Someone out there is getting paid to write this.

The official Charmin Twitter feed is notorious for its constant stream of poop-related musings, ranging in quality from sophomoric to brilliant (insofar as fecal humor can be brilliant). Now the Internet has revealed at least one of the people behind Procter & Gamble’s filthiest social media campaign. (via AnimalNewYork.com)

Charmin Rep Shows You How To Wipe (Video)

Charmin Rep Shows You How To Wipe (Video)

In this video spotted by the New York Times, a helpful Charmin rep demonstrates a heretofore unknown ability of Charmin Freshmates to wipe toothpaste off the human hand.

Dick Wilson, the actor who played Mr. Whipple in over 500 Charmin commercials, has passed away at the age of 91. [CNN]

Charmin Rolls Out Shorter Ultra Big Rolls

Charmin Rolls Out Shorter Ultra Big Rolls

Charmin Ultra Big Rolls have shrunk by 1 centimeter, but don’t expect the price to drop anytime soon. The discoverer of the change has an interesting take on the smaller Ultra Big rolls:

The fabulous news here, obviously, is that America’s collective butt is getting smaller, and the folks at Proctor & Gamble are merely keeping pace. They’ve narrowed the width of Charmin, the veritable Rolls Royce of Toilet Paper, purely in response to our nation’s decreasing posteriors.