8 Things Companies Have Said That Sounded Like April Fool’s Jokes But Sadly Weren’t

8 Things Companies Have Said That Sounded Like April Fool’s Jokes But Sadly Weren’t

For the calendar-challenged, we’ll point out that today is April 1, meaning the Internet is full of phony products, fake stories, doctored photos… so, you know, it’s like most days on the Internet. Rather than serve up a “United Charges Upgrade Fee For Merely Being Jealous Of First-Class Passengers” headline, or a post about Comcast CEO Brian Roberts giving up his job to play Gretl Von Trapp in a regional theater production of The Sound of Music, we’re looking back at some stories that would have been appropriate for April Fool’s. [More]

(MY PINK SOAPBOX)

Guy Sasses Discount Airline EasyJet On Twitter, Gets Grounded

EasyJet is probably best known to Americans as “the European discount airline that isn’t RyanAir,” if they’ve heard of it at all. Now they’re also the airline that grounds adults for sassing them on the Internet. That’s what happened to a law professor and columnist who was annoyed that he might miss his connection when an EasyJet flight was delayed, and more annoyed that a soldier might miss his. [More]

(Jon Gos)

Ryanair CEO’s New Customer Service Strategy: Be Nice To People Instead Of Making Them Cry

Every time Ryanair’s CEO Michael “Seatbelts Don’t Matter” O’Leary opens his mouth, we’ve come to expect amusing things, usually about how much the airline doesn’t give a flying fig about customers. But O’Leary is trumpeting a turnaround today, something unprecedented for the airline: Being nice to customers. [More]

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jongos/207120537/sizes/z/

Budget Airline Ryan Air Appeals Third Blocked Bid To Buy Rival Aer Lingus

Budget airline Ryanair, of the standing room-only cabins idea, has big plans for its Irish rival Aer Lingus. But it can’t get down to that happy future of slashing customer comfort and stripping the flying experience down to bare bones just yet because the European Union has blocked its third attempt to acquire its competitor. [More]

(jon gos)

Ryanair CEO Wants Standing Room Only Cabins Because Duh, Seatbelts Are Useless

Surprise! Okay, no surprise: Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary is back to his cheeky ways, claiming he wants to do away with laws requiring passengers to wear seatbelts on planes because they’re useless. And if people don’t have to be sitting, he could use all that wasted space in the cabin to sell standing room only spots in the cabin for as low as £1 to European destinations. [More]

Runway ready.

Avoid Baggage Fees With Wearable Luggage If You Don’t Mind Looking Completely Ridiculous

Based on some of the outfits I’ve seen at the airport — really? Wearing five-inch stiletto boots with an infinite amount of lacing is a good idea? — plenty of travelers love being stylish when they’re on the go. But if you don’t care how you look and want to avoid paying fees to check baggage or beat weight restrictions on said bags, you should consider the Mr. Potato Head ensemble you can achieve with the Jaktogo. [More]

Aer Lingus Really Doesn't Want Ryanair To Be All Up In Its Business Anymore

Aer Lingus Really Doesn't Want Ryanair To Be All Up In Its Business Anymore

Aer Lingus scored a hit against fellow Irish airline Ryanair in court today, which will allow British authorities to continue investigating the cheapo carriers over its ownership of a 30% stake in Aer Lingus. [More]

Musicians: Ryanair Charges Unnecessary Fees For Stowing Instruments

Musicians: Ryanair Charges Unnecessary Fees For Stowing Instruments

For years, cheapo airlines like Ryanair have acted like flying tour buses for up-and-coming musicians in Europe. But some musically inclined travelers say the fee-happy carrier recently made it harder on them by tacking on unfair charges for passengers traveling with instruments of any size. [More]

Ryanair To Flight Crew: Hey, Fatties — Lose Weight So We Can Save On Fuel

Right when you thought CEO of cut-rate airline Ryanair Michael O’Leary and his merry gang of misfit toys couldn’t introduce more ridiculous ideas in their efforts to be the cheapest in all the land, a company spokesman says they even take flight crew to task on the topic of dieting. You know, to save on fuel from not carting around so many fatties. [More]

Ryanair CEO Needs Police Escort After Gloating In Front Of Laid-Off Workers

Michael O’Leary, CEO of bargain-basement European airline Ryanair, is no stranger to stirring up controversy. But this is probably the first time one of his antics has resulted in him requiring police protection. [More]

Ryanair's In-Flight Porn App Would Let You Join The Mile-High Club All By Yourself

Ryanair's In-Flight Porn App Would Let You Join The Mile-High Club All By Yourself

Michael O’Leary, CEO of cheapo European airline Ryanair, is taking a break from his plans to remove toilets from his planes to talk up his idea for an app that would allow passengers to do everything from gamble to watch porn. [More]

Is In-Flight Advertising Getting Out Of Control?

Is In-Flight Advertising Getting Out Of Control?

Depending on the airline you choose, everything from the exterior of your jet to the overhead compartments to your tray table and the back of your seat to your airplane safety video can be sponsored by an advertiser. And considering the amount of revenue being generated by these ads, they probably aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. [More]

Ryanair Now Planning To Remove Toilets From Planes

Ryanair Now Planning To Remove Toilets From Planes

It’s been more than a year since we’ve heard much about cheapy European airline Ryanair’s grand plan to charge people to use the toilet. That’s because the carrier has apparently ditched the scheme in favor of simply removing two out of three toilets from each of their planes. [More]

Ryanair Treats Passenger For Cardiac Arrest With A Sandwich

Ryanair Treats Passenger For Cardiac Arrest With A Sandwich

A Ryanair passenger’s family is angry with the airline because they say their father had a heart attack on the airplane and all the crew gave him was a sandwich. They also made him pay for the sandwich. [More]

Spirit Airlines To Charge $5 To Print Your Boarding Pass For You

Spirit Airlines To Charge $5 To Print Your Boarding Pass For You

Bottom-dollar carrier Spirit Airlines is trying very hard to become the Ryanair of the U.S., announcing that it will soon begin charging travelers $5 to have a boarding pass printed by a Spirit staffer at the airport. [More]

Ryanair Launches "Child Free Flights"

Ryanair Launches "Child Free Flights"

Most proclamations by RyanAir, the Irish “jet strapped to a metal pole” low-cost airline, sound like April Fool’s jokes anyway but at least their attempt today is right on message. RyanAir announced they are introducing “child free flights” starting late this year. “When it comes to children we all love our own but would clearly prefer to avoid other people’s little monsters when travelling,” said RyanAir’s head of communications Stephen McNamara in a press release. Staying classy is not what this airline is selling. [More]

100 Students Removed From Ryanair Flight Over Baggage Fee Fracas

100 Students Removed From Ryanair Flight Over Baggage Fee Fracas

The scene of student revolt on a Ryanair plane was like something out of Berkeley in the ’60s… Except it wasn’t about the Vietnam war, it was about baggage fees. So okay, it wasn’t exactly like Berkeley, but there were a bunch of pissed-off college students. [More]

Judge: It's Illegal For Ryanair To Charge For Printing Boarding Pass

Judge: It's Illegal For Ryanair To Charge For Printing Boarding Pass

Notoriously cheap airline Ryanair currently charges customers €40 ($53) if they show up at the airport without having printed up their boarding pass. But a judge in Spain says this fee crosses the line from thrifty to illegal. [More]