Alabama Bans Wine Bottle For Giving It The Vapors

Alabama Bans Wine Bottle For Giving It The Vapors

I swan! [Fans face.] Sweet magnolia breeze! I do declare! [Clutches petticoat in pre-swoon anticipation.] Alabama is in a dither over a drawing of a nude nymph on a wine bottle label, so they’ve banned the product from being sold. Their liquor regulations forbid the display of “a person posed in an immoral or sensuous manner” on any alcohol packaging. We have to side with Alabama on this one—after all, we’re not sure you can ride a bike naked without eventually doing something immoral, whether you mean to or not.

The Inmates Get Thinner And The Sheriff's Bank Account Gets Fatter

The Inmates Get Thinner And The Sheriff's Bank Account Gets Fatter

Here’s a grim economics lesson: In Alabama, there’s a law that allows the Sheriff to keep any money that’s left over after feeding the prisoners in the county jail. Can you guess what the result of this conflict of interest might be?

NBC Stations Will Ditch Time Warner Cable Unless They See Some Cash

NBC Stations Will Ditch Time Warner Cable Unless They See Some Cash

Cable companies compensate most of the channels they offer, sharing a portion of the money they get from subscribers with the individual stations– but apparently Time Warner Cable doesn’t share the wealth with broadcast networks — and Austin, TX NBC affiliate KXAN is having none of it. They want some money!

Passengers Watch With Disbelief As Their Allegiant Air Flight Leaves Without Them

Passengers Watch With Disbelief As Their Allegiant Air Flight Leaves Without Them

Over 20 passengers watched in horror as their Allegiant Air flight from Huntsville to Fort Lauderdale took off without them. The passengers had lined up at the gate, tickets in hand, when the plane pushed back. Apparently, the single ticketing agent had struggled to handle everyone on time and didn’t tell the plane to wait. Passengers called the airline once they realized they were stranded as kids shouted, “We want to go to Disney World!”

“So, everybody calls Allegiant Air,” Rigas said. “Three people got hung up on.”

Target Cards You For Buying Jones Soda

Target Cards You For Buying Jones Soda

Reader Daniel would like to let us know that the Target in Huntsville, AL thinks Jones Soda is alcoholic, and they’re going to need to see some ID.

http://consumerist.com/2007/07/30/judge-kenneth-robertson-of-alabama/

Judge Kenneth Robertson of Alabama has sentenced more than 20 people to wear signs reading: “I Am A Thief; I Stole From Walmart.”

Don't Get Benchpressed By A Gym Contract Scam, A Cautionary Tale

Don't Get Benchpressed By A Gym Contract Scam, A Cautionary Tale

So you go through the process of selecting a gym, asking yourself whether you want one close to your house or to work, choosing between opulent technoplaygrounds and piles of torture devices in an old VFW lodge, and most importantly, determining whether your goal is to actually get fit, or get laid.

Walmart Evicts Shoplifters Wearing Signs Reading "I Am A Thief I Stole From Walmart"

Walmart Evicts Shoplifters Wearing Signs Reading "I Am A Thief I Stole From Walmart"

Convicted shoplifters are no longer welcome at Walmart, even if they wear signs proclaiming: “I am a thief, I stole from Walmart.” Walmart was initially gung-ho about the decision to publicly shame the thieves, and even planned to keep the signs for future use. Their dreams of shoplifter shame now lie slightly worn at the return desk after a Walmart attorney told Judge Kenneth Robertson that the shoplifters were persona non grata at Walmart.

Robertson said the attorney said WalMart was afraid “that people might try to run [the shoplifters] down or throw something at them.”

Walmart does not want blood on their hands parking lots. Judge Robertson has ordered the shoplifters to finish their sentence outside his courthouse, where they apparently can’t be run down or have things thrown at them. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

Judge Orders Shoplifters To Wear Signs Reading "I Am A Thief I Stole From Walmart"

Judge Orders Shoplifters To Wear Signs Reading "I Am A Thief I Stole From Walmart"

Don’t steal from the Walmart in Attala, Ala or Judge Kenneth Robertson Jr. will make you wear a sign that says, “I AM A THIEF I STOLE FROM WALMART.”

Walmart Pulls Contaminated Frozen Catfish From China

Walmart Pulls Contaminated Frozen Catfish From China

Fluoroquinolone was reportedly banned by the FDA in 1997, but Florida food safety experts officials told CBS-4’s Al Sunshine that it is not an imminent threat to public health and it’s more of an issue of keeping unneeded antibiotics out of the human food supply.

Tweeter To Close, Liquidate 49 Stores

Tweeter To Close, Liquidate 49 Stores

Tweeter is closing 49 locations, joining the ranks of stores capitulating to competition from Best Buy and Walmart. The restructuring will leave the consumer electronics retailer without a presence in California, Tennessee, Alabama, or New York. According to CEO Joe McGuire, surviving Tweeter locations will sport Consumer Electronics Playgrounds offering high-end home theaters.

“Since our Playground stores are clearly resonating with consumers and articulate our vision so well, we will continue to execute this concept in our remaining 97 traditional stores by taking what we have learned from our current Playground stores and rolling it into our existing fleet.”

Stores on the chopping block will immediately offer liquidation sales. The complete list of closures, inside.

If You're Supervising A Class Of 4th Graders and Need Shelter From A Tornado, Don't Bother The Embassy Suites Hotel

If You're Supervising A Class Of 4th Graders and Need Shelter From A Tornado, Don't Bother The Embassy Suites Hotel

The 4th graders and their teachers, reportedly, went to the Embassy Suites Hotel to escape. Instead of being rescued, an employee, allegedly, told them the hotel was full and turned them away. “It’s still unacceptable to be turned away in a moment that harm is potentially present,” says Baldwin County School Spokesperson Terry Wilhite.