And let's not forget the exorbitant booking fee for using miles for one of our tickets. The actual FLIGHT was only $280 round trip per ticket, but with the booking fee TO USE THE MILES TO PURCHASE A TICKET, we wound up paying over $500.

When Dean tried to convert the two tickets into travel vouchers, the airline charged him another $300. And that, readers, is when the airline killed off one of their better customer relationships.

For a trip that requires two roundtrip tickets priced at $280 each, or $560 before taxes, United managed to tack on over $800 in additional fees:

Dean doesn't have a permalink to his post—it's just up on the "News" section of his front page—so we're reprinting it below for posterity:

There seems to be a trend with me lately - it seems that, without fail, if I am on the phone with United Airlines, it's going to end in me cursing them out.

First, let me point something out. I used to be a devotee to United Airlines. For years, when we had trouble flying on American or Delta or *shudder* Southwest, United was always there as our rock - flights were usually smooth, we got decent service, and life was good. We signed up for frequent flier cards, (Even got a free upgrade to First class from L.A. to Chicago once) and I got a credit card that would give me bonus miles with them. I also had sort of a soft spot for them in my heart, given that my Grandfather worked maintenance for them for most of his life in San Francisco. After his memorial, I wound up taking a bunch of his old United memorabilia home with me, and I'm always going to treasure it, no matter what.

But coincidentally, that particular flight was where the love affair started to go south. See, it was around June, and it was when they started adding on fees for the second checked bag - which we didn't know about until we got to the gate, of course. I understood, to a degree - fuel prices were at an all-time high, and the airlines had to make up for the difference somehow. But I do clearly remember mentioning to the gate agent that "Heh... you KNOW those fees aren't going to go away when fuel prices come down again." How right I was.

Now, of course, fuel has dropped to the lowest price it's been in YEARS, and have they removed the fee? HA! They went one step further... because in early October, we booked a flight home so we could spend Christmas with our families. During that phone call, I discovered that not only had they added a fee for the FIRST checked bag (WHO flies without checking at least ONE bag?!) but they had increased the pet-in-cabin price from $85 per direction (It had previously been $75 the year before) to ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS per direction. Considering we'd be taking Selphie both ways, that adds up to MORE than the price of a ticket - just for the privelege of putting a dog carrier under the seat in front of us. And let's not forget the exorbitant booking fee for using miles for one of our tickets. The actual FLIGHT was only $280 round trip per ticket, but with the booking fee TO USE THE MILES TO PURCHASE A TICKET, we wound up paying over $500. The pet-in-cabin charge would be paid at the gate, of course. And don't forget the roughly $80 extra we would have to pay just to check our bags. This was the first instance where the phone call ended in extreme profanity.

Now, of course, we're MOVING BACK to California. We no longer have need for a flight from Austin to Sacramento. So, I decided to call United and see if it would be possible to convert the tickets into travel vouchers that we could use at another time. Certainly, said the reservations agent! There's only a fee of $150 per ticket to do so.

THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS?! FOR YOU TO PRESS A FEW BUTTONS AND CHANGE SOME INFORMATION IN A COMPUTER?! Needless to say, that phone call did not end in a civil fashion. I don't care if these people aren't personally responsible for these fees. They're representatives of United, and as such, they deserve to hear what I have to say. Take your fees and shove it.

And so, here and now, I officially renounce United Airlines. Call it whatever you want. A denouncement. A boycott. I don't care - the long and the short of it is this - I will never willingly fly United again, and I would urge anyone to whom customer service is important to boycott them as well. And not just United - I pledge, here and now, to never fly on another Star Alliance airline, either - domestically, this means no flying on US Airways. (Not exactly a huge loss) And I'm going to keep this up until United elects to rescind their fees for the first and second bags, and until the silly fees like $175 for a pet-in-cabin go away. But I'm not silly enough to think that the actions of one man are enough to get something done. That's why I'm calling on you guys.

I'm sure I'm not the only one furious with United Airlines for the treatment I've recieved - I'm sure many, many others have had the same experiences. Tomorrow, I will be writing up an actual, paper letter and sending it off to United, and I encourage you to do the same. If you feel so inclined, their mailing address is as follows:

Customer Relations
WHQPW
United Airlines
PO Box 66100
Chicago, IL 60666

Whether the fees go away or not is immaterial. I'm just pissed that United has $500 of my money that I'm never going to see again, and they're holding it hostage unless I pay an ADDITIONAL $300 to make use of it sometime in the next year. And so, I'm going to throw in my one profanity in this entire post - I say this so that people like my mom who don't really care for profanity can stop reading now.

Fuck you, United Airlines. You just lost a devoted customer.

Real Life Comics (Thanks to Arthur!)
(Photo: Getty Images)

Woman Claims Pasco Airport Security Agent Hurt Her Foot [KERPTV] (Thanks to Matt!)

“Who would have thought, after 30 years, that we’d be a flying 7-Eleven,” Becky Gilbert, a three-decade veteran of the industry told me during a break in our training session in Fort Worth.

The author, Michelle Higgins, captures the dramatic shift from what was once a career loaded with perks—free travel, flexible schedules, plenty of time off, and even a bit of cachet—into a job that puts you on the front line of the war most airlines are carrying out against their paying customers.

At the start of one flight, for example, the crew is told the plane is moving to a shorter runway, and they have to carry out a quick count of the number of children on board to see whether the plane meets the suddenly-reduced weight limit—otherwise they will have to kick off passengers. (And those passengers will hopefully write to The Consumerist.)

We've no doubt that there are bad employees in the skies—the bigots, morons, burn-outs, and despots who provide us with so many infuriating stories—but it's revealing to see the level of stress that today's good flight attendants have to deal with, and something worth keeping in mind the next time you fly and want to reach out and hurt the person telling you there are no more blankets or cookies, or that you'll almost certainly miss your connecting flight.

"Flying the Unfriendly Skies" [New York Times]
(Photo: FaceMePLS)

The problem was that the person who wrote the apology letter mixed up the gender of Dr. Madduri—which led him to believe it was about the female flight attendant in question—when really he was the individual with the "bizarre behavior." When you read it with this new understanding, it becomes clear that Southwest fully sided with the flight attendant and never meant to communicate with Dr. Madduri about the issue.

"Dear Sivaprasad Madduri: Sometimes an explanation for the reason why things happen isn't always possible, and the bizarre behavior of the individual during your June 26 flight to Las Vegas supports this point. While I'm unable to explain the circumstances surrounding the disruption, I think it's important to offer my heartfelt apologies for any concerns you may have had as a result of this event. Naturally, we don't want this experience to affect your feelings about flying with us in the future, or for it to be your last recollection of traveling with our Company.

"In fact, we would consider it a privilege if you gave us another opportunity to provide you with better memories. I am confident your next trips with Southwest Airlines will be more pleasant and to prove just that, I sent a LUV Voucher to every person (except, of course, the lady who caused the disruption) who was onboard your flight."

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported on Dr. Madduri's arrest and the apology letter back in July, and they were able to get a slightly different story from Southwest that naturally makes the airline come off in a better light, but still leaves many questions unanswered:

Brandy King, the spokeswoman for Southwest Airlines, said flight attendants were required to explain the cockpit-door and front-galley regulations as part of the preflight announcements.

Yes, but many of us zone out during those announcements.

King said the flight attendant tried to explain the regulation to Madduri during the incident. The criminal complaint, filed by the FBI, makes mention of a second flight attendant who allegedly tried to explain the regulation to Madduri after he returned to his seat after his first effort to get to the lavatory. The complaint says the first flight attendant again tried to explain the regulation to Madduri when he made his second attempt. The complaint states that Madduri said, "I'm not listening to you."

Did the FBI talk to any of the other passengers? That would settle the argument. Sadly, the FBI office in Las Vegas did not return repeated phone calls.

"Doctor now regrets pleading guilty over incident on airplane" [STLtoday via airliners.net]

Southwest has since told Dr. Madduri, "We don't want this experience to affect your feelings about flying with us in the future," and they've offered him a $100 voucher. It turns out the "apology" was meant for the other passengers, and was in fact about Dr. Madduri.

From Rediff:

Ironically, even before he filed his complaint with the Southwest Airlines officials, he got a letter from Frederick Taylor Jr, senior manager at the airline's customer service communications, offering a $100 voucher for a future flight.

"Sometimes, an explanation for the reason why things happen is not always possible, and the bizarre behaviour of the individual during your June 26 flight to Las Vegas supports this point," Taylor said in a letter accompanying the voucher. "While I am unable to explain the circumstances surrounding the disruption, I think it is important to offer my heartfelt apologies for any concerns you may have had as a result of this event".

"Naturally, we don't want this experience to affect your feelings about flying with us in the future, or for it to be your last recollection of traveling with our company. In fact we would consider it a privilege if you gave us another opportunity to provide you with better memories."

Here's Dr. Madduri's story in his own words:

[I am] a physician from India who immigrated to the United States 38 years ago and [has] been in private practice in South East Missouri for more than a quarter century.

On June 26, 2008, I traveled from St Louis to Las Vegas to attend AAPI annual convention by Southwest flight 1226. Two hours into the flight, I tried to go to the bathroom ( I take a blood pressure medicine with diuretic that makes one 'go' more often). As I was sitting in row six, I walked to the front lavatory. The flight attendant, named Lora Lee Minton, abruptly stopped me and essentially shouted at me, "Go back! This bath room is occupied, and you cannot stand here."

Shocked and dumbfounded at this unfriendly behavior, I went back and sat in my seat. Two minutes later, I saw the lavatory door opening and I got up and walked towards the bath room again. The same flight attendant (Lora Lee Minton) screamed at me, "I told you not to go to that bathroom," and started pushing me into my seat. I was totally confused at this erratic behavior, and told her that I had been taking medicine and I had to go to the toilet. I even tried to walk past Ms.Minton as I was very uncomfortable.

"I told you not to go," she pushed me into my seat! I was lost. I flew many times but had never experienced a rude and unfriendly behavior like this. Confused and not knowing what to do, I went back and sat in my seat. I saw the pilot came out of the lavatory, walked into the cockpit and closed the door behind him. Later I could use the bathroom.

The sequence of events that followed were more frightening and beyond the scope of any one's imagination. As the plane landed in Las Vegas , I was escorted by two police officers and was handed over to the FBI. The FBI interrogated me at length and for the first time, I was told that the flight attendant, Ms.Lora Lee Minton, reported that I was causing 'disturbance' during the flight. I was also told that when the pilot is out of the cockpit, no one is supposed get up from their seat, till the pilot goes back to his seat. This apparently is a federal law being enforced since 9/11 and no one ever told me, nor was it announced during the flight.

That night I was taken through federal centers for further investigation. I was hand-cuffed, finger printed and was 'processed' as a common criminal. I was told repeatedly that my background was checked and I had no criminal record. Even after checking my back ground and even after confirming it by calling my family members (Our two children that live in St Louis and Houston, Texas ) and my professional partner (urologist from Poplar Bluff, Missouri ), I still had to go through the harassment. I was dragged through Federal court buildings that night with hand and ankle cuffs, left in cells for hours before I was interrogated and was threatened repeatedly with abusive language: 'Shut up,' 'I am going to kick your ass,' to name a few. Finally I was taken to a federal detention center in Las Vegas and was ushered into a large jail cell! I spent the night in jail with 43 prisoners - most of them drug dealers and picked up at street fights!

The next day I went through processing in a federal court building and presented in front of a Federal Judge. The public defender told me that my 'case' was decided and I would be released if I pleaded guilty and paid a fine of $2,500. He also told me that I could refuse to plead guilty, contest the judgment and even could win, but could be taking a long time, cost more and might result in multiple trips to Las Vegas.

Exhausted, depressed and completely deflated, I agreed to what ever the public defender suggested and got out after 24 hours of 'living hell'.

I endured the most horrifying and traumatic 24-hours of my life for a crime I sincerely believe I did not commit. A simple statement by the flight attendant (Lora Lee Minton) in normal tone of voice that I was not supposed to wait in front of the toilet when it was occupied by the pilot, would have saved the ghastly ordeal.

I was told repeatedly by the prison guards, some of the FBI officials (not all of them were rude), the prison inmates who heard my story that the reason I was targeted was because of my skin color (brown) and ethnic background (South Asian, Indian).

When I returned home, I did not feel like lying flat and take the abuse, more so the incident involved not only me but an entire race and ethnic group. I sent my story to local, state and national news papers including all the major Indian news publications. The response was overwhelming: the news papers were very receptive; I received numerous e-mails, letters, phone-calls, sympathy and supportive cards; every one wanted me to 'fight-it-out' and 'not to keep quite and do nothing.'

I did send my story to ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) of Missouri and Nevada , yet I haven't heard from them yet, though I was told that my experience had merit. I contacted attorneys locally as well as in St Louis and was told that they were looking for proper attorneys that specialize in civil liberties cases; I was told by some that I should not have pleaded guilty and should find eye-witnesses that would testify in my favor.

During 30 years of my stay in America , I never felt so threatened nor my rights so violated as I did that fateful night. 'You are not guilty until proven otherwise', the anthem we are made to believe all the time was turned out to be not true; I was guilty until prove my self innocent. I was treated like a guilty person and was never given a chance even to tell my side of the story. Even after the incidence, I am finding it difficult to prove my innocence. I want Southwest Air Lines to realize their mistake and drop charges against me. I did contact Southwest airlines and was informed that they were standing by their stewardess and the issue had no racial profile or bias.

(Thanks to Ashish!)
(Photo: Cubbie_n_Vegas)

Here's a head's up - Continental has canceled dozens of flights going into and out of Houston (IAH)...but they haven't told anyone. They canceled my outbound flight to California through Houston (which, fine, understandable), but didn't send me so much as an email or phone call, like most carriers do. It wasn't until I tried to check this morning that I was met with their proposed new flight plan (see attached.) It's sad and hilarious at the same time. Needless to say, I've rebooked since then.

I'd have been in trouble at the airport if I hadn't tried to check in this morning, so just a warning to anyone trying to fly across the country today - the airlines, particularly Continental, are doing their usual awesome job at handling the situation. I'm not so much upset about changing my plans, it's the total lack of communication from Continental and the completely useless "solution" they tried to offer.

(Photo: FlyGuy92586)

Nicholas writes:

Orbitz is amazing for getting your flights fixed if you can get a supervisor on the line. I was on a business trip that involved multiple stops. Naturally one of my flights was canceled early in the trip, which threw off all of the remaining flights.

Orbitz called me about 2 1/2 hours before my flight, let me know and recommended (after putting me on hold to verify with USAir) that I travel from the small regional airport that I was in to the nearest international airport to catch a flight sooner. A $240 cab ride later I find myself at the international airport with all USAir flights canceled, and most of Southwest still flying.

USAir then informed me that because my origin airport was changed they could not get me onto an earlier flight to a different destination airport that was about as close to my destination as the original. (Destination = Utica, NY. Airports = Syracuse/Albany)

They then booked me a flight anyway, but told me I had to immediately book my return flight. I told them I'd call them back once I setup a new meeting. They said I had to book it right then and there. I explained that because I had to cancel one meeting already I didn't know when I could reschedule a new one. Luckily during this argument I got a call from one of the guys I was supposed to meet. I got the meeting scheduled, but lost the [USAir] call.

When I called back they had already taken back the ticket they issued me in the previous phone call and basically said I was SOL.

The Orbitz CSR then put me on a (secret) conference call with USAir where the USAir rep essentially said I should have never been given the ticket in the first place and that it's not his problem. The Orbitz CSR then asked me if I heard what the USAir rep had said, I replied that I wasn't too happy about it, and that I wanted my flights booked immediately. Apparently USAir reps don't like it when customers get to hear them not doing their jobs, judging by all the yelling and threats directed at the Orbitz CSR. I had the rest of my trip booked in 15 mins.

The first level of Orbitz CSRs are morons and absolutely not worth talking to at all. I was a passenger on a trip someone else booked, but every CSR insisted on asking me personal information about the person that booked the trip. No amount of logic could progress the conversation. After losing my temper I achieved a 50/50 ratio of getting a supervisor or getting hung up on.

We're not sure of the lesson here, except that it helps to be told immediately when a leg of your flight is canceled. It also helps to have a feisty customer service supervisor on your side who won't take "No" for an answer, but we're not sure how you ask for that person when you call in.

Deepak writes:

With all the bad press airlines have been receiving of late, here's a positive story for you. My wife & I were on a flight back to Seattle from Oakland a few weeks ago (Aug 10th). Almost immediately after take off, the pilot came on the intercom and said that a pressure sensor had gone off, and we had to go back to Oakland. After a collective groan from everybody on board, we turned back around and landed. They kept us on the plane for a short amount of time while the mechanic examined the issue. He apparently determined it wasn't fixable in short order, so they deplaned us, and put us on another plane. All in all, the delay was maybe 2 hours tops, and everybody at Southwest was very nice, as were all of the passengers.

So we arrive in Seattle a couple of hours later than expected, no big deal for us at all, given it was a Sunday afternoon, and we weren't in a rush to get anyplace but home. A week or so later, we each received the following letter from Melissa Chalupa, Assistant Manager, Proactive Customer Service Communications. Sorry I don't have a scanner, so I'm transcribing it instead. Included with this letter was a $175 voucher for Southwest!

I'm already a pretty loyal Southwest customer, but this was an unexpected (to me at least) gesture!

Southwest's letter:

I'm sorry for the unexpected circumstances surrounding the disruption of your Aug 10 flight from Oakland. In addition to my apologies, I'd like to provide you with some information about what happened that afternoon.

Shortly after takeoff, the Pilots received a low pressure indication for one of the two independent hydraulic systems (A&B) on the aircraft. In response to this situation the Captain returned to have the aircraft inspected. In this case, the problem was with the A hydraulic System - there was a fluid leak. After speaking with our Maintenance Department, I learned that the supply line which helps operate one of the movable panels on the aircraft's wing surface was leaking hydraulic fluid, and as such, the corresponding line was then replaced to fix the problem.

Thank you for your patience while alternate flight arrangements were made to continue your trip. With the hope that you will grant us the opportunity to prove there are better experiences to have with us, I'm sending a LUV Voucher to each person who was onboard your flight that we invite you to apply toward future Southwest reservations. We truly appreciate your valued patronage, and we look forward to welcoming you back again real soon.

Kind Regards
Melissa Chalupa

Enclose : One Southwest LUV Voucher.

Compare Southwest's response to U.S. Airways'. The situations are obviously different, but Southwest is practically eager to throw around vouchers to keep customers happy. As we've seen, happy customers mean profitable companies. The difference is just one of the reasons U.S. Airways' profit plummeted by almost 20% last quarter, while Southwest's soared 11%.

PREVIOUSLY: Above And Beyond: Southwest Melts Customer's Heart After Deicing Snafu
Retain 5% More Customers, Reap 35-95% More Profit
How To Beat The Stock Market: Buy Companies With High Customer Satisfaction Scores
(Photo: dooleymtv)

Try to read the first sentence below and not turn "wanded" into a euphemism, we dare ya.

Kates said that although she flies about once a month, the only other time her bra has set off alarms in an airport was while she was being "wanded" in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. When she explained to the security agent that the wand was picking up the metal in her bra, she said, that was the end of the matter and she was allowed to go on her way.

The TSA says they have to check for bombs:

TSA spokesman Nico Melendez said Monday that he wasn't familiar with the incident. But he said in all circumstances, "we have to resolve an alarm."

That's the case for bras, artificial hips or anything with metal that sets off an alarm, he said. "Unfortunately, we can't take a passenger's word for it."

If you're a large-breasted woman, when you reach the TSA checkpoint you might want to yank your bra off and toss it in a tray. Not because TSA is demanding it, but because we'd just love to see that start happening a lot.

"Delayed by her bra, air passenger is indignant" [SFGate] (Thanks to Scott!)
(Photo: Getty)

From the Nova Scotia News:

The Toronto Star reported Saturday that Jazz, Air Canada’s regional affiliate, plans to reduce fuel consumption by dropping commercial life vests from its flights, which will amount to about 25 kilograms less aboard its Dash-8 planes with 50 seats.

The move will leave passengers holding onto their seats — or at least their floating seat cushions — in the event the plane ditches and they hit the water alive.

Transport Canada regulations allow airlines to use flotation devices, a secondary option for other carriers, instead of life vests as long as the planes remain within 90 kilometres of shore. A Jazz official said a number of its East Coast routes were adjusted so the planes met that requirement, the Star reported.

One former airline CSR interviewed for the report wondered what would happen to infants and people who couldn't grab on to their seat cushions...

"If you have an infant (and) you don’t have a (life vest), you’re hanging on to the cushion," he said. "Are they saying, ‘Hang onto the cushion with one arm and your baby with another?’

"I mean, who comes up with these things?"

What do you think?

Airline ditches life vests to save on fuel [NSN](Thanks, Aaron !)

Completely unrelated to delays, bumpings or overbooking, we had a shockingly traumatic customer service experience with Airtran coming back from our honeymoon yesterday morning that I wanted to share with you.

We were checking three bags at Boston's Logan airport and the woman checking us in said one of our bags was oversized and would incur a $29 oversize bag fee. We were surprised, since we weren't charged a fee for an oversized bag on the first leg of our trip. When we asked her about this, she acted really put out and annoyed and got her supervisor. Her supervisor came over, even more annoyed, and said "If you don't watch it, I'll charge you for that first leg, too." (From a conversation with a customer service person 20 minutes later on the phone, we learned that this is absolutely not authorized under Airtran policy...I'm not sure where that "retroactive extra fee" would have gone).

We protested, and asked for her name and title. She refused to give us her last name and walked away. We asked the woman checking us in for her name—she too refused, and tucked her name badge inside her sweater so we couldn't see it. Fortunately I had already looked and wrote it down. Deciding that our conversation was over, she yelled out "Next!" We didn't leave, and asked again for her name and title because we wanted to complain about her hostility and her threat to charge us retroactively for something that obviously wasn't our fault.

Her response? She yelled "Get the hell out of my god damn face!" in front of about 100 people waiting in line, including many families with small children. We were absolutely shocked, and when I asked her "Did you really just say that to me?" she screamed it again, making threatening gestures and frightening both us and the people around us. Her supervisor watched from about 20 feet away, doing nothing.

When we approached her supervisor to complain, the supervisor's response was "She didn't say that", and her tone insinuated that we had made it up. She added, "There aren't any witnesses." When we pointed to several people who could attest to the fact that a) her employee had indeed exploded in the unprovoked, threatening manner described above, and that b) there were dozens of witnesses, the supervisor responded to the effect of "Don't worry about it. Go to your flight and I'll handle it." Her tone was casual, dismissive and condescending, and I'm fairly certain that no disciplinary action was taken since she had essentially watched the episode unfold before her eyes without doing or saying anything.

I'd like to note, too, that when asked again, this supervisor refused to give us her full name.

We had a plane to catch so all we could do was file a formal complaint on the phone and demand our money back for being subjected to such an emotionally traumatizing experience without cause or provocation. They said the best they could offer us was a $25 travel voucher, since "the airline doesn't compensate for rudeness." When we explained that this incident transcended rudeness to include being physically threatened and lied to about corporate policy, they didn't budge.

Any ideas for what we should do next? As you can imagine, we're furious and want some kind of appropriate resolution—no company should be permitted to treat paying customers like that without repercussions, and we feel like Airtran knows it can get away with this without any consequences.

Sincerely,
Jon

Jon, your best solution is to buy your own airplane. Ha ha, but seriously, we hope you didn't accept that voucher just yet. Check out this soldier's story of how he persisted with his demands until they were finally met—it may give you some idea of how to proceed. Check out our "Fighting Back" post for other tips.

However, if AirTran really doesn't compensate for rude treatment, then the voucher may be all you'll be able to get—in which case we suggest you cross AirTran off your list of desired carriers.

(Photo: Getty)

Based on the chart provided at Surfline.com, the U.S. carriers are some of the worst culprits. Delta charges $150 each way, United charges between $100-$200 each way depending on board length, American charges $100 each way, and Continental charges $95 each way. (As you might expect, Jet Blue and Southwest are both more affordable, at $25 and $50 each way respectively.)

According to the Los Angeles Times, Delta says surfboards require too much special handling, and of course they blame fuel prices:

The surfboard fees are high because the boards require special care and extra handling, Delta said. They don't go through the normal baggage carousel but must be carried on special elevators to the claims area.

"There are handling costs associated with surfboards that we have to account for," Delta spokesman Kent Landers said. The hike in charges also reflects a general increase in fees to "cover and reflect the unprecedented increase in fuel costs," he added.

Surfers disagree:

But surfers contend that the fees for their boards are unfairly high compared with other items. Although they are large and need special handling as an oversize bag, a typical short board weighs about 4 pounds while a larger board may swell to only 15 pounds.

"It's not the weight thing," said Marcus Sanders, a Huntington Beach surfer and editor of surfing website Surfline.com, whose airline fee guide received 20,000 hits in the first two days it was posted last month. "They just think that it's an extra pain on their employees, that the boards take up extra space on their planes and that we make up a small percentage of its passengers."

The article points out that the combined fees from Delta and Hawaiian airlines cost one traveler about half what a new kite board (think smaller surfboard) would cost:

"You know, I just realized I'm going to be paying $360 to take my board along," Cowan, a Ridgway, Colo., resident, said after checking in his board, which was 4 feet, 9 inches long and weighed about 11 pounds.

Both the LA Times and Surfline.com suggest you look at foreign carriers if you want to avoid or minimize fees.

"Airlines' Fees for Surfboards are Dinging Surfers" [Los Angeles Times] (Thanks to David!)

RELATED
"Breakdown of boardbag charges by airline" [Surfline.com]

First, I am active duty military and I only get so many days of leave; when extenuating circumstances happen to delay travel - I still get charged for the leave.

So there I was on Monday, 11 Aug in the Detroit Metro Airport which happens to be NWAs worldwide hub. I am there a little more than an hour and a half prior to my flight. I was scheduled to leave around 130p on a Monday.

When I checked in at the E-ticket console a message flashed stating that the flight was overbooked and that I was being offered a voucher. I arrived with the intention of checking my only bag because I needed to check a firearm - something that I have done several times. Current TSA policy on firearms is that they need to be in a hard-sided case and locked (my case was a standard manufacturer's case that is completely hard-sided and has been through airlines checks numerous times).

I usually have a lock, but TSA always ends up taking it off and telling me I don't need it. Of course this time I didn't take a lock. The NWA agent told me, after I informed her of my firearm, that TSA wouldn't check it because it didn't have a lock, I told her I would talk to them and see what they would say.

The TSA agent told me that she wouldn't take it without a lock. Trying to minimize time-damage, I asked her if a zip tie would do - logicizing (that absolutely has to be a word) that since law enforcement and military use zip ties in lieu of steel handcuffs to detain people, a zip tie should work instead of a mini lock that I could bend with my bare hands.

She said, mockingly, that I could not use a zip tie. I asked, "what constitutes a lock?" She replied, "A lock." I politely thanked her for clearing that up for me. The NWA agent, who was trying to be friendly and helpful at a very busy point in the day, actually left the desk to go look for a padlock that they could sell me.

Okay, fair enough, rules is rules—get your OP-blaming out of the way now, because this is where it gets very silly.

While [the NWA agent] was gone, the TSA agent told me that she "can't let this through, even if it has a lock on it it's still accessible".

I was confused and said that I did not understand what she meant. She again stated that the case was accessible even if it had a lock. I explained that I did not know what she meant but that TSA's policy and website state the only two requirements (ammo notwithstanding) are a hard-sided case and a lock. She said, "Even if this has a lock on it, I'm not letting it through."

I pulled out my 3g iPhone, pulled up TSA's website and found the firearm policy and showed it to her. She said, "TSA sometimes gives us different policies than they give you."

I responded, "Are you kidding me? I don't think when it comes to firearms TSA is going to surprise passengers with some magical policy to prevent them from checking firearms they're allowed to check." She responded with, "I'm not letting it through."

I asked, "Who do I talk to about getting this through?; she replied, "A supervisor." I asked if I could please speak with a supervisor and she said, no kidding, "I am a supervisor." Does anyone really believe that a supervisor of any kind is actually going to be on shift at the ticketing counter inspecting baggage and tossing it onto the belt?

I asked to speak to a supervisor, [and was told] iit would be 30 minutes before he arrived. Foreseeing a possible "late arrival" and subsequent loss of seat, I asked the same NWA agent if the vouchers were still being offered, she said yes and I asked if I could sell my seat back for one and she said, "No, you have to be at the gate."

This I know to be untrue for two reasons: I've done it before and it's a ticketing counter and I was asking for help with ticketing. I didn't contest; I waited a few minutes and then went back to her and asked if I could call the gate from the counter and try to do it over the phone; she said "No, you have to be at the gate."

Again, I know this to be untrue because I had just done it with NWA a few weeks prior, not even for me but on behalf of my fiancee. Regardless, I dropped it. The TSA supervisor was great: I gave him a quick explanation, asked him if my case was within policy, he said "Yes, what's the problem?" To which I responded, "Your agent doesn't know your policy and is trying to tell me that you guys have secret policies."

He essentially ignored that, [but] he actually went and got me a TSA lock and gave it to me for free, inspected my bag on the spot and checked it through. After asking, he agreed to escort me to the front of security so I wouldn't miss my flight.

Hooray! Through security! But of course they delay set up a chain reaction.

I asked the NWA agent for my boarding pass (she had taken it earlier when I'd asked for the voucher) - she told me I wouldn't make the flight - it was about 15-20 minutes prior to takeoff, she had told me that at 10 minutes you are checked as late and the seat is given away.

I told her I would still like to try because I still want to try for the voucher, I explained TSA was going to escort me right through security and that I thought I could make it. She said, again, "You won't make it," and she took it upon herself to cancel me off of my scheduled flight and put me on the 730pm flight.

So after I got through security, I went to the NWA customer service center, picked up a "reservation" phone that automatically dials a reservations rep and after a couple minutes of explanation to her she gave me the number of the NWA Detroit Director of Operations (I don't think she realized whose number she'd given me - especially considering the NWA agent at a desk didn't know the guys name when I told her I needed to call him). This guy didn't answer, I left him a message, I never got a call back.

I also called - because the TSA supervisor told me I might be able to get reimbursement - the Detroit TSA customer support manager. He called me back within an hour. I explained to him what'd happened. He stated that he would do an investigation and talk to his people to see what they say happened; gee, I wonder what they're going to say. I asked him what their reimbursement policy was, should he conclude that I was right, he said "we don't have one." He went on to say that his agents err on the side of security. I said, this is absolutely not a case of someone erring on the side of security, she flat out told me hat she didn't know the policy. He then changed his statement to "well, she erred on the side of safety." I laughed and told him it was still the same, that she essentially told me she didn't know the policy - not safety, not security. He said he'd do an investigation and get back to me, that was over a week ago.

I ended up volunteering for a voucher and was put up in a hotel overnight. I asked where my bag would be and was told it would be waiting for me in San Antonio. When I got to San Antonio, the NWA agent first told me it was on the carousel; the same agent, after the carousel was empty, told me she probably had it at the counter. When she finally met me at the counter, she told me she didn't have the keys to the room and I had to do a claim.

After all of that, there's a happy ending, but only because Matt wouldn't let the matter drop. Here's a good example of how persistence can pay off.

Later in the week I spent approx. an hour dialing various numbers and holding and pushing buttons until I finally got through to a person. At first, this woman was surprisingly friendly; she listened to my tale and told me that absolutely I should have been able to do the voucher at the ticketing counter; she told me she'd never heard a case like this, wanted to give me a voucher, but she said she had to go check with her "Sup"[ervisor] first.

When she came back, the warmth was gone and all I got was, "You were made late because of TSA, there's nothing I can do for you."

I told her I was delayed, but not made late and the NWA agent didn't give me a chance to get the offered voucher. She responded, "Yeah, you didn't get to the gate so it wasn't NWAs fault," to which I responded, "It was NWAs fault that I didn't get to the gate." I had to repeat that a couple time. She eventually said she would put down "rude behavior/treatment" by an agent and offered me a $75 voucher.

I said that I wasn't treated rudely, and that I should be getting the flight voucher. She repeated the usual, I said "I don't accept your premise" and she just stated that there was nothing she could do for me. I asked to speak to a supervisor - you know, the "Sup" she just talked to 5 minutes ago - and she said, I thought it was deja vu, "I am a supervisor." I almost laughed; confused by her short memory I asked if I could speak to her supervisor; she said she could do an "escalation," I said that would be fine; she took down my phone number and a good time to call and said that I would receive a call within 24 hours. I never received that call.

I waited a few days and then wrote an email to Kristen Shovlin (from your website) and Beth Reed (from some other website) - both listed as executive types. When I clicked on the "Beth" email link on the other site, Kristen's email address came up; I manually typed in Beth's. Within 3 hours I got a response from Jodee with the usual humminah humminah and I got the voucher.

Thanks for everything you do; hope this is helpful.

Matt

We won't reprint Matt's entire email, because we're running out of space on the web for this story, but basically it was a slightly shorter version of what you just read with the TSA part reduced to "TSA delayed me." At the end of the email, Matt states clearly,

I am sorry for my verbosity, but I feel strongly that I should receive a flight voucher. I tried all of the proper channels first and received essentially no resolution.

(Photo: Getty)

"We do not agree with the FAA's [latest] findings and characterizations of American's action in these cases," the airline said in a statement. "We believe the proposed penalties are excessive."

The FAA defended the fine in a statement of its own:
"The FAA believes the large total amount of the fine for these violations is appropriate because American Airlines was aware that appropriate repairs were needed, and instead deferred maintenance."

As for the drug testing issue, the FAA wants to fine AA $1.7 million for warning its employees ahead of time when they were scheduled to be tested. The tests are supposed to be unannounced.

The FAA proposed $7.1 million in fines against American for violations that included:

•$4.4 million for improperly deferring maintenance in December

•$1.7 million for problems with its drug- and alcohol-testing program

•$1 million for operating planes without properly inspecting the emergency- path lighting system

American Airlines faces $7.1M in fines for safety violations [Dallas Morning News]
(Photo: Joshua Davis jdavis.info )

• Holding $5,000 in tickets from a family for six months, then telling them the day before that the flight has been canceled;
• When confronted with the fact that the flight hasn't been canceled, telling the family that the reservation has been lost;
• Finally admitting that they've bumped the family from the flight and were lying about the cancelation and the lost reservation;
• Offering replacement seats on multiple planes and days, splitting the family up on different flights and depositing them at different islands;
• Offering to get them there 5 days into a 7 day vacation, part of which was scheduled to spend time with a family member who was dying in a hospice in Hawaii;
• Refusing to write a letter on the family's behalf so that they can collect their insurance payment on the house they rented but never used.

How could United mess up a trip so badly? The mother who arranged all of it, Anita Cabral, suspects it has to do with the bottom line:

Cabral has a theory for this shabby treatment: fuel prices.

Between January and June, as the oil industry mounted its historic shakedown of consumers, the price of those tickets tripled. The folks who paid the most got to fly.

The columnist who wrote about the Cabrals' problems said he called United directly for a response, and was never called back.

"Bad airline stories are nothing like this" [Sign On San Diego] (Thanks to Randy!)
(Photo: Cubbie_n_Vegas)

The cancellation seems legit—the plane simply won't be there when it's scheduled—but because United is calling it weather-related, they don't have to compensate Jonathan or find him a seat on another carrier.

I bought tickets on United for my friend to fly from Boston (BOS) to Chicago (ORD) leaving last Friday and returning today. On the way out she was delayed nearly four hours due to mechanical and paperwork problems. At this point I was already expecting some form of compensation as a loyal United customer for years.

Yesterday United calls to say her returning flight has been canceled. She was supposed to leave at 8am to get a half day of work in, but apparently the next available United flight leaves at 1pm. That won't work, I explain, and ask for the ticket to be endorsed to another carrier that can meet our schedule. The customer service rep responds that the cancellation is weather-related and therefore not eligible for endorsement.

This sounded pretty fishy - a flight canceled a day in advance due to weather? I first check other United flights in the morning and hers is the only one canceled. How could that be if there’s bad weather? The rep explains the weather's earlier in the morning; the plane couldn't make it to Chicago for her flight. Same problem - only the one flight in from Boston was canceled. In addition, flights on other major carriers were all still scheduled. So at this point it's not weather in the early morning either.

I finally get a supervisor who explains that the bad weather was yesterday night, and United canceled a flight to Boston which would have positioned the plane to head to Chicago early today and finally back to Boston for our flight. To verify this new story I checked the FAA's airport status site, which said there were only delays of up to 45 minutes in Boston because of thunderstorms. And again, other United flights and carriers were making it into Boston, albeit with substantial delays. Doesn't sound like a forced cancellation to me.

United's claim to weather isn't the usual and understandable problem, then - storms between the endpoints during the flight. Nor is it even weather for the flight inbound, which is a bit of a stretch for me; if the skies are clear I feel it's up to the airline to find a plane. If other carriers can fly the route, it's not weather. United’s claim is bad weather the day before that seems to have selectively impacted them. No way does weather - which may not even have been cancellation-worthy - the day before, two flights before, justify this cancellation. I’ve heard stories of airlines stretching what counts as a weather-related delay / cancellation before, but this is a whopper.

Jonathan asks, "How would you suggest approaching an airline in future when they claim weather is a factor when you feel it isn’t? How would you frame a request to United for compensation? And what compensation do you feel it would be appropriate to ask for?"

Jonathan, you might want to try calling the FAA's hotline to ask them if there's any sort of regulation about this. You should also escalate this up to the executive level and demand some clarification about United's official "weather cancellation" policy. Finally, you may want to try contacting the travel writer/advocate Christopher Elliott at www.elliott.org—this is the kind of topic he might know more about, or he might be able to ask an airline representative on your behalf.

Readers, any suggestions? Do any of you know whether there's a statute of limitations on blaming weather for canceled flights?

(Photo: Getty)

Delta is also raising fees on oversized items and heavy items.

First-class passengers, international travelers and elite members of Delta’s frequent-flier program will still be allowed to check two bags for free. First-class and elite travelers can check up to three bags at no charge on international flights; a third bag will now cost a coach-class passenger traveling overseas an extra $150.

Items that are 62 to 80 inches long, including athletic equipment like surfboards and skis, will cost $175 to check after Tuesday on all flights. They now cost $150.

Delta is also increasing its charges for heavy baggage, regardless of whether it is included in a free baggage allowance. A bag that weighs 51 to 70 pounds will cost the traveler $90 to check in the United States, and $150 on an international trip, up from $80.

A bag weighing from 71 to 100 pounds will cost as much as $300 to check on an international trip, compared with $150.

Although a before-and-after chart of the new fees is supposed to be available at www.delta.com, as of July 29th we couldn't find it (if you do, please post the link in the comments below).

"Delta Raises Fee for a Second Bag " [New York Times] (Thanks to Ken and Mary!)
(Photo: Getty)

The man was taken into custody and later released on bail. A Delta spokesperson told the AP that they will be filing charges against the man for interfering with flight crewmembers. Well, at least he was paying attention during the "safety lecture," right?

Angry flier uses emergency slide to exit Delta jet [USAToday](Thanks, David!)
(Photo: balmes )

1. Buying really far in advance usually doesn't matter
The lowest prices get released in the period 2-8 weeks beforehand. Buying earlier than eight weeks in advance won't usually won't get you any deals, and you might even miss out.

2. Buying really far in advance DOES matter for peak travel dates
Spring Break flights leaving on Friday, Sunday returns during summer months, and, of course, anything around Thanksgiving and Christmas.

3. Snatch up price drops
Fare cuts are usually bye bye in 2 days.

4. Spurn high fares
Hiked prices are often cut when airlines have to make up for all the lost business from prices being too high.

5. Day of flight is important
The cheapest days to fly are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Don't believe me? Read this.

6. Day of ticket purchase matters
Price drops usually get rolled out earlier in the week

7. Leave earlier, stay longer
You can save during holiday rush times if you depart a day earlier and come back a day later than most people would.

What are your favorite tricks for saving on airfare? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Tracking Air Fares: Elaborate Algorithms Predict Ticket Prices [WIRED]

(Photo: iwantamonkey)

The kill switch guidelines:

The primary focus of the “divert an aircraft” task is to control the airspace and enforce no-fly or restricted flight zones. Effects should be focused on the aircraft, not the pilot or other personnel on board. The capability should enable the enforcement of flight restriction zones (e.g., metropolitan Washington, D.C.), protection of critical infrastructure and other high value assets from a possible aerial threat.

For aircraft on the ground, “stop” requires the aircraft to come to 0 mph at some point between when it starts to taxi and when it reaches abort speed. The requirement to “disable” includes actions to render inoperable, deny use, and/or deny access to an aircraft on the ground. Successful accomplishment of either objective results in keeping the targeted aircraft from becoming airborne.

So far, nobody is quite sure how to design and implement such a device. Additionally, the government would like to see this magical device on boats too. They wish to have a device that could, from 100 meters, "safely stop or significantly impede the movement" of vessels up to 40 feet long, with "minimal collateral damage."

Even if such a device could be properly engineered and implemented, would you be at ease with flying on an airplane that had a government-controlled kill switch which could suddenly take control the aircraft at a moment's notice? Instead of preventing harm, it seems to us, that such a device would only create another avenue for terrorists who could exploit such a device to their advantage. Furthermore, it seems reasonable to believe, like any piece of technology, that this device could malfunction and potentially activate itself. Do you think a kill switch on airplanes is a good idea? How would you go about inventing such a thing?

Pentagon Wants Kill Switch for Planes [Wired]
(Photo: Getty)

This week, travel guy Christopher Elliott talks about the growing worthlessness of buddy passes—the travel vouchers airline employees get for family members, or unhappy customers sometimes get as a peace offering. For examples, "on American Airlines, it’s often less expensive to buy an advance-purchase ticket than to use a buddy pass, once you factor in all taxes and fees." And Continental will add a $100 to $400 surcharge per buddy pass starting this Monday, rendering the "perk" of a buddy pass entirely moot.

But wait. It gets better.

As a result of current market conditions, CO is no longer in a position to absorb additional fuel costs for the weight of a Buddy Pass rider’s second checked bag. Like non-elite revenue passengers, Buddy Pass riders will be assessed a $25 service charge for their second checked bag. When applicable, excess, overweight, and oversized baggage charges will still apply.

This is sending a clear message to Continental’s employees: Our elite frequent fliers are more important than your friends and family. What a shame.

So the next time some airline apologist points out that Gokhan Mutlu, the JetBlue toilet passenger, was flying on a buddy pass, it’s worth noting that these passes hardly pass for a perk anymore.

"You call that a perk? The truth about airline buddy passes" [Elliott.org]

RELATED
"JetBlue Forces Passenger To Sit On Toilet For Flight"
(Photo: Getty Images)

The passenger, Gokhan Mutlu, was traveling on a buddy pass, and says about 90 minutes in to the 5 1/2 hour flight from New York to San Diego the pilot told him to give up his seat to a flight attendant.

When Mutlu expressed reluctance to go sit in the bathroom, the pilot, who was not named in the lawsuit, told him that "he was the pilot, that this was his plane, under his command that (Mutlu) should be grateful for being on board," the lawsuit said.

When the aircraft hit turbulence and passengers were directed to return to their seats, but "the plaintiff had no seat to return to, sitting on a toilet stool with no seat belts," court papers say.

Sometime later, a male flight attendant knocked on the restroom door and told Mutlu he could return to his original seat, court papers say.

We wonder if this is just a new corporate policy to reduce the attractiveness of buddy passes. To be honest, though, traveling in a plane bathroom—no strangers sitting nearby, your own sink, free to stand or sit the entire time, and the opportunity to spend most of the flight in your underwear—doesn't really sound that bad. It'd be like a very short prison term, and who doesn't want to get away from everything now and then?

"Man Says JetBlue Pilot Forced Him To Sit On Toilet" [CBStv.com] (Thanks to everyone who sent this in!)
(Photo: qmnonic)

What are the inherent difficulties in pulling together that process?
 
One of our Achilles heels is a very antiquated communications system. We use 1950s technology to communicate in a 2010 environment. The frustrating thing is, there are incredible technologies available for communicating — via data-link or digital voice radio systems — and I've seen people die because we haven't implemented those technologies.

So where will all this drama end? We figure by the end of the season, US Airways will be merging with someone in a cute wedding chapel, but then a bunch of men will run in firing machine guns and we won't know who lived and who died until the fall!

Combining United with Continental would create a company with a combined $35 billion in revenue and nearly 100,000 employees, surpassing the Delta-Northwest combination as the world's largest airline.
 
But that merger may not happen. United Airlines, whose shares plunged 40 percent when it reported a quarterly loss earlier this week, is also talking to US Airways.
 
Analysts have said a merger between those two carriers would be less complex than one between United and Continental Airlines.
 
JP Morgan analyst Jamie Baker earlier this week said a deal between United and US Airways could be easier when it comes to aligning the wages of pilots, combining fleets and reducing flights and seats.

Officially the calculator is part of a for-profit that lets you purchase carbon offset credits, but we remain skeptical of the idea that you can buy your way free from carbon emissions. What it could be useful for, though, is comparing different airlines to see which one comes in with the lowest score, and then factoring that into your next travel booking.

"New emissions calculator reveals true cost of your flight" [Elliott.org]

According to the TampaBays10 news,

On a recent trip to Atlantic City aboard Spirit Airlines, [Barbara Blewitt] couldn't believe what she saw when she arrived at baggage claim.
 
"I looked and there on the floor was my luggage," says Blewitt who discovered her bag had been mysteriously burned.
 
"I said what does that mean, what happened here? My clothes are burned!"
 
Spirit Airlines gave Blewitt a "Baggage Irregularity Receipt" last month at the airport. She says she hasn't heard from anyone at the airline since.

Anderson also was asked if a combined Delta-Northwest would be profitable in its first year, and he responded, "It will all be a product of fuel prices ... and stay tuned for earnings tomorrow and you'll see what a dramatic effect it's had."

"Report: Delta CEO says airline fares to rise 15-20 %" [BizJournals]
(Photo: Getty)

Continental Airlines, for example, issued two bulletins last year expressing concern over the number of refueling stops that some flights were making en route to Newark, N.J., one of which observed that "adding fuel indiscriminately without critical thinking ultimately reduces profit sharing and possibly pension funding."

The reports do not represent a valid statistical sample, for example, because they are voluntary and by definition incomplete. And they are redacted to conceal the identities of the pilots, making it impossible to verify individual statements. But NASA, which maintains the Aviation Safety and Reporting System, says it considers the database a reliable and conservative snapshot of events.

Following local news reports late last year that some airliners were arriving at Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey with dangerously little fuel left in their tanks, Laura Brown, a spokeswoman for the FAA, said: "We don't have any indication right now that airlines are flying planes with less than the required amount of fuel."
 
But Schricker said, "Management is juggling, and what they do by doing that is they decrease the margin of safety."
 
As a result, said Russ Miller, an air traffic controller at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, aircraft now often sound minimum-fuel alerts while they are in holding patterns.