So I was at the Pittsburgh Airport, and decided to get some food at Au Bon Pain. I ordered a Milk Chug, and a Mediterranean Veggie Wrap. When I saw the receipt, I knew you guys would want to see this..somehow I
also managed to snag an order of boobs?

As a guy... I am not sure what this means... is Au Bon Pain serving more than just food these days?

I was just at Au Bon Pain on 38th & 3rd, and when I stepped outside with my coffee, a NYPost reporter and photographer stopped me to talk about the recent spate of rat sightings in that particular ABP, and their poor grades on recent health inspections. He said a story will run in tomorrow's Post (headline: French Rats Invade! (?)). We stood on the corner and chatted about the recent KFC thing, and he agreed that if he could get them on video, it could be another front-page 'scandal'. I had previously seen a little mouse in the ABP on 39th & Madison, (which they said they'd check out) but these guys said large rats were spotted this time. He asked me if I was still going to drink the coffee, and I shrugged and said 'I went to Manhattan College, so rats in the eating area isn't a huge deal to me.' He smiled and said look in tomorrow's News section.

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Well it's got resolution and italics. Also, the author has been revealed to not just be some random "MB" but none other than Kelly Ann Collins! A celebrity complaint. Bully for us. The ABP area director wrote her back, along with complimentary lunch coupons:

"I am very sorry that everything about your visit was poor. I can't imagine how upset I would be if my soup, sandwich and drink were all horrible. I have spoken with the General Manager and he is looking into not only how this happened but is putting in procedures to insure it never happens again, i.e. temping soup every 2 hours, retraining the sandwich makers, and checking the calibration of the soda machine."

You calibrate that soda machine, sumnabitch.

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"After the Pain" [Ask KAC]

UPDATE: Well, we don't read bylines. We thought because the blog was called Ask Kelly Collins, she wrote the complaint letter and followup. Actually, it was her editorial assistant who had the ABP experience. And thus lands the cherry bomb atop our week of shame.

MB
Washington, DC
May 19, 2006

Dear ABP,

I'm a frequent lunchtime patron to your caf s here in the nation's capital, eating there 2-3 times per week. I'm just back from one such visit, which can only be described in one word: yuck!

MB's disgusting email continues, after the jump...

(CONT)

"Here's what $9.97 just bought me at your 19th & M Street location in Washington, DC:

1 medium cup (only 2/3 filled) of lukewarm chicken noodle soup. The bits of chicken were actually cold (icy, even — do you guys freeze it?). Had three spoon-fulls and tossed it in the garbage.

1 Southwest Tuna Wrap, overflowing — literally — with chili-dijon spread. Thinking about it makes me want to gag. The "lahvash wrap" tasted like cardboard and was beyond stale. The whole sandwich fell apart on my plate, leaving just a disgusting mess that was quickly tossed in the garbage (luckily, it was close by since that's where all
my food was heading.)

1 Diet Coke medium fountain soda. Hoping to wash this disaster of a meal down, or at least get the taste out of my mouth, this drink was much needed. Unfortunately, it was flat and didn't taste anything like Coke should. Couldn't believe this got screwed up also.

When all was said and done, my $10 meal was tossed in the trash. I'd thought about handing it off to the bum begging for change at the door, but decided I'd spare him the same fate.

After this experience, which is being related to my office co-workers, I'm not sure I'll be stopping by an au bon pain any time soon. There are just far too much lunch options here for me — which is a shame, because usually I'm a big fan of yours ...

Sadly,
MB "