The AP says that the state of Michigan would have $10 million more a year for environmental cleanup if it weren't for people from redeeming money on out-of-state containers.

Michigan is the only state with a dime deposit on all carbonated beverage containers — other states have a nickel deposit on most cans — so people buy drinks in Indiana, Ohio and Wisconsin and redeem the containers in Michigan.

"It's like a rebate, $2.40 a case for pop and beer," said Jim Wanty, president of O & W Inc., a beer distributorship in four Michigan counties near the Ohio state line. O & W lost about $65,000 last year from picking up more returned containers from stores than it had delivered.

The party may soon be over for bottle deposit fraudsters (some of whom are fairly sophisticated and collect and crush millions of cans), thanks to some new technology. The makers of the machines that collect the cans are working on a method to distinguish Michigan containers from out of state ones.

In Maine, requiring an address discourages out-of-state people from taking advantage —

In Maine, a new company has found success with redemption machines that put people's bottle returns in a debit-card-like account that requires personal information initially.

"People who were coming in from out of state aren't willing to put their name and address down saying what their home address is," said Hal Prince, director of the Division of Quality Assurance and Regulations in the Maine Department of Agriculture. "They try to find other ways to redeem them or they take them back home."

Despite the hassle, bottle deposit laws are popular are effective. Michigan says that 97% of containers are recovered.

States find a can of worms in bottle deposit laws [AP]

Here's the situation: Reader Bryan ordered an item from Adorama's Amazon store. After the item shipped, he decided to change the shipping instructions so he could pick up his package at the UPS store. Amazon's policies kept Adorama from changing the instructions on a shipped item, so, after apologizing, Adorama gave Bryan two options: a full refund, or once the item returned undelivered, they could re-ship the item with the right instructions.

Bryan didn't send us his original request, so we'll start with Adorama's response. The writing isn't the clearest, but the content speaks for itself:

hi!

unfurtunaly this is an Amazon order and we wont be able to have you pick it up. I apologized for the inconvenience this may have caused you.

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

Brian responded:

I don't see why it being an amazon order changes anything. It's MY package that I paid for, and paid shipping for. UPS is not able to deliver to my location, all I want is to be able to pick up the package THAT I PAID FOR.

Make it happen, or I'm just returning all of it, and then you'll be refunding my money.

Right off the bat you can tell Bryan is trouble. "Make it happen?" Tell that to a waitress and you'll rightly end up with a drink down your shirt. Let's see how Paola responds:

I apologized for the inconvenience but our contract with Amazon is like that we cant make any changes to the order or have ups hold it for you , if you are unable to be at the address you provide with your order for shipping the order will come back to us and we will give you the money back for the item.

have a nice day!!

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

Paola provided a direct explanation to Bryan's question. Adorama's contract with Amazon prevents them from changing the shipping address. Simple enough, but Bryan kept pushing:

Well, I guess you just lost some money. I have NEVER had any issues with getting UPS to hold a package that I have bought from Amazon.

I'm so sorry for the inconvenience maybe you place the order through Amazon and it was ship by another company. I don't want you to feel like if we don't appreciated your business but unfurtunaly we can not hold the pack. if the order was place directly from us we wouldn't have this problem.

again I apologies.

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

Another fairly direct response from Paola, and a way to avoid the problem in the future. Fine.

How Bryan choose to advance his case?

Please learn proper grammar and english. It would make your messages much easier to understand.

At this point, Paola could have stopped responding. The substantive interaction was over. If we were in Paola's place, we wouldn't have been able to respond with anything approximating a polite response. And as we'll see, advancing the conversation doesn't help anyone, even if the intent is to help an unreasonable customer.

Oh thank you.... For the compliment... am just trying to give you good customer service. at least someone is paying attention to your problem.

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

See, this is what I'm talking about. Re-read your last 2 messages. They are written poorly. "unfurtunaly" is spelled "unfortunately".

All this poor grammar and spelling lets me know is that the employees at this place are incompetent, and that I would never order anything from you again. No one is paying attention to my problem and I am NOT receiving "good customer service". If I was receiving "good customer service", my problem would have already been taken care of when I called yesterday. I can't believe all this hassle is being put into this situation. All I want to do is pick up my package; this should not be an impossible task.

You fail. I will never order anything from adorama again.

Are you a teacher? All I m trying to do is help you and "unfortunately" you don't see that you are just looking for mistakes in the grammar. I hope you have a very nice day!

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

Yes. I am a teacher. I teach 4th grade, and they spell better than you

and can complete sentences using proper punctuation. It reflects poorly on you and the company you work for. If you can't do this, maybe this is the wrong job for you. You are doing NOTHING to help me. If you want to help me, offer to overnight me another camera with no restrictions on the package, so that I can pick it up at the UPS office. Sitting here and arguing with me does nothing to fix the problem.

Today, I will be contacting any management/owners that I can get ahold of and informing them of the awful customer service I've received. If you can't solve the problem and just type gibberish to me, then you are of no use in your current place of employment.

With the respect you deserve let me explain you something. I was trying to assist you since the first time that you call , but you just say that you wanted your money back and started complaining about my grammar instead of telling me that you wanted the item expedited, is very frustrating for me as a customer service representative that is doing her best to assist you, to only get this kind of email in response like if I was one of your students . Am really sorry this is going the way is going, you are the first customer I get that is a "teacher" and act like a student.

If you want the item I will be more than happy to place a new order for you, I will need to charge you for the item again and am supposed to charge you for shipping as well because I don't see where we mess up with your order we send it to the address that you provide Amazon for shipping. if you will like I can ask my manager as a first time courtesy to give you free shipping. And if you want fell free to contact my manager to complaint about my customer service skills her ext# is 2219 her name is Leah, I am sure she will be happy to listen to you and read our emails....thank you and have a nice day!!!!!!

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

Can we all agree this is a reasonable solution? Paola offered to resend the item, possibly even waive the shipping. And she volunteered her manager's number and rightly suggested that any third party might find Bryan's behavior offensive.

So how does Bryan respond to the olive branch?

Wow. I have no clue what any of that says since your sentences are all run-ons and really really long. Go back to school.

The situation deteriorates from there.

I just feel sorry for the kids you teach ... You are very disrespectful, maybe my problem can be solve going back to school but in your case you will have to be born again.. Respect others is easy and make others life easier too. Here at Adorama we treat our customers with respect because that's how they treat us. but that's not you case. Have a good life.

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

Spend less time telling me to be 'born again' and more time studying an English book. Religion is just a crutch for the weak.
Sent from my BlackBerry(r) smartphone with SprintSpeed

Be happy!! Have a nice day!! "teacher"

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

I was happy today until I had to deal with you. And for some reason you decide to bring religion into this. I'm making phone calls right now, doing my best to make sure that you don't have a job by the end of the day.
Sent from my BlackBerry(r) smartphone with SprintSpeed

Ok she is waiting for your call ext#2219 leah .. bye

PAOLA
Adorama customer service

Okay.... Here's an awesome email exchange between an adorama.com camera customer service rep and myself. Yeah, I'm an asshole, but this ignorant woman actually suggested that I become "born again".

All this because they put all kinds of restrictions on MY package which won't allow me to pick up my package at the UPS office.

Enjoy!

You sure got one thing right, Bryan.

Clearly the exchange could have been handled better by everyone. The telecoms and other large companies use rigid customer service manuals to limit similar debacles. Their customer service is like Plinko: your complaint's destiny is governed by its fall down a maddening decision tree. Bryan would have been dismissed with a simple: "We cannot accommodate your request at this time. Please be assured, your business is important to us." We prefer companies where employees can treat us not just as consumers, but as people.

When dealing with any company, always treat customer service representatives as you would want to be treated yourself. The whole Golden Rule thing and all. Not only is it common decency, but it's the single best way to get exactly you want.

(Photo: paolo màrgari)

The "vast majority'' of travelers use good judgment in what they look at, said Tim Smith, a spokesman for Fort Worth, Texas-based American. 'Customers viewing inappropriate material on board a flight is not a new scenario for our crews, who have always managed this issue with great success.'

[...]

American's attendants don't want to become ``moral policemen,'' said Frank Bastien, a spokesman at the union's headquarters. Attendants also don't want to be exposed to laptop images of violence or pornography, he said.

"It's a real concern to our members,'' Bastien said. American "put on filters that will prevent people from making Wi-Fi phone calls, and they don't seem to have any qualms about doing that. Where's the protection for other things out there?''

Ars Technica correctly points out that passengers have always been able to smuggle aboard promotional materials for the Mile High Club, mostly without incident.

What's worse: sitting next to a guy watching porn, or sitting next to a guy yabbering away on Skype?

American Air Attendants Urge Filters to Bar Web Porn [Bloomberg via Ars Technica]
(Photo: Getty)

The district manager of Open Pantry Citgo, 11216 W. Blue Mound Road, reported that 4,909 gallons of gas, valued at $19,374, was removed from the underground tanks sometime between July 16 and Aug. 13.

He told police the pressure of the tanks, supply and feed lines have been tested with no indication of cracks or seeping, and the petroleum supply company has verified the delivered amounts.

Police in Wauwatosa thing the culprits were customers who prepaid for their gas and then tampered with the pumps in order to "acquire more gas than the pumps should allow." Naturally, they didn't explain the details of this technique.

Gas Thieves Take Nearly 5,000 Gallons [WauwatosaNow] (Thanks, Austin!)
(Photo: northernplateguy )

Depending on the vigilance of the landlord, a seasoned serial evictee like Getzow can get away with a minimum of 45 days and sometimes up to a year of free rent. The actual number of serial evictees operating in San Francisco is difficult to track, but some attorneys who specialize in representing landlords estimate there are between 20 and 100.

Landlord attorney Clifford Fried of Wiegel and Fried says these types of tenants know they're unlikely to be punished for withholding rent. "You can go into a store and steal a loaf of bread and do a year in jail," he says, "but you can steal months of rent from a landlord and never do any time in jail. It's a great crime to commit because there are no penalties."

The evictees are well versed in the ins and outs of the San Francisco eviction process. They take advantage of the all the programs and aid that the city provides to its residents who are facing eviction. Of course, they're only a small percentage of the renters that seek help:

Carolyn Gold directs the San Francisco Volunteer Legal Services Program, which manages a group of 10 volunteer attorneys who help tenants in the 30 or so eviction cases that come through Superior Court each week. She says she sees very few serial evictees like Getzow. "In fact, what we see more of is serial evictors, landlords who continually come up with ruses for one eviction after another," she says. "There are lots of tenants who have gotten themselves into a tight spot for one reason or another — they're elderly, they have medical conditions, lost jobs — things that are beyond their control. I see it every day, and it's very, very sad."

The serial evictee profiled in the story, however, is an especially nasty one. His last run in with a landlord ended in charges for assault:

According to police, Getzow came into the Holy Grail on Feb. 10 at about 1:30 a.m. complaining about noise and attempting to goad O'Reilly into a fight. O'Reilly refused and tried to get Getzow to leave. Bartender Patricia Herlihy was so alarmed at Getzow's behavior that she began taking photographs of him with a digital camera. Getzow approached her and shoved or pushed the camera into her face, SFPD Sergeant Neville Gittens says.

Herlihy was taken to the hospital, Gittens says, though the police report contains no information about the extent of her injuries. Getzow retreated to a nearby crepe restaurant, where he was still in such an agitated state when the police arrived that it took several officers to restrain him, the report says.

How Renters Work the System to Live for Free in One of America's Most Expensive Cities [SFWeekly]

According to the Jackson Hole Star-Tribune, a 55 year-old man was arrested for suspicion of property damage and disturbing the peace after he became enraged and threw a monitor through a glass door and into the mall food court.

"Officers responded to the theater just after 7 p.m. and found Vaughn sweating profusely near the shoe department at JC Penney," says the paper.

The man had apparently requested a refund and when the theater employees offered him a "voucher." He then started yelling at employees and other customers that he was being ripped off.

A customer says that the man shouted that he was going to get his money's worth before grabbing the monitor and hurling it into the food court.

The officer who arrested the man says that he told him that "he had done the right thing in the war against injustice in the world."

Well, no.

Man fights movie theater 'injustice,', lands in jail [Star-Tribune] (Thanks, A.!)
(Photo: Getty)

From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

"I'll tell you the truth," a criminal complaint quotes an apparently inebriated Keith Walendowski. "I got pissed because my lawn mower wouldn't start, so I got my shotgun and shot it.

"I can do that. It's my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want," Walendowski told police.

Well, no. Anyway, even if shooting your lawnmower is legal in your area, its certainly not recommended.

Dick Wagner of Wagner's Garden Mart, 6075 N. Green Bay Ave., said shooting the mower didn't help Walendowski's odds of getting it repaired.

"Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty," he said.

Yep, it sure will, Dick.

Man charged with shooting lawn mower [JS Online] (Thanks, Erik!)

The man was taken into custody and later released on bail. A Delta spokesperson told the AP that they will be filing charges against the man for interfering with flight crewmembers. Well, at least he was paying attention during the "safety lecture," right?

Angry flier uses emergency slide to exit Delta jet [USAToday](Thanks, David!)
(Photo: balmes )

A doctor at the hospital, William T. Kumprey, was tired of seeing Farnam.

Farnam had been to the hospital several times in the last month or so. He had used his fake heart attack routine at Silk — an exotic lounge — at several restaurants and while getting out of various cabs.

The doctor told Farnam he would call the police the next time he caught him faking the clutch of death to avoid paying his bills.

Farnam let it slip that he had, earlier that very day, after a hearty meal for which he did not pay, absconded to Froedtert Hospital.

The doctor called police.

The 52-year-old faces nine months in jail and a $10,000 fine if convicted.

Cardiac arrest: Man faked heart attack when dinner bill arrived [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

"It can cost up to $2,000 each time it happens, minimum," said Merow.

U-Haul dealers must now find a way to counter this new water scam while also continuing to battle traditional gas scams. They are on full alert.

"We have increased security, increased cameras at all our locations, increased patrols," said Merow.

Merow says the thefts have become brazen. Just this past weekend someone stood on the other side of the U-Haul parking lot fence in broad daylight and fed through a siphon hose, trying to get at the gas inside the U-Haul trucks.

Um, don't siphon gas from U-Haul trucks, either. This little non-recession thingy is turning ugly.

U-Haul: Crooked renters refill gas tank with water [KOMO]

(Photo: Mikey G Ottawa)

Meet Christina Elizabeth Szele of Woodside, NY. She was charged with assault and interference with flight attendants after she caused such a disturbance that her flight was diverted to Colorado. According to an FBI agent who witness the event, Szele yelled "obscenities and racial epithets" when a flight attendant tried to keep her from smoking, prompting the flight attendants to restrain her in plastic cuffs... Szele then broke through the cuffs, and commenced punching.

Szele had been drinking and doesn't remember any of it, says the AP.

Woman accused of punching JetBlue flight attendant [Examiner]
(Photo: So Cal Metro )

From KCRA:

Police later found Craig at a nearby fast food restaurant with eight fireplace logs with her. She told officers that she was behind the fires and said she woke up that morning wanting to do something about high gas prices.

Police said they don't know why Craig targeted the Starbucks.

Women Set Fires Over High Gas Prices [KCRA]
(Photo: mandysuemccaul )

UPDATE: We found a reenactment of the incident on YouTube. (NSFW, language)

When asked by Curry's defense attorney how he recognized Curry from 11 months ago, Smith said it was her glasses and her voice.

Curry later testified that she doesn't wear glasses and produced a driver's license as evidence.

Upset because she felt targeted, Curry said she began to raise her voice as Smith raised his.

Curry said when the other employee placed the drink on the counter, she grasped it, then let go when Smith grabbed it and tried to pull it toward him. He spilled the drink on himself, she said, when she let go of the cup.

"I was very much upset," she said. "He accused me of going to a store in Jantzen Beach and in his words running a scam. I was offended. . . . I don't need to steal for or scam for a $4.20 drink."

Smith called 911 after the incident, claiming that "a customer [just] assaulted me with a hot drink." We'd like to think that Curry would be entitled to a freebie if her iced tea was served scalding hot.

Starbucks' corporate office essentially sided with Curry, saying: "Providing great customer service is part of (the company's) commitment and if a drink isn't perfect, we want customers to let us know and we'll make it right."

Dispute over spilled Starbucks mocha ends up in Portland court [The Oregonian]
(Photo: ka3vo)

The resulting news story has what may be the greatest sentence ever written:

The personal check was not made out to Mr. Fuller and when the bank contacted the check owner, the woman said she did not write a check for $360 billion.

Really? She didn't? You'll be shocked to hear that Mr. Fuller was also charged with unlawful carrying of a weapon and possession of marijuana. When asked why he was tying to cash a check for such a large amount, Fuller told police that the check "was given to him by his girlfriend’s mother to start a record business." No word on whether Mr. Fuller and his girlfriend are still dating.

Man accused of trying to cash check for $360,000,000,000 [Dallas Morning News]

PREVIOUSLY: Man On Trial For Knocking Down Walmart Receipt Checker

From the TSA's website:

The X-ray image of a box cutter inside Benjamin Baines Jr.'s backpack caught the attention of federal officers Sunday morning at Tampa International Airport.

But it was the packaging that really jolted them: a hollowed-out book that hid the razor-sharp tool. Also inside the backpack: a Koran, a Holy Bible and rap music lyrics referencing police, drugs and guns.

Baines, 21, of Clearwater told investigators he forgot the box cutter was inside the copy of Fear Itself when he packed his bag for a trip to Las Vegas, states a report by Tampa International Airport police.

He was charged with carrying a concealed weapon, a misdemeanor. He pleaded guilty Monday in Hillsborough County court and received a 30-day jail sentence. The U.S. Attorney's Office is looking into the case but has not filed charges.

"What raises our concern is when an item is artfully concealed," said Christopher White, a spokesman for the Transportation Security Administration. "It's different than a box cutter inside a backpack."

TIA Finds Cutter Hidden in Book [TSA]

When fire rescue personnel arrived, they cut off Martin's shirt to treat him, and three more counterfeit $100 bills fell out, the document said.

In addition, two more fake $100 bills and one counterfeit $20 bill were found under Martin's armpit, officers said.

Police: Fake $100 Bills Had Lincoln's Image [WDSU]
(Photo: Wikipedia)

Petrie, a Canadian citizen, managed to order five vodka drinks and two glasses of wine from two different flight attendants before AA cut him off during his flight from Seattle to Miami. After making some suggestive remarks to female flight attendants and other female passengers, Petrie is reported to have said: "you don't [deleted] decide how much vodka I can drink . . . I'll meet you off the airplane." He also grabbed a female passenger's butt, because that's the type of classy guy he is.

Petrie then made his way into the airplane's lavatory where he began loudly pounding on the airplane's walls. At this point the flight was diverted to Denver so Petrie could be arrested.

From The Province:

Russell Petrie, 30, struck a plea bargain that will likely result in a sentence of six to 12 months and up to a $10,000 fine, according to Colorado court documents.

Maximum penalty for the charge is 20 years and a $250,000 fine.
Petrie will also be asked to reimburse American Airlines $7,757 for the cost of landing the Seattle-Miami flight in Denver.

In exchange for a guilty plea, a charge of sexual assault was dropped against Petrie, who also grabbed the buttocks of a female passenger on the flight, according to an agreed statement of facts filed in court.

Drunken airline passenger makes plea bargain [Canada.com]
(Photo:whatatravisty)

According to WLKY, this advice could have been of use to an 18-year-old woman who accidentally deposited a bag of meth along with a check in a Washington ATM. A bank employee found the drugs and called the police.

And yes, it was a credit union.

Woman Accused Of Depositing Meth At Bank [WKLY]
(Photo:Todd Kravos)

Mr. McKenzie (allegedly) dresses up as a Target employee, wearing a red polo shirt and khaki pants, and pretends to work at the store before grabbing the iPods.

"North Miami Beach police officials say he has extensive knowledge of Target procedures and has even assisted customers," reports CBS4.

Police say Mr. McKenzie has stolen $17,000 worth of iPods.

Fake Target Clerk Steals $17K In iPods [CBS4 via Switched]

The group was responsible for anywhere from $60-$100 million in pilfered goods.

The investigation started with two shoplifters at a Publix supermarket on Shepherd Road in Lakeland on June 26, Judd said at a news conference in Lakeland on Thursday afternoon.

Rita Maddox and Elisha Cordle of Dover stole nearly $4,500 worth of Oil of Olay products that day, placing them into special bags designed to conceal stolen goods, Judd said.

To law enforcement it seemed like a regular shoplifting incident and the two were charged with grand theft.

But after speaking with confidential sources, Judd said, a sheriff's detective uncovered something more - the single largest organized crime ring of its kind in Polk County Sheriff's Office history.

The (below) video of a press conference with Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd shows some of the items the group is accused of stealing, as well as surveillance footage of the thefts taking place. Sheriff Judd says they were so smooth and practiced that in a store supervisor walks right next to them as they're stealing.

Here's the best part—the crime-ring had good customer service:

Theresa Parrish, an eBay member since March 2002, sold some of the items out of her eBay store, Lola's Discount Health and Beauty, officers said.

Parrish explained the business in her seller's profile: "We buy overstock, discontinued and shelf pull items by the case or pallet.

"Some things we almost always stock on a regular basis and other items we only get on a one-time basis ... check back regularly as there is always something new up for auction here!"

More than 10,000 positive feedback points were left for Parrish from happy eBay members who purchased items such as razor blades, moisturizer and even bras. Buyers left praise for the quality of the products and speed of delivery.

Bozman, of Elyrai, lit the rack of lingerie on fire, but security cameras caught her red-handed, a police report said.

[...]

Security cameras caught Bozman fidgeting with the inside of her jacket as she wandered through the shoe department. No one was near her in the lingerie section when the rack went up in flames, the police report said.

Elyria fire Lt. David Street said store employees grabbed fire extinguishers and put out the flames. No one was hurt, but the store was evacuated and closed for more than an hour while the ventilation system cleared away smoke that hung over the aisles.

Lingerie sizzling — literally [The Plain Dealer]

The man's injuries were not life-threatening, and he was taken to the hospital and treated. He's expected to face a misdemeanor shoplifting charge, police told the Grand Rapids Press.

"The man was taken to the hospital," said Meijer spokesman Frank Giuliano. "We are cooperating with the investigation by police."

Police said the suspect has a record of retail fraud.

"I saw a man laying down on the mat by the carts, a knife by him with blood on the full blade of the knife," shopper Heather Dodd said. "It was not a dull kitchen knife or a sharp butcher's knife. It was somewhere in between.

"Someone was holding him down, so I just walked around him, grabbed my cart, made sure everything was OK and got out of the way."

Alleged shoplifter falls on knives [MLive] (Thanks, s!)
(Photo:meghannmarco)

Gastonia Man in Jail for Stolen Steak [WBTV] (Thanks To Chris)

It says Bloomingdale's sales receipts were the key element of Ms. Ng's alleged scheme.

After a shopper made a purchase, she would regenerate the receipt. She would then make phony merchandise returns and use the credit to create the gift cards, according to the complaint. Between September 26 and October 3, Ms. Ng is said to have used 36 separate sales receipts to create the fraudulent cards.

A loss prevention officer at Bloomingdale's informed police of Ms. Ng's scam, and she was arrested on November 7. At the time of her arrest, police found six of the gift cards in Ms. Ng's wallet, according to the complaint.

Ms. Ng was charged with a series of crimes at her arraignment the following day, including third-degree grand larceny and second-degree forgery, an official at the Manhattan district attorney's office said.

Bloomingdale's Saleswoman Is Prosecuted [NY Sun]
(Photo:scalleja)

A Maryland jury has rejected a negligence lawsuit brought by a woman who claims she was attacked by a nesting goose while at a shopping center.

Suzanne Webster claimed the shopping center and a pool store, Contemporary Watercrafters, didn't do enough to protect the public from the nesting goose.

Retail Store Not Responsible For Goose Attack [WJZ via Fark]
(Photo:Kevin)

Two men have been stealing money from 27 Coke and other vending machines throughout the Lehigh Valley, says WFMZ. The locks on the machines are not broken or picked, so the men must have a key. If you know who they are, tell the Bethlehem Township Police Department.

As an added incentive.. Coca-Cola is offering a year supply of Coke products to anyone with info leading to an arrest.

Coca-Cola Offering Reward for Capture of Vending Machine Vandals [WFMZ]

It's a fact.

From Reuters:

A passenger was forced off a Ryanair flight from Rome to Milan because she refused to move her metre-long plush crocodile which was blocking an emergency exit, airport sources said Wednesday.

The flight, delayed by the squabble between the airline flight attendant and the passenger, finally took off after she got off the plane, along with her inanimate crocodile.

Cuddly croc forces passenger off flight [Reuters]
(Photo:drewski2112)

From (our favorite NBC affiliate) NBC Augusta:

The Aiken County Sheriff's Office arrested an Augusta man who tried to open a bank account with a counterfeit $1,000,000 bill.

Alexander D. Smith is charged with disorderly conduct and forgery.

Investigators say Smith gave the counterfeit bill to a teller at Regions Bank in Clearwater, South Carolina. The employee refused to accept the bill and called the sheriff's office.

Officers say Smith also purchased several cartons of cigarettes with a stolen check over the weekend.

Fake Million Dollar Bill Lands Man In Jail [NBC Augusta]

PREVIOUSLY: Customer Asks Grocery Store Clerk For Change On A $1 Million Dollar Bill Then Freaks Out

That's what Ruben Manzano, 19, did when (after drinking) he became hungry and wanted some Carl's Jr. burgers.

In the restaurant, officers discovered Manzano's shoes, shirt and food that he had attempted to cook on the grill.

A security guard had spotted a shirtless man running north from the eatery.

Officers investigating the alarm call, which came in around 1:35 a.m., spotted a man, fitting the description given by the guard, running between houses in the 200 block of South Olive and the 200 block of South Fourth Street.

Hungry man linked to restaurant robbery in Santa Paula [Ventura County Star]
(Photo:ha_y_n_henna)

The woman "was arrested on suspicion of filing a false vehicle theft report with intent to deceive and falsely reporting a crime to a peace officer." No word yet on whether she'll be charged for insurance fraud, although we would imagine that would be part of the whole "we found your unstolen car" package.

"LoJack undoes scheme to fake SUV theft" [Sign On San Diego] (thanks to Stacy!)
(Image: LoJack)

From WYFF:

The crimes took place between January 1998 and December 2005 when [Brenda] Rivard was CFO of Lube USA.
Rivard stole the money by transferring more funds than necessary into the payroll account. She would then spend the excess money by writing herself checks from the payroll account.

She also spent about $180,000 using the corporate American Express card on personal items, most notably purchased from Nieman Marcus.

Lube USA is a privately-owned company headquartered in Japan that was formed in 1987. The company makes lubricating equipment for the manufacturing industry. The Greenville company is a distributor of the company.

Prosecutor Sylvia Harrison said, "She then falsified the bank statements that were sent back to Japan. They had no idea that she was taking this money."

Lube USA CEO Nobuo Ochi said, "Oh my God — I mean, I didn't know what she was doing."

Investigators said that about $2.89 million was stolen over an eight-year period. They found 2,400 articles of clothing, about 850 pairs of shoes and 412 pieces of jewelry stored in Rivard's basement.

Defense attorney Chip Price said, "I've known Brenda for 15 years and would never have guessed that something like this would happen."

Price said, "I can't find anything else that it was used for. It was not put in their home. There was no gambling. There were no drugs. I just don't understand this."

If you have a shopping addition, you need to get help.

Woman Stole $2.89 Million, Bought Clothes, Shoes, Jewelry [WYFF]

The Wal-Mart worker alerted Slidell police Friday after he saw a man buying material used to make the drug, police spokesman Capt. Kevin Foltz said.

Officers stopped the man as he left the store parking lot. In his car they found antifreeze, eight packages of 1,000-count matches and 20 tablets of pseudoephedrine, Foltz said.

The man had been under surveillance since neighbors near the suspected lab complained of a strong odor. After investigating, police arrested the man questioned at Wal-Mart and another man at the trailer and booked them with operating a clandestine laboratory to manufacture a controlled dangerous substance, which carries a sentence of five to 15 years.

Meth labs are spreading from rural areas into Slidell, Foltz said.

In August, a Slidell woman was arrested on charges of operating a meth lab out of her car after she was spotted buying drug-making supplies at the same Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart worker's tip leads to meth lab bust [Journal Gazette]
(Photo:taberandrew)

• Todd Layne promised same-day service until 8 p.m., but closed at 5:30 p.m. without offering an apology;
• Todd Layne costs more than other cleaners on the block because they use environmentally friendly soap that caused Evan's fiance to break out in hives;
• Maloney received a batch of clothes that was still wet.
• Todd Layne's washed and ruined a cellphone Maloney had left in his shorts;
• Todd Layne offered to accept package deliveries for people in Maloney's building. Despite his negative experiences, Maloney accepted this service. Todd Layne accepted two packages, but refused delivery of the third.

Why are dry cleaners such litigation magnets?

Drycleaner Sues Unhappy Customer [Gothamist]

From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

When the manager refused — telling the man the store had a policy of not returning counterfeit money — the man became enraged and grabbed an electronic funds transfer machine and slammed it against the counter, McNeilly said.

The man then reached for the cashier's scanner gun, and the manager called police, McNeilly said.

The man was not carrying identification and refused to give his name to police. He was being held yesterday in the Allegheny County Jail as John Doe.

McNeilly said police hope to identify him through fingerprints.

Cashier in Pittsburgh has million reasons to doubt[Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
(Photo:Wikipedia)

Vick signed loan agreements as the CFO of Divine Seven, which bought at least 130 vehicles, including many Kia Spectra and Ford Taurus cars, through 1st Source Bank loans, according to documents filed in U.S. District Court in South Bend on Wednesday.

A phone call Friday to a number listed on loan documents for Divine Seven was answered by a clerk at a Payless Car Rental office in Atlanta. The Associated Press left a message there for Art Washington, who signed some of the loan documents as Divine Seven's CEO.

According to the lawsuit, 1st Source Bank made a written demand for payment on Aug. 24, but Vick and Divine Seven have "failed and refused to pay."

Bad consumer.

Indiana bank sues Vick over unpaid car loans [USAToday]
1st Source sues scandal-bitten NFL player Vick [Sound Bend Tribune]