Dr. Vino says:

[Robin] Goldstein, the author of The Wine Trials has a posting up on his new website describing how he invented a restaurant name, Osteria l’Intrepido, a riff on “fearless.” Then he typed up a menu (”a fun amalgamation of somewhat bumbling nouvelle-Italian recipes”) and then put together a wine list, and submitted both to Wine Spectator–along with the $250 fee. The list was approved and given an Award of Excellence.

The best part is that Mr. Goldstein included "the lowest-scoring Italian wines in Wine Spectator over the past 20 years."

"I didn’t have any empirical evidence of the quality of the restaurants other than my own impressions,” he said. “I wanted to see what the standards of the Awards of Excellence were. The results speak for themselves."

Dr. Vino also notes that in a Times article from 2003, a reporter estimated that Wine Spectator was bringing in $625,275 from the award each year— and that was when the application fee was only $175.

Fictitious restaurant wins Wine Spectator Award of Excellence [Dr.Vino]

That's why this year we're going out of our way to salute the best of the best. Without further ado... The 10 most amazing, useful, awesome, stupendous products of 2007!

10. Ladders. Perfectly designed for reaching stuff that's too high. Need a can of soup that's on the top shelf? Use a ladder! The one drawback to ladders is that you can fall off of them and kill yourself. Were it not for this small flaw, we're sure ladders would be much higher on the list.

9. Internet. The internet is an excellent tool with many uses. For example, you can type your opinions in list form, post them, and then watch as people from all over the world disagree with you in nearly infinite variations. Believe it or not, some people make a pretty good living doing this.

8. Shoes. Shoes are a product we at the Consumerist use almost every single day. The productivity boost we get from shoes is unmatched. Without them, it takes a lot longer to do even simple tasks such as walking to the store.

7. The Spork. We ask you: What other utensil so deftly handles not only turkey, but stuffing and mashed potatoes as well?

6. Olive Oil. Olive Oil is not only delicious, if you felt like it, you could burn it in a lamp and light your house. Or make soap.

5. Notebooks And Pens. Have you ever had an idea? Or maybe you needed to remember something? What you need is a product that allows you to input data and store it for later. That way, you can free your mind to wonder if Monet would have been worth a damn if he hadn't had cataracts. We give you "Notebooks" and "Pens." They're easy to use right out of the box, considering you've probably had at least 12 years of relevant training provided by our fine education system.

4. Simple Machines. Who doesn't love the inclined plane? So useful for loading things in and out of trucks and entering and exiting buildings. The wheel and axle is another winner, and a wedge can stop a door for you when nothing else will do. Simple machines, we salute you.

3. Coffee & Tea. Neither coffee, nor tea has calories. Both contain caffeine. That's really all we have to say about it.

2. Baking Soda. Baking soda is not only an excellent leavening agent, after you're done eating the yummy biscuits you just made...you can brush your teeth with it. Or clean your produce. Or get a weird smell off of your hands. Or make a science project.

1. Vinegar. Yes, vinegar is the winner. You can use it to make pickles or you can clean your coffee pot with it. You could make salad dressing, or you could clean your counter tops and deodorize your garbage disposal. Vinegar rules!

What simple DRM-free, EULA-free, ETF-free products do you appreciate?

There was no mention of Mark "Anybody Wanna Buy A Subprime Lender?" Ernst, of H&R Block. Or JetBlue's David "Mortified" Neeleman, a nice guy who apologized himself right out of a job.

Angelo "You Can Afford It" Mozilo of Countrywide was scoffed at a bit, as was Kerry "KerKil" Killinger of WaMu. Mesa Airlines "Jonathan Ornstein received the most write-in votes by employees, investors and employees of competitors." Impressive.

And no, Phil "Pink Slip" Schoonover of Circuit City didn't win either, even after firing the last 6 people at Circuit City who knew anything about televisions.

It was Chairman Eddie Lampert of Sears Holdings, because he apparently has absolutely no idea how to run a bunch of stores:

Lampert's mantra has been profits over sales, which makes sense if it works. As recently as March, in his shareholder letter, he suggested better times were imminent when he said, "We believe we have stabilized Kmart's Ebitda and are now in a position to grow from that base." But retailers, especially those trying to improve themselves, require considerable capital infusions to drive sales.

So far, for all of Sears, including Kmart, the strategy has failed miserably. Not only have same-store sales (which Lampert says are "overrated" as a metric) gone deeper into the red, but gross margins, Ebitda and operating income for Kmart are also going in the wrong direction.

Worst CEO award goes to Sears' Lampert [Marketwatch]

Mattel:

Why: Recalling 21 million toys in 5 weeks! Way to go, Mattel. Your CEO stonewalled a congressional investigation into product safety and then bragged about his company's history of flouting consumer protection laws to the Wall Street Journal. Are design flaws in your products killing children and burning down people's homes? Be like Mattel: Blame China, then apologize for it, then take back the apology. What?

Consumers International says: "This is a classic case of avoiding accountability and shifting responsibility on a global scale.Wherever the fault lies, the safety of consumers was compromised and this should be the full focus of Mattel's attention, not finger pointing and not blame dodging."

Coca-Cola:

Why: Dasani! Even though it's quite popular in the US , Dasani was laughed off the shelves in Europe (picky, picky) because it contains ordinary tap water.

Consumers International says:
"Sustainable access to essential services, such as water, is a basic consumer right. By bottling up this universal resource to sell back to us, corporations, such as Coca-Cola have created a US$100 billion industry at a time when one billion people in the world lack access to safe drinking water. Making profits out of increasingly fragile water supplies is unsustainable, irresponsible and against the basic rights of consumers everywhere."

Kellogg:

Why: Advertising junk food to kids. What, you mean huge bowls of sugar aren't healthy?

Consumers International says: "CI is committed to stopping the marketing of junk food to children. Together with our membership we are campaigning for international restrictions on marketing to under 16's, to give our children the chance of a healthy start."

Takeda Pharmaceuticals:

Why: Marketing Rozarum sleeping pills to kids for "Back to School." Takeda ran ads that showed images of children, chalkboards and school buses. The commercial said: "Rozerem would like to remind you that it's back to school season. Ask your doctor today if Rozerem is right for you."

According to Consumers International, Rozarum hasn't been approved for use by children.

Consumers International says:
"This case demonstrates the lengths to which some drug companies will go to increase sales of their products, how direct to consumer advertising can promote irrational drug use, and how weak regulation can foster irresponsible corporate behaviour. This company is our overall award winner for irresponsible behavior for 2007."

There you are, folks. Your worst products of 2007. Remember kids: Shut up, drink your expensive tap water and eat your Frosted Flakes. If you don't, Santa will bring you a poison Barbie for Christmas and mommy will drug you with sleeping pills.

Coco-cola, Kellogg's, Mattel and Takeda Pharmaceuticals top the list of international brands guilty of abusing consumer rights.[Consumers International]

"This is what can happen if you don't settle," RIAA attorney Richard Gabriel told reporters outside the courthouse, according to Wired. "I think we have sent a message we are willing to go to trial."

RIAA Jury Finds Minnesota Woman Liable for Piracy, Awards $222,000 [Wired Threat Level]

Walmart says the employees skipped breaks by choice, then sued them over it.

"Many employees testified that they skipped rest breaks by choice. While we discourage that practice, employers should not be penalized when employees do that on their own," said the spokeswoman, Sharon Weber.

Wal-Mart Workers Win $62 Million [AP]
(Photo:AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

Ahh, Edelman. From the flogs, to the bullshit promise to remove the Nazi T-shirts, to well, we think CNN said it best when they said:

By year's end Wal-Mart suffers its first quarterly profit drop in a decade, sees same-store sales decline in November's run-up to the crucial holiday shopping season, and suffers a series of public relations gaffes so stunning that it lands six spots in this year's edition of the 101 Dumbest Moments.

101 Dumbest Moments In Business [CNN](Thanks, Bill!)

RELATED:
Edelman: How We Taught The World That Illegal Downloading Is A No-No
How Do You Get Walmart To Pay For Your Family Vacation?
Walmart Apologizes For Selling Nazi Tshirts

After thirty years with a company, it's always nice to have your shafting quickly followed by a twist of the corkscrew rigidly standing from your behind.

When Ford downsized last January, Michael Stawasz, an employee of over thirty years, was one of the guys canned. Stawasz argues that he was fired precisely because he was an employee of nearly three decades... mere months away from being able to cash in on the sizable full benefits and pension of a long term Ford employee.

Then he received the above plaque by mail, in which the president of Ford heartily congratulated him for thirty years of service. The package also contained numerous plastic rings, allowing Stawasz to size himself for the massive loop of Ford-emblemed bling that is the reward for all workers who spend most of their lives toiling in dedication to the company.

Of course, he was still fired. It was all just one further 'fuck you' from Ford for a job well done!

Is Ford's parting gift to ex-workers 'cruel joke'? [Detroit News]

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