(YouTube)

Black Bear Has Absolutely No Problem Knocking Santa Claus Out

Hide your snowmen, hide your reindeer and get Santa Claus somewhere safe: Mother Nature might not agree with your taste in lawn ornaments and as such, has zero problems whatsoever with totally mucking up your holiday display. [More]

(Mike Matney)

Park Rangers: Taking A “Bear Selfie” Is Dangerous And You Should Stop It Right Now

No matter how many times you’ve watched The Jungle Book and thought about how great it would be to be friends with Baloo, it’s a movie and forcing a bear to be your friend is not a good idea. Neither is chasing one down in the wild so you can score the perfect selfie. Because, yes, that is now a thing; a very, very dangerous phenomena that rangers have had to warn people to stop doing. [More]

(KGW.com)

Lone Bear Cub Seals His Fate To Forever Live Among Humans After Strolling Through Rite Aid

Listen, denizens of the animal kingdom: I know it looks like we humans have got it made, what with large roofed structures filled with food and other sundries a wild creature might want to get into. But beware, little bears, because once you stroll through a Rite Aid, you can never go back to the wild. [More]

Lottery Winner Wears A Bright Yellow Bear Costume To Collect $85M Reward, As One Does

Lottery Winner Wears A Bright Yellow Bear Costume To Collect $85M Reward, As One Does

Look around at all the lottery winners you’ve seen on TV in the United States — a smiling person, human in features, not covered in bright fur. We are tamer than tame when compared with the tradition of dressing up in crazy costumes to claim lottery winnings in China, like a guy who just wore a huge, bright yellow bear costume to pick up his check for $85 million. [More]

Canada Post Can’t Deliver Your Package Due To Bears

Canada Post Can’t Deliver Your Package Due To Bears

There are all kinds of reasons why the post office may not be able to deliver your package today: maybe it requires a signature and you’re not home. Maybe the post office can’t get access to your apartment building, or can’t get in the gate. Or your mail carrier ran away because your home is apparently guarded by a bear. [More]

(YouTube)

Fundraising Group Sells $1,500 Jeans Featuring Denim Ripped By Lions, Tigers & Bears (Oh My)

Can’t take a selfie with a big cat, due to bans on the practice or the unavailability of an obliging lion? Wildlife fans with deep pockets were able to get perhaps the next best thing to a photo, after one animal fundraising group auctioned off jeans featuring denim ripped apart by wild animals. [More]

(New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection)

Dumpster Diving Bear Cub Rescued After Getting Cookie Jar Stuck On Its Head

While the relationship between Mother Nature and the Human World might be getting a bit too cozy, turning wild animals into bargoers and birthday bashers, which while adorable, is not good for either party involved, it’s still pretty adorable to imagine a bear cub with a cookie jar stuck on its head getting a big rescue. [More]

(boldsheep)

Bear Crashes Through Skylight, Eats Cupcakes For Boy’s Birthday Party

Uninvited guests who crash parties and eat all the treats are the absolute worst, am I right? Darn treat scarfers! But a black bear took it to a literal extreme in Alaska, falling through a home’s skylight only to land in the middle of preparations for a kid’s birthday party. And he was rude enough to gobble up as many cupcakes as he could get his paws on, to boot. [More]

(KTOO.org)

Bear Behaves Better Than Most Unwanted Bar Guests When Asked To Leave The Premises

Underage drinkers, rowdy customers and other troublemakers are often tossed out of bars, because many people don’t respect a polite request. But bears? Bears are okay, it turns out. Particularly one that exited a bar after the bartender told it to go out. You’d make any grandma proud of your manners, bears. [More]

(CBS Denver)

Restaurant Drives Away Dumpster-Diving Bear With Spike Strips

Vandals kept moving the dumpsters behind a Colorado Springs restaurant and rifling through the trash, so the owners set up surveillance cameras to catch the culprits. The vandals turned out to be a bear pushing the trash containers around and pawing through them. The restaurant decided to drive the bear away using boards spiked with nails. [More]

Bear Is In The Mood For German Food, Walks Off With Restaurant’s Dumpster

Bear Is In The Mood For German Food, Walks Off With Restaurant’s Dumpster

The German restaurant Edelweiss in Colorado Springs, Colorado isn’t a takeout place, but don’t tell that to the bear who decided that their dumpster made a suitable takeout container. A surveillance camera caught the critter pushing the trash receptacle out of frame. Being a bear, this was about as easy for her as it would be for a human to push around a fully loaded shopping cart. [More]

If A Bear Is Going To Break Into A Candy Shop, He Can At Least Be A Very Careful Marauder

If A Bear Is Going To Break Into A Candy Shop, He Can At Least Be A Very Careful Marauder

Unlike other animals with bad reputations when it comes to visiting stores with say, delicate products, we’re seeing quite an uptick in generally well-mannered bears dropping by retail establishments without doing any damage. A bear in Colorado had a bit of a sweet tooth recently and broke into a candy store to satisfy it while managing to be very tidy about his looting. [More]

New Hampshire Fish And Game Warns That Bears Dig Your Bird Feeders

New Hampshire Fish And Game Warns That Bears Dig Your Bird Feeders

Looking to frighten viewers into putting away their bird feeders, the New Hampshire Fish and Game Department warns you that bears are looking to romp into your yard and tear into them. [More]

Bear Wanders In Wisconsin Grocery Store, Chills In Beer Department

Bear Wanders In Wisconsin Grocery Store, Chills In Beer Department

We know that it’s not good for bears to be be too dependent on human food, but one black bear in Wisconsin took things even farther, wandering inside a grocery store, heading straight for the liquor department, and taking a leisurely nap on a shelf in the beer cooler.

Super Genius Bear Thwarts BearVault 500 Canister

Super Genius Bear Thwarts BearVault 500 Canister

If you plan on going camping in the bear-infested badlands known as the Adirondacks (note: any place with a bear is infested with bears as far as I’m concerned), don’t bother packing your food in the supposedly bear-proof BearVault 500. Although it’s been rigorously tested by grizzlies at a California zoo and at Yellowstone National Park, there’s apparently an unnaturally smart—perhaps even octopus-smart—125-pound black bear in upstate New York who has figured out how to open it.

Palin Takes Protecting Polar Bears "Very Seriously"

Palin Takes Protecting Polar Bears "Very Seriously"

For the sake of balance, vis-à-vis Obama’s Taking It Seriously, here’s one for Sarah Palin.

Bear Breaks Into Circuit City, Has As Much Luck Locating An Employee As You Do

Bear Breaks Into Circuit City, Has As Much Luck Locating An Employee As You Do

Colorado Springs police say that the vandal who broke into a closed Circuit City wasn’t trying to steal electronics — it was a confused black bear.

Stephen Colbert Tastes Like "Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Waffle Cone Pieces & a Caramel Swirl"

Stephen Colbert Tastes Like "Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Waffle Cone Pieces & a Caramel Swirl"

Ben and Jerry’s is releasing Stephen Colbert flavored ice cream. Is this a fact? Certainly not. It may be truth, however. Expect more info in April. Watch out for Bears. —MEGHANN MARCO