U.S. Fidelis, the auto warranty company that's currently being investigated by 40 state attorneys general for questionable business practices, has hired the law firm headed by former U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft. The firm won't represent the company in litigation, but is supposed to provide an internal review of their practices. They'll also provide draping cloths for any immodest statuary, and wiretap kits for employees of interest. Hey, it's hard to do topical humor on someone who's been out of office for 4 years.

"U.S. Fidelis hires Ashcroft firm" [St. Louis Business Journal]