Likewise, a day without an email from Steve of Amy's Ice Cream is like a day without getting hit in the head with a brick. At least, that's the twist this Rocky Road may turn if his latest missives and our retorts are any indication.

All the gore you crave, after the jump...

After we posted Steve's email addres, as he said that he invited anyone with feedback to email him, Amy's Ice Cream received several supportive letters from readers of The Consumerist. Steve forwarded these emails to us.

We replied, "See, not all our readers have horns."

He then sent an email,

"Just a few of the emails I have received since you put my email address up. I am still waiting to pass judgement on your BLOG, all that BS about; "brine" and "made from left-over toffee ice cream". I really think you should wait to pass judgement on people and their businesses until after you have visited them and seen them for yourself. 95% of the emails we receive are from customers that have had a wonderful experience. We are a good company that cares about our customers and our employees. Even "Mike" who sent in the original sign and all, I think has been recovered.
Anyway, just a few thoughts...
Come see us anytime,
Amy and Steve

We replied, "Not all jokes are as sweet as a scoop of vanilla."

He shot back:

Jokes and personal attacks are two different things. I am happy I chose the high road on this one...

We retorted:

"We never passed judgment on Amy's Ice Cream, nor are we responsible for the actions of our readers.

Mike's letter and original complaint provided a window onto a bigger issue, that consumers don't like minimum credit card charges and isn't it odd that these charges are explicitly prohibited in every single credit card's merchant agreement?

The brine you mention, we were referring to the mean letter sent to you, the letter was briney, not your ice cream.

The left-over toffee, that's the award we're talking about. Again, not your ice cream. Look at the picture, you have to admit that hunk looks odd.

We never personally attacked you or Amy.

If you consider it a "high road" to describe our blog as "bullshit," raise your sights."

Both the brine and toffee were mentioned in this post.

Steve riposted:

That's not true Ben, you made all sorts of judgements through, "jokes" "attached file Steve sent" etc.... Just curious, how many hits you get a month? Don't get mad Ben, can't we all just get along?

Peace,
Amy and Steve

We suppose that might count as a sort of elliptical judgement. Last month we got 330,000 hits.

Sure we can get along.

We'd be happy to swing by the ice cream parlor some day. Before we do, however, you may want to clear up some of your health code violations.

After all, how sanitary can the conditions be if the owners constantly have their foot in their mouth?

Previously: Amy's Ice Cream thread

The epic brouhaha even warranted a mention in Amy's Ice Cream news section. For instance, did you know that, "If you buy a small ice cream with one crushin' and charge it, the fees can be as much as 15%?"

"I would like to respond to the "craziness" that is flying around," Steve writes The Consumerist. "First, I have attached the sign that greets consumers now in our stores. It is the original sign that was replaced by the one that was posted on your website. One of our managers replaced his sign with the brief and too the point sign that is not our belief. We are a small mom and pop, Amy and Steve, we are 21 years old and we are not a big company, although we have 13 stores, we do the sales volume of one Chili's restaurant in 13 locations. If we had to do it over again, we would never have taken credit cards. Most of our transactions are small and the fees are ridiculous, as much as 10-15%. Don't blame us, blame Visa and Mastercard. I apologize for this misunderstanding and encourage our customers if they are really mad to send me an email steve@amysicecreams.com."

The file Steve sent us over was titled, "NEW$10Minimum.pub"

Previously: Amy's Ice Cream thread

Steve, Amy's partner in the ice cream shoppe and husband, forwarded an email he received from someone who reads The Consumerist.

"This is a copy of an email I received this weekend. Nice people," he says...

Dunk your head in the brine-flavored ice-cream , after the jump...

"Dear Amy,

What I really love about Amy's is...

You really need to go to school and take some classes on business. You have no idea how to treat customers. I read your response to "Mike's" letter about credit card fees. You are a mean bitch who has no business sense what so ever. I will never eat your icecream and will encourage other no to as well. Really, get some lessons on customer service.

We replied to Steve, "Welcome to the unfiltered horror of the Internet."

Cluck, cluck, such scamps you are. However, if you want to do something constructive, send a similarly pointed letter to VISA and ask them to stop charging so many fees to process transactions.

In contrast, here are some quotes about Amy's Ice Cream from their website:

"Amy believes that a customer deserves more than just ice cream." - Wall Street Journal

"...sells terrific products and gives excellent service." - Inc.

"Even more than the ice cream, the scoopers and their trademark schtick...keep the customers coming back for more." - Texas Monthly.

Perhaps the customer service acumen behind the scoop should be applied more liberally to their email exchanges with customers.

Previously: Amy's Ice Cream thread.

Mike went to Amy's Ice Cream, the store that Stephen originally complained about for requiring a minimum credit card charge of $10.

We're not trying to run Amy (pictured, seated far right) out of business, we just think it's interesting that the merchant credit card processing rules prohibit requiring a minimum purchase amount, yet many stores do it anyway.

If it was important enough to pay lawyers to draft the language into contracts and the ink to print it out, obviously someone, somewhere, thought businesses shouldn't do this. However, the bad guys aren't the ice cream parlors, it's the banks and their usurious fees, which then get passed down to the consumer.

Mike wrote a letter and Amy's ice cream shoppe wrote back, after the jump...

Mike scribed:

"Dear Amy,

I was unhappily disappointed with my last visit because...
I just went to your location last night. I am 28 years old. I have zero kids, and 1 girlfriend. That means that if my whole family goes to Amy's and I order what I order and she orders what she orders the total is $8.88. I was greeted with a sign that says we do not accept credit card transactions under $10.00. I do not carry cash, I have not carried cash since about 2001. Cash is dirty, not easily replensiable, and slow. There is no real possibility that I am going to spend 10 dollars ever at an Amy's at one time. We go to Amy's often. We will not be going if I have to stop somewhere and get cash first. It is too much of an inconvience to me.

This new policy doesn't really fly with me, you are not a small company any longer, you have 10 locations, and I am sure more are coming.

Also I am not sure if you are aware of your agreement with VISA/MC but in your requirements as a credit card merchant, you are not allowed to require a minimum amount to use a credit card transaction. If they had found out about this restriction, you can have your credit card merchant account taken away.

All these factors have left me quite upset with this whole thing. I can't even spend 10 dollars at Amy's, you are not a small company anymore, and it is against the rules of being a VISA merchant.

I hope you will reconsider this policy.

Also your new policy has made internet headlines, at a consumer watch dog website."

Amy's reply:

Dear Mike,

First, we are a small mom and pop, we still answer the emails, there isn't a PR department or marketing wing to answer you complaint. I am sorry that this sigjn upset you. We are trying to keep costs down, so we don't have to raise prices. Do you realize that your $8.88 transaction can cost up to 10% to process? Do you want us to raise prices to $9.76 for you? The credit card companies charge us a transaction fee, a % of sales fee, a fee if the credit card is not read and has to be hand entered, a fee if we don't have the billing address zip codes... Are you following me? Tiger Woods is not getting $14 million dollars a year from annual fees. We are facing ever increasing costs for gas, insurance, workers comp etc... None of which you care about, but need to know because I am sure you don't want us to increase our prices. As for the Visa cards coming to get our account... that would be our lucky day, we spent close to $50,000.00 last year on credit cards. Do our customers spend more because we except credit cards? No, you can only eat so much ice cream. I appreciate you listening to our side, please try to understand. Thanks for the feedback,

Amy and Steve

Check out page 14 of the Rules for Visa Merchants [pdf].

Might be something to print out and keep in the 'ol wallet.

UPDATE: The pdf linked to was encrypted so it could only be viewed, not printed, here's a printable version, thanks to Will!

Stephen of Texas figured the jigger out after he went to an ice cream parlor that wanted a $10 minimum charge. His Butterfinger Vanilla melting letter, after the jump...