The US Consumer Product Safety Commission is warning consumers not to buy Kinder Chocolate Eggs over Easter, because they pose a choking hazard to small children.

Don't listen to those assholes. Forget Bush for a second — the country-wide ban on the marvelous chocolate delight that is the Kinder Egg is the real reason that the US is now a totalitarian state, a fascist dictatorship.

There is nothing better than cracking open the foil of a Kinder Egg and peeling back the rubbery chocolate shell, revealing the hard orange yolk of the plastic prize bubble. Inside, a wonderful toy just waits to be discovered! Will it be a robot? A small car? Some jacks?

Honestly, the Kinder Egg is worth a few stiff, blue-faced toddlers. The advantage of living in Europe is you can have a Kinder Egg whenever you want. This Easter, whip out your wallet, speak loud, speak strong. Bring back the Kinder Egg.

CPSC Warns of Banned "Kinder Chocolate Eggs" Containing Toys Which Can Pose Choking, Aspiration Hazards to Young Children [CSPC]