(CaliCBL)

Using 911 As A Hotline For Help Ordering Chinese Food Is A Guaranteed Way To Tick Off The Cops

It’s not always easy figuring out what you want to eat, or how to navigate big menus. But if you’re feeling stuck, lost or otherwise confused about ordering in, don’t do what one woman allegedly did and call 911 for help. Unless, that is, you want to get charged with a misdemeanor. [More]

(Tama Lever)

Just Because You’re Wearing Epaulets & An Air France T-Shirt Doesn’t Mean You’re A Real Pilot

Ugh, this guy is gonna ruin wearing Air France T-shirts and black leather jackets with epaulets for everybody: Pilots on a U.S. Airways flight were pretty sure a French man wearing the aforementioned ensemble wasn’t a pilot when he plunked down in a cockpit seat. Good catch, everyone. [More]

Even this guy works at night.

Breaking Into A Store Through The Ceiling Will Get You Noticed If It’s During Business Hours

We’ve all seen the movie where Tom Cruise is like “Hey, I’m a thief guy and I’m coming down through the ceiling to steal something!” (Go on and IMDB it if you want.) But in real life, that’s a pretty risky move. And whether or not you successfully maneuver down through the ceiling, people in the store are probably gonna notice if it’s the middle of the day and not say, the dead of night. [More]

(bluwmongoose)

Former Girl Scout Leader Accused Of Using Troop Funds To Fuel Her Car, Love Life

Okay, 2013. Seriously. What do you have against Girl Scouts? Is there a cosmic conspiracy afoot? In the latest Girl Scouts-related crime, a former troop leader in Georgia is accused of swiping troop funds to buy gas and pay for dating services. She allegedly maintained her fancy lifestyle with thousands of dollars in stolen funds. [More]

(nathanmac87)

The Boy Who Cried “Bingo” Banned From Uttering The Word For 6 Months

You know that whole thing about how you can’t run into a theater and shout “fire” if there’s nothing on fire? That same exception to the First Amendment’s right to free speech holds for interrupting a perfectly good bingo game by screaming “BINGO!” if you haven’t, in fact, scored a bingo. An 18-year-old in Kentucky learned that lesson from the law after crying “bingo” last month. [More]

(Triborough)

Girl Scout Troops Let Down When $24K Order Turns Out To Be A Cruel Hoax

UPDATE: After hearing the woeful tale of the Girl Scouts swindled out of a $24,000 sale, locals in Portland showed up over the weekend to buy up 3,000 boxes of the 6,000 that had been set aside for the hoax order. [More]

(Todd Kravos)

Beating Up The ATM That Ate Your Card Will Get You A Felony Charge Instead Of Cash

We’ve seen all kinds of seemingly minor acts turn into what’s termed “a pretty freaking big deal” just by a simple twist of events. Like admitting to past crimes, taking out too much anger on an ATM can earn you a felony. Police in New Hampshire say it wasn’t a simple kick that got one ATM customer in trouble, but a major mess-up. [More]

(frankieleon)

Hey, You Left Your Counterfeit Money Inside This Possibly Stolen Printer You’re Trying To Return!

It’s already pretty difficult to return an item without a receipt at many retailers, but when a guy left behind a sheet of counterfeit money in the printer he was trying to bring back to Walmart, police got wise that something was shady. [More]

(NYCviaRachel)

Rest easy, everyone: The (alleged) South Carolina Girl Scout Cookie Bandit has been apprehended. The accused is a worker at the storage company where the cookies were swiped from, making this an inside job. A round of Thin Mints and milk, please. [WSPA.com]

(stevelyon)

Yet Another Accused Thief Makes Rookie Mistake Of Uploading Pics From Stolen iPad To The Cloud

The funny thing about those who steal technological toys like iPads and iPhones from others is often that they don’t really know the capabilities of the electronics they’ve swiped. Even if they do, incriminating photos have a way of showing up and biting them in the rear. A woman accused of stealing an iPad ended up providing her own mug shot when photos her kids reportedly took were uploaded to the owner’s cloud. [More]

(NYCViaRachel)

Picky Thieves Steal $19K Worth Of Girl Scout Cookies — All In Thin Mints & Shortbread

We’ve all got our favorite type of Girl Scout cookie, and it appears lowdown, dirty thieving scoundrels who would steal from the young scouts are no exception. Someone made off with almost $19,000 worth of cookies from a South Carolina warehouse — all of them either of the Thin Mints or Shortbread variety. [More]

(Scoboco)

Couple Facing Felony Theft Charges After Admitting Skipping Out On Movie Tickets Before

The first rule of getting caught doing something bad is, or should be, “shut up.” Not that we condone stealing snacks from your employer or sneaking into movies, of course. As such, a husband and wife team were nabbed without tickets to a movie and are now facing felony theft charges after saying this wasn’t their first time at the ticket-skipping rodeo. [More]

(frankieleon)

Couple Foils Their Walmart Crime Spree With A Marital Screaming Match In The Parking Lot

The couple that shoplifts together, stays together — unless marital disputes get in the way, perhaps. A husband and wife team reportedly had a successful crime spree at an Illinois Walmart, allegedly boosting $2,400 in stolen merchandise without any store employees noticing a thing. But they sure paid attention when the two started a screaming match in the parking lot. [More]

(Scentzilla)

Whoever Stole A Jukebox From Hooters Probably Mad It Dispenses Sweet Tunes Instead Of Cash

On one hand, the two men suspected of boosting a jukebox from a Hooters restaurant in San Diego are probably bummed if they thought it was an ATM. But on the other — how sweet would it be to have your own jukebox? Well, if it hadn’t been stolen. Because stealing is wrong, even if you think you’re stealing one thing and it’s actually something else. [More]

(Karen_Chappell)

You Think You Can Just Scoot Into Walmart & Set It On Fire While You Shoplift? Nope.

Apologies for the headline because of course you are physically able to ride a motorized shopping cart into Walmart and set stuff on fire as a diversion tactic while boosting items, but you should not do so and will likely be caught. Just like the guy who is accused of trying that same stunt in Ohio. [More]

(catastrophegirl)

How To Get Cops’ Attention: Steal A Krispy Kreme Truck Full Of Doughnuts

Stealing? Well, that’s wrong. And your odds of getting cops to chase you increase significantly if you choose to boost a truck full of glorious, glazed doughnutty goodness. A man in Georgia found that out pretty quickly after he allegedly made off with a Krispy Kreme truck that had been stopped at a gas station. And of course, a high-speed police chase ensued.  [More]

(Vancouver Police)

Thief Feels Awfully Bad About Stealing Couple’s Tandem Bike, Returns It With Apology Note

When one of your possessions goes missing, often the feeling of personal loss over something you need and use in your life trumps the anger you might feel toward a thief. Like maybe the perp wouldn’t take your item if he or she knew what it meant to you, but it’s gone so that’s that. But in the case of a couple who needed their stolen tandem bike and counted on it to get around, it seems the thief actually did realize he’d done wrong. [More]

(Earth2Kim)

Robbers Make Off With $1.3 Million Worth Of Products In New Year’s Eve Apple Store Heist

While the rest of Paris was focused on ringing in the New Year, armed gunmen were all about bringing in some new gear during a robbery at an Apple store in Paris. Police had their eyes on the partying people on the Champs-Elysees while the masked thieves broke into the Apple flagship store nearby on Monday night. [More]