(kevindean)

Don’t Strip Naked & Urinate On An Airport Tarmac If You’d Like To Avoid A Tasering

While it’s surely better to strip down to your birthday suit after you’ve deboarded a plane, no matter when you start pulling shenanigans, if you do it an airport the authorities will not be pleased. Add in public urination and telling the captain you’re going to fight him and well, things are going to get taser-y. [More]

(kevindean)

Florida Airport Shuts Down For 5 Hours Over Two Suspicious Packages

Authorities have arrested a suspect after finding two suspicious packages at the Jacksonville International Airport in Florida. The items prompted the shutdown of the airport for five hours and one of those packages has been deemed “destructive” by law enforcement.
[More]

(S_Negatives)

7 JFK Baggage Handlers Accused Of Lifting Cash, Electronics & Jewelry From Customers’ Luggage

The thing about owning expensive jewelry, watches and pricy electronics is that if any of it goes missing after it’s been placed safely in your luggage, you’re going to notice. There’s no Bermuda Triangle of personal possessions that can be blamed for vanishing items, only human beings. In one recent case at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York City, seven baggage handlers have been accused of forming their own force of nature designed to disappear valuables and cash. [More]

(WSB-TV.com)

Airport Eatery Says It’ll Totally Switch To Vendor That Doesn’t Top Bread With Maggots

Never mind locally-sourced, fresh-from-the-farm ingredients — is it too much to ask that an airport sandwich not have maggots in it? An eatery at the Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta says it’s going to switch vendors after a customer claimed to have been sold food with a side order of maggots. [More]

(KSHB.com)

Just When You Got Over ‘Arachnophobia’: Spiders Attack Kansas Air Traffic Control Station

I was in a basement. I don’t remember whose basement it was, but someone had the bright idea that instead of watching Mannequin for the 14th time we should watch Arachnophobia. After that, I had no memory of watching that movie. UNTIL NOW. Thanks, spider infestation at Kansas Air Traffic Control Station. Thanks a lot for bringing that terrifying childhood memory blazing back into my brain. [More]

(Studio d'Xavier)

Authorities Paging Owner Of 55-Gallon Drum Of Uranium Parked At Florida Airport

Were you recently rolling down the street with your 55-gallon drum of uranium, only to somehow misplace it? It could be at the Opa-locka Executive Airport near Miami, where police found just such a thing on Thursday. A hazmat team showed up to get it where it was hanging out near a dismantled plane. [More]

TSA Making It (A Bit) Easier To Enroll In Expedited Security Screening Program

TSA Making It (A Bit) Easier To Enroll In Expedited Security Screening Program

We’ve been writing for quite some time about the Transportation Security Administration’s PreCheck (or as the TSA obnoxiously insists on writing, “Pre✓™”) program, which allows vetted travelers to go through an airport security screening process. To enroll, consumers need to be a member of certain airlines’ frequent flier programs or already part of other trusted-traveler services, but starting this fall, the TSA will open up online enrollment in PreCheck… with one major catch. [More]

(mutantmonkey)

We’re Calling “Snowdening” A Thing: Cancun Police Can’t Stop Woman From Living In Airport

We can’t all be alleged leakers of super secret National Security Agency information, but one woman isn’t letting that stop her from pulling an Edward Snowden and setting up in a transit zone: Police in Mexico say a woman arrived on a flight from the United States last week and since then just hasn’t left the Cancun airport. [More]

It's sooo Hanksian.

Edward Snowden Isn’t The First Transit Zone Dweller Who Reminds Us Of That One Movie

Remember that Tom Hanks movie where he’s really lonely and far from home? No, not Cast Away (Wilson! [tear]), the other one where he faces seemingly insurmountable obstacles while living in limbo, The Terminal. Accused NSA leaker Edward Snowden is a lot like the guy Hank portrays in the flick who’s stuck in JFK Airport. That’s because the character is based on a real person, and there are plenty of other transit zone dwellers on the books. [More]

Airports Say More Travelers Are Faking Need For Wheelchairs Just To Get Through Lines Faster

Airports Say More Travelers Are Faking Need For Wheelchairs Just To Get Through Lines Faster

The law requires that airlines provide free wheelchair assistance to anyone who requests it; no documentation or evidence of injury required. And a growing number of unscrupulous travelers are taking advantage of this system, faking injuries and disabilities to get preferential treatment at security checkpoints and at the gate. [More]

O'Hare's airplane-themed play area.

5 Airports Where Being Stuck With Your Kids Might Not Be An Absolute Nightmare

While none of us at Consumerist have kids — that we’ll legally admit to — we’ve traveled with other people’s youngsters, and we’ve watched in jaw-dropped horror at the antics of some bored, confined children at airports. Thankfully, there are some airports that provide a place for traveling terrors to blow off steam without irritating grumpy grown-ups like me. [More]

(thoth1618)

FAA Warns That Upcoming Furloughs Could Affect Thousands Of Flights Per Day

With a slew of air-traffic controller furloughs set to kick in on Sunday, the Federal Aviation Administration has given the airline industry the heads-up that these staffing shortages could affect upwards of 7,000 flights every day at the nation’s busiest airports. [More]

(TheeErin)

DOT Head Ray LaHood Paints Nightmarish Travel Picture If Sequestration Hits March 1

Maybe you haven’t been paying much attention to all the hullabaloo surrounding automatic government spending cuts that could go into effect next week, known as sequestration. It’s a lot to take in, as those cuts will be across-the-board and could be a problem for a wide variety of government agencies, including the Federal Aviation Administration. As such, Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood is painting a potentially annoying picture for air travel in the future. [More]

(YouTube)

TSA Policies Are So Confusing It’s No Wonder A 3-Year-Old In A Wheelchair Gets Upset During Screening

The Transportation Security Administration is doing some quick apologizing after an incident that left a 3-year-old girl upset and crying when her parents were told she’d need to submit to a pat-down. The toddler has spina bifida and had reportedly already gone through security at Lambert- St. Louis International Airport, when her mom captured what appears to be TSA agents attempting to touch the tearful girl. [More]

(MartinRottler)

You Can’t Bring A Loaded Gun In Your Carry-On Even If You’re An NFL Player

The human brain is a shifty thing — you thought you put your keys in your pocket but really they’re in the freezer! — but there’s no way the Transportation Security Administration is going to accept “I forgot a gun was in my bag and/or that it was loaded” as an excuse without a little bit of digging. Even if you happen to be a defensive end for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. [More]

Fancy a snooze?

Would You Pay $30 An Hour To Nap In A 7-By-8-Foot Room At The Airport?

You’ve been up since the crack of dawn and have arrived bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived at the airport, only to find your connecting flight is delayed. Like, way delayed. Your options are limited and probably include camping out near a wall so you can at least lean your head against it and catch a few z’s while you wait. Or would you be willing to pay $30 an hour to take a nap in a tiny room of your own? [More]

Image from a back-scatter scanner

TSA Finally Removing “Naked” Full-Body Scanners From Airports

Last fall, it was reported that the Transportation Security Administration was moving its controversial backscatter full-body scanners out of busier airports and moving them to smaller ones. Now, the agency says it is getting rid of these scanners altogether. [More]

No, this is not the sequel to the 1997 Joe Pesci comedy.

18 Heads Found In Airport Duffel Bag; May Be Completely Legal

There are all sorts of restrictions on things you can carry on to a plane; don’t dare try to bring that bottle of Poland Spring through the checkpoint. But 18 heads in a duffel bag? That might actually be okay, say customs officials. [More]