"If publishing history repeats itself," Slate writes, "the financial crisis of 2008 will probably produce a new crop of poverty lit for kids." We agree, and below we offer some ideas for you opportunistic writers out there.

Finger Food
A poor small town banks its future on a severed fingertip that young Elba Franklin finds in a can of beans. Before they can collect the hush money, though, opportunists from all over the country get involved, including newscasters, attorneys, bloggers, and the crotchety old man who wants his finger back no matter what it costs the town.

Rich on Paper
Micah "Crayon" Ponokie says his family is richer than god, and he can prove it by the mounds and mounds of cash they've got stashed all over the house. In this delightful picture book, Crayon and his younger brothers use the bills for everything from paper mache ninjas to flower bouquets for their unemployed mom—because it turns out paper money is worthless in Crayon's world. On the last few pages, Crayon and his brothers moan because they discover mom's making Dollar Bill Pizza again tonight.

Luv in SuvTown
Shades of S.E. Hinton color this YA novel, where Sara Elizardo and her cousins live with other homeless families in a "suvtown"—a collection of SUVs that have been abandoned because they're too expensive to drive—at the edge of a former Super Walmart parking lot somewhere in the Midwest. These modern day "stationary gypsies" have wild adventures with the law, usually involving being accused of loitering at the nearby Jack-in-the-Box, and they spend their nights sneaking through the abandoned big box store and pretending to sell each other cheap electronics and household goods. When a strange young man shows up with his unhappy, hostile parents, Sara sees a kindred spirit who might be the one to help her co-sign on a by-the-week apartment. Depressing and pathos-riddled, yes, but don't you remember those S.E. Hinton books?

Mommy's Dollhouses
Five-year-old Gertie Prentice loves going to work with her mommy. Her mommy is a cleaner—she goes into recently-foreclosed houses and makes them look good as new so they can be put back on the market, and she sneaks Gertie in with her because daycare is too expensive. Gertie goes through the forgotten toys and left-behind dishware in each house and makes up fantasies about the people who used to live there, and she wonders why the people would leave such nice houses behind. (This could be a tie-in to the YA novel above, if you're a smart publisher.)

"Mom, What's a Credit Default Swap?" [Slate]
(Images: Finger Food, Madamoiselle Green; Rich on Paper, labasta, Getty Images; Luv in SuvTown, stephentrepreneur; Mommy's Doll Houses, lumaxart, Todd Baker << technowannabe)

After this experience, Joe started looking online, and he found similar stories from frustrated shoppers. A customer on Pricegrabber from this summer wrote:

I ordered two books, paid for expedited shipping, and have just received one book after 12 days. No idea where the other book is, and they did not provide tracking information (even after I contacted them 5 days ago to get tracking / shipment details). On the 3rd part bookseller website, the order was listed as being shipped / completed 8 days ago but when I checked the USPS tracking info on my package it was listed as being shipped 2 days ago. That means they falsely listed the order as having shipped 6 days before they actually put it in the mail.

There's another personal account of an Indoo shipping fiasco on this livejournal page.

We might have been willing to cut Indoo a little slack, except they never responded to Joe's follow up email, nor did they acknowledge or apologize for the misreported shipping date in the single response they did send him.

Joe adds,

Frankly, the only reason I ordered from them was because I read about a bookseller aggregator on Lifehacker or Consumerist and Indoo came up as cheapest/fastest for both books. I was a bad consumerist since I didn't do my research on them first. Would have saved me some aggravation. Maybe a post on Consumerist would keep someone else from making the same mistake.

(Photo: Getty)

Lie

Great news! You're eligible for all sorts of discounts because you work for a Fortune 500 company. What, you don't work for a Fortune 500 company? How would rental agents know? Mention it before they ask, or if they offer a rate, respond with: "Geez, that's a little higher than I paid last time I'm a regional director for Microsoft out here in [wherever] and I'm pretty sure we have a rate with you guys."

Once the discount is in the computer, it's there to stay.

Or if you want a bulkhead seat on your next flight, tell the gate agent that you're prone to, err, deep-vein thrombosis and you have a doctor's note or a note on doctor-like stationary to prove it. Or you can try to earn your sympathy because you're *ahem* on your way to your best friend's wedding and you're worried about speaking at the rehearsal dinner.

Hang Up On Morons

Trust your instincts. The person on the other end of the line is a moron. Hang-up and try again.

At least that's what travel-man Thompson recommends. We know that front-line employees rarely solve problem, so instead of playing whack-a-mole with unhelpful CSRs, politely escalate until you find someone who isn't a moron.

Steal An Extra Inch Of Legroom

All that junk airlines cram into seatback pockets? Throw it out. You don't need magazines and promotional garbage. Chuck everything—except the barf bag—into the overhead bin and enjoy a free extra inch of legroom.

Eat A Meal Before You Board

It's not like they'll serve you free food onboard, so swing by a restaurant on your way to the airport and fill up. Or at least grab some fruit before you board.

Resurrect Dead Batteries

Rub dead batteries briskly against your pant leg for a minute. The static generates a recharge that should last for an hour. May not work with iPods.

Don't Be A Jackass

Look, they don't know that you lied about the wedding and the deep-vein thrombosis, but they will notice if you're That Guy, and employees will make it their mission to pay you back in full. Smile, say "thank you," and have a pleasant attitude.

Bribe

Oh, this box of chocolates you got as a gift that you happen to be allergic to? Would you like them, Ms. Gate Agent who can get you out of the middle seat?

Apparently this form of bribery works if you're smooth enough.

And gate agents do have extra seats, if you're nice. On Boeing 767s, seats 17A B H and J are comfy coach spots reserved for the crew on international flights. On domestic flights, they stay open until right before boarding, along with business class and first class seats, and are given to traveling employees and gate agent favorites.

Tip Early

$10 on the first night of your stay goes a long way to saying you might give more later if they don't spit on your toothbrush.

Pay Up

You're on vacation, pay up. Don't travel to the Caribbean and settle for anything less than an ocean view. Pay for the room, pay for the food, pay for the experience.

Ignore Jet Lag

It's all in your head, whiner. Force yourself to adapt to the local time and walk off the sleepiness.

Smile When You're Lying: Confessions of a Rogue Travel Writer [Amazon, The New York Public Library]

• Apple: Refurbished iPod touches on sale, 8GB for $180, 16GB for $240, 32GB for $320
• Amazon: Rewards points upgrade for existing Amazon.com Visa holders
• Apple: Free Select iTunes TV Shows in HD (requires iTunes 8

• Travelocity: United Airlines Sale: Round-trip flights from $108
• Amazon.com: Amazon.com Men's Watch Deals: Timex, Marc Ecko, more from $40 + free shipping
• Sears: Seven7 Women's Jeans for $18 + $6 s&h, more

• Budget Truck Rental: $50 Gift card when paying w/American Express
• Reverie: T-Shirt Sale: Buy 1 TEE get 1 free TEE
• BestBuy: Westinghouse 42" 1080p LCD HDTV and portable DVD Player for $749.99 + shipping

• Drugstore.com: New Customers: Save $5 or $10 off First Order
• Vann's: Panasonic FZ28 10.2MP Digital Camera $340 Shipped
• Amazon: Get Savings of up to 75% off Bargain Books

Here's why:

We propose four psychological needs. The first is safety/security, which is the need to feel like you'll survive, like you are not in danger, like you will have enough food and water and shelter to make it another day. The second is competence or efficacy, which is the need to feel like you are skillful and able to do the things that you set out to do: I need to feel like a good psychologist, you might need to feel like a good journalist, etc. The third is connection or relatedness, which concerns having close, intimate relationships with other people. The fourth need is for freedom or autonomy, which is feeling like you do what you do because you choose it and want to do it rather than feeling compelled or forced to do it.

As I lay out in my book, The High Price of Materialism, people who put a strong focus on materialism in their lives tend to have poor satisfaction of each of these four needs. In part this is because of their development, but it also is because materialism creates a lifestyle that does a poor job of satisfying these needs. That is, a materialistic lifestyle tends to perpetuate feelings of insecurity, to lead people to hinge their competence on pretty fleeting, external sources, to damage relationships, and to distract people from the more fun, more meaningful, and freer ways of living life.

Kimberly Palmer, who writes the Alpha Consumer blog, says that Kasser lives "a lifestyle known as "voluntary simplicity," which essentially means opting for a less materialistic life. Instead of spending the evening in front of a plasma-screen television, a voluntary simplifier might cook a meal with the vegetables he grew in his garden. Instead of splurging on two lattes a day, he might bring his home-brewed beverage of choice to work in a reusable mug." Personally, we live a modified version of this lifestyle. Ours includes the flat screen tv. Hey, football won't watch itself.

Actually, Kasser addresses that issue too:

There is a story about a man who approached Gandhi and said that he'd been thinking about living a simpler life, but he didn't feel like he could give up his collection of books. Gandhi is said to have replied, "As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, you should keep it. If you were to give it up in a mood of self-sacrifice or out of a stern sense of duty, you would continue to want it back, and that unsatisfied want would make trouble for you. Only give up a thing when you want some other condition so much that the thing no longer has any attraction for you."

My take on this, and on your question, is that simplicity is not an endstate that is achieved but a path that one is walking.

What do you think? Are you happier when you strive for simplicity...?

How to Live the Simple Life [Alpha Consumer]
(Photo: Getty)

1. Use what you do have creatively
You have no shoes. Yet, you have a suit jacket, a box cutter, and the lining in the suit jacket. Combine them and you have serviceable foot coverings. Similarly, a metal pipe fitted with a length of chain makes an excellent truncheon.

2. Search through the discards
Even if that can in the corner looks empty, tap it with your foot. There might be some useable gas in it!

3. Don't quit
Just when you're on the edge of total failure is when you might come across the storehouse of apples and fresh water.

4. When you come across a windfall, use it wisely
Fill back up on what you need, but don't wallow in it and let it delay you from your journey.

5. Hold on to your morals
Just because you're hungry doesn't mean it's right to eat the flesh of other humans.

In what unlikely sources have you found inspiration for more frugal living?

A lot of our posts about writing complaint letters has focused on sticking to the facts, and getting your story to the right people. I like that Bruce takes this one step further and shows how throwing in a little creative writing can increase your chances at success. It's really just an artful way of demonstrating the basic principle of "it will cost more to ignore me than to take care of my problem." You demonstrate that you're a committed customer with long-term value who has spent money before and will continue to spend money, as long as your grievance can be addressed. I wonder, however, how well the tactics will work against industries that like to play hardball with customer service, like banks, cellphones, and insurance.

You can get a digital PDF version of Bruce's book for $19.99 here.

Another free chapter, "Living in a Sitcom," involving a complaint letter written after sitting next to a really big guy on an airplane that spilled into Bruce's site, is available here.

Complain For Fun And Profit [Official Site]

"By creatively combining the assets of our new online channel with the many advantages of our stores and vice versa, we're giving customers an elevated experience that we believe they'll find more satisfying than anything else in bookselling today," said Borders CEO George Jones.

The attempts to mimic the experience of shopping in a "real" bookstore with "Magic Shelf." New releases and other popular titles are placed cover out on a "shelf." Shoppers can browse left tor right, up and down, or by category. Borders says:

"We wanted a real bookstore online," said Kevin Ertell, senior vice president for e-business at Borders, in an interview with the Free Press last week. "What we did to capture that bookstore feel was putting the Magic Shelf on the sign-in page."

Does it actually mimic the bookstore experience? Eh, maybe if you shop at a bookstore that carries 12 titles per shelf. What do you think?

Borders

Borders starts online chapter [Detroit Free Press]

(Thanks to c-side!)

Beloit-resident Keely Givhan says she was in the process of moving and never got the notices. When she was pulled over in November, police saw that she had an outstanding warrant and arrested her, says the Associated Press.

She and her family couldn't afford to pay her fine so she remained in jail for six days.

Beloit police Capt. Bill Tyler said he knows this case could sound like an overreaction. But he said a municipal fine is a municipal fine, and failure to pay for any reason can result in an arrest warrant being issued.

Woman Jailed For Failing To Return Books [Channel 3000 via Fark]

Jezzy says:

The author of the books, Tina Wells, is not even a writer by trade; she is, according to the NY Times, "chief executive of Buzz Marketing Group, which advises consumer product companies on how to sell to teenagers and preteenagers." But this is nothing new: Clique series author Lisi Harrison used to be a Senior Director of Development at MTV and is the brains behind such classics as "Room Raiders." (Also, the middle schoolers in the Clique series are apparently grossed out by menstruation, but that's a whole other post. We miss you, Margaret, and your menses loving ways!).

Ms. Wells claims that brand sponsorship will not interfere with Mackenzie Blue's content. "Mackenzie loves Converse...Does Converse want to work with us? I have no clue. But that doesn't negate the fact that Mackenzie loves Converse," Wells told the Times. When reporter Motoko Rich asked her if she would refuse a lucrative contract from Nike even though Mackenzie is a "Converse girl," Wells said, "Maybe another character could become a Nike girl." Don't you see, brands won't be dictating her content at all!

Even worse is Mackenzie Blue publisher Susan Katz. "If you look at Web sites, general media or television, corporate sponsorship or some sort of advertising is totally embedded in the world that tweens live in," Ms. Katz said. "It gives us another opportunity for authenticity." [Cue gagging sounds here. -Ed.]

In Books for Young, Two Views on Product Placement [NYT]
Young Adult Novels Plumb New Depths Of Product Placement [Jezebel]

So what can you expect from the book? Here's the meat of Publishers Weekly's review on Amazon:

Though her explanation of the "8 qualities of a wealthy woman" (harmony, balance, courage, etc.) is more inspirational than practical, she also presents a concrete five-month "save yourself plan" for financial repair, starting with setting aside checking and savings accounts, fixing one's credit rating, saving for retirement, setting up a will and purchasing home insurance. This encouraging guide will not intimidate women who are foundering financially.

"Suicide, Lies, Debt: A Suburban Nightmare" [Oprah.com]

It used to be that Barnes & Noble would take back just about any item at any time with or without a receipt. That won't be the case for much longer, a flyer at Barnes & Noble bookstores announces that the store is downgrading its super-friendly return policy on March 3rd to the following: "All returns must be made within 14 days of purchase and accompanied with an original sales receipt. After 14 days or without an original sales receipt, returns will not be permitted (nor permitted to exchange)." First Target, now Barnes & Noble, could this be the start of a trend? Full scan of the flyer, inside...

(Photo: Matt McGee)

Adobe has been promising a Leopard-friendly version since at least November 13th of last year, but as of today they've still released nothing. In the meantime, students who've spent considerable amounts on e-textbooks are out of luck and money.

The forum notes that there are a couple of potential workarounds that have seen some success, but the truly astounding aspect to this is that Adobe hasn't stepped up to help ensure refunds for those who weren't told their purchases would be useless—and that e-book sellers aren't making it clear at check-out that Leopard won't work.

(Thanks to Tyler!)

"Digital Editions in Mac OS X Leopard" [Adobe Forums]

We've sorted these e-Books into specific categories, along with a brief description we've written up on each of them. Everything is in PDF format, so if an e-Book strikes your fancy, consider downloading a copy by right-clicking on the link, then clicking "Save As."

Just in case you don't have time, the top e-Book in each category is our Minty Pick. Happy reading!

"30 Free eBooks To Learn Everything You Want to Know About Personal Finance" [Mint blog]
(Photo: Getty)

Their rankings, which are determined largely by the number of "this was helpful" votes, are kept high through "you scratch my back" arrangements and swarms of adoring fans who blindly vote for their favorite reviewer while voting down other Top 10 Reviewers.

The author of the article grew interested in Amazon's Top 10 Reviewer group when he saw an over-the-top positive review of his debut fiction novel. He felt the praise was a little "packaged" and didn't read as genuine, so he asked his publicist about it—she admitted she'd "solicited Grady Harp's review."

"Who Is Grady Harp?" [Slate]
(Photo: Getty)

The drawings, of a scene in an art museum, feature cartoonish depictions of a nude painting and statue. Hardly anything to freak out over, but the publisher, Boyds Mills Press, was so afraid of angry parents that they sheepishly asked the author to censor herself.

This didn't go over so well in Germany. From Spiegel:

American kiddies, obviously, could never be expected to handle such a depiction of the human body. The US publisher, somewhat awkwardly, asked if they could be removed.

The author, not surprisingly, considers the request to be absurd. The statue's mini-willy, the author points out, is hardly even a half-millimeter long. And the naked woman hanging on the wall? Hardly a realistic depiction of the female anatomy. The US publisher, says Berner, was embarrassed to ask for the changes, but they were even more afraid of how American mommies and daddies might react if junior were exposed to such pornography.

For the author, any kind of self-censorship was completely out of the question. She said she could maybe have lived with putting black bars in front of the problem spots, but "invisible censorship" was out. "If you're going to censor something, then the reader should be aware of it," she told SPIEGEL ONLINE.

It's sad but not surprising that the publisher reacted the way they did. A tiny drawing of a wang in a kid's book is just the sort of unsubstantial, yet mildly controversial issue that local TV news teams really enjoy. In a country where you can get your 15 minutes of fame from complaining about talking dolls that "swear" if you listen really, really hard, and the use of the word "scrotum" in a Newbery Medal winning children's book causes apoplexy in librarians, the publisher was probably less concerned about offending your average parent than it was about having to "take tiny penis drawings seriously" on the nightly news. So it goes.

US Publisher Turns away from Cartoon Nudity [Spiegel]
US publisher relents on German children's book [EarthTimes]

The photographer suggests, "For the new year, fellow bibliophiles, let's resolve not to defile our remaining bookstores in this way."

Indeed. If you've never lived or worked New York City trust me when I say that rather than move here out of curiosity, you can simply look at this photo and know exactly what it is like.

B&N: A Sorid Epitath [BlogChelsea via Racked]
(Photo:BlogChelsea)

"Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure" [Reuters]

One reason the Times selected the book is that, unlike so many "problem" books, it provides a series of possible solutions at the end.

It includes some steps that should be widely popular, like giving doctors incentives to explain the risks and benefits of procedures more clearly than they do now. Research has shown that patients frequently decide against marginal care when they know the true risks and benefits. Malpractice laws would also need to be changed so doctors were not sued by patients who later changed their minds.

Other solutions would be more difficult—because medical evidence is often murky, because hospitals and insurers would fight to keep their revenues and because most Americans think it's the other guy who's getting unnecessary treatment. These are the reasons that presidential candidates don't focus on wasteful treatment.

But models for reform are out there. Hospitals that don't use the fee-for-service model, like those run by the Veterans Health Administration, are already getting better results for less money. They closely track their performance—that is, the health of their patients—and motivate employees to improve it.

Young Children

• It's a Habit, Sammy Rabbit!
• Alexander, Who Used to Be Rich Last Sunday
• The Money Savvy Pig (not a book, but highly recommended)

• Growing Money: A Complete Investing Guide for Kids
• The Totally Awesome Money Book for Kids
• What Color is Your Piggy Bank? Entrepreneurial Ideas for Self-Starting Kids

• The Motley Fool Investment Guide for Teens: 8 Steps to Having More Money Than Your Parents Ever Dreamed Of
• Street Wise: A Guide for Teen Investors
• Cash Cache

• Debt is Slavery (his favorite)
• The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke
• Saving for Retirement without Living Like a Pauper or Winning the Lottery
• Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance in Your Twenties and Thirties
• You, Inc. - The Art of Selling Yourself

• Your Money or Your Life
• The Total Money Makeover
• The Complete Tightwad Gazette
• The Bogleheads' Guide to Investing

"Ask the Readers: Personal Finance Books as Gifts?" [GetRichSlowly]

You can find more excerpts from the book at Amazon, but almost no reviews. We're not sure if this means the book is a dud or if it means the authors have a bad publicist, but if any of you have read it, feel free to let us know your feelings.

"Control your finances and you control your life" [MSNBC]

We've only read 4 of the included titles (Hey, we mostly shop at used book stores!), and, since the non-fiction title How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read by Pierre Bayard is not among them, we'll just shut up.

100 Notable Books of 2007 [NYT via Kottke]
(Illustration:Greg Clarke)

(Photo: zimpenfish)

[The book transforms] some very broad ideas into very, very specific things you can do to evaluate your own financial situation and how you're choosing to spend your money and your time. It goes beyond money management into an examination of how we spend money in the modern world and whether it's in line with our values or not.

• 2. "What Color Is Your Parachute?" by Richard Nelson Bolles
• 3. "The Bogleheads' Guide to Investing" by Taylor Larimore, Mel Lindauer, Michael LeBoeuf, and John C. Bogle
• 4. "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" by Amy Daczyzyn
• 5. "The Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey
• 6. "Born to Buy" by Juliet Schor
• 7. "It Pays to Talk" by Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz and Charles Schwab
• 8. "Smart and Simple Financial Strategies for Busy People" by Jane Bryant Quinn
• 9. "The Millionaire Next Door" by Thomas Stanley and William Danko
• 10. "America's Cheapest Family" by Steve and Annette Economides

"52 Books, 52 Weeks: The Top Ten" [The Simple Dollar via Later On]

Translation: "We were losing money. Lots of money. Sorry, but the program has to go."

This news is a bit old, but since it affects the upcoming holiday shopping season, we found it interesting.
From the WSJ:

Under the new Borders plan, each time customers reach $150 in purchases at Borders superstores or Waldenbooks stores, they will receive $5 in Borders Bucks at the beginning of the following month. They can then use that $5 until the end of that month, at which point the offer expires. Users will be contacted by email and urged to print out a $5 coupon, although those who forget will be able to use their $5 credit by presenting their Borders Rewards card in stores. Customers will be able to earn Borders Bucks online after Borders opens its own Web site next year.

Members were given Personal Shopping Days, which enabled those who had spent $50 in a month to apply a 10% discount on all purchases made on a specific day in the following month. Gift cards were the exception. Customers also received a credit equal to 5% of their store purchases made through Nov. 14 in a special Holiday Savings account. That credit could then be used on purchases made from Nov. 15 through Jan. 31. The only caveat was that customers had to have at least $10 in their account — which meant they had to have spent a minimum of $200 to qualify.

If you're a current member, you were able to redeem the credit you've accrued through April 11.
"And Borders customers who have spent at least $200 through April 11 will qualify for the Holiday Savings Rewards; those savings will be redeemable from Nov. 15 through Jan. 31, 2008. After April 11, the Borders Bucks program will be instituted," says the WSJ.

Borders Slashes Buyer Rewards, Cuts Discounts [AOL Money & Finance] (Thanks, Bill!)
(Photo:Maulliegh)

From USA Today:

Among books released in recent weeks, as the currencies approached parity, the list price on Alan Greenspan's The Age of Turbulence: Adventures in a New World is $35 U.S. and $42 Canadian. Suggested retail prices for James Patterson's You've Been Warned are $27.99 and $32.50.

"Before, when there was a 5% or 10% difference (in the currencies), people would ... accept that the Canadian price was higher without making a calculation," says Douglas Porter, deputy chief economist at BMO Capital Markets. "Now that we're spot-on parity, it's tougher to explain away that difference."

Sorry, Canada. We suppose you'll have to visit the library for something to read while you wait in line for your excellent health care.

Dollar parity angers Canadian book buyers [USA Today]
(Photo:TheNose)

The Kindle, in particular, may provide some competition for Sony's year-old e-ink Reader, a small device about the size of a very thin tradecover, that can display e-books bought from Sony's own online store. An analyst with Jupiter Research is doubtful either device will be very disruptive:

"Books represent a pretty good value for consumers. They can display them and pass them to friends, and they understand the business model. We have had dedicated e-book devices on the market for more than a decade, and the payoff always seems to be just a few years away."

"Envisioning the Next Chapter for Electronic Books" [New York Times]
(Photo: Getty)

The books generally can't be sold back to the college bookstore, nor can the student choose to buy them at another store. Professors who contribute chapters to the books are paid royalties. Is this a conflict of interest?

NPR interviewed one instructor who was in favor of "customized" textbooks. She said she had no problem requiring students to keep their textbooks, even after graduation. "Students have to trust us, they have to trust us that when we say, um, keep this textbook on your shelf, you're going to need it. I have no problem requiring students to keep those textbooks," she said.

That reminds us, we totally needed to go back and consult Architecture Theory since 1968, the other day. Oh wait, no. We did not.

Book Buying Among College Practices Under Scrutiny [NPR]
(Photo:ghindo)

His first story is about how he himself got screwed, and then unscrewed, on the first car that he bought...

After happily put-putting home in the new car, he noticed an ad by the dealership in the paper offering a $1500 discount for any car purchased over the weekend. For some reason, his salesman never mentioned this offer to him. When Burley tried to ask for the deal retroactively, the dealership said sorry, we can't change a contract once it's been signed.

"I replied, "What do you mean? You advertised the special. The sale representative should have told me about it! It's just not fair."
"That's our policy. I'm sorry."
"It's a bad policy," I said, for lack of any other words, and hung up the phone.
I was livid. I'd just been screwed out of $1200... Something had to be done."

"What do you intend to do with those?" he asked..

"Mr. Smith," I said coolly, even though my hands were sweaty and shaking, "at this point, it doesn't really matter to me whether I get my money back or not. I am going to exercise my First Amendment right to stand on that public sidewalk in front of your dealership. I'll hand one of these flyers to anybody walking onto your lot. I'll be carrying a picket sign with the same message."

I continued, "I'll bet that, in just a handful of Saturdays, I can convince a couple of dozen people to shop elsewhere. It could end up that, by not paying me what's due to me, you lose ten times that much in future business. It won't put any cash in my pocket, but I'll feel a lot better about things. What do you think?"

Burley could've filed complaint letters and made calls up the management food chain, he could've cc'd letters to the Attorney General and the FTC, and maybe even eventually been forced to take the dealership to small claims court, where he would've won, as it is actually the law that merchants have to honor their advertised price. Instead, he chose a direct course of action that in broke the problem down to terms that any simple business could understand. Much more expeditious, and probably more satisfying.

• Harry Potter and the Chinese Porcelain Doll
• Harry Potter and the Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon
• Harry Potter and the Chinese Overseas Students at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Here's a sample excerpt, which is short but so perfect that it's almost a koan:

Harry doesn't know how long it will take to wash the sticky cake off his face.

No word on when these will be made into movies, but maybe if Hollywood will step forward and do its part, then Turkish knock-offs can start appearing in market stalls everywhere.

Memo to the Dept. of Magical Copyright Enforcement [New York Times]

(Photo: lime*monkey)