One Way To Stop Obnoxious Cellphone Conversations In Public? Have Your Own

One Way To Stop Obnoxious Cellphone Conversations In Public? Have Your Own

You know what’s more annoying than having to listen to an obnoxiously loud phone conversation in a public place? Trying to take part in an obnoxiously loud phone conversation while someone else is doing the same thing next to you, a lesson served on yappers at Disneyland by a comedian who of course, filmed the whole thing. [More]

(The.Comedian)

Man Freed After 15 Years In Prison For Robbery Returns To Same Store, Allegedly Robs It Again

We’ve shaken our heads and sighed at criminals who return to the scene of the crime too soon after committing it to not get caught, but perhaps it needs to be said: Just don’t ever go back, ever. And certainly not if you’re planning on committing the same dastardly deed that got you locked up in the first place. [More]

Obnoxious Xbox One Users To Start Being Warned About Being Doofuses

Obnoxious Xbox One Users To Start Being Warned About Being Doofuses

While there are millions of video game players who are perfectly nice people, there are enough jerks out there to give the gaming community a bad name, so much so that some folks refuse to play multiplayer games just to avoid dealing with the schoolyard bullying that can sometimes come over the Internet. Last year, Microsoft promised that its new Xbox One console would have a way to minimize jerks’ access to online gaming, and the company says it is now ready to start issuing warnings to users who behave badly. [More]

(Symantec)

New Malware Activated By Text Message Makes ATMs Start Spitting Cash

Let’s not pretend that the sight of an ATM spewing cash out of its mouth like it hit the oil can just a little too hard last night isn’t something we’ve all dreamed of, though knowing full well that we’d never steal in real life. But it’s far from a dream for cybercriminals who have figured out how to trigger malware infections that get ATMs to spit cash just by sending a text message. [More]

Do Not Trust The Alleged Podiatrist Asking To See Your Lickable Toes At Walmart

Do Not Trust The Alleged Podiatrist Asking To See Your Lickable Toes At Walmart

Hide your toes, hide your feet — there are people out there willing to pose as podiatry students in order to get a peep at your de-socked digits… and then trying to get a taste of them. A Walmart customer in North Carolina told police she had a very unsettling encounter with a man who convinced her to remove her socks and shoes at the store. [More]

(Clearwater PD)

Tourist Admits She Did A “Stupid Thing,” Returns $5,500 Shoe Stolen From Hulk Hogan Store

Shh, ease your worried minds, my sweet little lambs! We can all rest easy in our beds tonight knowing that the unforgivable crime of stealing a shoe autographed by wrestler Hulk Hogan has been remedied. A tourist who snagged the shoe from the wrestler’s Florida store has fessed up to her infraction. [More]

Local Official Admits Stealing 1.8M Quarters By The Fistful From Parking Meter Coin Storage

Local Official Admits Stealing 1.8M Quarters By The Fistful From Parking Meter Coin Storage

When you sacrifice up your hard-earned quarters in order to secure a parking spot, it might be annoying, but at least that money ostensibly goes toward bettering your community via the local government. Which is why it’s totally uncool for a town official to loot the parking meter coin storage like it’s his own personal piggybank. [More]

(analogkid281)

Family Accused Of Stealing 19 Identities To Buy $56,000 Worth Of Home Depot Gift Cards

As the ancient Sumerian saying goes: The family that steals a whole lot of identities in order to ring up a slew of fraudulent charges together, gets arrested together. A couple, their adult children and a daughter-in-law have all been nabbed by cops, accused of an identity theft scheme that brought in $56,000 worth of goods at Home Depot. [More]

Angry McDonald’s Customer Kicks In Glass Door, Pepper Sprays Staff

(In case you hadn’t guessed, the above video contains some NSFW utterances, so turn down your volume or put on headphones before everyone at work notices). We think we’ve found a soulmate for the Florida woman who torched her dining companion’s car after he refused to buy her a McFlurry. It’s this guy in Galway, Ireland, who kicked in the glass door of his local Golden Arches and then repeatedly pepper-sprayed the people inside. [More]

After Being Denied McFlurry, Woman Sets Car On Fire In McDonald’s Parking Lot

After Being Denied McFlurry, Woman Sets Car On Fire In McDonald’s Parking Lot

While I personally think the McFlurry is nothing special (probably because I spent the better part of my adolescence making top-notch Blizzards at Dairy Queen), even the world’s most ardent fan of the McDonald’s dessert would probably agree that it isn’t anything worth setting someone else’s car on fire over. [More]

Police: Etiquette Vigilante Attacked Taco Bell Customer For Burping, Not Saying “Excuse Me”

Police: Etiquette Vigilante Attacked Taco Bell Customer For Burping, Not Saying “Excuse Me”

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard someone burp in a fast food restaurant and not say “excuse me” or something similar, I’d have very heavy pockets and be on my way to the bank to cash those nickels in lickety-split. But one apparent sticker for etiquette doesn’t quite “get” the fast food scene, and turned violent when he couldn’t handle the rude belching of a fellow Taco Bell customer who failed to pardon himself. [More]

(CBS Baltimore)

Add “Setting Off Firecrackers” To List Of Things Never To Do In A Crowded Movie Theater

We all know not to even yell “fire!” in a movie theater – but to actually create an explosion by setting off homemade firecrackers, especially in light of deadly movie theater shootings in recent years, that’s just really an awful thing to do. [More]

(ABC 6)

Woman Accused Of Biting Off Fellow Shopper’s Finger Over Mall Parking Space

We always thought mall parking lots were asphalt jungles in more of a “It’s tough out there to find a parking spot” kind of way. Not an actual predator vs. prey, “I will bite off your finger if you take my spot” kind of way. On that note, guess what terrifying thing happened in a mall parking lot in New Jersey? [More]

Drunken Groom’s Fight With Bride Forces Emergency Landing On The Way To Honeymoon

Drunken Groom’s Fight With Bride Forces Emergency Landing On The Way To Honeymoon

Ah, romance is in the air! Or it might’ve been if the groom hadn’t allegedly gotten drunk and fought with the bride on their way to the the honeymoon, forcing a Delta Air Lines plane to make an emergency landing. Sounds like the honeymoon was over before it ever got a chance to start. [More]

This man and his burrito were not involved. (dallas.com)

Punching A Guy In The Head For Refusing To Give You A Bite Of His Burrito Is Very Uncool

In today’s society, there’s a reasonable expectation to food rights. And by that I mean, when you buy yourself something tasty to eat, a member of the general public previously unknown to you has no right to expect a bite of your food. Which is why that it’s very bad form to punch a stranger in the head because he won’t share his burrito. [More]

An Imagined Dialogue Inspired By Video Of Two Bumbling Would-Be Burger King Burglars

An Imagined Dialogue Inspired By Video Of Two Bumbling Would-Be Burger King Burglars

As long as there are fast food restaurants, there will be attempted burglaries. And because not all crimes happen when there are people around, we’re especially thankful to the Philadelphia Burger King that caught two bumbling buddies who forced their way inside in the wee hours of the morning and proceed to generally be incompetent. [More]

(david takes photos)

Family Accused Of Traveling The Country To Shoplift $7M Worth Of Merchandise

I don’t know about you, but when my family went on trips together it involved long car rides listening to books on tape, spending a week or hiking in the woods and other fun memories. None of those involved traveling together out of state to shoplift around $7 million in merchandise over decades, like one set of parents and their adult daughter group are accused of doing. [More]

The note left for a female WestJet pilot by a passenger who thinks it's still 1960 (and who would probably have still been considered a jerk then too). See below for the back of the note.

Passenger Tells Female Pilot That Cockpit Is “No Place For A Woman”

Of all the things that airline passengers should care about — schedules, airfares, fees, delays, weather, that guy across the row from you who refuses to put his shoes back on — one thing that shouldn’t matter at all is the pilot’s gender, as I’m pretty sure the Y chromosome contains no special aviation-related genetic information. And even if you do think that only brawny men named Rex or Ace should be flying your airplane, what is the point of leaving a nutty, angry note when your pilot happens to be a woman? [More]