Great news, kids! Australian researcher Michael McCullough says you should stop using alcoholic mouthwashes like Listerine and Scope because they could give you oral cancer.
Looks like the Grocery Shrink Ray took a working vacation down under this summer. Reader Meg tells us that her redesigned Aussie Sprunch hairspray shriveled from 12 ounces to 10.2 ounces. Gone too is an adorable yellow kangaroo, mercilessly consumed, we presume, by the insatiable Grocery Shrink Ray.
Apparently, the email has caused such an outpouring of similar customer service stories that the restaurant is actually closed.
Like kangaroos? Flights down under may soon cost less thanks to an open skies agreement signed by the U.S. and Australia that will smash apart the duopoly enjoyed by Qantas and United. Richard Branson’s discount Australian airline, Virgin Blue, has already submitted an application to mix things up and drive fares south. [L.A. Times]
Here’s proof that bad customer service, like haggling and buyer’s remorse, is a universal human condition. A woman in Brisbane, Australia saw an ad for 50% off the bill at Casa Flamenco, a local restaurant, so she and some friends went out for dinner. The experience wasn’t good—untrained waiter, mediocre food, small servings, long wait time, and despite the half-off coupon the meal was surprisingly expensive for the value. The woman—a restaurant marketer—wrote a polite email to the restaurant with some professional feedback and suggestions on how to improve service.
The New York Times has a great article about the doctor who figured out that the “Aqua Dots” or “Bindeez” beads were full of GHB. It reads like a summary of an episode of House, M.D.:
Doctors at the Children’s Hospital at Westmead, outside Sydney, first believed that the 2-year-old boy, whose name has not been released, had an inherited metabolic disorder. But when Dr. Carpenter checked urine samples the next day for the chemical markers of the disorder, he found GHB, which can render victims unconscious and even cause death through respiratory failure.
A toy that won the Australian Toy of the Year award this year has been recalled because it contains small beads that are filled a glue the body metabolizes into GHB. As in gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid, a party drug popular among ravers.
Add “barmaid” to your list of toxic things to avoid in Australia. The woman, a 23-year-old former employee of a Melbourne nightclub, and someone police say is “known for her prankster-style behavior,” served a patron a shot of Pine-O-Cleen disinfectant during a 6 a.m. “drinking bout.” The victim survived but developed ulcers on his skin. The ex-barmaid now faces “four charges of intentionally causing injury.” Man, everything cool happens in Australia. [Reuters]
The formaldehyde-tainting scandal over in New Zealand and Australia continues today with a recall of Chinese-made blankets that are so full of formaldehyde that they could cause skin or respiratory irritation, according to the Associated Press.
Wholesale firm Charles Parsons said the level of formaldehyde in the Superlux brand of blankets ‘may cause short-term skin or respiratory irritation.’
Meow! Meow! That’s the sound of Messiah, a cat, charging expensive lingerie on his new credit card.
Reader David informs us that Vegemite, a salty, paste-like spread, and an Australian national delicacy, was never banned. It was all a hoax. We are upset; there’s nothing we enjoy more than irritated Aussies. We are further upset because we would have known it was a hoax if we had been reading the comments more closely.
Reminding many Americans of the salty brown discharge of a dehydrated woman with a yeast infection than any real replacement for that prince of sandwich condiments, peanut butter, the rugged Aussie thrives on the stuff. For years, Australian ex-patriates have been mollified into joining the melting pot by regularly importing the “delicacy.”
Over at the Bleat, James Lileks took time out of talking about how great the olden days are to illustrate that, though we live in an age of Hooker Barbies, it’s not like they just started being offensive.
Jason obviously didn’t read the warning label on the bottom of the “Freedom Laptop Table ii” informing him the device also doubled as a trebuchet. Too bad for his week-old high-end Acer Ferrari laptop.
You’ll need a gator-skinning knife to slice through this hogwash.