(CBS Los Angeles)

Enough Already: Thieves Take Off With 50-Year-Old Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Statue

While it’s understandable that where there is good will and cheer toward man, there’s also going to be those grumpy, awful, bah-humbugging Grinches out there who want to ruin anything nice about the holiday season. Already today we’ve heard of Christmas tree thieves, and now comes the news that not even 50-year-old Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer statues are safe, despite the giving nature of the season. [More]

(Viseskogen)

Bunch Of Grinches Take $2K In Christmas Trees From Cut-Your-Own Farm Without Paying

Everybody’s got to make a living, and for some people, sometimes the most fruitful times to ply your trade only happen for a short period every year. That’s why a Christmas tree farm in Maine that lets customers cut down their own trees is suffering when it should be the most rewarding seasons — it seems the Grinches are out in force, with many people stealing the $40 trees and wreaths instead of paying. [More]

(YouTube)

Couple Tired Of Holiday Package Thefts Fills Box With Excrement, Sets Up Camera

A warning to those among you who might be tempted to swipe a package from the piles covering doorsteps right now, at the height of the holiday shopping season: You might not open it to find anything you’ll like, and that includes a box filled with poop. [More]

(ChrisGoldNY)

Blaming The Beer-Battered Fish You Ate Before Driving Will Not Make A Failed Sobriety Test Disappear

The thing about eating food that’s been cooked in booze, is that it’s been cooked. And because you usually cook with heat, any alcohol that started out in that liquid is that still remains by the time you eat it is not enough to make you drunk. But basic science didn’t keep one Wisconsin driver from brewing up a boozy food excuse for failing a field sobriety. [More]

(Alan Rappa)

Police Free Man Trapped Inside Mall Wall After He Accidentally Floods Restaurant, Hotel Lobby

An alleged squatter’s paradise inside a Denver mall became a prison Tuesday night, when police say a man hiding in the ceiling fell, tripped a water main that then flooded a restaurant and hotel lobby below, and got stuck inside a wall. [More]

(smohundro)

USPS Worker Allegedly Swiped 2,000 Pieces Of Mail Out Of Sheer Boredom

Eating all the candy out of the glass jar on your desk. Spilling hot coffee on your computer while trying to beat your personal solitaire record. There are bad things you can do out of boredom at work, but one U.S. Postal Service worker admits she turned to taking as many as 2,000 pieces of mail she was supposed to deliver just to have something to do. [More]

(via The Smoking Gun)

New Entrants For Santa’s “Naughty” List Emerge After Neighbor Catches Teens Stealing UPS Packages

Tis the season: While American shoppers have been buying presents for loved ones in a quest to secure a spot on Santa Claus’ “Nice” list, there’s also the “Naughty” side of the population, set on snatching those gifts like the patron saint of holiday swiping, the Grinch himself. [More]

Security Video Shows Thief Apparently Hypnotizing Shopkeeper Before Picking His Pockets

Security Video Shows Thief Apparently Hypnotizing Shopkeeper Before Picking His Pockets

The next time I find myself suddenly without any cash, I’m now going to be convinced that it was a hypnotizing thief lightening my load. Because yes, that can apparently happen: Police in London believe a shopkeeper might’ve been put in a trance by a guy caught on CCTV who then picked his pockets. [More]

McDonald’s Customer & His Cat Pepper-Sprayed By Other Customer

McDonald’s Customer & His Cat Pepper-Sprayed By Other Customer

Anyone who has worked in retail — especially foodservice — is familiar with pesky customers who have to repeatedly be told to leave the store. But one such standoff in Seattle apparently escalated quickly to the point where at least two adults and a cat were all doused in pepper spray. [More]

(JeepersMedia)

Police Arrest Kohl’s Shopper Accused Of Wandering The Store While Masturbating

Shopping can already be a stressful experience in the holidays, what with people racing to grab the best deals, filling up parking lots and elbowing each other in the Frozen aisle. But police say one Kohl’s shopper upped the bad shopping experience ante when he wandered around the story earlier this week, private bits out and masturbating as he strolled. [More]

(Pedestrian Photographer)

Traveler Arrested For Allegedly Slamming Bag Into Elderly TSA Agent During Carry-On Dispute

Listen, we’re all looking for a little wiggle room when it comes to increasingly more cramped commercial flights, but when airport workers tell you something isn’t gonna fit as a carry-on, that is not the time to turn up the rage. Logan Airport officials say a man was arrested yesterday at a security checkpoint after allegedly slamming his too-large-to-carry-on backpack into a 74-year-old Transportation Security Administration agent. [More]

(MeneerDijk)

Walmart Shopper Thinks No One Will Notice 6.5 Pounds Of Cow Tongue Shoved In His Pants

We understand that the very act of wearing pants is kind of like adorning your legs in potential pockets — as long as nothing falls out the bottom, you’ve got fabric fit for carrying stuff. But just because you’ve got room in your pants to spare doesn’t mean it’s okay to shove stolen meat (or seafood) down there, as yet another bad consumer has shown us this week. [More]

In search of a meat nap. (KXAN.com)

Police: Man Broke Into Meat Business, Grabbed Some Sausages And Took A Nap

While falling prey to a meat nap attack is not an unheard of phenomenon, police in Austin say a 28-year-old man had the bad idea to break into a local business, steal a couple of sausages and then fall asleep amongst the meat. [More]

(Smacks Well)

1-In-5 Shoppers Has Done Something Awful To Obtain A Coveted Holiday Gift

Because there’s this widely held assumption that people should get the thing they desire most during the holidays, and because a lot of people desire the same things, some holiday shoppers will cross that line between naughty and nice to make sure they check certain items off their shopping lists. [More]

Tourist Fined $25K For Scratching His Initial On Wall Of Roman Colosseum

(athrog)

The thing about the world’s archaeological treasures is that they’re awe-inspiring enough without any kind of extra embellishments. And just in case you are tempted to deface ancient history, perhaps the $24,865 fine one tourist will be paying for carving his initial into the wall of Rome’s Colosseum will change your mind. [More]

(SA_Steve)

Some Jerk Runs Over Guy At McDonald’s Drive-Thru, Grabs Food Before Leaving

It’s bad enough to commit a hit-and-run, but when you’ve got enough time to stop and pick up some grub while you flee, well that’s just a total jerk move. The family of a New York City man who was run over in the McDonald’s drive-thru say they found out the driver stopped long enough to grab his food from the window afterward, instead of calling the police. [More]

(francosmucio)

Naked Man Falls Through Airport Bathroom’s Ceiling, Allegedly Attacks Elderly Man

Whenever someone is naked in public, there are so many questions: When did the clothes come off? Is there a stash nearby? And why would someone decide to crawl around in the ceiling of an airport bathroom in his birthday suit? State police in Boston have arrested a man who fell through the ceiling of a women’s bathroom at Logan Airport, and then allegedly assaulted an elderly man outside the restroom. [More]

(frankieleon)

Texas Postal Worker Accused Of Delivering Meth On His Mail Route

While it might be convenient to tweak one job to allow for working a second at the same time, delivering methamphetamine while out on the postal route is the kind of thing that gets you arrested. A Texas postal worker attempted that kind of illegal multi-tasking, police say, dropping off drugs while doing his mail rounds. [More]