We’ve just found a tech repair service worse than the Geek Squad. [More]
It’s all well and good to let your father help out around the family funeral home, but if he doesn’t have an embalming license—and is maybe too handy with an electric saw—keep him away from the important duties. A South Carolina funeral home just had its license revoked because four years ago the owner’s father sawed the legs off a 6′ 7″ body to make it fit in the casket. The owner didn’t tell the family at the time, and they only found out about it recently when an ex-employee told them. (See below for links to cool funk music—yes, it’s related to this post!)
Mirosiichenko said his company would not employ debt collectors to get its money back if people refused to repay, and promised no physical violence. Signatories only have to give their first name and do not show any documents. “If they don’t give it back, what can you do? They won’t have a soul, that’s all.”
Our commenter Zorantor discovered a weird, uh, can you call this an Easter egg?, buried at the bottom of a Craigslist post last night:
A swarm of bees gathered yesterday outside the GameStop in Union Square, possibly to demand a higher trade-in value for their games. Store employees were trapped inside for hours and eventually hung a sign reading: “Look! … closed due to bee infestation.”
Target continues its rebranding as the Duchamp of retail stores, with this receipt that indicates savings where no savings ever existed. Or perhaps multi-dimensional savings; we can’t pretend to know what Target sees when it stares into the void. Mark notes, “The cookies were on sale, as indicated. The cascade, I had a coupon for it to be free. Total savings should be $4.23. The receipt says $7.37. Maybe it’s a conspiracy since it is the Love Field (near the airport) in Dallas where Southwest flies only 737s.” That’s as good an explanation as any, Mark. Maybe you should work for Target?
Either this Burger King in Miami takes the competition really, really seriously, or the owner is into some pretty freaky s#@t. The store gets bonus absurdity points for framing it so handsomely.
Seriously, what’s up with them? Their new ad features an oven that begs a Quiznos employee to “put it in me, Scott,” as the camera pans over what it calls a Toasty Torpedo. There’s also a subliminal flash of a periscope jutting up from the flames at one point, as our eagle-eyed reader Bbender pointed out.
Last week, we wondered whether Tentacle Grape soda was a real product or a funny/tasteless joke that had turned into a scam, since people had placed orders for it with real cash and had yet to see any product. A reader named Harley emailed us to say a box of the soda just arrived at his address today, along with a condom, naturally. Because that’s just classy. He adds, “I can’t comment on the taste as I haven’t yet tried it, but I don’t think I’ll be using the condom.” Click through for a bigger pic.
If you’re a pet store employee, probably the only thing worse than opening up a shipment of live tropical fish to find them dead is opening up a shipment of live tropical fish to find a human body intended for a research facility in a neighboring town. That’s what happened at a Pets Plus in Philadelphia yesterday, and US Airways says the mixup was caused by a “verbal miscommunication between a delivery driver and the cargo representative” and that they’re deeply sorry.
The Caylee Anthony “tribute” dolls are back up for sale, according to the company’s “tribute” website. So far, we can’t find a way to actually buy them. We’re loaded up with “Caylee Sunshine” bracelets and tees, however. That should creep out all the parents in Park Slope. [CayleeDoll.com] (Thanks to Craig!)
A woman in Atlanta bit into a blue peanut M&M and discovered a tiny, blackened bone, probably from a nut obsessed animal who crept into the M&M to eat the peanut, then died of remorse. A Mars rep told the customer it was probably just a peanut twig. Whatever; by our estimations, this animal is most likely smaller than a peanut M&M, but has a comically wide and very short neck. Hmm, maybe we should instead ask an expert to deduce where this bone came from, which is what the customer did.
Maybe it was the hooch, or maybe it was the fact that he was missing his TMZ, but a 70-year-old man in Missouri was arrested yesterday for unlawful use of a firearm after he shot up his TV. According to Minneapolis/St. Paul news station KARE11, he “was angry that he had lost his cable, and was unable to get his new DTV converter to work properly.” According to his wife, he had been drinking.
Furries rejoice! Andy at NonToxicReviews is covering Toy Fair in NYC this week, and he’s just uploaded some footage of the latest in the unending parade of Elmo merchandise: vibrating, giggling gloves that you can wear. We’re almost afraid to see the videos that are going to start popping up once these hit the market.
Joseph Milano, the owner of Goombah’s Pizza in Palm Coast, Florida—and no, we’re not making up that name—was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after he struck a customer in the face with a gun, then leaped over the counter and began beating up the customer and his roomate. The man had ordered a takeout calzone, and was at the counter asking for a refund because he said the calzone had been prepared incorrectly. Wait, is this a theme restaurant? Update: Yeah, it sorta is: it turns out the owner is a former hitman for the mafia.