Wow, Wendy's Really Does Take It Seriously

Wow, Wendy's Really Does Take It Seriously

We’re always making fun of companies who overuse the phrase “taking it seriously,” but it looks like Wendy’s isn’t playing around. An anonymous tipster found a chicken bone in his Wendy’s sandwich, and got taken very seriously when he reported it.

Woman Finds Tiny Mammal Vertebra In Peanut M&M

Woman Finds Tiny Mammal Vertebra In Peanut M&M

A woman in Atlanta bit into a blue peanut M&M and discovered a tiny, blackened bone, probably from a nut obsessed animal who crept into the M&M to eat the peanut, then died of remorse. A Mars rep told the customer it was probably just a peanut twig. Whatever; by our estimations, this animal is most likely smaller than a peanut M&M, but has a comically wide and very short neck. Hmm, maybe we should instead ask an expert to deduce where this bone came from, which is what the customer did.

Excessive Fluoride Turns Americans Into Commies

Excessive Fluoride Turns Americans Into Commies

We’ve always known that the adding of fluoride to our water supply is an insidious Communist plot, hatched by the diabolical mind of Kruschev himself. Government officials fiercely denied it, but they would, shadow puppets of the Soviet regime and all. Those of us in the know did not have our fears assuaged by the Soviet Union’s supposed dissolution. After all, that is just what they wanted us to think.