(Van in LA)

Group Of 20 Thieves Hit Samsung Factory, Grab Millions Worth Of Electronics

Like one of those heist movies starring a well-dressed, smirking George Clooney and his BFF Brad Pitt, a group of about 20 thieves overpowered workers at a Samsung factory in Brazil and managed to make off with about 40,000 phones, tablets, computers and other electronics. [More]

(pstardesign)

Cops: Driver Who Fled Scene Of Crash Was “Too Busy Drinking” To Take A Breath Test

There are many ways you can get in trouble for drinking and driving, and refusing the take a test to prove otherwise because you’re too busy guzzling booze, well, that might be one of the most direct routes to incarceration. [More]

(PepOmint)

Police: Man Swipes 72 Pounds Of Whole Frozen Chickens, Drops’Em Off At Day Care

Let’s get one thing straight — day care is meant for children, not for stashing things you don’t have time to take care of at the moment. For example: 72 pounds worth of whole, frozen chickens that police say one man swiped from a truck and decided to hide at a local day care. [More]

Not the floor in question. (okbeatnik)

Bank Closes Temporarily After Customer Calmly Leaves A Few Steaming Deposits On The Floor

A branch of Barclays bank in the U.K. had to shut down temporarily yesterday, after a customer walked in and reportedly made a few stinky deposits. Fine, I won’t dance around it: He pooped. On the floor. Multiple times. [More]

(Alan Rappa)

Former Chick-fil-A Worker Accused Of Robbing KFC Drive-Thru Window At Gunpoint

Either something’s afoot in the world of chicken fast food restaurants, or it’s just a coincidence that a man accused of robbing a KFC at gunpoint happened to be an ex-employee of another chicken joint, Chick-fil-A. [More]

Man Accused Of Stealing Bird Costume, Wearing It To Bar’s “Wing Night”

Man Accused Of Stealing Bird Costume, Wearing It To Bar’s “Wing Night”

It was “Wing Night” at a bar in Kansas City last night, but we’re pretty sure that doesn’t mean that wings were mandatory. That’s what we would have assumed, anyway, but one bar patron acquired a bird costume before stopping in. Because…well, it’s not all that clear why. What is clear is that he didn’t have permission to borrow the feathered hat and cape. [More]

Police: Man Called In Bomb Threat To Southwest Airlines To Ruin Ex’s Vacation

(Chris Wilson)

There are plenty of immature ways that you could — but most definitely shouldn’t — get revenge on an ex. While most of them are, at worst, misdemeanors, a Seattle man is facing a much bigger penalty for allegedly calling in a bogus bomb threat to Southwest Airlines just to get back at an ex-girlfriend. [More]

(frankieleon)

Cops: Guy Punched Woman In The Face For The Crime Of Blocking Whataburger’s Drive-Thru Line

If there’s one thing we know here at Consumerist it’s that not only is violence against your fellow man and consumer never the answer, but it’s also a lose-lose situation. For example, a man who so badly wanted to get his car into the drive-thru line at a Texas Whataburger, that cops say he punched a woman who got in his way right in her face. And does he have any Whataburger food after that? Nope. No one wins. [More]

(WITI News)

4-Year-Old Busts A Hole In Her Babysitter’s Fake Home Invasion Story

We all know the hijinks that ensue when no one tells mom the babysitter is dead (reach back to Christina Applegate’s cinematic efforts c. early 1990s), but one 4-year-old girl wasn’t about to let her caretaker get away with lying and take her iPod and piggybank. Nope. So when her babysitter said there’d been a break-in at the home, this little girl busted the whole plot wide open. [More]

(Alan Rappa)

Police: Woman Who Led Cops On High-Speed Chase Claims She Paid For Stolen Car With Meth

While you could possibly convince police that you didn’t know the car you bought was stolen, admitting that ou paid for it with meth will still probably land you in a spot of trouble. Especially after you’ve worn out cops with a high-speed chase exceeding 100 mph. That won’t help, either. [More]

(WMC-TV)

Zoo Bans Visitor Because It Isn’t A Good Idea To Climb Into The Lions’ Den Armed With Cookies

While we’re unaware of any existing maxim that says lions can be tamed with a package of sweet treats, the Memphis Zoo is definitely against any plan involving visitors hopping enclosure barriers to offer up cookies to the big cats. That’s why the zoo has banned one woman, who allegedly climbed into the actual lions’ den while singing and bearing snacks. [More]

(Rusty Clark)

Philadelphia’s Swiss Cheese Defiler Pleads Guilty In Cheese-Defiling Harassment Case, Gets Probation

The words are almost too painful to write — I can’t help but think of that poor cheese — but Philadelphia’s so called “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has pleaded guilty to publicly defiling Swiss cheese. Or rather, he pleaded guilty to two counts of indecent exposure and four counts of harassment. [More]

Not the cookies with coke. (kenfagerdotcom)

Officials Bust Traveler With $50,000 Worth Of Cocaine Cookies At Newark Airport

If there’s one thing law enforcement will never expect, it’s illegal drugs hidden inside of food. Believing that sentence is exactly how you can end up busted for baking $50,000 worth of cocaine inside cookies, people. Because the very first place people often think to stash their stashes is inside seemingly innocent edibles. [More]

(Ron Dauphin)

There Must Be Something In The Water: Yet Another Tulsa Shopper Accused Of Masturbating In Walmart

What’s going on in Tulsa, OK? Is there some kind of aphrodisiac in the water, or are the Walmart stores there just inexplicably attractive to the public self-pleasuring set? In the second time in a matter of months, a Tulsa shopper has been accused of getting down to business in the middle of a Walmart. [More]

Just strolling around after landing. (KPIX 5)

Teen Who Survived 5-Hour Flight In Airplane’s Wheel Well Speaks Up: It Wasn’t Scary

The first thing that comes to mind when imagining soaring 40,000 feet in the air with nothing between you and death by super long fall/asphyxiation/hypothermia, is total and complete fear. But heck, the teenager who hitched a ride on a five-hour flight from San Jose to Maui inside a Hawaiian Airlines plane’s wheel well says he wasn’t even scared, even if his body did probably shut down into an almost cryogenic state. [More]

(kenfagerdotcom)

Officials: Man Was Killed Because He Tried To Pay Off $3K Debt With Star Wars Figurines

If we could all just choose our own currency, you better believe I’d be paying off all my debts in bobby pins found while vacuuming. But because we can’t pick our preferred methods of payment, officials say one man killed another who allegedly tried to pay off his $3,000 debt by way of Star Wars figurines. [More]

(WBALTV.com)

Funny How Cops Don’t Like It When Drunk, Unruly Taco Bell Customers Impersonate Police Officers

It’s Tuesday, which must mean it’s the day that all the bad consumers come out to play in the news with tales of their inebriated shenanigans at fast food restaurants. In this installment, police say a guy in a Mercedes refused to roll forward to pick up his order at the Taco Bell drive-thru, telling cops who arrived on the scene that it was fine, see, because he’s a cop, too. Except not. [More]

(ABC News)

JetBlue Flight Diverted After Passenger Wakes Up, Starts “Flipping Out”

It seems JetBlue had its hands full this weekend, what with the news of a little girl wetting herself in her seat after she was told she couldn’t use her plane’s restroom while it was on the tarmac, as well as an incident that diverted another flight when a passenger reportedly woke up and started “flipping out.” [More]