(Nicholas DiMaio)

World’s Worst Taco Bell Customer Grabs Employee’s Butt Through Drive-Thru Window

We understand that Taco Bell’s sole reason to exist is to sate customers’ gluttonous cravings. But while it’s okay to satisfy your lust for cheese and meat-like product with a burrito, it’s most definitely not okay to give into an idiotic desire to grab a Taco Bell employee’s rear-end. [More]

(Allison)

If You Bring A Baby With You To Shoplift At Walmart, Don’t Leave Her Behind

While we don’t condone theft of any sort, we are aware of the notion that having a baby with you while you shoplift might help create the illusion that you’re not a petty criminal who needs to be watched by store security. But if you get spotted trying to take advantage of some five-finger discounts, leaving that infant behind is incredibly uncool. It will probably also lead the police right to your doorstep. [More]

See all these people who aren't beating each other up or demanding an emergency landing? Let's all be like these people. (photo: Martin Rottler)

This Is Getting Old: Another Flight Diverted Over Reclining Seat Spat

First it was that United flight where a passenger used an illegal device to prevent the person in front of them from reclining. Then an air marshal on an American Airlines flight arrested a traveler who wouldn’t give up on his complaint about the woman in front of him putting her seat back. Delta now continues this trend, diverting a flight that was almost at its destination because one passenger thought her tray table was for napping. [More]

(PepOMint)

A Bunch Of Meanies Are Stealing Corn From Nice People In Connecticut

Just because something isn’t sitting in a store with a price tag on it doesn’t mean it’s free, people. Which is why it’s quite rude that big old meanies have been swiping corn at Connecticut corn farms, not because they’re hungry and in need of a snack, but to sell for 100% profit off the back of a truck. [More]

(Aubrey Arenas)

Couple Accused Of Stealing $16K By Exploiting Debit Card With Magically Increasing Balance

To my knowledge, there has never been an established, official “opposite day,” whereby spending money on products you actually magically increase how much money you have, much less an “opposite bunch of months” where this happens. So when a couple using a debit card that made them richer with every purchase realized what was happening, the legal thing to do would’ve been to pipe up. [More]

(frankieleon)

Taco Bell Bosses Accused Of Forcing Worker To Give Customers Fake Money As Change

We would all be a lot richer if we could each invent our own money but alas, that’s just not how it works (I’d be a millionaire if only I could buy stuff with high fives, sigh). Which is why officials are none too pleased with the operators of two Taco Bell locations in New York, after a worker claimed she was forced to pass fake cash to customers as change. [More]

AirBNB Squatter Brothers Quietly Leave Their Ill-Gotten Condo

AirBNB Squatter Brothers Quietly Leave Their Ill-Gotten Condo

The AirBNB squatter nightmare is over…as far as we know. The owner of the property filed an unlawful detainer notice, which is part of the legal eviction process. While the squatters didn’t respond to that notice before their Monday deadline, instead they quietly left the condo, leaving surprisingly little damage. [More]

(Madeleine Holland)

If someone tries to sell you an 800-pound wok, the police in Wichita, Kansas would like to hear about it. The Associated Press reports that earlier this week, the massive piece of cookware was stolen from the Bamboo Express Asian Cuisine restaurant while it was sitting outside. Moving the wok most likely required more than one person, and police could really use some leads. [Associated Press] (Thanks, Derek!)

This is a person on a Segway. (pbm.)

Norway Marks The Legalization Of Segways With First Drunk-While-Segwaying Arrest

As my cool cousin Charlie once said, laws are made to be broken, man. That’s certainly true in Norway, where someone already got arrested for driving a Segway while under the influence of alcohol a month after the country legalized the electric scooters. This is why you can’t have nice things, Norway. [More]

(KOAT News)

Let’s Guess What Happens If You Drive A Stolen Shopping Scooter To Meet Your Probation Officer

There are many things you can do to make sure you don’t go get in trouble with the law for another go around, but a surefire way to hop right into that hot water again? By boosting a ride and driving it to a meeting with a probation officer. [More]

(Don Hankins)

Woman Accused Of Faking Cancer To Get Donations Arrested On Her Way To Film TV Show

An Illinois woman who’s been accused of pretending both she and her son have cancer in order to scam people out of money was reportedly on her way to film an interview for the Dr. Phil show when cops caught up with her, warrant in hand. [More]

(Pete Feeny)

Reminder: It’s Impolite To Shoot A Deer With An Arrow At Your Local Car Dealership

So you’re at the car dealership perusing vehicles and mulling the difference between Space Ghost Gray and Ghost Rider Gray when fwiiiiiiip! — an arrow zings past and takes down a nearby deer. What an awfully rude customer, you might think. And you’d be right, one car dealership was none too happy when a guy allegedly shot a deer with a bow and arrow on the premises. [More]

(mindclouder)

Traveler Arrested At Airport Because Breast Implants Should Not Be Packed With Cocaine

Though there are plenty of horror stories out there about people getting crazy or dangerous substances implanted by way of dubious medical procedures, stuffing breast implants with cocaine brings things to a whole new level of nuttery. And as it turns out, it’s not a good way to smuggle drugs, as one traveler recently found out. [More]

There’s Really No Way Twitter Can Stop Some Users From Being A-Holes

There’s Really No Way Twitter Can Stop Some Users From Being A-Holes

As you’ve probably heard, in the wake of actor Robin Williams’ death earlier this week, his daughter Zelda Williams was subjected to some particularly nasty messages on Twitter, causing her to close her account on the service rather than have to sort through hurtful, nasty statements from strangers. This is not good news for Twitter, which now has to answer to stockholders. And so the company is saying it’s looking into how to prevent this sort of thing from happening in the future, but there’s a bigger question — is that even possible? [More]

(CBS Denver)

Police Looking For Couple Who Stole 5-Year-Old’s iPod At Frozen Yogurt Store

In the updated-for-the-digital age version of taking candy from a baby, police in Colorado say an adult couple walked off with a five-year-old’s iPod, you know, just because it was there. Yes, we live in a world where there are people who will steal electronics from a kid. Yes, I meant iPod. Yes, people still have iPods. [More]

(frankieleon)

Make It Stop: Second Report This Week Of A Man Groping A Female Passenger On A Flight

It was only yesterday that we were bemoaning the fact that yet again, we had to call attention to a report of a man arrested for molesting a female passenger on a flight. Here we are today with another story — a different man and a different victim, but all too familiar allegations. [More]

(Van in L.A.)

Cops: Suspected Phone Thief Called 9-1-1 Because Victim Wouldn’t Leave Her Alone

Who do you turn to when some stranger is harassing you, refusing to leave you alone? The police, of course. But perhaps not, if the reason this person won’t stop bothering you is that you happened to steal his phone just moments before. Ah, life lessons. [More]

(epicharmus)

Ex-Bank Worker Charged With Insurance Fraud For Claiming PTSD After Robbing Her Workplace

A former manager at a Bank of America branch in California who was already convicted of helping bank robbers steal from her place of employment found herself in even hotter water, after officials said she had the “audacity” to also file a bogus workers’ compensation claim. She said the robbery — which, again, she was in on — left her with post-traumatic stress disorder. [More]