near the Chipotle on Sixth Avenue (near 20th). Some co-workers and I bought some of their competitively priced burritos for lunch today, and I had a problem with my burrito.

The courteous staff followed all my 'line' requests - half rice, pintos, no lettuce, and so forth, but when it came time for the green salsa, which I find agreeable, well... they did not take the time to strain the liquid from the salsa, flooding my burrito. I made it clear through visual communication of disappointment anguish, and pain that they had screwed up my burrito, but they did not seem to care, they just sent my burrito down to the wrapping personnel. This is where it got worse, as they wrapped my burrito and I witnessed leakage at all creases.

The initial burst of fluids ran onto the prep board, but still the burrito was wrapped. It wasn't even a clean wrap like I've seen from the pros at the Chipotle in Washington DC (Wisconsin Ave location.) It was a wrap so bad, I thought they were going to call for a re-wrap. When I went to the register after seeing my soaking wet burrito under foil, I politely asked the gentleman what was there policy if a burrito was leaking all over my hands, bag, and shoulders. They said, they would be happy to re wrap it, but I chose not to have this done as its already disgusting enough, the amount of 'mixing' that goes on inside a burrito, i don't need someone to peel the burrito wrapper off and scoop the insides into a new shell. This has happened to me before, and I would rather throw up on the sneeze guards than eat a re-wrapped burrito.

Let's get some corporate guidance on this one. And get me a couple of McDonald's breakfast burritos in remuneration con Picante Sauce Hot."

Photo cred.