According to Google, Sprint is the suckiest cellphone company. When you query "____ sucks," filling in the name of different providers, Sprint returns the most results. Here's how all the providers stacked up:

Helio: 427
T-Mobile: 745
Alltel: 3,500
Verizon: 20,000
AT&T: 22,500
Sprint: 31,000

Note that these results bear no discernible relation to the same companies tested against "___ is the coolest," thereby underscoring this experiment's utter frivolousness.

(Photo: Meghann Marco)