TSA Finds Large Knife Ruining A Batch Of Perfectly Good Enchiladas At California Airport

TSA Finds Large Knife Ruining A Batch Of Perfectly Good Enchiladas At California Airport

Just like my second cousin twice removed Hildy used to say — a sure way to ruin a tasty batch of enchiladas is by hiding a huge knife in it and then trying to get through airport security. At least, she would’ve said that if she existed and knew someone tried to do just that at a Sonoma airport recently. [More]

United Flight From NYC To D.C. Grounded After Security Finds Bomb Threat On Twitter

United Flight From NYC To D.C. Grounded After Security Finds Bomb Threat On Twitter

Earlier this week a Dutch teenager landed in hot water after sending a threatening tweet to American Airlines. While the teen says she was joking, the airline took the threat seriously, as it should have. After a number of copycat tweets, nearly all airlines have been keeping a close eye on social media. That vigilance resulted in a temporarily grounded United Airlines flight Wednesday evening. [More]

(sallyvillarreal)

When You’ve Gotta Go, Don’t Do It On The Alamo — Unless You Like Jail

We’ve all been there — that pressing urge like no other, where your bladder might as well be the Goodyear blimp, insisting you pay attention to its large size and presence and go ahead and micturate already. But don’t drain it on a national landmark, or you’ll be aiming that stream in a prison toilet, as one very bad consumer recently found out. [More]

Sigh.

Teenagers Decide New Cool Thing To Do Is Make Copycat Airline Bomb Threats On Twitter

I don’t envy teenagers — it’s just so hard to keep up with the coolest trends. Like are we still saying “for shizzle?” Are high fives acceptable? But if all your friends started tweeted fake bomb threats to American Airlines just because one Dutch girl did, would you throw yourself off that cliff, too? [More]

"She did what in my bed?!?" (poopoorama)

Another Thing For Airbnb Renters To Worry About? Your Home Turning Into A Brothel

Much like the time your parents got an unexpected phone call that their car now resided upside down in the neighbor’s swimming pool, some Airbnb renters are none too pleased to find their homes have been used for ah, sexual recreation purposes that require police attention. In essence, beware the brothelization of your home. [More]

(The.Comedian)

Detroit Police Bust Shoplifting Ring Accused Of Stealing $15K Of Stuff Per Day

While you might think you know about shoplifting based on that ill-advised stint in middle school when everyone was doing it, cops in Detroit have fried a much bigger fish than your normal grab-and-go thieves: Investigators say they’ve just busted a shoplifting ring responsible for stealing as much as $15,000 worth of merchandise a day and reselling it on the Internet. [More]

(Skakerman)

A BMW With Its Windows Punched Out Is Exactly Why You Don’t Park In Front Of Fire Hydrants

Hey, you rebels out there, thinking you’re just too good for the laws the rest of us live by and decide to park in front of a hydrant. You might want to reconsider because not only could you end up with a destroyed vehicle, but you’re potentially risking lives if firefighters need access to that hydrant. [More]

Guy Games Uber’s Referral System, Racks Up $50K In Free Rides (That He Didn’t Get To Keep)

Guy Games Uber’s Referral System, Racks Up $50K In Free Rides (That He Didn’t Get To Keep)

Much like taking out your parents’ Porsche for a joyride, you can’t get away with doing something you’re not supposed to be doing forever. Like gaming the Uber car service’s referral system by signing up strangers so you can rack up $50,000 in ride credits. [More]

(KCRA.com)

If You Left Your Dangerous Crocodile At The Strip Mall, The Folks At TJ Maxx Know Where He Is

So you’ve already ignored the rule about not buying dangerous, exotic animals like a crocodile and keeping it as a pet. There’s another rule, and it’s all about not leaving said pet at a strip mall. Both of those rules were recently ignored by one bad consumer, leaving a crocodile wandering around by the TJ Maxx at a strip mall, ostensibly looking for an affordable vegan leather purse or something. [More]

Guy Gets His Stolen Laptop Back A Year Later When Suspect Calls Customer Service For Help

Guy Gets His Stolen Laptop Back A Year Later When Suspect Calls Customer Service For Help

In perhaps the only example of when a broken computer is a good thing, a man who had his laptop stolen last year was reunited with his property after the suspected thief called up Apple’s customer support. [More]

Mid-rampage.

Topless Woman Goes On Rampage At McDonald’s In Only A Thong, Stops To Snack

We all know that no shirt and no shoes means no service, and that should probably be extended to “no real pants” after a woman recently trashed a Florida McDonald’s wearing only her skivvies. She then rewarded herself with some self-serve soft-serve ice cream at the end, as one apparently might feel inclined to do after wreaking half-naked havoc. [More]

(NBC Bay Area)

Roving Band Of Miscreants Flipping Over Smart Cars Around San Francisco

Do you live in San Francisco? Cool, I hear it’s a nice city. Oh, do you own a Smart Car? You might want to check outside and see if it’s resting on all four wheels as it’s supposed to, after police say a roving pack of vandals has been going around the city overturning the teensy little vehicles. [More]

(KIRO TV)

Police: Microsoft Worker Took Dozens Of Upskirt Videos Of Fellow Employees

Back in the days of yore, say 1992, if someone wanted to film up a lady’s skirt, it’d be impossible to do without detection, given the bulky video camera and all. But one of the downsides of today’s technology is that peeping toms can peep a lot easier just by angling a tiny camera just so at just the right time. One Microsoft worker is accused of doing that dozens of times to his fellow employees. [More]

(БРАТСТВО)

Burglary Suspect Gets Stuck In Arby’s Ventilation Shaft For 10 Hours (Without Any Sandwiches)

In another reminder of how real life is not like a movie, police in South Carolina say a man trying to sneak into an Arby’s restaurant in the middle of the night through the roof instead found himself stuck inside a ventilation shaft for up to 10 hours… with nary a roast beef sandwich to keep him company. [More]

(WTSP.com)

Do Not Punch Someone For Cutting You In Line At The McDonald’s Drive-Thru

I’m thinking it might be a good idea to just put together a Drive-Thru Customer’s Bill of Rights, wherein all parties agree that in exchange for receiving food through a window, good manners are required. And by good manners I mean not punching your fellow customers in the face, no matter the reason. [More]

Not the Rolex in question. (Skakerman)

Masseuse Admits That Client’s Missing $35K Rolex Is In An, Ahem, Private Location

If the phrase “body cavities” bothers you, you might want to stop reading right now before things get decidedly uncomfortable. Which was the literal situation for a masseuse who told police that a client’s missing $35,000 Rolex could be found stowed away in her nether regions, to put it politely. [More]

Tempting, we know. (plasmadis)

You Don’t Have To Go Home, But You Can’t Stay At Walmart Drinking Beer For 2 Days

Back in the wilder days of my college youth, we knew the fun was over when the bar powers that be came on over the loudspeaker, saying “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” Perhaps a New York Walmart could’ve used such a reminder for a woman accused of trespassing at the store for two days, just chilling out and drinking some beer. [More]

Returning Stuff You Didn’t Buy From Kohl’s For Cash Won’t Go Over Well

Returning Stuff You Didn’t Buy From Kohl’s For Cash Won’t Go Over Well

While we applaud creativity in many endeavors, ripping off a store with a bit of trickery just to get some cash out of the deal is a no-no, clever though it might be. Or in the case of a man accused of scamming a Kohl’s store in St. Louis out of some cash, it’s only a matter of time before your ruse is spoiled. [More]