According to Google Analytics, here s your top seven Consumerist stories for 2/10-2/16 by visits, ranked from highest to lowest.

Overstock.com Actually Understocked, Manned by Soulless Robots
It was all about the "Oh damn, you're screwed" for Heather...

Consumerist Advice Needed: American Cell Phone Plans
Brownlee's mother needed help finding a mobile...

Employees Are Customers, Too
Four employees of Blenz Coffee walked out mid-shift and taped a note to their boss on the door...

Consumers Speak: Volkswagen's Not-So-Certified Pre-Owned Vehicles
Volkswagen s Certified Pre-Owned program can mean, well, whatever a dealership wants it to mean...

Stupid Science: Make Ice From Fast Food Toilet Water
12 year old finds toilet water local fast food joint contains less bacteria than ice from the soda fountain. Perhaps because the toliet is filled with deadly chemicals?

Consumer Complaints: Blue Niles Break Half-Price Promises
If there's a jump we all damn well know that Paige s ecstasy can t last...

e-Disharmony.com
Happy Valentine s Day, based on our scientific analysis, you re not fit to date any of our members...

Don't forget, Monday is President's day. Gawker Media posts at half-strength in between naming the 14th president, recalling that Andrew Johnson was a tailor before becoming, as only Wikipedia can put it, "a dick all the time," [screenshot archived here] and that George Washington loved ice cream.