"OK, I've only ever used lethal weapons against people in video games, but if she didn't announce something like "And stay down!" immediately after capping him, she should've."
"Spanx (or rather, Assets), saved my sanity when I suddenly gained weight on a new medicine and couldn't zip up the weird, low back of a bridesmaid dress without it."
"@Pope John Peeps II: I despise "evangelists," be them religious freaks screaming at me on the corner, or the stupid wannabe web 2.0 gurus #danielbrusilovsky"
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