http://consumerist.com/2007/12/31/dont-bring-3000-worth-of/

Don’t bring $3000 worth of wine to Melbourne’s Tullmarine airport packed in your carry-on luggage, because they are hardcore. [News.com.au via Fark]

How The "Date Rape Drug" Was Found Inside A Children's Toy

How The "Date Rape Drug" Was Found Inside A Children's Toy

The New York Times has a great article about the doctor who figured out that the “Aqua Dots” or “Bindeez” beads were full of GHB. It reads like a summary of an episode of House, M.D.:

Doctors at the Children’s Hospital at Westmead, outside Sydney, first believed that the 2-year-old boy, whose name has not been released, had an inherited metabolic disorder. But when Dr. Carpenter checked urine samples the next day for the chemical markers of the disorder, he found GHB, which can render victims unconscious and even cause death through respiratory failure.

Popular Australian Toy Filled With GHB

Popular Australian Toy Filled With GHB

A toy that won the Australian Toy of the Year award this year has been recalled because it contains small beads that are filled a glue the body metabolizes into GHB. As in gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid, a party drug popular among ravers.

http://consumerist.com/2007/09/26/add-barmaid-to-your/

Add “barmaid” to your list of toxic things to avoid in Australia. The woman, a 23-year-old former employee of a Melbourne nightclub, and someone police say is “known for her prankster-style behavior,” served a patron a shot of Pine-O-Cleen disinfectant during a 6 a.m. “drinking bout.” The victim survived but developed ulcers on his skin. The ex-barmaid now faces “four charges of intentionally causing injury.” Man, everything cool happens in Australia. [Reuters]

New Zealand And Australia Recall Chinese-Made Formaldehyde Tainted Blankets

New Zealand And Australia Recall Chinese-Made Formaldehyde Tainted Blankets

The formaldehyde-tainting scandal over in New Zealand and Australia continues today with a recall of Chinese-made blankets that are so full of formaldehyde that they could cause skin or respiratory irritation, according to the Associated Press.

Wholesale firm Charles Parsons said the level of formaldehyde in the Superlux brand of blankets ‘may cause short-term skin or respiratory irritation.’

Messiah The Cat Gets $4200 Credit Card

Messiah The Cat Gets $4200 Credit Card

Meow! Meow! That’s the sound of Messiah, a cat, charging expensive lingerie on his new credit card.

UPDATE: Vegemite Not Banned

UPDATE: Vegemite Not Banned

Reader David informs us that Vegemite, a salty, paste-like spread, and an Australian national delicacy, was never banned. It was all a hoax. We are upset; there’s nothing we enjoy more than irritated Aussies. We are further upset because we would have known it was a hoax if we had been reading the comments more closely.

U.S. Government Sparks Australian Riot, Bans Vegemite

Reminding many Americans of the salty brown discharge of a dehydrated woman with a yeast infection than any real replacement for that prince of sandwich condiments, peanut butter, the rugged Aussie thrives on the stuff. For years, Australian ex-patriates have been mollified into joining the melting pot by regularly importing the “delicacy.”

Red Cross Wants You To Open Your Veins In The Supermarket

Red Cross Wants You To Open Your Veins In The Supermarket

Mattel Presents Ooga Booga Barbie

Mattel Presents Ooga Booga Barbie

Over at the Bleat, James Lileks took time out of talking about how great the olden days are to illustrate that, though we live in an age of Hooker Barbies, it’s not like they just started being offensive.

Crappiest Laptop Table in the World

Jason obviously didn’t read the warning label on the bottom of the “Freedom Laptop Table ii” informing him the device also doubled as a trebuchet. Too bad for his week-old high-end Acer Ferrari laptop.

Australians Can Legally Watch Tapes Only Once

Australians Can Legally Watch Tapes Only Once

Did you think American copyright laws were draconian? Thank blazes you didn’t spill forth from the same mucousy marsupial pouch as Yahoo Serious into a lifetime of Australian citizenship.

Sic Crocodile Dundee on these Marketers

Sic Crocodile Dundee on these Marketers

You’ll need a gator-skinning knife to slice through this hogwash.

David Hasselhoff Trades in Knight for Pepsi Cap, Rides

David Hasselhoff Trades in Knight for Pepsi Cap, Rides

How do you like your Pepsi-Cola? How about David Hasselhoff? This asexually lascivious image leered at Flickr user ‘Downunder Dan’ from atop an Australian billboard and he was compelled to share it with us. Thanks, Dan! Now we can gouge our eyes out in peace and replace them with K.I.T.T’s array of futuristic crime sensors.