"Why have you downsized your Breyers 1/2 gallon cartons?Because everyone else is jumping off a bridge, we felt our customers would expect us to do the same.
In order to remain competitive, Breyers has made the difficult decision to give you less, charge you the same and try to fool you into thinking nothing has changed."
"A "network issue" that only affected one person?
They self escalated it on their own?
They apologized to him for the problem occurring in the first place?
They followed up with Daniel to make sure that he has not had further problems?
Does anyone see whats wrong here?"
"persons who are interested in working and growing as a team and excelling in the project's full potential (with no mention of compensation)
All money generated goes towards financing the rennovations as well as aiding us in being able to pay the workers well above minimum wage in respect to their ability and contributions (this is the gotcha statement, guaranteed that everyone who works there will not be working up to their ability or be substantially contributing to their work)
and understand how the impossible can be overcome against all odds (are they building a cafe or trying to save the crew of a sunken submarine?)
This is a masterful response obviously not written by the owners but by a political speechwriter."
"Avoid debt at all costs but don't forget to stock up on the wind turbines when they go on sale at Walmart.
Learn how to trap, kill, prepare and eat a squirrel now, so that when you have company over in your RV (parked in the Walmart parking lot) you can prepare it in proper fashion with a delicious au jus sauce.
Thank you for a most amusing article, its a great way to end a workday."
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