Is he telling us to be quiet or the burger?!?

Hipster Dad Version Of Hamburglar Fails To Sell McDonald’s Sirloin Burgers

The updated version of the Hamburglar, a classic McDonald’s character, had one job. He was supposed to sell “third-pounder” sirloin burgers to children of the ’70s and ’80s who grew up with the Hamburglar as part of the McDonaldLand marketing ensemble, and who are now young adult “foodies.” Yet the appeal to nostalgia and his snazzy hamburger tie weren’t enough to draw customers in to try the burger he was promoting. [More]

This McDonald’s Asks Drive-Thru Customers To Bend The Laws Of Physics

This McDonald’s Asks Drive-Thru Customers To Bend The Laws Of Physics

McDonald’s is trying all kinds of new things to attract younger customers and sling fries at them, but we’re not so sure about their plan to increase drive-thru traffic in the United Kingdom by bending the laws of physics. “Please use both lanes to place your order,” a new sign says. Both? [More]

McDonald’s Now Threatening To Sneak Into Your Kitchen, Steal Your Food

McDonald’s Now Threatening To Sneak Into Your Kitchen, Steal Your Food

Five years ago, we warned you that before long, “artisanal” would become the new “organic,” and companies would adopt it in their marketing. The prediction came true, and companies like McDonald’s and Arby’s are advertising “artisan” mass-produced meat products. In advertising their artisan grilled chicken products, McDonald’s may be taking their “we use real food, honest” thing a little too far. [More]

(Harry McCracken)

McDonald’s, If It’s Come To This, Just Improve Your Food

“We’ve heard the same rumors you have,” says a recent publication from McDonald’s. “Fillers in our beef, so called ‘pink slime.'” The message is fine, but the location is problematic: McDonald’s is not only protesting a little too much, but this message is on a tray placemat. In one of their restaurants. The kind that you look at while you eat your McDonald’s food. [More]

McDonald’s Could Become The Biggest Kale Buyer In The Land

McDonald’s Could Become The Biggest Kale Buyer In The Land

McDonald’s is trying to make its food offerings better and fresher to coax young adults back to their restaurants. In addition to a simplified drive-thru menu, the company is also testing fancy giant burgers, cutting ingredients from its products, and will no longer use chicken treated with antibiotics also used in humans. Yet their decision to start serving kale as a regional test is drawing lots of attention. [More]

McDonald’s Will Pay SXSW Performers After All

McDonald’s Will Pay SXSW Performers After All

Global fast-food mega-brand McDonald’s has gone digging behind its metaphorical couch cushions this week after negative music festival-related publicity. A band exposed the company’s plans to not pay artists invited to play in its showcase at the South by Southwest Music Festival, even though it had budgeted to distribute free McDonald’s food and drink. Now, in an unsurprising move, McDonald’s will pay the bands that play in its showcase. [More]

McDonald’s Invites Indie Band To Sell Out For No Pay

McDonald’s Invites Indie Band To Sell Out For No Pay

The South by Southwest Music Festival is an annual event in Austin, Texas, where you can discover relatively unknown independent bands and absorb other forms of culture. Playing the festival can be a great opportunity, and McDonald’s apparently knows this. The duo Ex Cops received an invitation to play at the “McDonald’s Showcase” at this year’s festival. How much was the global mega-corporation going to pay the band? Well, um, they don’t have a budget for paying the artists. [More]

McDonald’s Testing “Shakin’ Flavor” Seasoning On Both McNuggets And Fries In Nevada

McDonald’s Testing “Shakin’ Flavor” Seasoning On Both McNuggets And Fries In Nevada

Not content to let seasoned dust fall only on French fries in California, McDonald’s has now expanded its test of Shakin’ Flavors to its chicken McNuggets in some Nevada locations as well. Again, this just sounds like a great big salty mess waiting to get all over our hands. [More]

(Morton Fox)

McDonald’s And Cargill Say They Didn’t Put Plastic In Japanese McNugget

Things aren’t going well at McDonald’s Japan recently. From the incident where a human tooth turned up in a customer’s food to the shards of plastic found in nuggets and ice cream to the French fry shortage that caused the chain to airlift a metric ton of fries into the country, it’s not surprising that consumers are staying away. Now there’s news about that nugget incident that blames either McDonald’s or the customer for the plastic nugget incident. [More]

Burger King Brings Back 15-Cent Chicken Nuggets In Price War With McDonald’s

Burger King Brings Back 15-Cent Chicken Nuggets In Price War With McDonald’s

If you have a massive craving for chicken nuggets, great news out of your local fast-food outlets: the nugget price wars have begun. Kind of. After McDonald’s launched its inexplicable deal featuring a box of 50 nuggets for $9.99, Burger King has fired back, offering the more reasonable quantity of ten nuggets for $1.49. It’s all about attracting foot traffic as fast-food outlets try to get American consumers to come back. [More]

(Paxton Holley)

McDonald’s Japan Serves Up Food Containing Plastic Shards, Human Teeth

Here in the United States, McDonald’s is busy assuring us that their chicken nuggets are definitely made out of chicken. Over in Japan, the company has a different challenge: assuring the public that their food does not contain pieces of vinyl or human teeth. That’s in addition to the ongoing fry shortage due to a potato shortage in Japan. [More]

Aspiring McDonald’s Customer Falls Asleep In Drive-Thru, Arrested For Drunken Driving

Aspiring McDonald’s Customer Falls Asleep In Drive-Thru, Arrested For Drunken Driving

The woman in line at the drive-thru at a McDonald’s near Cleveland simply wanted to order some fast food and be on her way. Presumably that’s what she wanted, anyway: she was in the drive-thru line. Restaurant employees called police when she was unable to order due to slurred speech, then fell asleep at the wheel, blocking the drive-thru. [More]

This cup is not mouse-infested. We think. (Adam Jefferson)

Man Claims McDonald’s In Canada Served Him Mouse-Flavored Coffee

A man in Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada ordered a cup of coffee at McDonald’s during his commute to work, finishing the cup at the office. That was when he found the surprise at the bottom of his cup. It was not the good kind of surprise: he told the CBC that he found a dead mouse and some mouse droppings at the bottom of his coffee. [More]

Would You Pay 8 Bucks For A Burger At McDonald’s?

Would You Pay 8 Bucks For A Burger At McDonald’s?

Consumers are losing interest in fast food, instead preferring the slightly classier fare served at establishments like Five Guys or Smashburger. In Australia, McDonald’s is experimenting with an interesting idea: fancier burgers with ingredients that customers choose themselves, using a magical touchscreen burger-ordering machine. People in Australia like it, but would it work back here in the burger chain’s home country? [More]

Would You Like Guacamole With Your McDonald’s Meal?

Would You Like Guacamole With Your McDonald’s Meal?

You might react to this concept with either horror or curiosity: McDonald’s is testing guacamole as a condiment and dipping sauce at its restaurants in southern California, and they’re testing a fancy new Guacamole Burger in Denver. For 89 cents, they’ll put guacamole on anything. Anything? [More]

(SA_Steve)

The Average Burger King Outlet Earns Half As Much As A McDonald’s. Why?

Competitors McDonald’s and Burger King sell similar food to similar customers, and both use a franchise business model. Yet, on average, a McDonald’s restaurant takes in about twice as much as the average Burger King restaurant. Why is that? Well, for starters, that creepy king mascot of theirs was driving women and children away. [More]

KFC Australia Puts Tortilla Chips On Sandwich, Popcorn Chicken On Nachos

KFC Australia Puts Tortilla Chips On Sandwich, Popcorn Chicken On Nachos

Over at KFC Australia, they seem to be a little confused about how nachos work. Not that Americans have any special claim to snack food logic, but at least our fast food outlets haven’t done anything completely wacky like throwing popcorn chicken on nachos, or tortilla chips on a sandwich. [More]

McDonald’s Switzerland Puts Gruyere, Goat, Swiss Cheeses On Burgers

McDonald’s Switzerland Puts Gruyere, Goat, Swiss Cheeses On Burgers

The name of a current promotion at McDonald’s in Switzerland translates as “large cheese cravings,” and that’s what it’s giving us around the Consumerist office. Unlike the boring old cheeses we’re stuck with here in America, Swiss fast foodies can try burgers topped with fine rolls of what we in the US call Swiss cheese, or with tasty slabs of Gruyère or goat cheese. [More]