From the other side of the counter, rules and regulations for being a good customer, from the Customers Suck Livejournal.

• When the rebate lady calls, do stop masturbating before picking up the phone.
• Rule 10 for visiting the jewelry booth at an anime convention, "Using air quotes around "one of a kind" when talking about the hairsticks I spent four days on will cause me to leap across the table and strangle me a CatGirl."
• When visiting Burger King, please refrain from committing hate crimes against gay employees.
• Please, don't taunt the caged beasts with witty remarks about the outside world and how they're not experiencing it.