(Coyoty)

When A Man Loves A Sub Shop Window Very, Very Much, He Gets Arrested

According to police, a Washington state man had a very strange reaction when he learned that the sub shop he wanted to visit was closed. Some people might knock on the door, or try to find another place to get a sandwich. That is not what he did. The cops say that he pulled down his pants and mashed his genitals against the window, and was arrested for indecent exposure. [More]

(PictureTaker_NJ)

Please Don’t Fling Your Empty E-Cigarette Cartridges Out The Car Window

E-cigarettes, even the ones that are plugged into the correct charger and don’t explode, have a problem. Well, their users have a problem. Some former cigarette smokers who are used to flinging butts out the window when they finish a smoke are having trouble letting go of their nasty habit. The trouble is that metal e-cig cartridges are, well, metal, and puncture tires out on the roads. [More]

(KCTV)

What Kind Of Jerk Refuses To Tip A Waiter Because He’s Gay?

While endless debates about the practice of tipping food-service employees rage all over the Internet, most people agree on one thing: if you’re happy with the service you received, you should leave some kind of tip. Some diners at a Kansas Carrabba’s restaurant allegedly made their own exception to that: “unless you disapprove of the server’s personal life.” [More]

Police: Shoplifter Shoved Steak And Seafood Down Pants

Police: Shoplifter Shoved Steak And Seafood Down Pants

Employees of a Price Chopper in Troy, N.Y. noticed something kind of strange in the wee hours of the morning: a customer stuffed steak and seafood in his pants, then walked out of the store. Police followed the man on a four-block car chase with lights and sirens, ultimately capturing him and the meats when he drove into a pole. [More]

(bryanbope)

Everyone Sees Themselves In This Rage-Filled Customer Service Meltdown Video

Sometimes a picture, story, or video posted online seems so over-the-top that we think that it can’t possibly be real. It has to be a viral marketing ploy, a prank, or somehow involve Jimmy Kimmel. Listening to this recording that purports to be a real customer service call to a home security company, we desperately wanted it to be a hoax…but the court of Internet public opinion has ruled that it probably isn’t. [More]

(Bill Ward's Brickpile)

Man Ate In Restaurants, Refused To Pay: Sentenced To 3 Years In Prison

Authorities don’t know why an Illinois man skipped out on his tabs at two restaurants. Was he broke? Was the food terrible? We don’t know. What we do know is that twice in a period of two months, he ordered a nice meal at a restaurant, then simply told waitstaff that he couldn’t pay and waited for the police to arrive. [More]

Your Review Isn’t Really About The Product? Don’t Whine When It’s Rejected

([RAWRZ!])

We often receive complaints from readers who have totally legitimate gripes about shipping or customer service issues at retailers, both online and in real life. Unfortunately, they chose to share these complaints with the world by writing about them in the retailer’s product reviews. The problem with this plan is that companies control which reviews are and aren’t posted. If they don’t post yours, it’s not because they hate free speech: it’s because you didn’t follow the directions. [More]

(frankieleon)

If You Don’t Want That Drink You Just Ordered, Don’t Throw It At The Taco Bell Employee

It’s not a good week for Taco Bell employees. First, one particularly mouthy worker was caught on camera apparently licking a stack of hard taco shells. And now comes the case of the so-called Taco Bell Tossers: Police say three customers ordered up some grub and drinks, and then promptly threw the liquid back in the faces of the drive-through workers. [More]

Just like Morgan and Jack! But not.

Pals Realize They Should’ve Added “Get Arrested” To Bucket List As Well As “Retail Theft”

Kids these days! They make these pacts, give in to peer pressure and end up– what’s that? Two adult women made a silly deal to do a bunch of stuff on their bucket lists and wind up in jail? Oh, well, that’s different then. And still ridiculous. [More]

(stirwise)

Alleged Shoplifter Makes A Run For It, Loses Pants

Always dress for the task at hand. If you’re going on a long hike, wear layers. Going to the beach? Put on some sunscreen. Suspicious clouds in the sky? Pack an umbrella. And if you’re going shoplifting, for gosh sakes, make sure your clothes fit properly. And put on some underpants. [More]

(Ron Dauphin)

Theft Of A $37 Walmart Printer Turns Into High-Speed Chase With Meth Flying Everywhere

We live in a world where the desire for a $37 printer can lead to a scene straight out of an action movie, complete with a high-speed police chase and drugs flying out the car windows. Police say a couple was spotted lifting a printer from a Walmart in Louisiana and tried to make a run for it. And it was all downhill (super fast) from there. [More]

(MeneerDijk)

Man Uses $530K Of Insurance Money Meant To Pay For Wife’s Dialysis To Buy Trucks, Skid Loader

When a loved one’s health is hanging in the balance, one might think that a husband would do anything in his power to help his wife. One might think that, but in the case of a man who was sentenced to 18 months in prison for stealing more than $530,000 in health insurance payments, he used that money on things like cars and a skid loader instead of paying for his wife’s kidney dialysis. [More]

(Dykam)

Man Arrested For Overnight Grocery Store Feast Of Whipped Cream, Steak, Shrimp, And Beer

According to police, a Kentucky man held the best overnight grocery store campout ever in the wee hours of Monday morning. Employees knew that something was up when they found 57 cans of Reddi-Whip brand whipped cream in the store’s trash. The whipped cream cans use nitrous oxide as a propellant, see. Oh, but the festivities didn’t stop there. [More]

(Morton Fox)

A Bucket Of Chili Proves Useful In Thwarting Would-Be Robbers At Chicken Joint

Silly would-be robbers — if you haven’t learned by now not to try to steal from a restaurant with an abundance of hot stuff around, well, things probably won’t work out for you. Police Down Under say a man attempting a heist at a Sydney chicken shop left with a faceful of hot chili flakes instead of cash, due to a quick-thinking employee. [More]

(teksmith)

Man Accused Of Robbing Credit Union To Pay For Disney Cruise Didn’t Want To Ruin Family Trip

Family vacation is a time-honored, lovely, downright stressful and sometimes harrowing tradition. We’ve all seen National Lampoon’s Vacation with the Griswold family (if you haven’t, step into the sunlight, introduce yourself to the world), so we know there’s pressure to make everything go well. But cops say one family man took that to the extreme, by robbing a credit union in order to make the final payment on a Disney cruise. [More]

(CollegeHumor)

Humor Website Offers To Buy Giant Stuffed Carnival Banana For $2600

Earlier this week, we shared with you the sad story of a dad who lost his life’s savings playing a carnival game trying to win an Xbox Kinect for his kids (okay, probably for himself too.) He lost $2,600 when going “double or nothing” got terribly out of hand, and has nothing to show for it but a human-sized stuffed banana with dreadlocks. We shared this story as a cautionary tale about gambling, carnival games, and making sound investment choices. Over at CollegeHumor.com, they have a different take. They want the banana. [More]

Not the ice cream in question. (Morton Fox)

Punching A Cashier In The Face Won’t Make A Free Ice Cream Coupon Any Less Expired

If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times: staying calm and reasonable will get you so much farther than getting all violent and punchy. Although it’s still all in the Land of Alleged, police say a Long Island man punched a Carvel worker in the face after she refused to honor his expired coupon for a free ice cream cone. Sigh. [More]

(Scoboco)

Suspected Peeping Toms Crash Through Ceiling Of Women’s Bathroom At Movie Theater

Here’s the thing: If you don’t want people to suspect you of being a peeping Tom, don’t crawl around in the ceiling above a women’s bathroom. But if you do happen to fall through such a ceiling, like two men did in Georgia? Cops will probably accuse you of spying on ladies. Which is what happened just recently. [More]