Walmart Bananas Now Come With Pinching Scorpions

Walmart Bananas Now Come With Pinching Scorpions

When you examine the bananas in the produce aisle of your local Walmart, one is usually looking at the ripeness of the fruit. But one man found out the hard way, you should probably look for scorpions (and deadly Brazilian spiders), too. [More]

You Cannot Grow Bananas In Ohio

You Cannot Grow Bananas In Ohio

Bananas thrive in a subtropical climate: a place where the temperature is warm, the humidity is high, and there’s about twelve hours of sunlight per day. You know, like Ohio. [More]

Don’t Put Your Bread In The Fridge & Other Important Food Storage Tips

(photo: liz west)

We’ve all got a somewhat innate sense of where to store the foods we eat in our modern cultures — you’re not going to stick your ice cream in the pantry and expect it to stay frozen, or freeze your fresh apples. But what about butter — countertop or refrigerator? Should I really use that “eggs” slot on the inside of my fridge door? Answer us, oh kitchen gods! [More]

There Are Easier Ways To Get A Banana Than Crashing Your Car Into A Gas Station

There Are Easier Ways To Get A Banana Than Crashing Your Car Into A Gas Station

Brazen. Reckless. Pretty much a waste of time. You can use any of those words to describe a theft that seems so utterly pointless that you’ve got to wonder why anyone went to the effort to pull it off. Because buying a banana for what, a quarter? That’s a lot easier than ramming a gas station with your car to steal one. [More]

(SHOTbySUSAN)

Deadly Spiders Ambush Family From Within A Bunch Of Supermarket Bananas

It’s looking like a bad week to be a banana: Either you’re getting slathered in mustard and cheese and stuck in an oven, or a family of spiders decides to nest all over you and freak a family out. [More]

Talking to your banana like a phone might not do much, but it's fun.(giarose)

5 Tips To Save Your Food From Getting Gross

The kitchen can turn from a bastion of culinary hopes and dreams bursting to the seams with fresh food into a sad wasteland of ruined recipes and deflated expectations if you don’t eat your groceries quickly enough. But there’s no need to resign yourself to that fate, friends. You can save your food if you know how. [More]

(Twitter)

There’s always money in the banana stand, and there’s always publicity in setting up a global network of banana stands to promote the Netflix-exclusive new season of “Arrested Development.”An actual Bluth’s Frozen Banana stand is currently open for business, popping up in various spots in London. On Monday, it will come to New  York. After that? Who knows? [More]

Man Who Lost $2600 In Carnival Game Claims He’s Not As Stupid As You Think He Is

Man Who Lost $2600 In Carnival Game Claims He’s Not As Stupid As You Think He Is

The man who invested $2600 in winning an Xbox Kinect at a New Hampshire carnival is not as stupid as you think he is, okay? In a recent interview, he elaborated on the news reports on him, explaining that the nefarious carny who took his money had assured him that he would receive all of his money back in exchange for attracting a huge crowd around the game. It was only after he returned to the booth and only got $600 back that he realized something was wrong. [More]

Banana, sliced.

If You Find Using A Butter Knife Difficult And Dangerous, The Banana Slicer Is For You

In our hectic modern world, it’s difficult to find time in the day to pick up a butter knife and slice up a banana. I eat at least once sliced-up banana with peanut butter every day, and know this feeling well. That’s why someone decided to invent the Banana Slicer, which chops your banana into uniform slices with a single stroke. Because apparently that’s something that people want. [More]

Deadly Fungus Could Eat Up All The Bananas Before You Can Buy Them

Deadly Fungus Could Eat Up All The Bananas Before You Can Buy Them

Those delicious yellow-peeled tasty fruits you slice over your cereal every morning might be in trouble: Scientists are warning of a banana-pocalypse heading to South America at some point in the near future. [More]

Are You A Pro-Sumer? Let Bill Quain, PhD, Show You How!

Are You A Pro-Sumer? Let Bill Quain, PhD, Show You How!

Amway! There, we just saved you the trouble of reading Pro-Sumer Power!, Bill Quain’s riveting get-rich-quick book from 2000, which Alan Scherstuhl found in a thrift store recently and recaps for your amusement over at the Village Voice. You see, producers make money. Consumers spend money. And Pro-sumers make money while they spend. Still not clear? You’re a banana when you should be some sort of banana-gorilla hybrid.

Japan, Crazy For Bananas, Gets Crazy Bananaman Commercials

Japan, Crazy For Bananas, Gets Crazy Bananaman Commercials

A series of madcap ads for Dole bananas airing in Japan shows a Banana Man who grows CGI bananas out his head and hands and can shoot them at banana-loving bystanders. Why, oh why? The explanation, and more video, inside…

http://consumerist.com/2009/01/28/save-money-by-polishing-your/

Save money by polishing your shoes with a banana. Monkeys have been doing it for millennia. [Huffington Post] (Thanks to daveburdick !)

Mom Finds Scorpion In Bananas

Mom Finds Scorpion In Bananas

A young mom found an Israeli Gold scorpion in a pile of bananas she picked up from ASDA, a UK supermarket chain owned by Walmart.

Bananas Represent Everything That Is Wrong With Our Food System

Bananas Represent Everything That Is Wrong With Our Food System

Ever wonder why bananas are the cheapest fruit in the supermarket? It makes no sense. They’re grown thousands of miles away by steely imperialist multinational corporations, and spoil within two weeks. A Times Op-Ed argues that bananas are on their way out, and may disappear entirely from store shelves in the next twenty years.

Safe Banana

Safe Banana

Have you ever taken your bannana to work, only to open your lunch sack and find the fruit bruised and squidgy?

Yes, We Have No Bananas!

Bad news, you monkeys! The banana is going extinct. A plantainless dystopia awaits where banana bread beer goes depressingly unmanufcatured and the banana hammock becomes the zucchini sling.