(CollegeHumor)

Humor Website Offers To Buy Giant Stuffed Carnival Banana For $2600

Earlier this week, we shared with you the sad story of a dad who lost his life’s savings playing a carnival game trying to win an Xbox Kinect for his kids (okay, probably for himself too.) He lost $2,600 when going “double or nothing” got terribly out of hand, and has nothing to show for it but a human-sized stuffed banana with dreadlocks. We shared this story as a cautionary tale about gambling, carnival games, and making sound investment choices. Over at CollegeHumor.com, they have a different take. They want the banana. [More]

Not the ice cream in question. (Morton Fox)

Punching A Cashier In The Face Won’t Make A Free Ice Cream Coupon Any Less Expired

If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times: staying calm and reasonable will get you so much farther than getting all violent and punchy. Although it’s still all in the Land of Alleged, police say a Long Island man punched a Carvel worker in the face after she refused to honor his expired coupon for a free ice cream cone. Sigh. [More]

(Scoboco)

Suspected Peeping Toms Crash Through Ceiling Of Women’s Bathroom At Movie Theater

Here’s the thing: If you don’t want people to suspect you of being a peeping Tom, don’t crawl around in the ceiling above a women’s bathroom. But if you do happen to fall through such a ceiling, like two men did in Georgia? Cops will probably accuse you of spying on ladies. Which is what happened just recently. [More]

(poopoorama)

Returning To Pay Restaurant Check A Week Later Is A Nice Move Unless You Decide To Pick A Fight

It’s not always easy to do the right thing, but one man’s conscience apparently kicked in a week after he’d walked out on a restaurant bill. He came back to pay the bill which is great, good for him and all of that — but then allegedly got belligerent with the eatery’s staff while doing so. [More]

(frankieleon)

Maybe Man Accused Of Stealing Whitening Strips, Condoms & Weight-Loss Pills Had A Hot Date

Police in Colorado are on the lookout for a guy who’s probably having a really great time now, or is at least looking quite dashing and dapper while doing so. Authorities say a “well-groomed” suspect waltzed into several Walgreens stores and boosted more than $2,600 worth of teeth-whitening strips, weight-loss pills, probiotics, condoms and Rogaine, as well as other hair-growth products. [More]

(catastrophegirl)

Man Gets 15 Months In Jail For Plane Hoax, Has To Write 38 Apology Letters To Passengers

Just in case you ever need a really good reason not to call in a fake bomb threat to an airplane, look no farther than the incident last year where armed agents swarmed a tarmac at Philadelphia International Airport, arrested one guy on the U.S. Airways flight and freaked out a whole bunch of travelers: Turns out the call was made by another man, jealous of a Facebook photo of his girlfriend that the other man had posted. He’s in big trouble now. [More]

(The Consumerist)

Cops: McDonald’s Customer Traded A Happy Meal For A Happy Ending

Doesn’t matter if you’re handing over cash, a selection of fine cheeses or a bag of french fries — the law will get ya if you’re trading goods for certain ah, services. Police say a New Mexico man set up an illegal trade of the fast food-for-sex variety in Albuquerque recently, wherein he picked up a woman and then ordered her a meal at McDonald’s. [More]

(Maine Police Handout)

Ask This Guy How To Survive For Almost 30 Years In The Woods On Spaghetti-Os

Part of the fun of going camping is the novelty of eating camp food that you might not otherwise eat at home. Roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over the flames, snacking on trail mix or just heating up a can of Spaghetti-Os — all of those are fun while you’re in the woods. Which makes us wonder how the guy who lived in the woods in Maine for 27 years feels about camp food now. [More]

(hesweptlime)

Louvre Forced To Close After Staff Walks Out In Protest Of Aggressive Pickpockets

Beyond all the valuable pieces of art on display at the Louvre in Paris, there’s a whole other set of treasures — the pockets and purses of the millions of visitors who walk through its doors every year. The world’s most-visited museum was forced to close today after more than 100 staff walked out in protest over the rampant thievery going on right under Mona Lisa’s nose. [More]

(Todd Kravos)

Cops On The Lookout For Guy With An ATM That Doesn’t Belong To Him

Anyone living in North Carolina — if your friend lets you use his “personal” ATM, perhaps in the living room or backyard, it’s probably not his. We say that because police are currently on the hunt for a suspect who first stole an excavator from a construction site and then used it to boost a 2,000-pound ATM nearby. [More]

(ninjapoodles)

Nobody Move Or The Spaghetti Will Be Ruined: Woman Robs Bank With Tomato Sauce “Bomb”

We’ve seen our share of consumers gone wrong, people who rob banks and maybe get caught, maybe don’t. But never before have we seen someone risk their dinner during a heist. A woman accused of robbing a bank in Michigan got away with a heist recently by claiming she had a bomb in a bag. In no world is spaghetti sauce an explosive device, unless maybe Gallagher and his mallet are involved. [More]

(dirtyblueshirts)

Cops Track Down Stolen TV Based On Suspicious Activity On Owner’s Netflix Account

Somebody’s watching you — and it might just be your Netflix account. Which turned out to be a very good thing for the owner of a stolen TV in Raleigh, N.C. who had linked up his Netflix account with the device. Police not only recovered the TV in question but a cache of allegedly stolen goods at another home. [More]

(Great Beyond)

Woman Files Insurance Claim For Stolen Items Using Receipts From Store That Didn’t Exist

It’s quite awful to have more than $116,000 in jewelry, electronics and high-end accessories, including a Lois Vuitton purse, stolen from the back of your dad’s Lexus. Awful! But if those items perhaps never even existed and you file an insurance claim on them using receipts from a store that wasn’t open on the date of the receipts… Don’t expect any sympathy from police. [More]

Enraged At Wrong Sauce, Customers Attacked Dip-Hurling Pretzel Stand Worker

Enraged At Wrong Sauce, Customers Attacked Dip-Hurling Pretzel Stand Worker

It’s every snack lover’s nightmare: you get your pretzel, dip it in the provided dipping sauce, and discover that the idiot behind the counter at Auntie Anne’s pretzels gave you the wrong sauce. Only they wouldn’t replace it for free because the snackers had already used the offending sauce. [More]

(CaliCBL)

Using 911 As A Hotline For Help Ordering Chinese Food Is A Guaranteed Way To Tick Off The Cops

It’s not always easy figuring out what you want to eat, or how to navigate big menus. But if you’re feeling stuck, lost or otherwise confused about ordering in, don’t do what one woman allegedly did and call 911 for help. Unless, that is, you want to get charged with a misdemeanor. [More]

(Tama Lever)

Just Because You’re Wearing Epaulets & An Air France T-Shirt Doesn’t Mean You’re A Real Pilot

Ugh, this guy is gonna ruin wearing Air France T-shirts and black leather jackets with epaulets for everybody: Pilots on a U.S. Airways flight were pretty sure a French man wearing the aforementioned ensemble wasn’t a pilot when he plunked down in a cockpit seat. Good catch, everyone. [More]

Even this guy works at night.

Breaking Into A Store Through The Ceiling Will Get You Noticed If It’s During Business Hours

We’ve all seen the movie where Tom Cruise is like “Hey, I’m a thief guy and I’m coming down through the ceiling to steal something!” (Go on and IMDB it if you want.) But in real life, that’s a pretty risky move. And whether or not you successfully maneuver down through the ceiling, people in the store are probably gonna notice if it’s the middle of the day and not say, the dead of night. [More]

(bluwmongoose)

Former Girl Scout Leader Accused Of Using Troop Funds To Fuel Her Car, Love Life

Okay, 2013. Seriously. What do you have against Girl Scouts? Is there a cosmic conspiracy afoot? In the latest Girl Scouts-related crime, a former troop leader in Georgia is accused of swiping troop funds to buy gas and pay for dating services. She allegedly maintained her fancy lifestyle with thousands of dollars in stolen funds. [More]