(Lisa Brewster)

New Jersey Legislation Would Create Student Loan Lottery To Let You Gamble Away Your Debt

While lottery proceeds may do an awful lot of good for state coffers, the odds of winning are microscopically small, and anyone who has lived in a poverty-stricken neighborhood has likely seen people who can’t afford to lose any money throwing away what little they have on a nose hair’s chance that they might win something. So why not apply that same model to the $1 trillion student loan debt problem? [More]

3D, Smell-O-Vision & Indoor Weather: Rating The Best & Worst Movie Theater Innovations

(Mike Mozart)

Summer blockbuster season is almost upon us. The months of kicking back in the full-blast air conditioning and watching digitally-created stuff blow up will begin in just a couple of weeks, and at this point, it’s an annual ritual. [More]

Bud Light Deletes Tweet Suggesting You Randomly Pinch People For St. Patrick’s Day

Bud Light Deletes Tweet Suggesting You Randomly Pinch People For St. Patrick’s Day

Today is the day some people celebrate the legacy of St. Patrick by wearing green, wearing shamrock antennae, and — if you’re a drunken, mannerless troglodyte — randomly walk around pinching people who didn’t wear green. [More]


Former Home Depot Worker Gets 30 Years For Planting Pipe Bomb In Store

If you want more money from your employer, we don’t recommend threatening to blow up multiple stores, let alone actually planting a bomb to show that you mean business. Not only are your odds of success small, it could also result in a 30-year jail sentence. [More]


American Airlines Flight Forced To Return To Gate After Passenger Discovers “Al-Quida” WiFi Network

While there’s no rule that WiFi networks need to employ good spelling, naming a plane hotspot “Al-Quida Free Terror Nettwork” isn’t going to help anyone. And it’s because of that poorly chosen/thick-headed decision that an American Airlines flight from Los Angeles to London last night had to turn back before it even got started. [More]


Hey Kids, Let’s Not Trick-Or-Treat In This Completely Black Bodysuit

If there’s one problem with kids, it’s that cars can easily see them and avoid hitting them, especially at night. Wait. That’s wrong. Kids are small and easily overlooked when crossing streets, and never more so than when cloaked completely in black on a dark Halloween night. [More]

FTC: You Cannot Lose Weight By Wearing Caffeinated Underpants

FTC: You Cannot Lose Weight By Wearing Caffeinated Underpants

Infusing ladies’ undergarments with caffeine does not make them weight loss aids, as it turns out. This news may not come as a surprise to most of us, but two companies were trying to sell just such a product with the claim that it would indeed have a slimming effect. The not-so-magical underwear has made one thing significantly smaller, though: the bank accounts of the two companies in question, which have reached a $1.5 million settlement with the Federal Trade Commission. [More]

(via Facebook)

Dept. Store Sorry For Selling Decidedly Unfunny Rape Joke Shirt

There are certain topics that don’t lend themselves to jokey T-shirts, and rape is pretty high on that list. Yet that didn’t stop one department store chain in the Philippines from selling a rape-joke shirt that even the most jaded person would find cringe-worthy. [More]

If You Dream Of Playing Piano While Shucking Clams, We Know A Place That’s Hiring

If You Dream Of Playing Piano While Shucking Clams, We Know A Place That’s Hiring

Did you put yourself through music school by working at a seafood restaurant? Well now you can put both your piano skills and your clam-shucking chops to good use at the same time. [More]

Police: Man Called In Bomb Threat To Southwest Airlines To Ruin Ex’s Vacation

(Chris Wilson)

There are plenty of immature ways that you could — but most definitely shouldn’t — get revenge on an ex. While most of them are, at worst, misdemeanors, a Seattle man is facing a much bigger penalty for allegedly calling in a bogus bomb threat to Southwest Airlines just to get back at an ex-girlfriend. [More]

Survey: Over Half The Country Thinks The Comcast-Time Warner Cable Merger Is A Terrible Idea

Survey: Over Half The Country Thinks The Comcast-Time Warner Cable Merger Is A Terrible Idea

We here at Consumerist are skeptical at best about Comcast’s bid to merge with Time Warner Cable. From where we sit, the deal looks distinctly anticompetitive and likely to harm consumers. Plenty of other folks agree, but not just lawmakers and advocacy organizations. It turns out, over half the country thinks this is a bad idea. [More]

Mayor Resigns Under Cloud Of Poop-Throwing Scandal

Mayor Resigns Under Cloud Of Poop-Throwing Scandal

Tens days after being caught on camera tossing a bag of dog poop onto the lawn of a man in his neighborhood, the mayor of an upscale Southern California town has tendered his resignation. [More]

(Photo: Yelp user Maki K.)

Amazingly, Diners Didn’t Want To Eat At Toilet-Themed Restaurant

A restaurant whose entire bathroom-related theme — complete with toilets as seats, dishes with hilariously fecal names, and miniature toilet-shaped bowls for your food — seems to have been cooked up by a potty-obsessed two-year-old has closed down after an eight-month run, suggesting that most people would rather put foods in their mouths without thinking about how that food will ultimately exit their bodies. [More]

“Watch Dogs” Video Game PR Stunt Leads To Newsroom Evacuation

“Watch Dogs” Video Game PR Stunt Leads To Newsroom Evacuation

Back in the day when I worked at places where writers were allowed to receive free promotional crap (mostly DVDs and vodka… so much bad vodka) from PR companies, I got all manner of bizarre stuff, the strangest probably being a box that allegedly contained a few of Troy Polamalu’s signature curly locks. But if I received a tiny unmarked safe with a note to “check your voicemail,” and which beeped when I tried to open it, I might have gotten freaked out enough to call the police. [More]

The sign outside this Montreal restaurant translates into English as, "Pick-up line of the day: does this tissue smell like chloroform?"

Restaurant Defends Chloroform/Rape Sign As “Harmless”

Because nothing lures in potential diners to your restaurant than a rape joke, an eatery in Montreal has defended its decision to display such a joke in public on a sandwich board outside its front door. [More]

This is a screengrab from actual CCTV footage of the teen attempting to rob a 7-Eleven with a chainsaw and, yes, a flower-pot helmet.

‘Dead Rising’ Comes To Life As Chainsaw-Wielding Man Robs Store While Wearing Flower Pot Helmet

I can’t tell you the hours I’ve spent chainsawing paths through hordes of undead, or bashing them over the head with flower pots, in Dead Rising on my Xbox, but I never imagined that someone would manage to make this over-the-top game a reality by combining the two objects and using them in the robbery of a convenience store. [More]

(Photo: Twitter user @DelSchilling)

Sonic Is Really, Really Sorry About That “Scalp The Redskins/Feed Them Whiskey” Sign

Someone at a Missouri Sonic Drive-in chose to express both their support for the Kansas City Chiefs and their utter ignorance by using the restaurant’s sign to post a message that combined nearly every offensive Native American stereotype into one garbled statement. [More]

Not cool, say British folks. Not at all.

UK Retailers Realize “Mental Patient” & “Psycho Ward” Also Aren’t Great Halloween Costumes

While we’re dealing with Naughty Leopard costumes for kids that don’t even remotely resemble actual leopards, British retailers have their own hands full with controversial Halloween outfits. Across the pond they’re called “Fancy Dress Costumes” and with names like “Psycho Ward” and “Mental Patient,” retailers selling them are coming under fire from the mental health community. [More]