(Van in L.A.)

Cops: Suspected Phone Thief Called 9-1-1 Because Victim Wouldn’t Leave Her Alone

Who do you turn to when some stranger is harassing you, refusing to leave you alone? The police, of course. But perhaps not, if the reason this person won’t stop bothering you is that you happened to steal his phone just moments before. Ah, life lessons. [More]

The Police Do Not Care That Facebook Is Down: Stop Calling

The Police Do Not Care That Facebook Is Down: Stop Calling

Maybe we need to stop writing about the instances where you are not supposed to call emergency services, and instead we should make a list of the times when you are supposed to dial 9-1-1. For example, if you are in imminent danger. If your house is on fire. If someone nearby is having a life-threatening health problem. When you should not dial 9-1-1: Facebook is down. [More]

(Alan Rappa)

Calling 9-1-1 To Report A Fake Murder Won’t Get You Out Of A Speeding Ticket

Getting pulled over for speeding is no fun, of course — but when those sirens come on, most responsible drivers accept that they’ll just have to face the music and take a ticket. One Florida man had bigger ideas than getting a ticket — and by “bigger” I by no means “better,” because reporting a murder that didn’t happen is just not going to work out. [More]

(kevindean)

Don’t Call 9-1-1 Repeatedly Just Because Your Wife Threw Your Beer Away

Some nights, I dream of a time when there won’t be any ridiculous calls to 9-1-1 reporting all the various non-emergencies we’ve reported on in the past. It’s a good thing I’m an optimistic person who loves to sleep a lot, because I might be dreaming for a while. I’m talking to you, guy who allegedly called 9-1-1 repeatedly because his wife threw his beer out. [More]

(frankieleon)

Can’t Call For Help? You Can Now Text 9-1-1 With An Emergency In Some Cities

Depending where you live, you’ll now be able to text 9-1-1 from your cellphone if you for some reason you can’t make that emergency phone call when you need it. The program is rolling out in certain areas now, with expansion to the rest of the country planned by the end of the year. [More]

(Brett Levin Photography)

Reminder: A 9-1-1 Dispatcher Is Not The Person To Ask Where You Can Buy Some Pot

Listen, I’m not going to get into whether or not you should be calling anyone for a substance that is illegal by federal law. Live your own life, Cousin Dusty used to say as he rode off into the sunset on his cool motorcycle. But don’t call 9-1-1 asking where you can buy some marijuana, because that is not an emergency. And again, federal law, crime, etc. [More]

Do Not Call 9-1-1 When Subway Puts The Wrong Sauce On Your Flatizza

Do Not Call 9-1-1 When Subway Puts The Wrong Sauce On Your Flatizza

If a restaurant makes your pizza–or, in the case of Subway, your Flatizza–incorrectly, you’re entitled to a refund. You should not, however, try to enlist the help of local law enforcement by calling 9-1-1 to report a crime against pizza. When a South Carolina woman did exactly that last week, she was sent to jail and released on bond, charged with misuse of the 9-1-1 system. [More]

FCC: Thousands Of Hotels Don’t Have Phones With Direct Access To 9-1-1

FCC: Thousands Of Hotels Don’t Have Phones With Direct Access To 9-1-1

A few weeks ago, Federal Communications Commission member Ajit Pai decided to start asking hotels if their phones offered direct access to 9-1-1, or if guests would have to dial “9″ first to get an outgoing line or are routed through the front desk first. The results are in, and Pai is not pleased.

[More]

(NoNo Joe)

Woman Calls Cops On Herself To Defend Claim Of Raw Waffles

When you might be in trouble, it’s good to get ahead of the story. We’re not sure whether that’s what led a woman in Tampa, Florida to contact the authorities when a restaurant allegedly served her an uncooked waffle. Did she call the health department, or the Board of Breakfast Foods (which should be a thing)? Nope. She dialed 9-1-1. [More]

FCC Checking With Hotels To See If Reaching Help With 9-1-1 Is As Easy As It Should Be

FCC Checking With Hotels To See If Reaching Help With 9-1-1 Is As Easy As It Should Be

If you were to pick up the phone in a hotel room and dial 9-1-1, what would you get? You probably wouldn’t be in the state of mind to dial 9 first, but that shouldn’t stop you from getting in contact with emergency services as fast as possible, which is why one member of the Federal Communications Commission is looking into how it works at different hotel chains across the country. [More]

Do Not Call 9-1-1 To Request Beer Delivery

Beer is one of the major Consumerist food groups, along with tacos, cheese, and bacon. It’s very important and nice to have around. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should dial up emergency services to report that your granddaughter won’t buy you beer, as one Tennessee woman allegedly did. [Associated Press]

Calling 9-1-1 Will Not Convince Mall Security To Push Your Wheelchair To The Apple Store

Calling 9-1-1 Will Not Convince Mall Security To Push Your Wheelchair To The Apple Store

Sometimes you just need a lift to the Apple Store. Borrowing a wheelchair from the mall, then calling emergency services and demanding that security officers push you there is not how we recommend that you get there. [More]

Police Arrest Woman Who Called 9-1-1 Six Times To Complain About Bar Full Of Drunk People

Police Arrest Woman Who Called 9-1-1 Six Times To Complain About Bar Full Of Drunk People

There is a certain expectation when you enter a certain kind of establishment that serves alcohol: People will be drinking alochol. Shocking, we know. Especially for one woman who allegedly called 9-1-1 six times to complain about people consuming booze at a bar and demanding that cops come and arrest everyone inside the joint. For drinking. [More]

(Morton Fox)

Calling 9-1-1 Won’t Help You Find The Red Jell-O When It Disappears From The Fridge

Here we were, thinking we couldn’t say it enough times that it’s not acceptable to rush to the authorities with non-emergencies — an unsavory taste experiencecell phones in the movie theatera penny’s worth of overcharging for a beer — and yet, it’s still happening. People are still dialing up 9-1-1 all in a dither over things like some strawberry Jell-O disappearing from the fridge at work. [More]

Do Not Call 9-1-1 When You’re Overcharged By A Penny For Beer

Do Not Call 9-1-1 When You’re Overcharged By A Penny For Beer

There are grave injustices in this world, some of which may require an immediate response from emergency personnel. But claiming you were overcharged by a penny for a beer is not one of those injustices. Heck, it’s not even a minor transgression. And yet police say a man called 9-1-1 three times to complain about his ordeal. [More]

(Scoboco)

Blogger Admits He Maybe Overreacted By Calling 9-1-1 To Report Cell Phone Use In Theater

Your head is on fire. A spaceship spewing bug-eyed aliens just landed in the backyard, and they look mean. Someone in the movie theater is using a cell phone, but the staff doesn’t seem to care. The neighbors have turned into ravenous zombies intent on noshing on your brains. Three of the aforementioned scenarios are all emergency situations and thus warrant calling 9-1-1 for help, while one is not. Let’s take a guess which is an inappropriate reason to get emergency responders involved. [More]

McDonald’s Customer Arrested After Calling 9-1-1 About Mixed-Up Order

McDonald’s Customer Arrested After Calling 9-1-1 About Mixed-Up Order

A man in Georgia decided to call 9-1-1 after not receiving everything he ordered during a recent trip to his local McDonald’s. His plan backfired, however, when he was the one who ended up behind bars. [More]