Sears Promises 5-Minute Returns And Exchanges Without Leaving Your Car

Sears Promises 5-Minute Returns And Exchanges Without Leaving Your Car

Sears is expanding the number of in-person services that they offer to customers who are horrified at the prospect of walking into a Sears. Now you can perform in-person returns and exchanges at your local store, but without getting out of your car. What kind of wizardry is this? It’s the department store chain’s new bid to win over customers with ease and convenience. [More]

(Scott Lynch)

AB InBev Getting Drunk On Idea Of Buying SABMiller For $122 Billion

It’s late at night and Anheuser-Busch InBev and SABMiller are the only two beer companies left in the bar… mostly because these two have merged with everyone else in town. So what’s the harm in a couple of acquisition-tipsy beer biggies getting together? That’s why AB InBev has reportedly been texting its banking buddies for advice on hooking up with Miller. [More]

How Corporations Got The Same Rights As People (But Don’t Ever Go To Jail)

Josh Bassett

In every common-sense, everyday way, a corporation is not a person. Corporations don’t date, don’t have families, don’t go catch a movie on Friday night. They also don’t go to jail when they do something criminal. But in the eyes of the law, corporations enjoy many of the same rights — including free speech and religious expression — and protections afforded to individuals. [More]

(Foodbeast)

Taco Bell Is Testing Tortilla Chip-Encrusted Fried Chicken––No, Really

Remember a few months ago when we shared the news that KFC in the Philippines is offering fried chicken covered in Clover Chips, a popular tapioca-based snack? We took the opportunity to wonder whether parent company Yum Brands might bring that concept to the United States, substituting Dorito crumbs for Clover Chips. Well, maybe the company was listening…just not necessarily KFC. [More]

(Phillip)

Failed Quiznos, Cold Stone Franchises Left Taxpayers On Hook For $72.5M In Last Decade

When that Quiznos sandwich shop you always drove by but never visited closed, you probably didn’t even notice. Or maybe you were a little bit disappointed during your last trip to the mall when you found out the Cold Stone Creamery had shuttered. But what you probably didn’t know is that those failed franchises have left taxpayers on the hook for $72.5 million over the last decade. [More]

Inevitable Black Market For Olive Garden’s Elusive “Never Ending Pasta Pass” Emerges

(eBay)

If you’re not one of the 1,000 people who managed to get your hands on a $100 “Never Ending Pasta Pass” from Olive Garden that does, in fact, only last for a seven-week promotional period, don’t worry. You can either live your life the same way as before, or you can drop deep into the underbelly of Internet commerce and pay a jacked-up price for one. [More]

Just imagine the screen isn't upside down, and you can see how it'll look.

Don’t Worry, Lefties: There’s A Southpaw Mode Of The Apple Watch

By now you may have seen photos or videos of the Apple Watch unleashed on the world yesterday during the company’s big to-do announcing it and two new iPhones. And if you noticed that all the people (or set of hands) demonstrating the timepiece were wearing it on their left hand, to enable ease of use for righties. “But what about us lefties?” many people of that set grumbled — the “digital crown” is on the right, making it not so easy to use when the watch is placed on the right hand. [More]

(david_shankbone)

Hailo Enlists The Help Of “The Rent Is Too Damn High” Guy In Anti-Uber Campaign

When two companies are competitive, there’s something to be said about making your side of the battle highly visible to the public. And how do you do that? Hire a celebrity, or if you’re car service app Hailo, get the former New York mayoral and gubernatorial candidate otherwise known as the “The Rent Is Too Damn High” guy to take shots at Uber’s rates. [More]

Police: Two Guys Soaked Shelves Of Walmart Merchandise With Deer Urine

(SchuminWeb)

I can’t help it — I’ve been struggling and now it’s time to let it out: “Kids these days! Spraying doe urine everywhere, ugh!” Exasperation is the only emotion I can imagine — okay, and extreme disgust — at hearing the news that two youngish guys allegedly soaked the shelves of their local Walmart in deer urine. [More]

John Oliver On For-Profit Colleges: You Might As Well Go To Hogwarts

John Oliver On For-Profit Colleges: You Might As Well Go To Hogwarts

What would it look like if you condensed all our hundreds of stories about student loans and for-profit colleges into a profanity-filled, hilarious rant that takes a brief detour to discuss Lyndon Johnson’s scrotum? John Oliver answered that question on Sunday night. [More]

(Guinness)

Guinness Thinks Light Beers Have More Fun, Goes Blonde In America

After studying Americans very closely, the Irish have apparently decided that in order to fit in around the beer cooler, you’ve gotta go blonde. Whether or not that’s actually true (it isn’t), Guinness is now offering a new blonde “American Lager” in the states, presumably after meetings its stylist and getting convinced a big change is just what it needs. [More]

(stevendepolo)

Family Dollar Spurns Dollar General’s Latest Advances, Turns Down $9.1B Offer

Who needs to watch soap operas when there’s so much drama going on in the dollar store world? Love triangles, spurned advances and complicated affairs — the plot continues to thicken as Family Dollar has rejected Dollar General’s latest takeover offer of $9.1 billion, in favor of a merger with Dollar Tree. We imagine someone slapped someone else by this point. [More]

(Brandy Lee)

Court: Domino’s Not Responsible For Sexual Harassment Of 16-Year-Old Employee

When a worker at a fast food franchise acts like an a-hole, it’s obviously his boss’s immediate responsibility to investigate and discipline that employee if necessary. But does the corporate office share any liability when things go wrong at the franchisee level? What about when people from company HQ are involved in the decision of whether or not to dismiss an employee? According to California’s highest court, the buck stops at the franchisee’s door. [More]

(nathanmac87)

Snobby Store Employees Only Make Us Want To Spend More

Is being sneered at an important part of the luxury shopping experience? Maybe. A new study in the Journal of Consumer Research shows that high-end retailers take advantage of our human need to belong and seek approval in order to vacuum more money out of our non-designer purses. [More]

(Ninja M.)

Apple & FBI Investigating Mass Leak Of Stolen Nude Celebrity Photos

As you undoubtedly read about over the long weekend, numerous female celebrities’ mobile accounts were recently breached, and the extremely revealing results were posted online for all to see (And no, we’re not posting any links here). In addition to the personal embarrassment this invasion might have caused for the people in these images, it’s a black eye for Apple, who has a lot of explaining to do about the security of its iCloud storage. [More]

Google Also Plans To Hasten Robot Apocalypse With Delivery Drones

Google Also Plans To Hasten Robot Apocalypse With Delivery Drones

Not content to sit idly by while the likes of Amazon, UPS, DHL, and others work to bring about the inevitable robot apocalypse, Google announced last night that it too is getting into the delivery-drones-of-doom game with its Project Wing flying machines. [More]

Hershey Joins Elite Club Of Companies With Poo-Like Logos

Hershey Joins Elite Club Of Companies With Poo-Like Logos

Hershey decision to redesign the company logo to look more chocolaty was probably well-intentioned. But as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions… and littered with poo from jerks who don’t pick up after their dogs. [More]

Russia’s Biggest Bank Offering Loaner Cats To Entice Mortgage Borrowers

Just some of the cats available for a 2-hour visit to qualified borrowers' new homes.

Because it’s apparently good luck in Russia to let a cat stroll through your new home before you move your stuff in, and because mortgage interest rates have skyrocketed in the country, some employees at the nation’s largest bank are offering to lend out their feline friends to a handful of mortgage borrowers in the coming months. [More]