• McDonald's Employee Hides Pot Stash In Happy Meal Box, Gives Happy Meal To Child
"We realize that you have to disguise your stash when you go to work, but hiding your pipe, marijuana and lighter in a happy meal box is a dangerous idea."

• No, We Didn't Install That Satellite Dish, The One On Your Roof You Didn't Order That Says "Dish Network"
"I contacted Dish Network and they passed me from one person to another with little help, stating I was not in their database. No, I wouldn't be, would I, if I didn't order it!"

• XM Radio Subscribers Are Pretty Darn Ticked Off
"Satellite radio is a hot mess!"

• How To Beat The Stock Market: Buy Companies With High Customer Satisfaction Scores
"From 1996-2003, the portfolio outperformed the Dow Jones Industrial Average by 93%, the S&P 500 by 201%, and NASDAQ by 335%."

• If You've Ever Wondered Why Brooklyn Smells Like Piss
"Not content with mere visuals, we knelt and dipped our finger tips in the liquid."

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