Write An Essay, Win A Mortgage-Free Goat Cheese Farm With 85 Goats In Alabama

If there are two things we’ve discovered people really and truly go bonkers for, it’s writing competitions that reap rewards of property for the winner and goats performing jobs. Those two topics have come together in the story of an Alabama couple holding an essay-writing contest to decide who will win their fully functional, mortgage-free goat cheese farm — including its resident goat population of 85. [More]

(me and the sysop)

Theft Of Truck Trailer Prevents Multiple Tons Of Mozzarella From Achieving Delicious Pizza Fate

Admittedly, a truck full of cheese would be a tempting sight for many, yours truly included. But some dastardly villain took things a step too far, swiping a tractor-trailer filled with multiple tons of mozzarella cheese, keeping it from heading off into the delicious pizza sunset it was destined for. That’s just wrong. [More]

The little-known "Stadium Nacho," which is a refined blend of cheddar and Romano cheeses, with an insouciant hint of brand marketing for Madden NFL. (photo: Paxton Holley)

“Nacho Cheese” Is Whatever You Want It To Be

Those of us who grew up with orange-tinted fingers and salt-cured lips from spending too much time feeding at the Dorito trough know what “nacho” cheese is, or at least we know what it tastes like. But the fact is that, unlike most other well-known cheese varieties, there is no actual definition for what constitutes the cheese we call nacho. [More]

Professional Cheese Babysitter Exists, Is Now My Dream Job


Seeing as it’s yet another day, it’s time to think about how awesome cheese is, and how utterly fantastic it would be to have someone pay you money to eat it. Enter a professional cheese grader, who likes to think of himself as a “cheese babysitter,” and who is now the subject of my undying jealousy. [More]

(Renee Rendler-Kaplan)

Glorious Restaurant Serves Only Macaroni And Cheese

I once thought that I was alone in my dream of a restaurant that served nothing but grilled cheese sandwiches, but I was wrong. The Melt opened in 2011 and continues to thrive and expand. Surely, though, there aren’t enough cheese-obsessed Americans to also support a restaurant specializing in macaroni and cheese, right? I’m probably alone in that dream. [More]

(Sarah Mount)

Thieves Steal 1.4 Tons Of Cheese Contaminated With Listeria

Listen, if there’s anyone out there who understands the lure of wheel upon wheel of beautiful cheese, it’s me. Cheese is my significant other, so I get it. But thieves in Liechtenstein are barking up a very dangerous tree by swiping 1.4 tons of cheese contaminated with harmful bacteria. That cheese is sadly, meant for no one. [More]

(Burger King Japan)

Burger King Japan Creates Black Cheese For Its Black Burger And I Don’t Know How To Feel

If the saying is true and we eat first with our eyes, hope you’re hungry for some garbage bags: Burger King Japan has introduced a new black cheese to match its black burgers. And while I normally applaud any iteration of cheese in general, chowing down on a melted piece of Darth Vader’s helmet isn’t exactly an appetizing thought. [More]

Cheese Makers In Switzerland Fight Counterfeits With Secret Bacteria

Cheese Makers In Switzerland Fight Counterfeits With Secret Bacteria

Did you know that counterfeit Swiss cheese is a problem? It certainly is if you’re a cheesemaker in Switzerland. Industry experts recently estimated that as much as 10% of all Emmental cheese (that’s the pale yellow cheese with holes in it that Americans usually refer to as “Swiss” cheese) sold outside of Switzerland was fake: not made in Switzerland. How are the Swiss protecting their cheese industry, which has exports in the hundreds of millions of dollars? DNA tests. [More]

(Robert S. Donovan)

Everyone Is Really Into Eating Butter Right Now, Sending Prices Soaring

When it comes to fatty spreads, it seems butter’s popularity is climbing these days. But because the butter industry can’t keep up with the spike in demand, you could be facing higher prices at the store. [More]

Not The Cheese!! Kraft Recalls American Singles For Possible Premature Spoilage

Not The Cheese!! Kraft Recalls American Singles For Possible Premature Spoilage

Obeying the correct storage process for ingredients is of the utmost importance when it comes to creating ooey-gooey cheesy deliciousness. And improper storage can spoil your cheese – as one supplier found out now that loads of Kraft Singles are being recalled. [More]


Police: Do You Have Four Logs Of Swiss Cheese Stuffed Down Your Pants Or… (Insert Punchline)

I can imagine getting away with stuffing one log of rather expensive Swiss cheese down your pants and passing it off as a “No big deal, nothing to see here, just a guy walking around a store,” situation. But four logs of cheese? Come on now, we know you’re not just really, really happy to see us. [More]

KFC Philippines Creates Fried Chicken Coated With Cheese Chips

KFC Philippines Creates Fried Chicken Coated With Cheese Chips

The Philippines have, as a nation, made great contributions to fast food. Yes, other than Jollibee. KFC’s outposts in that country have brought magical things into being, such as the Cheesy Bacon Fest that wasn’t really a festival, but cheese and bacon slathered on regular menu items. Now they’re doing even more with fried chicken coated with cheese. Yes. [More]

7-Eleven Takes Doritos Loaded On Tour, Inflicts Them On More Cities

7-Eleven Takes Doritos Loaded On Tour, Inflicts Them On More Cities

The editors in Consumerist’s Washington, D.C. office are lovely and capable people, but we made them test the Doritos Loaded cheese-like food objects anyway when 7-Eleven was test-marketing them in our nation’s capital. Now people in more cities get to experience…whatever these things are. [More]

(Mr Moss0

FDA Promises To Work With Cheesemakers On Safety Of Using Wood Ripening Boards

Earlier this week, cheesemakers across the country seemed to be collectively freaking out over the Food and Drug Administration’s announcement that it wasn’t cool with cheese ripened on wooden boards, saying the bacteria in the boards could be a potential a food safety issue. Now the agency is clarifying its stance in an apparent attempt to quell that freakout. [More]

Has The FDA Declared War On Cheesemakers Who Use Wooden Aging Boards?


Before you take the above headline straight to your dairy-loving hearts and faint dead away, rest assured that cheese in general is here to stay (especially if I have anything to say about it). But for some cheesemakers, the United States Food and Drug Administration’s recent crackdown on certain kinds of cheese aged on wooden boards is a worrisome issue, one that they say could change how they practice their craft. [More]

Why Do Velveeta Cheese Slices Have Different Calorie Counts Depending On The Package Size?

Why Do Velveeta Cheese Slices Have Different Calorie Counts Depending On The Package Size?

Sometimes we have questions from you, our fresh-faced and bright-eyed Consumerist readers, that we just don’t have an answer for. And when that happens, we will move heaven and earth to get the answers. Or just you know, look into things. Thus it was with the Mystery Of Velveeta Cheese Slices And Differing Calorie Counts. [More]

Sure, A Terrorist Attack Map Cheese Plate Sounds Like A Fine Idea

Sure, A Terrorist Attack Map Cheese Plate Sounds Like A Fine Idea

The new 9/11 Museum at the former site of the World Trade Center might be New York City’s hottest tourist attraction right now, and both the museum and its gift shop of items in questionable taste have been in the news lately. Here’s the latest head-scratcher featured online: a map-shaped cheese plate marked with terrorist attack sites. [More]

Make sure to remove all cats before heading to bar/laundromat. (debsagain)

Bar That Does Laundry, Feeds You Grilled Cheese Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself

As any city dweller knows, if you don’t have laundry in your apartment (ha, who do you think you are, Donald Trump?) or even in the building, the laundromat is the sole, annoying option. It’s a hassle to drag your clothes down the street and then sit there blocking out Wheel of Fortune while waiting for your duds to sud. But it could be so, so much better. [More]