(Mike Matney Photography)

Trucker Abandons Trailer With 35K Pounds Of Raw Chicken After Failed Ransom Attempt

Warning: If the thought of rotting chicken is something that will put you off your lunch, stop reading now. Because law enforcement near Missoula, MT have quite a bit of a smelly headache to deal with, after a trucker abandoned a trailer packed with 35,000 pounds of raw chicken at a truck stop on Tuesday. [More]

(triterion)

Virgin America Flight Diverted After Passenger Masturbates, Tries To Open Exit Door

A Virgin America flight from Boston to Los Angeles had to stop in Nebraska on the way. Because while self-love is perfectly acceptable and healthy, it should not be attempted on a plane full of people, and followed by an attempt to exit out the emergency door. You know, planes being public and in the air and all. [More]

9% Of Americans Are Bad People, Think It’s OK To Use Phone At Movies

9% Of Americans Are Bad People, Think It’s OK To Use Phone At Movies

If you’re reading this in your office or on the train, take a second to look around you. About 1-in-10 of the people you see are horrible human beings who think it’s okay to use their phones during a movie. And if you’re reading this at the movie theater, there’s a good chance you’re one of these people. [More]

Not the tacos in question, they just look yummy. (ChrisGoldNY)

Drug Ring Bust Exposes Food Truck Selling Tacos With A Side Of Meth

It’s no Los Pollos Hermanos, but Mexican food and methamphetamines have met once again, this time outside the fictional bounds of Breaking Bad, on a taco truck in Denver. Of 17 people there recently indicted on charges related to trafficking/selling meth, one was accused of shilling meth right from the taco truck where she worked. [More]

You Won’t Get Through Airport Security With 58 Bricks Of Pot, 2 Guns And 350 Rounds Of Ammo, FYI

(TSA)

Don’t let the headline mislead you: It’s pretty much guaranteed you won’t get through airport security with 57 bricks of pot and any amount of guns and ammo. But the point here is that someone actually tried to hide all those very prohibited objects in luggage. Transportation Security Administration agents put the kibosh on that over the weekend at John F. Kennedy International Airport in NYC. [More]

(kevindean)

Failed Stowaway Tries To Hide In Plane’s Wheel Well For Free Ride From Orlando To NYC

Just because one person survived flying miles above the ground in the wheel well of an airplane doesn’t mean everyone should try it. Luckily for a shirtless, barefoot man who police say tried to stowaway in a JetBlue plane’s wheel, he never left the ground. [More]

Another unrelated fountain that you cannot bathe in. (TKT)

No, You Can’t Shampoo Your Hair With Mayo (Or Anything) In Public Fountains

Sure, public fountains look just like giant showers, but the thing is, they’re not. They’re available to the public for viewing, listening to, sometimes throwing money into, but definitely not for bathing. Not with mayonnaise in your hair, not for any other reason. [More]

(Morton Fox)

KFC Workers Attacked By Cake-Wielding Maniac

Angry fast food customers are choosing to go after employees at Yum! Brands restaurant chains with some bizarre weapons. First there was the Taco Bell worker who took a hot sauce-laced soda to the face and now comes a report of a KFC that had to call the police on a cake-thrower. [More]

Pizza Shop Worker Admits It Was “Stupid” To Rub His Junk On Customer’s Pie

(Coyoty)

Today in Awful Things I’d Rather Not Know Happened But Well, Here We Are: A customer at a take-and-bake pizza shop has accused an 18-year-old worker of rubbing his downstairs bits on the pie as he got his order ready. The reason? He was allegedly annoyed at having to take the order right before the store closed for the night. [More]

(afagen)

City In China Introduces Slow Lane For Texting Pedestrians

As annoying as it is to walk behind someone blindly stumbling forward while texting on their mobile device, the very idea of a slow lane designated just for that bumbling purpose might very well be even more annoying. But that’s kind of the point of a new texting lane one city in China introduced recently. [More]

(Misfit Photographer)

Woman Attacked For Keeping Taco Bell Customer From Getting Breakfast

If you show up at a Taco Bell with only a few minutes to go before the deadline for placing breakfast orders, don’t get mad if a delay in front of you prevents you from getting the food you crave. And, more importantly, don’t pursue and then assault the customer you blame for preventing you from ordering breakfast. [More]

(zonaphoto)

Southwest Passenger Detained After Creating WiFi Hotspot Names Like “Bomb On Board”

Authorities detained a passenger aboard a Southwest flight that landed at Seattle-Tacoma Airport yesterday on its way to Denver, after reports that he created a bunch of creepy names for his in-flight WiFi hotspot, naming it “Southwest – Bomb on Board” and making comments about the attractiveness of flight attendants, among other things. [More]

(SHOTbySUSAN)

Okay, Enough Of This Trend Already: Thief Wipes Out Preschoolers’ Pumpkin Patch

First, it was corn stolen from farmers. Next, it was a class of fifth graders learning the harsh lessons of life when someone swiped their entire onion crop. And now we’ve gotten to the sad, low point of some awful, horrible, no good very bad person or persons stealing all the pumpkins from a patch belonging to preschoolers. What’s next, stealing milk from babies?!? [More]

(SchuminWeb)

Accused Walmart Shoplifter Flees Very, Very Slowly On Motorized Shopping Cart

Usually when someone commits a retail crime, it’s of the utmost importance to get away from the scene of the infraction as quickly as possible. But what if you just don’t feel in the mood to walk? That’s the reason a woman accused of shoplifting at a Michigan Walmart gave for boosting a motorized shopping cart to scoot herself away from the store. [More]

(digitized chaos)

Man Decides Ferrari Is So Nice, He Allegedly Steals It Twice

It must be pretty cool to own a luxury sports car, enough so that one man allegedly couldn’t give up the chase to have one in his possession. Police say a California man didn’t just swipe a Ferrari once, but twice, after abandoning it the first time, only to seek it out later at the impound lot. [More]

(frankieleon)

Police: So A Man Breaks Into A Bar… (And Takes A Nap On The Kitchen Table)

I know, I know, I ruined the joke’s punchline. But that’s because it isn’t that great of a joke to begin with, it’s just ridiculous that someone would break into a business just to take a little snooze, as Pennsylvania State Police say one man did recently. [More]

(Renee Rendler-Kaplan)

Some Jerk Stole Entire Crop Of 100 Onions Grown By Fifth-Graders

By now, we’re unfortunately used to the idea that grown adults who should definitely know better will steal from children — the Girl Scouts have been dealing with cookie-related thefts every season and it’s always a bummer. But come on, swiping an entire crop of onions grown by elementary school kids? That is just low, jerk. Whoever you are. [More]

Police: Two Guys Soaked Shelves Of Walmart Merchandise With Deer Urine

(SchuminWeb)

I can’t help it — I’ve been struggling and now it’s time to let it out: “Kids these days! Spraying doe urine everywhere, ugh!” Exasperation is the only emotion I can imagine — okay, and extreme disgust — at hearing the news that two youngish guys allegedly soaked the shelves of their local Walmart in deer urine. [More]